Another sad story

[sfwilshire]

I woke up to a terrible story on the news Saturday morning and it just gets worse every day. I didn't know any of the people involved (it was about an hour from my house) but it still haunts me. Four young girls (ages 15 and 16) were all cheerleaders and attended a ballgame near our home. I don't know if they drove to the ballgame, but they went to the birthday party of another cheerleader afterwards. At nearly midnight, they were driving home and hydroplaned on the highway, flipping the Chevy Tracker over on the side.

The weather was truly bad Friday night here. The first rain in weeks and it poured. I've been on the curvy desolate road they were on on early foggy mornings and I wouldn't be excited about driving it in the rain at midnight. They crashed into another vehicle. Three of them died immediately. Two of them were sisters. The fourth died the next day in the hospital. In the other car, the driver was critically injured, his wife died, and his daughter-in-law miscarried her baby at 33 weeks.

Every detail that comes out just makes it more haunting. None of the four were wearing seatbelts. The graduated license laws in this state made it illegal for the 16yo to drive with more than one passenger and after 11PM.

Someone used an ATV to drag the suv away from the other car because it was in flames. Apparently the girls were badly burned, because they were waiting on dental records to make at least one identification.

This is breaking my heart. I just can't imagine the pain the families are experiencing, particularly the parents who lost two daughters.

I wanted to call my kids at college and say "see ... this is why I was a mean mother". I never allowed them to ride with other teens or drive with them in the car. My son didn't even get his license until age 18 (I was going to allow it at 17 1/2 but he elected to wait so he didn't have to get a graduated license). My husband and I spent countless hours picking up our kids in the middle of the night from various functions. I know we could have wrecked too, but I always felt better doing it. One of the worse moments of my life was when I woke up at 4:30A to go to work and found my daughter not home yet (she was 16 or 17 and working at Dollywood). I finally got her on the phone and she had just worked very late. Thank God!

Sheila

 

[riverdees05]

I saw that on the news and it is really terrible. My prayers go out to their families and friend.

 

[AKE]

Its tragic but at the same time where were the parents of those teens? Who allowed them to take the car? Who allowed them to get their licences? I know that many will not agree with me but parents are as much to blame for tragedies of this kind as are the kids. It is much tougher saying 'no' to your child than letting them have what they want for whatever reason.

When our kids were growing up we had very strict rules... all mine got their beginners as soon as they turned 16 but none were allowed to go for their driving exam until they had 'passed' my test and they all can tell you that my test (both behind the wheel and overall maturity) was a lot stricter than any road exam. Interestingly the age at which each were allowed to try their road test ranged from 17 to almost 19. After they had passed their road test there were strict rules on the usage of the cars... rules such as the car had to be in by midnight - with very few exeptions (even when they were in university) AND until they went to university they were allowed to only have 1 friend in the car. Today my kids tell me that I was absolutely right in what I did (although at the time they all fought me tooth and nail) and that they will have the same rules for their kids.

This is a wakeup call not just for teenagers but also even MORE for parents... you are in charge so set the rules! In our house their was a sayiing "my house... my rules.... your house... your rules". If my kids didn't like the rules they were free to go out on their own - none did and they have all thanked my a number of times that I did not give in to them despite their pleading at the time.

 

[IreneLF]

I saw this too and thought of you because I know it's in your general area.

We had an accident near here 2 years ago, 4 boys, speeding at 2PM just after school let out; they died instantly as did the school van driver whose van they hit. (her passenger was OK)
It's haunted me ever since, especially as my DS and I went through the spot 2x a week and saw the memorials and we know kids who were in school with the boys.

Every detail made it worse, bright talented kids, football captain and teammates, community volunteers etcetcetc; not that being any lesser human beings would have made it easier, just shows death does not
discriminate and being bright doesn't always equate to not speeding at 85 mph on a curve, not wearing seatbelts and not driving more friends than allowed.
I've tried to use it as an object lesson.

 

[laura1957]

I have heard many people complain about those roadside memorials - but personally every time I pass one with my daughters (who are 23 and 18) we remember what happened, and how/why, in those spots.

