Good-bye Dear House...

[Zac495]

Dad is settled in the assisted living. Mom found a gorgeous apartment - not where he lives. She's so happy. He's okay...

And the house is officially gone January 3rd. I moved in when I was 5... many moons ago. The house holds so many memories - good and bad. I was married here (twice) And so it goes. Bittersweet.

They bought it in 1964 for 34K. 6000 sq feet and 3 floors.

Good-bye dear house. Good-bye youth. Good-bye Mom and Dad in your life as you knew it. Hello to a new life for them - the good and the bad. Hello to the awareness that things change. Enjoy today. Remember yesterday. Appreciate everyone who matters.

 

[pianodinosaur]

What a lovely home!! Thank you for the photograph. I am glad your mother and father are doing well.

 

[timeos2]

Nice looking place. Years from now you'll return one day to look at it & have all those wonderful memories return. You sound like you (and your parents) are adapting well. That's great. Things do change and be thankful life goes on. Best wishes to you your family.

 

[artringwald]

In 2003 our mom and dad died within three weeks of each other. They were both 83 and both died in the home where they had lived for 46 years. Losing them was a great loss, but it also made us sad to have to sell the house. We all moved to different states, and the house was the gathering place. It seems like we just haven't been able to get together like we used to do.

 

[Weimaraner]

I understand how you feel. I still have dreams of going back to the home I was raised in. My mom just passed away after an accident a couple weeks ago and am dreading going thru her personal items and selling her home. A home holds so many memories.

 

[Patri]

What a beautiful house. I can't imagine living in 3000 sq. ft. Didn't you get lost? Or when you needed to hide, I bet you found places.
My parents sold my childhood home years ago, but I drive by every time I'm in town. The house was a home only because of the memories of family there. I'm sure if I went inside now, it would feel strange, belonging to someone else.

 

[irishween]

Before it is out of your hands go back and visit. Write your name and date and maybe a message on a wall or floor. Not something that would be obvious, perhaps the attic or basement. Eventually the new owners will find it and have a piece of history that belongs to the house. When we remodeled our kitchen I wrote the names of my parents who had the house built. Then I wrote my families names. We bought the house from my mom. Who knows how long it will stay in our family - my son(12) insists he will buy it from us.

 

[akp]

I'm so sorry.

I understand how you feel. I still have dreams of going back to the home I was raised in. My mom just passed away after an accident a couple weeks ago and am dreading going thru her personal items and selling her home. A home holds so many memories.

Sorry to hear about your loss!

 

[MuranoJo]

Ellen,
Your post brought a tear to my eye, as I so miss my Mom and Dad this time of year. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Irishween had an interesting suggestion which I'd recommend.

We moved many times through my school years (I attended 8 different schools in 12 years). Even as a young child who didn't know of time capsules or whatever they're called, I always wanted to leave my mark behind.

Typically this involved burying something in the yard or near a structure. I'd leave poems, or my favorite agate or other local 'find.'

Besides my memories, there's still a part of me there in those old grounds.

 

[Timeshare Von]

Ellen as commented by the others here, I'm happy to hear that your parents are adjusting to their new living arrangements. I can appreciate that it's been a challenge for everyone in your family. God Bless you all!

p.s. You may want to get some older family photos and take some "in time" pics . . . you know the ones where you old the old photo in the frame as you take a photo of the house today with the photo of the house from the past. There is a whole website full of these, but I can't remember what they call them. (Sorry I'm not explaining this very well)

 

[artringwald]

Before it is out of your hands go back and visit. Write your name and date and maybe a message on a wall or floor. Not something that would be obvious, perhaps the attic or basement. Eventually the new owners will find it and have a piece of history that belongs to the house.

I did this at DW's suggestion, and I'm really glad I did. When I was in town last June I stopped by the house to see if the current owners wanted copies some pictures I found of the house when it was being built in 1957. He knew my name from the message I left on a rafter in the attic. I had a nice conversation with him and he game me a quick tour of the kitchen remodel they did. I was happy to find out they were taking good care of the house. I would also suggest taking as many pictures as you can inside and outside to help bring back the memories in years to come.

 

[Icc5]

Where my wife grew up

A couple of years ago my wife's father passed away, her mother had passed away about 5 years earlier. The house was left to her and her sister. We had a house just up the street from there and her parents had helped raise our children since they were retired and we worked. My wife and our kids all went to the same grammar school and junior high thanks to living on the same street.
We sold our house and bought out the sister at a price that was actualy twice the price our house had cost. We then remodeled the house which was 55 years old. All and all it cost us a fortune but made my wife and kids very happy. We ran into a problem with her sister because she wanted her money right away and almost caused us to lose the family home.
Today, all is well except for the fact that I will have nothing to do with her sister. My wifes brothers also each inheritated a house from her parents in our area and we all get together for the holidays, birthdays, and special days.
Bart

 

[vacationhopeful]

I took over the family home after my parents had passed on. My siblings have approved of the various updates (upgrades) to the house. The lastest was tearing down the 1951 large shed (used at first as a chicken coup; aka shack 15 x 15 feet) and replacing it was a 10x12 shed. Next to go will be the 8x8 shed (think hot tub improvement).

