Destination Weddings

[GeraldineT]

Just curious as to your thoughts on destination weddings.

Before hubby and I were married and had kids it was no big deal as we would try to incorporate into a vacation. If the wedding was in FLL maybe stay there a few days and then a cruise or head to Miami. Or just a long weekend. 2 jobs, 2 salaries and no kids made it a ton easier.

Now it seems that they have gotten even more popular but with a family of 5 (1 in school) and hubby having a new job with a bit less vacation time I dread getting the invites. Especially when they are at a Sandals, Club Med type all-inclusive place which means no chance of driving or using the timeshare. Plus my sons passport needs to be renewed (another expense).

I understand that they are nice and probably less expensive for the couple but its not always that easy especially when its family (niece, sisters second marriage).

Would love to know I am not the only one who hates these!

 

[spirits]

Only had 1 invite

Perhaps I am lucky but most of my friend's children had weddings either in town or reasonably close. Last year I had an invite for a wedding in Mexico but since I am a teacher and the wedding was in June I could not go. (For those of you not in teaching I would have had to apply to my school board for permission to leave my classroom, and lose 7/200 of my paycheck since I cannot make the time up. Way too expensive and they would not have given me permission anyway) So I was more than happy to let this opportunity pass. I love the bride (I watched her grow up next door and sent a gift but could not attend)
To get back to the original question, I do not like destination weddings. My husband would hate being on a beach all week and my grown kids could not get time off work to attend. It should be for family and very close friends with perhaps a house party later back at home for friends to have an opportunity to share the couple's joyful occasion. Sort of like a post shower with smaller type gifts the norm.

 

[hypnotiq]

Destination Weddings is a way to keep your wedding small while not offending anyone by 'not inviting them'.

This is at least what I've been told by friends who have had destination weddings. They wanted a small wedding but not didn't want to offend family and friends by not inviting them. So they have it as a Destination Wedding, knowing full well the people they truly care about (close friends/parents) can make it and a large % of the people won't be able to make it, thus solving the "not invited" problem.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Both of my married children had their weddings as destination weddings, on St. Martin and the other on Grand Cayman.

It worked very well. None of the children or their spouses had any interest in planning a formal wedding. It was strictly limited to immediate family (and a couple who were very best friends in the case of my son's wedding).

We used timeshares to handle most of the accommodations. The children considered that the parents presence at the wedding was our present to them.

The overall costs were vastly cheaper than a regular wedding.

In addition, in the case of my daughters wedding, her husband had family coming from Europe and it was quite easy (and cheaper) for them to get to SXM via Paris.

Also in both cases the time at the destination was the only chance that we he had to meet our new in-law's family. Having five or six days of on and off activities as a group was a good way to get acquainted.

 

[Passepartout]

Fortunately we are beyond the age of getting many of these invites. We had one- in Scotland and it was sort of like Hypno said. This kept it to immediate family and no others.

I take the 'my presence or my presents' attitude.

Jim

 

[Karen G]

It should be for family and very close friends with perhaps a house party later back at home for friends to have an opportunity to share the couple's joyful occasion.

That's exactly what our daughter and son-in-law did with their wedding on the beach in Cabo. It worked out splendidly! The week we got back we had a Mexican buffet poolside at our country club for their friends and extended family members who didn't go to the wedding. They showed a beautiful music video that the excellent Cabo videographers had put together. Their wedding was hassle-free with no drama, and we all loved it!

 

[nazclk]

Wedding

My daughter got married in Cabo and it was great. Sunset Beach did a wonderful job. It was small and cozy and everything went great.

 

[geekette]

Not a fan. At least, not for first marriages.

I wanted all my friends and relatives at my wedding. Had I gone "destination", very few would have been able to make it. I think it makes things more of a financial and logistical nightmare for the guests and wedding party.

If I were to have a second marriage, I might go destination, especially if I could foot the bill for those I really wanted present. My boyfriend eloped first time, so if we end up tying the knot, I'm certain his mother would never forgive us if she didn't get to be at our wedding. He's an only child, which I think makes a difference. Who wouldn't want to see their children married??

 

[Passepartout]

When DW and I had ours in Scotland at a castle, we brought all our surviving parent (only her dad) and all the kids and their significant others. A dandy affair with me in a kilt and a piper and all.

Jim