Hip replacement recovery time?

[rapmarks]

hmmm....surprised an 89 yo is getting a knee replacement, but I'm getting surprised about old people stuff every day.

I play bridge with ladies that are 99 and three 91 year olds. They drive and do lots of things

 

[klpca]

If your sister is the Medical POA, why isn't she the one to offer rehab etc? Glad you are reaching out for more insight on how to deal with this. You mention a SW at the facility where your mom lives now...where is that?

I guess as a mom I'm used to going to the doctor with the patient and advocating for them. In my recent accident, first, my son took the lead. Later when my sister was in town, she stepped up - went into the appointment with me, took notes, texted the P/T. She had done all this a few years ago with my mom and was terrific! We both agreed that sick people shouldn't go to the doctor alone. Like you said, when she's not feeling well...no wonder she might be confused. I know I was.

My sister lives out of town. I am realizing that we didn't think this through all the way, lol.

If you knew my mom it would make sense. She is fiercely independent. Sometimes it's fine. Other times, not so much. She refuses to enable location sharing with any of us because she thinks that we'll snoop on her. I have told her that our whole family location shares. I only use it when one of the out of town kids is coming to visit and I want to see how far away they are so I can estimate when they are arriving. The rest of the time I don't even think about it. She sees it as an invasion of privacy, we see it as a tool to figure out where she is when we can't find her.

Case in point: A few years ago (pre-2020), she got dehydrated while taking photos in the desert - by herself. She was able to get herself back to her car but she felt like she was going to pass out while she was driving. She pulled over and hung her arm out of the window. A good Samaritan pulled over and called 911. She went to the hospital in an ambulance. My brother lives 30 min away but she told the ER staff that her kids were "too busy to come to the ER" - absolutely not true. She was discharged after a few hours, checked herself into a hotel for the night, took an uber back to her car, and drove home. She never told any of us for over a year until she slipped up and mentioned the ambulance ride. None of us knew that she went to the desert at all. I am so thankful that someone helped her. She loves this story and thinks that it is funny. So that is the kind of irrational independence that we are dealing with. She has always been this way, but this one was the most dangerous. It is a challenge.

 

[clifffaith]

hmmm....surprised an 89 yo is getting a knee replacement, but I'm getting surprised about old people stuff every day.

My mom will be 90 in January. Her doctors want to do a knee replacement. She has opted to be in pain every day hobbling around with a bone on bone knee joint.

 

[SmithOp]

hmmm....surprised an 89 yo is getting a knee replacement, but I'm getting surprised about old people stuff every day.

I play golf with a 90 yr old that had both knees done, he still walks 18 holes with a push cart.

 

[Elan]

With respect to post surgery rehab, I was not really prescribed anything. When I went in for my post-op consult they looked at the X-ray, looked at the scar and basically said to go on with my life, while understanding that the recovery would have plateaus, ups and downs, etc. I presume that what is recommended post-op is dependent on how active they determine one to be pre-op. Oh, and knees are considerably different than hips when it comes to rehab.

 

[nomoretslt]

Just re-read my post from last night…….my husband had a false positive on his nuclear stress test, not a false negative. We had to schedule surgery that he thankfully ended up not needing….but he was literally five minutes away from getting a catherization. And we now know that we would not go to that hospital by choice. He had the hip surgery elsewhere and it was a very good experience (considering the circumstances).
we live in a very active “older” community and we were able to get input from lots of people that have had shoulders, knees and hips replaced. Very helpful when looking for a surgeon.

 

[Luanne]

Prior to my hip surgery my husband and I both went to a class on what to expect. It was very helpful. One thing we found out was that they put the surgical patients on blood thinners after the surgery. First dose was administered at the surgical center. After that, if you weren't already on blood thinners (which I am) you had to administer it yourself by a shot. First time I've been glad I was already on blood thinners.