One friend of theirs was 17, a senior in HS. This beautiful sweet girl was in my home many times - she was in the backseat of a car when the driver tried to make it across the highway - misjudging the distance of oncoming traffic. She was killed instantly. 3 others were critically injured.

5 boys they knew from the area (between 18-21 years old) were killed a couple years ago, all had been drinking except one. He lived next door to us for years when my girls were younger. They also plowed into another vehicle and killed an innocent 2 year old little boy.

Another girl they knew from little league was killed nearby after being out with friends - she was only 17. It happened late on a rainy night, coming around a bend right at her house. Her parents heard the crash and were the first on the scene.

They are ALL reminders every time we pass - they are to call me no matter WHAT time of the night if their "designated" driver has had anything to drink, or they feel unsafe with the driver for any reason at all.

 

[swift]

Not sure how it is in other states but here in California kids are given a Provisional Drivers License until they are 18. With this license they can not drive between 11PM - 5AM with out a licensed driver over the age of 25 in the car. Nor are they allowed to drive with passengers under the age of 20 until they have had their license for 1 year. They are pretty strict about it here. The police do several spot checks.

 

[sfwilshire]

One of the worse moments of my life was when I woke up at 4:30A to go to work and found my daughter not home yet (she was 16 or 17 and working at Dollywood). I finally got her on the phone and she had just worked very late. Thank God!

Sheila

After I thought about this, I realized it was 3AM and not 4:30. I don't think even I would have believed she was still working that late. She was a group leader and they often worked very late after the park closed. She had a near miss or so with other autos, but thankfully never ran into a deer on the way home in the wee hours.

Sheila

 

[sfwilshire]

A couple of years ago two girls from my kids' high school were driving on a curvy road. Almost in the same spot that I wrecked about 20 years ago (in the very beginning of a snowfall) the driver tried to adjust her radio and left the road. I was lucky and the fence stopped me because I was driving slowly. Their car went through the fence and down the hill. The driver survived but the passenger was killed. They did a nice memorial garden for her at the high school. I hope kids think about why it's there when they see it.

I always tried to keep my kids from talking on their cell phones while driving, but I haven't been very successful with that. I wish the state would ban it while driving like others have. I can't really take away the phones since both are away at college and neither has a landline.

Sheila

 

[pammex]

This is terribly tragic. I agree kids need rules, but I also think not fair to put more guilt and blame on the parents. This type of scenario could happen to any of us, adults or teens or what have you. You can have all kinds of rules but you can't be with them every minute and well do not kid yourself and think the kids always follow your rules when you are no there....they ( the rules ) help but it does not mean nothing will occur and they will always follow them.

I guess those of us who have been kept safe should thank our lucky stars, and those who have not, lets not put more burden, guilt and blame on them. The loss of a family member is no time to point fingers.

My heart goes out to all the families and loved ones....

To the poster regarding the memorials.....this is common practice here in Mexico and a true reminder of how precious life is. We make note of each and every one and feel they give tribute to a life taken early.

 

[frenchieinme]

At nearly midnight, they were driving home and hydroplaned on the highway, flipping the Chevy Tracker over on the side.
Sheila

This is a tragic event. Unfortunately, in order to hydroplane there has to be much speed involved in order to propel the mass of a vehicle up from its ground gravity point and into the air. Going a posted speed (especially within city limits) makes hydroplaning nearly impossible. The young driver in this case showed poor driving judgement and others including herself paid the ultimate price. Why???

I taught a high school where it seemed every other year this event occured. It has occured in the past, will occur today somewhere in the USA and will also in the future when young drivers make that unfortunate bad decision while driving.

frfenchieinme

 

[AKE]

i beg to differ but parents are to blame. I dont think that kids that age have the resources to buy cars or get access to a car without a parent's assistance. Many parents give in to their kids without thinking of the consequences. Its time for parents to wake up - 15 and 16 year olds do not have the reasoning ability and logic of adults and as such still need to be monitored. Yes you cant track them all the time but not allowing them access to cars, and especially at night, will help prevent these types of tragedies.

 

[janapur]

i beg to differ but parents are to blame. I dont think that kids that age have the resources to buy cars or get access to a car without a parent's assistance. Many parents give in to their kids without thinking of the consequences. Its time for parents to wake up - 15 and 16 year olds do not have the reasoning ability and logic of adults and as such still need to be monitored. Yes you cant track them all the time but not allowing them access to cars, and especially at night, will help prevent these types of tragedies.