But the "shack" was my pre-teen brother's hangout for his long afternoon baseball games with his friends from the nearby subdivision. They rolled that shack all over the yard (8 arces); even tried to roll it across the paved road until a cop stopped and told them to get it off the road. The field across the street was a nice large pasture belonging to our grandfather. I thought my brother was going to cry when I told him I had reduce it to rubble.

Icc5 - it was the newest BIL (8 months married) who tried to queer my taking over the house. He found a realtor who was oftering him $100K more ($20K per sibling) than the agreed price to me. Then he (former cop) tried to pick a fistfight with my brother (criminal defense lawyer) in the front yard to get his way. Siblings (except his wife) all backed me; ment more to them to be able to come back and visit their home than the money.

 

[Zac495]

Yes Patri, we hid everywhere - it is 6000 sq feet - huge with 10 bedrooms. We found little nooks and hid - my sister got locked in once. We crawled out onto the rafters of the roof.

Irishween, I love the idea of writing things - there was once a note in the attic that said, "One day blood will flow," (not spelled that well) when I was annoyed with dear sister (love her completely now We actually know the soon-to-be new owners - the guy has been knocking on mom's door for 3 years asking to buy the house. Mom and Dad lived in an area near the local synagogue - and this is an area where many Hasidic Jews live - so they need to walk. She finally sold it to him! But I'm going to do the writing this weekend!
Artringwald and Muranojo - so sad for your losses - fresh loss and years ago. As I was cleaning out my dad's stuff (LOTS of stuff) I realized how fortunate I was doing it while he and Mom were (are) still alive.

Here's a link to a walk through the house and a picture of where we hid.
Mom is doing great, but I do worry about Dad. I wish he could see more of Mom - we still play bridge on Sundays. I'm not sure what he does the other days - he can't hear on the phone nor use email, so we're out of touch all week.

http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm256/zac495/Dear Old House/

 

[CapriciousC]

I'm glad to hear that your parents are resettled It is a lovely house, I am sure that the new owners will greatly enjoy living there. We moved a lot when I was a child, so I never really had one "childhood home". When my MIL sold the farm my DH grew up on, though, it was hard for him. Unfortunately she couldn't keep it up on her own, and neither DH nor his sister wanted to be farmers.

It was hard for us when we sold the house we bought when we first married - it was the house we brought our daughter home from the hospital to, etc. I took comfort in the wonderful family who purchased it and the thought that they, too, would build many happy memories there.

 

[pwrshift]

Thanks for sharing those pictures. What a wonderful house. In many cases a 'family' home is often part of an important retirement plan to pay for accommodations in later life and it appears that this is what happened for your parents.

I'm in a large house too that I've had for 22 years now and where my 3 daughters all grew up. They've left the nest, and the house price potential is way way up over what I paid back then. Because Canadians don't have any taxation on home capital gains I'm tempted to sell and move into a condo but have great concerns about being able to be happy with downsizing. Glad to hear your mom is happy and your dad is at least ok with it. Time marches on...

Brian

 

[thinze3]

Wow! This looks like a perfect setting for a movie to be filmed.

Thanks for sharing Ellen.

I often tell the DW that I would like to downsize after my last DD graduates college in about 6 years. DW, however, is adamantly against it for the simple reasons you include in your posts - memories. She wants our grown kids to bring their children over and share (or extend) the memories of our kids.

It is something special indeed.

 

[K&PFitz]

What a beautiful home, Ellen. Thanks for the pictures.

My parents sold my childhood home during my freshman year in college. Once Dad had to mow lawn and shovel snow again, it was time for a condo. I came home for Spring Break and they told me the house was sold. I didn't even know they were thinking about selling it. It was the only house I'd ever known, and I don't think they understood my feelings at all. They were so excited about the new place. I look at it once in a while on Google Street View. It's smaller than it was when I was a child!

All this came back to me when we moved two years ago. We had lived in that house 17 years, and my daughter had been only 7 when we moved in. I think it was harder on her than us to say good-bye to it. Something special about that childhood home.

 

[artringwald]

My daughter took her children to visit their first house, and the house where they were born, and the house was gone! The business next door had bought it, tore it down, filled in the hole, and was saving it for future expansion. They only lived there about 7 years so there wasn't too much emotional attachment, but they certainly were surprised.

 

[NWL]

Ellen,

You definitely have the right attitude for this situation. Best wishes to your family!

Cheers!

 

[Zac495]

Downsizing has been quite an ordeal - Mom keeps emailing me with more stuff for us to take - our house is a normal sized home.

Not sure DH and I will sell for a long time as our home isn't huge like that.

Thanks, everyone - love that we're all such a great TUG family!

 

[pjrose]

What a gorgeous house! Wish I had bought it way back then.....

Your posts about your parents and now the house are just so sweet, Ellen, so caring and thoughtful

Hugs!

 

[Zac495]

What a gorgeous house! Wish I had bought it way back then.....

Your posts about your parents and now the house are just so sweet, Ellen, so caring and thoughtful

Hugs!

Thanks PJ!!
I love that I can share on TUG because so many people like you really care. THANKS