Prior to the surgery I was in a lot of pain. My PA scheduled me for a shot, which I had. It wasn't cordisone, I'm not sure what it was. It was supposed to last several months. For me it lasted 2 weeks. After that I told my PA I could not stand the pain for the 3 months I would have to wait until I could have surgery so he prescribed Tramadol. That was a lifesaver. I also discovered post surgery that I am allergic to Oxycodone. I break out in a rash. Kind of funny story. When I first got the rash Steve thought we had bed bugs. He stripped the bed down completely, washed all of the bedding. Discovered it was what they call an "Oxy rash" when the nurse who was coming a couple of times a week looked at it. I guess if I'm going to be allergic to a medication this is a good one to be allergic to.

 

[Elan]

I also got the steroid shot as a first measure, with similar results. Felt great for about 2 weeks and then back to where I was.

 

[Luanne]

I also got the steroid shot as a first measure, with similar results. Felt great for about 2 weeks and then back to where I was.

I am still not sure what kind of shot I got. I had to go some special place to get it. What my PA said was that at least my having the shot we were sure my hip was the issue and needed to be replaced. I mean, I could even tell when the x-ray said bone on bone that I was going to need a replacement.

 

[Snazzylass]

My sister lives out of town. I am realizing that we didn't think this through all the way, lol.

If you knew my mom it would make sense. She is fiercely independent. Sometimes it's fine. Other times, not so much. She refuses to enable location sharing with any of us because she thinks that we'll snoop on her. I have told her that our whole family location shares. I only use it when one of the out of town kids is coming to visit and I want to see how far away they are so I can estimate when they are arriving. The rest of the time I don't even think about it. She sees it as an invasion of privacy, we see it as a tool to figure out where she is when we can't find her.

Case in point: A few years ago (pre-2020), she got dehydrated while taking photos in the desert - by herself. She was able to get herself back to her car but she felt like she was going to pass out while she was driving. She pulled over and hung her arm out of the window. A good Samaritan pulled over and called 911. She went to the hospital in an ambulance. My brother lives 30 min away but she told the ER staff that her kids were "too busy to come to the ER" - absolutely not true. She was discharged after a few hours, checked herself into a hotel for the night, took an uber back to her car, and drove home. She never told any of us for over a year until she slipped up and mentioned the ambulance ride. None of us knew that she went to the desert at all. I am so thankful that someone helped her. She loves this story and thinks that it is funny. So that is the kind of irrational independence that we are dealing with. She has always been this way, but this one was the most dangerous. It is a challenge.

Oh boy! Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Hopefully one day you all will be able to sit back and laugh about your independent, adventurous mother.

By the way, I do believe in spying on loved ones. LOL! Yes, let's keep track of one another. A friend sent me a photo of my mom & dad eating at a local eatery. I appreciated that! Her parents are long gone like what is true for so many of my friends.

I share an app with Son1 who lives in CA. He checks in at all the places he goes & I check in for what I'm doing. I can see daily what dog park he went to, etc. My other kids live around the corner from me. They honk their horn when I'm sitting on my front porch and they drive past. I can see into their kitchen window. haha, it's all in good fun.

 

[WinniWoman]

Oh boy! Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Hopefully one day you all will be able to sit back and laugh about your independent, adventurous mother.

By the way, I do believe in spying on loved ones. LOL! Yes, let's keep track of one another. A friend sent me a photo of my mom & dad eating at a local eatery. I appreciated that! Her parents are long gone like what is true for so many of my friends.

I share an app with Son1 who lives in CA. He checks in at all the places he goes & I check in for what I'm doing. I can see daily what dog park he went to, etc. My other kids live around the corner from me. They honk their horn when I'm sitting on my front porch and they drive past. I can see into their kitchen window. haha, it's all in good fun.

Our son would never go for something like that. He’s very secretive.

 

[amycurl]

Yes, let’s all look out for each other.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Snazzylass]

Our son would never go for something like that. He’s very secretive.

Yeah, I don't know. Every family is different. I've been flying solo since these boys were 4yo & 18 mos (and, believe me, I'm NOT advocating for that!)