Monitor, yes. However, my 19 yr old drives more deliberately and cautiously than his folks (yikes that's me) because of his lack of age and experience. He is a worry wort by nature, but he is constantly correcting my husband and me for even the smallest rules of common sense while driving. My point is, it's not just the youngins we need to look out for. You should try riding with my grandparents- it's frightening!

Thankfully, the price of gas has kept everyone at home more. My son has always been told to politely decline when asked for rides from other teens using exactly what my parents told me- whenever you feel pressured to do something that makes you uncomfortable, make your parents the bad guys. I'd rather be "thrown under the bus" figurativley than him literally.

Jana

 

[Zac495]

In some cases one might put some blame on parents, but not most. No child (IMHO) should be allowed to drive at 15. I don't want my kids to drive before 17 - I hope they fail their tests and don't drive until 18. My stepdaughter (20)drives -she's pretty good - but it still makes me nervous.

Parents need to talk to their kids about everything- the dangers of drinking and TEXTING while driving, calling home for a ride even if they were drinking, etc etc. If parents do their jobs, they can't be blamed for a tragedy - even if their child was at fault. Kids are going to feel pressured by other kids - and it's a fact of life.

Just yesterday I was talking to my son about never getting in a car with more than one other kid. I told him he didn't need to worry about sounding like a nerd - I forbid it - and if he were ever caught, he'd lose every game system he owns. He appreciated being forbidden. While with me, he's smart and logical - as most kids probably are. Once in a group, they need to look cool - and face it (they think) - come on - it couldn't happen to THEM.

No parent can even face the thought of the loss of a child. I can barely type the words.

 

[Sandy VDH]

We had something similiar a few years back when I lived in Flower Mound, TX. 4 in the car and the driver was 15. Car jumped the curve then hit a tree and broke into flames. 3 died and the 1 survivor was the twin sister of the other girl in the car that did die. Sister did have burns trying to get others out of the car but seatbelts prevented any easy extraction.

I woke up when 3 air ambulances landed about 1/4 mile from my house at 2 am in the morning.

So what do you do with a 15 driving. Apparently he took the car with out parental knowledge.

 

[ciscogizmo1]

I agree... parents these days are WAY too trusting. For example, last night with another Mom I went trick or treating with my dd and her friends. We had 4 girls and one brother. One girl Mom had a broken foot so, we took her dd. The other girl's Mom just doesn't care. So, we were trick or treating when one of the girls' brother (who is 20 years older) drove up and wanted to see his sister in costume. So, he chatted and then, said told us that we were taking cousin Johnny with us (who was about 5 years old). I'm thinking okay... these parents don't know us from Adam other than we are friends with her dds Mom. I really thought it was strange. I was quite annoyed that a parent would do that. Anyways... I really think parents these days are on a ME type attitude and don't care who and what their kids do...

 

[Patri]

A few years ago a 15-year-old on the next block started taking her mom's car when the mom wasn't home, and would drive down our deadend street with a bunch of friends along. She would go too fast on our narrow street, which has lots of children, and the teens would be laughing and hollering out the car windows. The neighbors complained to each other and that was it. I finally called the girl's mom. She was sort of embarrassed/angry to hear from me, but the girl never drove down our street again.

 

[sfwilshire]

I've been tempted a couple of times to follow the kids home that drive recklessly on our road and have a word with their parents. So many parents are uncaring these days that I've never had the guts to do it. If one is ever killed or injured, I'll be sorry that I didn't. One young girl drives about double the safe speed on our narrow curvy road.

I did have an encounter with one of them that at least alerted her parents to a potential problem. The speed limit is 45, which is a little fast for wet conditions on some parts. I was following another car at a safe speed on a rainy day and the young girl behind me was following me much too closely. The front car slowed to make a turn, I slowed as a result, and the youngster plowed right into my back bumper. There wasn't a ton of damage, but it turns out her insurance was expired because of non-sufficient funds when the auto-payment came due. In this state, they're supposed to pull your driver's license if you're uninsured, but I suspect she wiggled out of it somehow. Her father finally paid the damage out of pocket. Hope he make her repay him.

