• Welcome to the FREE TUGBBS forums! The absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 31 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day!
  • TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce weekly short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!

    All subscribers auto-entered to win all free TUG membership giveaways!

    Visit TUG on Youtube!
  • TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $24,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!

    Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $24 Million dollars
  • Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free!

    Tens of thousands of subscribing owners! A weekly recap of the best Timeshare resort reviews and the most popular topics discussed by owners!
  • Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!

    All T-shirt options here!
  • A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!

Life just got hard

DH was moved to an acute rehab center today. It was our first choice and only 15 minutes away. Now life gets hard for him!!! Three hours of therapy a day, spread out of course. Nurse said it would wear him out.
 
Patri said:
DH was moved to an acute rehab center today. It was our first choice and only 15 minutes away. Now life gets hard for him!!! Three hours of therapy a day, spread out of course. Nurse said it would wear him out.
Click to expand...

Great news, so close to home.
now take care of yourself. :)
 
Patri said:
DH was moved to an acute rehab center today. It was our first choice and only 15 minutes away. Now life gets hard for him!!! Three hours of therapy a day, spread out of course. Nurse said it would wear him out.
Click to expand...
Happy for you, Patri. You will see how much he will improve doing the therapy. Your husband is quite young so that is even better. He will be tired and they will give him exercises too to do at home.
 
Patri said:
DH was moved to an acute rehab center today. It was our first choice and only 15 minutes away. Now life gets hard for him!!! Three hours of therapy a day, spread out of course. Nurse said it would wear him out.
Click to expand...

So happy for you!! Maybe you can both relax a little and concentrate on getting back to "normal". Just take care of yourselves ... one day at a time.
 
Glad to hear this news. Wishing you the best.
 
Just saw this thread. So sorry.
Glad to hear of your DH's on-going improvement
Just take it one day at a time.
Take care.
 
Good .. rehab will be more restful (quieter for sleep) than an acute care unit for you & your husband. He will have good days and some down days ... but let him adjust to the routine .. usually, it is a M-F insane schedule of rehab, lighter on Sat and just a little rehab on Sunday (a day of rest and family visits).

They have a routine - it works - try to get back to YOUR routine and sleep schedule. You (and the family), will be very busy when he comes home ... he will bitch and carry on about COMING HOME NOW ... resist and let him get accustomed to having to WORK his exercises ... this is way more important for his future (and yours!).

And if you feel you have to cry or wonder if this is as good as he get .... leave. He has his own (VERY BIG) doubts .. YOU are his strength. Don't coddle HIM ... tell him he can and MUST do it ... he is doing it for YOU as well as himself. You want him home and you need him ... but he has to be a partner, not your patient. And always tell him ... he can do it, the staff knows he can do it ... to man up and at least try & then try again.


PS I was driving by my heater contractor's favorite diner on Friday night - saw his work van there ... thought of you and your husband ... and said a prayer for both of your well beings. And hope next Spring, you all will be enjoying a Friday night dinner at your diner.
 
Today is my 1st day on tug for several days and I am so sorry to read your post.
I will pray for both you and your hubby for the long road ahead. You have gotten lots of advise re taking care of yourself. These will be difficult times for both of you.
 
Great that he will be close to home. I'm sure that he will improve a little each day. Keeping you both in my thoughts.
 
Another update

DH moved to a nursing home today for the next phase of rehabilitation. He got 41 days in the hospital acute rehab, because the insurance company allowed two extensions. The medical staff said that was almost unheard of, and we were thrilled.
He will start therapy tomorrow and is very motivated. He has a leg brace and can walk along a wall holding the rail. People right there to stop any fall, of course. His speech is very good. Sometimes he has to search for a word, but usually no one has trouble understanding him. He can lift his arm with effort.
He has a long way to go for mobility and fine motor skills. He would not be able to tend to his personal needs at home yet. But we are very optimistic. He has a good attitude, but I can see the nursing home could get depressing because permanent residents are there too.
We have all adapted to this new life. The community has been very caring. His employer is in the process of hiring his replacement. We know they can't wait until he fully recovers.
The application is in for SSDI. We have a long-term disability policy, but no short term coverage. Not a problem, because the medical bills have not been coming in yet! We have savings and will be fine in the gap.
So life is good in its own way now.
 
Glad all the prayers are working! Very good news! Hang tight. Everything is going to be alright.
 