For us, it's a game. We check in places we go. Obviously, my check-ins are a bit dull - mostly churches, libraries, some hiking. On the other hand, I enjoy seeing where my Son & DIL check in. They lead a rather glamour life IMO. When we are together, he checks us in. He reads my reviews, too. Once I took him to a favorite place in AZ and my cranky review of a previous visit popped up. Oops! We had a laugh about that!

For 10 years, I did not live in the same state as any family. I like to think my check-ins gave him a bit of comfort that Mom was okay.

And, it's a tech thing. That's his industry. He bought me my first iPhone, but I introduced him to Mac as his first computer (of which he was not a fan at the time) since it was Apple computers I started selling in 1981. Back in the day, we loved to sit side by side and geek it up!

 

[klpca]

Well, yesterday was (finally) the surgery date and everything is going as I expected. A total show. Luckily for everyone, she is still in the hospital. Surgery was scheduled for two hours and took three - I have no idea why because I forgot to ask the doctor. Speaking of the doctor, he is a really young guy, not yet board certified, and my mom is playing him like a fiddle. He was shocked when I told him of her actual plan for when she is discharged, which is that 10 of her friends in the independent living place have created a schedule where they will come in hourly to check on her. She will be alone at night because my brother refused to let my niece be the night time person (I agree with him). The doctor kept saying to me, that her "plan" wasn't appropriate for her. No kidding toots.

When I called the facility to set up in home care they could not find her POAs - medical or financial - so instead of being able to make decisions for her (because I was just going to hire the in-home care people for 3 days) I had to get her signature on a document and she refuses to hire anyone. PT recommended that she go into the rehab center that is located on her campus, and so did the doctor, but nope, she is a "strong and independent woman!" (she says this to anyone who comes into the room lol) and she doesn't need any help. She also keeps talking about how everyone is trying to game the Medicare system, and that the nurses, doctors, and even the physical therapist are a part of the conspiracy. So here we are. Luckily she couldn't even get out of bed to do PT yesterday because she is so dizzy and her blood pressure is so low, so for now she is safe. I am at my wits end with her. Even though she thinks that she is strong and independent, when things get messy, she expects someone else to pick up the pieces. I am still trying to figure out how to handle things, but I am not going to be spending the nights at her place. Ugh.

Oh well, I just need to decide where we need to end up and figure out how we are going to get there. I thought that I could do an end-run around her by hiring the in home care people, but without the facility being able to locate the POAs, that tactic failed. Being a rational person, I really dislike being held hostage by an irrational person with enough legal power to prevent me from making a sound decision.

 

[Shiba]

Do you have another copy of the POA for the facility?

 

[klpca]

Do you have another copy of the POA for the facility?

My mom has it. It is on the to-do list once she is up and about. I am positive they have a copy because she had to provide it before she could move in - I wasn't happy when they couldn't locate it. But my plan is for her to forward the entire document to me as I am listed as both the financial person, and third on the medical POA (but since I am in town, that one falls on my shoulders too). Not having a copy yesterday was quite inconvenient lol.

 

[clifffaith]

“She also keeps talking about how everyone is trying to game the Medicare system, and that the nurses, doctors, and even the physical therapist are a part of the conspiracy.”
Re: Gaming the system
Three midnights in the hospital gets her into the rehab facility at her home on Medicare’s nickel. If she is in a CCRC like we are, she is paying for the privilege of having onsite care available and should make use of their services. Reata Glen is really on top of things if residents share what’s going on (sounds like your mom is not sharing). If they know we are having surgery that requires rehab, they are sure to set aside a room for us in the nursing care building. When Cliff had a 3 am ambulance ride last month, his sister in TX was on the phone by 8am because RG had notified her. When he was released to come home after a day and a half, RG called to check with me for several days to be sure he was resting comfortably. She needs to take them into her confidence more than she is. And they are bound by privacy laws not to tell her neighbors what’s going on!

