You'll find once you're on island that you'll develop a new perspective about your time in Hawaii. When you're on vacation, you have to go and do something most every day, before the vacation ends. Once you live there, you'll find you can plan for events that might be weeks away. What you do "on the day" quickly boils down to how you feel, what the weather is doing, how crowded it will be, and so forth. It'll take time to adjust, but after that, it's all good. Give yourselves time.
As for neighborhoods, we've discussed that. Your "15 minute drive" thing may require some adjustment. That's more of a Mainlander attitude. You may find, once you're there, that certain parts of the island are more appealing places to live, but to live in those areas, the tradeoff is a longer commute. Note that working hours in Hawaii tend to start earlier in the day than on the Mainland, so quitting time also comes earlier. Being closer to the Equator, days and nights tend to be about the same length of time, year round. Hawaii also doesn't recognize Daylight Saving Time, so days and nights are pretty steady year round.
I'd suggest you explore the Windward side of the island. Kaneohe is a nice community at the end of the Likelike Highway, which dumps out very close in Honolulu ("Town") to where you'll be working. Kaneohe has a lot of condos and such, so might be simpler to find a place to live. Weather tends to be a bit cooler and rainier on the Windward side, compared to the Leeward side, which is drier and warmer. Easy beaches, good community shopping, and a more relaxing environment than Honolulu. (If you want big-city urban life, Honolulu is great. But if you want a somewhat slower pace, the Windward side might be a good place to look into.) Kailua is a nice option, too, but it may be a longer commute to get to where you work.
Dave