Sheila

 

[sfwilshire]

This is a tragic event. Unfortunately, in order to hydroplane there has to be much speed involved in order to propel the mass of a vehicle up from its ground gravity point and into the air. Going a posted speed (especially within city limits) makes hydroplaning nearly impossible. The young driver in this case showed poor driving judgement and others including herself paid the ultimate price. Why???

I'm no scientist, but I've felt my own vehicles "let loose" a couple of times when they hit standing water and it's a terrible feeling. As a result, I always slow down in the rain and, if I know it's going to rain, I usually drive my AWD Subaru Outback instead of my Element because it feels more solid on the wet roads. I still remind my oldest DS, who will be 21 in December, to slow down on wet streets.

I haven't been up there in more than a year, but I suspect the speed limit on the curvy two-lane road where the cheerleaders wrecked is 55. It's the only link between the interstate and a reasonably large town up near the Big South Fork Natural Area. No way I'd drive it that speed in the rain and that's assuming they were driving the speed limit. If they weren't wearing their seatbelts, who knows what other rules they were breaking.

I always told my kids, even after they were away at college, not to start the car unless their passengers were belted. It was suggested they put out any that wouldn't comply. Imagine my surprise when I saw the ticket DS got for driving without a seatbelt. He had lots of excuses, but it goes to show that no parent is immune from having their rules broken.

Sheila

 

[Jbart74]

Teens are able to drive responsibly.

Ok, I'm 34 years old and started driving legally when I was 15 in Pennsylvania. I never had an accident, never got pulled over, and never killed anyone or anything other than one unlucky squirrel in Bucks County in 1989. I was not a model teen. I drank a little, did a few drugs, and went to a party every now and then.

There are many accidents in this country every day, month and year. Many involve teens. But I have to take exception to those who have stated that all young adults under the age of 18 should not be allowed to drive. Actually, I find it interesting that so many Tuggers, most of whom began driving at 16 or younger, have not spoken up about this.

The kids today are no different than you all were when you started driving. Statistics actually show that three to four times as many teens drove drunk in the 60's and early to mid 70's than do now. And yes, many thousands were involved in fatal accidents... even back then. You didn't hear about every accident because there was no media saturation, no internet, no instant media gratification. Sorry. You just didn't hear about it.

There are also thousands of fatal accidents every year caused by elderly drivers who have slower reflexes than inexperienced teens. So get ready to give up your licenses after you hit 65 years. What comes around does indeed go around.

I do grieve for all families who have or will lose members to auto accidents. I just wanted to add a bit of reason to the discussion. It sucks when kids die in cars. It hurts. It's not fair to blame the parents. It's not fair to blame the kids. It might be fair to blame the society of the USA that we protect so absolutely? Who knows.... It basically just sucks and is extremely sad.

John B.

 

[AKE]

I bet that your views will change re under 18 year old drivers when your kids get to be near that age. Yes there were a lot of accidents and deaths years ago when us 'old tuggers' were young but that doesnt make it right even by today's standards. Kids will bow to peer pressure, to being one of the gang, etc etc and 16, 17, 18 etc year olds still do not have the reasoning abilities or intellingence of adults. I raised 3 sons - all 'good' kids who didn't do drugs, drive drunk, etc etc BUT they still did stupid things. Luckily they never got hurt in the process but this is not always the case. I have no problem letting teenagers drive as long as the rules are strict AND they loose the keys to the car with the first mistake. Some years ago my 19 year old got a speeding ticket -as I was paying the insurance he lost the car keys for 6 months AND he had to get himself out of the ticket mess. (cost him $350 and he was making $6/hour). After driving his bicycle for 6 months he learned his lesson - not even a parking ticket and now he's near 30 AND he tells me that he will do the same thing with his kids should they ever get even as much as a parking ticket ... -

 

[Zac495]

Ok, I'm 34 years old and started driving legally when I was 15 in Pennsylvania. I never had an accident, never got pulled over, and never killed anyone or anything other than one unlucky squirrel in Bucks County in 1989. I was not a model teen. I drank a little, did a few drugs, and went to a party every now and then.