 

[klpca]

“She also keeps talking about how everyone is trying to game the Medicare system, and that the nurses, doctors, and even the physical therapist are a part of the conspiracy.”
Re: Gaming the system
Three midnights in the hospital gets her into the rehab facility at her home on Medicare’s nickel. If she is in a CCRC like we are, she is paying for the privilege of having onsite care available and should make use of their services. Reata Glen is really on top of things if residents share what’s going on (sounds like your mom is not sharing). If they know we are having surgery that requires rehab, they are sure to set aside a room for us in the nursing care building. When Cliff had a 3 am ambulance ride last month, his sister in TX was on the phone by 8am because RG had notified her. When he was released to come home after a day and a half, RG called to check with me for several days to be sure he was resting comfortably. She needs to take them into her confidence more than she is. And they are bound by privacy laws not to tell her neighbors what’s going on!

Yep, definitely not sharing with them. I agree about the 3 day thing, but she thinks they are trying to send her home early so that she *can't* go to the SNF. Lol.

At any rate she's having some unexpected issues so she's not going home today for sure, and unless there is a miraculous recovery, probably not tomorrow either. And then she will probably go to rehab afterall. Hopefully she will be more open with them going forward. I know that they are set up to help her, but she just hates needing help.

 

[Hindsite]

Thoughts are with you. I've got highly independent parents too and a particularly poor relationship with my mother. So far I haven't had to deal with the medical complexity you are, but it could happen any day ....

 

[rickandcindy23]

I just deal with a stepdad who is cranky but I blame the doctor for his inability to drive anywhere but the grocery store. I tell him, "The doctor said..." Just last week he went out for a drive and he drove for four hours. His daughter said he admitted to her that he was feeling pretty confused during the drive. I called him to come for dinner, and he said he was at the airport. That's 30 minutes from home. I think he lost his sense of direction and ended up way east. When he used to do his usual drive, it was always west of home, not east of home.

He won't even go to the senior center, which is about .4 mile from his house. Admittedly, I don't go there, either, but he should because he is alone a lot. We have littles to watch regularly, and we travel a lot. He needs to do something besides sit in his house. We have him over for dinner every night that we are home, but last night it wasn't even cold, and he decided not to come over because of weather. We made a new recipe we found, Philly Cheesesteak Casserole, and it was good. But the night before we had chicken enchilada soup, and Lowell doesn't like chicken much, so I think it was too much. He probably thought chicken was on the menu every night.

Rick told him that we have a birthday party on Sunday, a family thing on Monday, and we won't be around on Thursday, either. And today is very snowy and cold. The snow is deep. He should have come over last night.

I can imagine what work he would be should he require a knee or hip replacement. His daughters live in Georgia, he lives 9/10 mile from us. We are the ones that take care of him. He's 90 and is showing signs of dementia. The doctor did cognitive tests on him. He can still do math but the doctor asked him to name as many animals as he can in 1 minute, and he could only name four. He said dog and puppy, which are the same thing, donkey, cat and bunny. That was it.

He told me, "You cannot do better than me." I told him to time me, and I named 29 animals. I told him the animals in order as I see them on the Kilamanjaro ride at Animal Kingdom, I have been there so many times, plus I added in some domestic animals. He was impressed. He could have done that two years ago. He's slipping fast.

 

[sue1947]

PSA: for those looking at taking care of aging parents in the future, from somebody a little further along in the process:

As mentioned above, the power of attorney, both medical and financial is important. Take care of that while they are still competent. It's a difficult conversation with somebody who has always been independent, but an important item. It's needed even for things you might not think of, like cancelling her Costco membership.

Get your name as co-owner on financial accounts. This makes things so much easier when it comes time to pay for assisted living or dealing with maturing CDs, etc. Not always realistic though so:

Make sure that any phone number used for multi factor authentication is one you can access. NOT A LANDLINE. My mother has moved into assisted living but one mutual fund company won't change that land line number so I can manage her account. I've called and sent in a copy of the POA, but they have refused. It is a major PITA (and I don't mean the bread...).