Last edited:
Happy to hear that you recognize that this is your "new normal." Hopefully it will morph into a better "new normal" as time goes by.

Your husband sounds motivated. And with motivation, he will be able to come a long way.

To stave off the boredom, bring him movies (a cheap video player might help). You can get them for a couple dollars at Wally World if you don't have enough. Talking books are good, too. And don't forget little goodies like homemade cookies (use slice and bake if time is an issue. They will still be homemade and show the love in them).

When Jerry was in the hospital for weeks on end, he didn't like the food much. But he did love Strawberry milkshakes. So every day I brought him one. A real milkshake, not some of that extruded stuff. If there is anything special your dh likes, it could be "your thing."

Take a little time for you, too, or you'll burn out. Have another family member visit, and go get your hair done/cut, go out to lunch or dinner with family or a friend. You need a little "me time."

If you haven't, you might want to start a blog. They are easy, and also an easy way to keep all your family/friends/former coworkers up to date.

Take care,
Fern

Patri said:
DH moved to a nursing home today for the next phase of rehabilitation. He got 41 days in the hospital acute rehab, because the insurance company allowed two extensions. The medical staff said that was almost unheard of, and we were thrilled.
He will start therapy tomorrow and is very motivated. He has a leg brace and can walk along a wall holding the rail. People right there to stop any fall, of course. His speech is very good. Sometimes he has to search for a word, but usually no one has trouble understanding him. He can lift his arm with effort.
He has a long way to go for mobility and fine motor skills. He would not be able to tend to his personal needs at home yet. But we are very optimistic. He has a good attitude, but I can see the nursing home could get depressing because permanent residents are there too.
We have all adapted to this new life. The community has been very caring. His employer is in the process of hiring his replacement. We know they can't wait until he fully recovers.
The application is in for SSDI. We have a long-term disability policy, but no short term coverage. Not a problem, because the medical bills have not been coming in yet! We have savings and will be fine in the gap.
So life is good in its own way now.
Click to expand...
 
Fern Modena said:
When Jerry was in the hospital for weeks on end, he didn't like the food much. But he did love Strawberry milkshakes. So every day I brought him one. A real milkshake, not some of that extruded stuff. If there is anything special your dh likes, it could be "your thing."

Fern
Click to expand...
When my mother was fading, my sister would bring in cheesecake for her. Apparently her appetite was there for cheesecake - and Burger King. LOL.
 
So glad to hear you're both doing better!! Take care of yourselves.
 
My mom had a hankering for Carl's Famous Star Burgers, something she hadn't had in years. I used to visit every two weeks (lived 400+miles away) and always stopped to get her one on my way from the airport.

Fern

falmouth3 said:
When my mother was fading, my sister would bring in cheesecake for her. Apparently her appetite was there for cheesecake - and Burger King. LOL.
Click to expand...
 
Patri:

So very very happy to hear that things are 'getting better every day...'

But, PLEASE REMEMBER!!!!

You are now the foundation, the rock, the support for your DH and home. You MUST take some time for yourself, occasionally, to do nothing but breath, walk, think, exercise, sleep etc....

It may seem selfish now, but if you don't take an hour, here and there, to give your self relief, you will being to wear. I know. You have no idea how much release, energy and health you can get back from an hour of walking, crying, reading, music or just plain uninterrupted sleep.

You are the foundation. If you don't take care of yourself...including some small amount of personal time....you can not support the weight on your shoulders.

A big hug for you. When the time is right, consider a support group as well. Just like TUG, there a lots of people with knowledge, ideas and well-wishes just waiting to help you make your journey smooth and successful.

My very best wishes to you.
 
Thank you all, and you are right, it does take a toll. Just this week it really hit how much the daily visits wear me out. I am working full-time, and to fit that into my schedule, including travel time, means I lose a lot of the space I need just to be me.
I will figure it out, but know that guilt is always hovering.
 
Patri said:
Thank you all, and you are right, it does take a toll. Just this week it really hit how much the daily visits wear me out. I am working full-time, and to fit that into my schedule, including travel time, means I lose a lot of the space I need just to be me.
I will figure it out, but know that guilt is always hovering.
Click to expand...