There are many accidents in this country every day, month and year. Many involve teens. But I have to take exception to those who have stated that all young adults under the age of 18 should not be allowed to drive. Actually, I find it interesting that so many Tuggers, most of whom began driving at 16 or younger, have not spoken up about this.

The kids today are no different than you all were when you started driving. Statistics actually show that three to four times as many teens drove drunk in the 60's and early to mid 70's than do now. And yes, many thousands were involved in fatal accidents... even back then. You didn't hear about every accident because there was no media saturation, no internet, no instant media gratification. Sorry. You just didn't hear about it.

There are also thousands of fatal accidents every year caused by elderly drivers who have slower reflexes than inexperienced teens. So get ready to give up your licenses after you hit 65 years. What comes around does indeed go around.

I do grieve for all families who have or will lose members to auto accidents. I just wanted to add a bit of reason to the discussion. It sucks when kids die in cars. It hurts. It's not fair to blame the parents. It's not fair to blame the kids. It might be fair to blame the society of the USA that we protect so absolutely? Who knows.... It basically just sucks and is extremely sad.

John B.

John,
I do agree that we were rotten (actually, I was good until I went to college - then I became rotten). I do agree that the elderly can be a huge challenge to the roads. That said, I will do anything - including vote for kids not to be allowed to drive until 18 - to keep my own children safe. I know they could die with me behind the wheel. I know all of the statistics. But ANYTHING I can do to lesser the chance of the unspeakable...

 

[sandesurf]

My 2 cents...
I totally agree that not all teens are troubled drivers, and that some elderly should have their licenses revoked. I got my license at 16 and am lucky to be here due to my poor judgments, BUT... There are SO many more drivers on the road today than there were just a few short years ago (When my 24 yr. old started driving). More drivers equal more potential accidents due to crowded roads. I'm all for keeping my 12 yr. old from driving until he turns 18. No matter how conscientious and safe he may drive, there are just too many others on the road who are idiots.

 

[Mel]

My 2 cents...
I totally agree that not all teens are troubled drivers, and that some elderly should have their licenses revoked. I got my license at 16 and am lucky to be here due to my poor judgments, BUT... There are SO many more drivers on the road today than there were just a few short years ago (When my 24 yr. old started driving). More drivers equal more potential accidents due to crowded roads. I'm all for keeping my 12 yr. old from driving until he turns 18. No matter how conscientious and safe he may drive, there are just too many others on the road who are idiots.

I agree. Not only are there more drivers, but there are more distractions as well. I've seen adults with poor judgement too - puting on lipstick using the rearview mirror whie on the Washington DC Beltway, turning to talk to the backseat passenger while driving 50 MPH, talking on the cell phone while driving through the drop-off lane at our school (not to mention all the other issues I see every morning when walking my girls to school).

While I agree it is a burden to have to take our kids everywhere, I would rather they learn to ride a bike, walk, or ask me for a ride. Yes, I also know they have to get their experience somewhere, so the provisional licenses are a good thing - extend their learning period beyond the 3-6 months they drive with a learner's permit.

Our town had 2 such accidents last year, one absolute fault of the teen driver, the other not the driver's fault, but a more experienced (and non-distracted) driver would have avoided the accident.

The first one, a 16YO honor student at a local private school was driving a 2-seat sports car, neither he nor his TWO passengers (one in the hatchback area) were wearing seatbelts, it was 1 AM on a road that kids often try to get airborne. He was speeding, and lost control, slamming into a tree. His parents have filed suit against the town, because they believe this road is "dangerous," though the speed limit is actually 5MPH lower than the traffic engineers have deemed safe, and IS safe when driving that speed. After all, he was a "good kid" and it must be somebody else's fault (well, yeah, maybe it was their fault for buying a 2-seat sportscar for a 16YO).

The other was at night on a state highway, 2 lanes each direction. Nobody in the RH land, a driver coming the other direction swerved into the lane of the teen driver - who had time to swerve to the unoccupied RH lane, but was distracted, and didn't react quickly enough. Witnesses driving behind her said they was plenty of time and room to get out of the way - but she was apparently busy talking to her passengers (again, multiple passengers who shouldn't have been in the car under her provisional license).