This could be said about any airline rule. In looking at any single case, it may seem so easy to just make an "accomodation", and change the rules for a single passenger.
What of passengers who paid for coach start sitting down in first class because they have a bad back, or some otber medical condition, or any other reason that the masses feel it would be the "right thing to do?" If these people refuse to move and make a scene should we give in them too?
I don't agree with your position on this example. There is a difference between trying to manipulate the circumstances to get a free upgrade vs having one of your children sit in a seat you paid for. They weren't asking for anything more than they paid for unlike trying to get bumped up a class.
I get it that for whatever reason, (most likely to save the fee if there is one for the name change) the family didn't properly put the name of the child they intended to sit in the oldest boys seat once he was no longer going on that flight. If they had done that none of this would have turned out the way it did. We could leave it at that a point the only finger at them.
I have never had anyone check my ticket once on the plane to confirm I was sitting in my assigned seat. I understand they could but they have never. There has never been a need to. My wife and I have changed seats depending on the day and the mood we were in. I have changed seats with my kids so one could sit with their mother. I understand that may be different here as the airline most likely put someone else in that seat when the person that was appointed to it didn't show up. Delta stated this was not an overbooked flight but that could mean a number of things.
However, once that error was made, whether intentionally or not, the airline compounded things by not doing what they could to address the issue.
There are many questions that no one who wasn't there can answer but using the video as it is the only thing we the general public have, Delta did not handle this correctly after it started to go wrong.
1) The video starts with security on the plane, so not sure of the conversation leading up to that but if the family was planning on making a scene from the start why not post the entire footage?
2) To have an employee threaten to have their children removed from them because they were disputing whether or not they were entitled to that seat, was way way over board. I'm pretty sure no airline trains their employees to escalated these types of issue to "your going to lose your children"!
3) If the real issue wasn't an overbooked plane and the need for that seat, why then was there no effort to have the family proper change the name on the seat, cost or not cost and go from there? The delay of doing such couldn't be a real factor as the attendant stated multiple times, they were prepared to stay there as long as it takes.
4) Although we should all know the rules and regulations when we fly, the expectation would be most certainly that someone working for the airline/airport would most definitely know the rules and regulations. The is not doubt that was not the case here with the misleading comments about the child not being allowed to be in car seat! At 4:17 of the video the female attendant states "he can't occupy a seat because he is 2 year or under".
5) How did the parents get past the gate with 2 car seats? Would the gate attendant not count each car seat to ensure there were seats for those?
6) From what I could tell no threats (other then in the beginning about going to jail and taking the children away) or any real tempers escalated in the conversation so no need to assume that the safety of the flight was at risk. Why then once the father stated he would just have the child sit on their lap, did the attendant not allow that?
Unfortunately, we all know how this ends up. Instead of dealing with it then and there, Delta will deal with it after and most likely will cost much more than it should have.
For clarity, I get it that the family didn't do want they should have to avoid this whole thing but once that horse was out of the barn, the airline did little to get it back in other than close and lock the gate making sure it couldn't.