You must allow your husband his space also .... being dragged, exercised and shaken all night for pills ... plus the stress of constant strangers .... he needs allow/down time to himself also. He has a cell phone - encourage him to TEXT you and YOU text him with a thought or picture. Face-to-face time is lessen. Cook/bake him a treat; visit with friends for NEW stories to share or to ask them to see or call him next week. You can NOT be his universe ... start building the 'friends' visiting/calling him now ... as leaving him ALONE all day while you work will drive your BOTH NUTS.

If he was 200 miles from home for the best medical care, YOU would still have to be working back home. No daily visits because of a long distance if that 200 miles separation was real --- but now, it has worn you down ... take some time to go slow.
 
DH came home today, almost four months to the day since his stroke. I so wanted him not to come in a wheelchair, but he did. However, we did not have to build a ramp. He can manage three shallow steps into the house.
He will go to a day program for out-patient therapy and socialization, but I see that even the hours from 3 p.m. until morning will be draining. Now I am in charge of his meds and insulin injections (did for the first time) and glucose monitoring. Dressing, toileting etc takes a long time.
I guess we will get into a routine. This will likely be the worst part of the journey. I hope he continues to improve. I will also hire home health aides if I just can't do it.
 
Hang in there you'll be rewarded with good karma. Remember to get support from support groups or other caregivers big hug

Sent from my Kindle...pls forgive errors and brevity
 
I found and hired companions to sit and watch my mom to give my dad those FREE hours to run earns and who appealed to HER interests (soap stories) - most days, Mom got to watch "her stories" with a woman who also has spent 20 years watching the SAME soaps. Dad "disliked" this less cute woman .... but she engaged Mom, reduced her anxiety levels at not finding the right words and time flew by. Dad got hours to be FREE (while doing chores or computer time).

When Dad was "losing it" after Mom passed away ... I hired a retired carpenter for 3-4 hours a day/3 days a week to repair & paint the trim at his house on the outside. The guy told me the JOB was taking HOURS longer as Dad would come outside and drag him around the property ... asking him to do other things. I told him repeatedly ... I know my Dad and just go with it ... easier to do that than to fight with him. Actually, THAT was the REAL REASON I was having him do the work ... to be Dad's friend, for Dad to engage, to relate and distract Dad. Any work that got done ... great, but Dad LOVED having him around. And the handiman was using this "job" to not be at his wife's beck & call after her stroke 2 years earlier. He needed "man" time. That was good for about 5+ months. :D
 
Last edited:
Patri said:
He will go to a day program for out-patient therapy and socialization, but I see that even the hours from 3 p.m. until morning will be draining. Now I am in charge of his meds and insulin injections (did for the first time) and glucose monitoring. Dressing, toileting etc takes a long time.
I guess we will get into a routine. This will likely be the worst part of the journey. I hope he continues to improve. I will also hire home health aides if I just can't do it.
Click to expand...

It's good that he is ambulatory enough to manage the steps into the house. As long as he feels that he is making progress, and gaining strength and abilities to do for himself, he will slowly improve some. Stroke victims often progress for as much as a year.

It appears that this is going to be the 'new normal' at least for a while. Rejoice in those hours when DH can be at 'day care'/rehab. It will give you some time to decompress. Get out of the house. Take in a matinee at the theater. Go to lunch with friends. Even spend some time with your TUG family!

If you can get the aides to do it, maybe even a timeshare vacation within driving distance. It will be a challenge, but well worth working toward. The planning part is often the part of vacations that is the most rewarding.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. A lot of us have had life's changes force us into different lives than we had planned. Many of us understand. I was a long-haul trucker when my mom had her first stroke. I got off the road and became her primary care-giver. It was a definite life change. You are strong and will persevere.

Keep up your good work.....

Jim
 
I've been away from TUG quite a bit and missed this thread. But my thoughts are with you Patri, hang in there because it sounds like things are going to get slowly better.

:)
 
By the time I got in bed, I realized I had not eaten a true supper. But DH slept well and our morning was good. When I checked his blood sugar last night it hurt. Today I did it right. He was ready for the bus pick-up to daycare. And I saw a yellow rose blooming in my garden, which I thought was done for the season due to our extended heat wave. So things are good.
 
Patri said:
By the time I got in bed, I realized I had not eaten a true supper. But DH slept well and our morning was good. When I checked his blood sugar last night it hurt. Today I did it right. He was ready for the bus pick-up to daycare. And I saw a yellow rose blooming in my garden, which I thought was done for the season due to our extended heat wave. So things are good.
Click to expand...

Nice on the rose.

:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top