 

[Sandi Bo]

PSA: for those looking at taking care of aging parents in the future, from somebody a little further along in the process:

As mentioned above, the power of attorney, both medical and financial is important. Take care of that while they are still competent. It's a difficult conversation with somebody who has always been independent, but an important item. It's needed even for things you might not think of, like cancelling her Costco membership.

Get your name as co-owner on financial accounts. This makes things so much easier when it comes time to pay for assisted living or dealing with maturing CDs, etc. Not always realistic though so:

Make sure that any phone number used for multi factor authentication is one you can access. NOT A LANDLINE. My mother has moved into assisted living but one mutual fund company won't change that land line number so I can manage her account. I've called and sent in a copy of the POA, but they have refused. It is a major PITA (and I don't mean the bread...).

Excellent advice! And it seem every institution is different a far as what they want. Getting authorization sooner, rather than later, will save you a lot of hassle! (Kind of a funny story? - I am POA, executor, etc, for a 'step-aunt'. Mostly because she has no one else. I told her I don't want any money, but please leave me enough to take care of things (like her funeral, and her husband and cousins and pets ashes that are in her closet, that kind of stuff). When my step-mother passed, the step-aunt went to the bank to add me to the account and take off my step-mother. Nope, they said she needed a death certificate and I needed to be there, so instead she made me a beneficiary. She didn't want to deal with it. Easier for her but GAH for me)!

And oh yeah, that multi-factor thing! I jumped through some hoops on that for my step-mother.

For a certificate of trust, a very studious person noticed that (their) notary forgot to stamp their signature when they notarized a document. Thank goodness it was for my signature and I could reprint the document and get it notarized properly. They had the audacity to request I get it notarized somewhere other than their bank since it was their bank requesting it (it could be construed as a conflict of interest). This stuff is hard/time consuming - and then there are people that make it harder!

 

[Sandi Bo]

Our son would never go for something like that. He’s very secretive.

When my son rode his motorcycle from Omaha to San Francisco, he agreed to put a tracking app on his phone. Then my husband would text him "What are you doing at McDonald's", that type stuff. You know the first thing that got removed once he got to San Francisco!

 

[Sandi Bo]

@klpca I hope thing are going well (or as well as possible). It's a lot for you (and of course your mother). How different people are, some so accepting they need help and some absolutely refusing. My wish is to make things easy for my kids (we'll see)! I was quite jealous of a SIL who's mother moved (to Austin) to be closer. When she did she chose to stop driving (and would say, well I won't know my way around). She was so logical and reasonable. I want to be like her. We'll see!

 

[rickandcindy23]

PSA: for those looking at taking care of aging parents in the future, from somebody a little further along in the process:

As mentioned above, the power of attorney, both medical and financial is important. Take care of that while they are still competent. It's a difficult conversation with somebody who has always been independent, but an important item. It's needed even for things you might not think of, like cancelling her Costco membership.

Get your name as co-owner on financial accounts. This makes things so much easier when it comes time to pay for assisted living or dealing with maturing CDs, etc. Not always realistic though so:

Make sure that any phone number used for multi factor authentication is one you can access. NOT A LANDLINE. My mother has moved into assisted living but one mutual fund company won't change that land line number so I can manage her account. I've called and sent in a copy of the POA, but they have refused. It is a major PITA (and I don't mean the bread...).

Yes, we did all of this, and this is great advice for anyone seeing a parent with the beginnings of dementia, especially. We have everything set up for Lowell, including a DNR, since he is 90, and resuscitation wouldn't save him, and why go through that. That was a tough conversation. He said he would want to be saved. Rick told him he wouldn't survive the trauma of resuscitation.

My real father I have only known for four months. I am in no positiion to insert myself in his life like that. I hope my siblings will. He will be 90 in March.