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The Enchantments closed & reopened because of a fugitive

easyrider

TUG Review Crew: Elite
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Location
Palm Springs of Washinton
Resorts Owned
Worldmark * * Villa Del Palmar UVCI * * Vacation Internationale*
I'm not sure how long the area was closed but it was closed for maybe a week. A man named Travis Decker murdered his three young daughters and hiked off into the mountains. There have been reported sightings of this guy from other hikers. They are hot on his trail but so far he keeps on eluding their efforts. This is one of the most heinous murders in our area ever.

Bill

 
When I first heard the alert, I thought Why do they let a father have the kids when he is homeless. Then the following Monday, when I heard the news I heard they had been murdered, I literally cried.

My daughter is currently going through a very contentious divorce, and the last 4 weeks the kids have cried hysterically when we take them to the kid exchange. They do not want to go to their fathers. The legal system is seriously broken. The arguments for shared custody seem just to ignore the trauma that it inflicts on the kids. We have no choice but to turn the kids over to their father or we would go to jail, and no one seems to believe what they tell us.

I can't imagine what that poor mother is going through. She knew there were problems and could not protect her children. Her lawyer seems to be blaming the VA, I place the blame on the family court.
 
When I first heard the alert, I thought Why do they let a father have the kids when he is homeless. Then the following Monday, when I heard the news I heard they had been murdered, I literally cried.

My daughter is currently going through a very contentious divorce, and the last 4 weeks the kids have cried hysterically when we take them to the kid exchange. They do not want to go to their fathers. The legal system is seriously broken. The arguments for shared custody seem just to ignore the trauma that it inflicts on the kids. We have no choice but to turn the kids over to their father or we would go to jail, and no one seems to believe what they tell us.

I can't imagine what that poor mother is going through. She knew there were problems and could not protect her children. Her lawyer seems to be blaming the VA, I place the blame on the family court.

I didn't get why the kids were allowed non-supervised visits. The idiots that allowed this are definitely part of the problem.

Bill
 
My daughter is currently going through a very contentious divorce, and the last 4 weeks the kids have cried hysterically when we take them to the kid exchange. They do not want to go to their fathers. The legal system is seriously broken. The arguments for shared custody seem just to ignore the trauma that it inflicts on the kids. We have no choice but to turn the kids over to their father or we would go to jail, and no one seems to believe what they tell us.
My position is that unless the father is actually shown to be undeserving of having kids - i.e. if he would have them removed (and then I question why they would have been fine with both parents), he has as much right to custody as the mother. Do you know if the kids react the same way when the Father is dropping them off (i.e. have trauma just changing between separated parents)? Look, I don't know your situation, maybe the guy is completely horrible. The courts can only do what the courts can do - there's no 0 trauma solution here. I don't think it's right, nor would necessarily be appreciated down the road by anyone for one parent to inherently lose all parental rights and interactions and custody because of a divorce.

For this article - well, I agree that the systems don't work well - the government just doesn't want to deal with protecting anyone, even from themselves. I've seen in first hand with my now passed mentally ill veteran uncle. The VA wanted to claim anything to not have to treat him or do anything. The local cops, adult protective, whoever wanted to believe because he had condiments and maybe one canned chili can he was fine and feeding himself etc when he hadn't left the house in weeks, looked like a concentration camp victim, and was for some reason pooping in bags in the living room. "Oh, he's an adult, he can be a little quirky". "We can't make him get a psych eval". "We know he threatened and kicked out the home health nurse, and hasn't had his meds in 6 months, but he's an adult and can choose to live that way". "Oh, he's claiming the house has smoke coming out of the walls and a bunch of wires just appeared out of them overnight" he told the fire marshal, when it was obvious the wires had been there for decades (coax connections now unused)...

Of course, all this is complete bullshit to anyone not strongly motivated to get out and not have to do anything. And here I'll bet everyone ignored all the family as "just hysterical" or they're "out to get the person". It's not possible they're trying to do all they can to make things better, no - they're just making crap up for their own gain. I've given up thinking it'll ever get better, especially if the VA is involved - but TBH - we all cry for a second on the news, change the channel and want low taxes and not to have a nanny state. Except when we personally have to deal with this crap or hear a tragic article like this.
 
My position is that unless the father is actually shown to be undeserving of having kids - i.e. if he would have them removed (and then I question why they would have been fine with both parents), he has as much right to custody as the mother. Do you know if the kids react the same way when the Father is dropping them off (i.e. have trauma just changing between separated parents)? Look, I
No they do not fuss at all coming back to their mom. They tell us the whole time we have them that they don't want to go to dads. This week was especially rough as the 4 year old was begging her mom not to send her to her dad's and she needs to call the police because she hates him ( the 4 yo not her mom). They tell us things and the court will not hear it and CPS will not believe it. Even the guardian ad litem won't talk to the kids directly because she is not qualified. The father refuses to allow the 4 yo to go to therapy. What is really difficult is for your child/grandchild to ask you to help them and there is nothing you can do.
 
No they do not fuss at all coming back to their mom. They tell us the whole time we have them that they don't want to go to dads. This week was especially rough as the 4 year old was begging her mom not to send her to her dad's and she needs to call the police because she hates him ( the 4 yo not her mom). They tell us things and the court will not hear it and CPS will not believe it. Even the guardian ad litem won't talk to the kids directly because she is not qualified. The father refuses to allow the 4 yo to go to therapy. What is really difficult is for your child/grandchild to ask you to help them and there is nothing you can do.

It's a bad situation for sure. It can go either way with the mom or dad hurting the kids just to settle scores with each other.

Bill
 
No they do not fuss at all coming back to their mom. They tell us the whole time we have them that they don't want to go to dads. This week was especially rough as the 4 year old was begging her mom not to send her to her dad's and she needs to call the police because she hates him ( the 4 yo not her mom). They tell us things and the court will not hear it and CPS will not believe it. Even the guardian ad litem won't talk to the kids directly because she is not qualified. The father refuses to allow the 4 yo to go to therapy. What is really difficult is for your child/grandchild to ask you to help them and there is nothing you can do.
Hey, I've got first hand experience in this nonsense and I've seen the results. There's no way you can post enough on a message board to give a complete understanding of the situation and nor should you.
However, where does a 4-yo get the idea to call the police? She hates her father? These are serious red flags. Are you getting the support you need for the well-being, mental health and future development of your grandchildren and your daughter? Maybe start by reading old books by John Bradshaw and his mentor, Virginia Satir.

Therapy for a 4yo isn't going to do much but stable, calm adults around her can influence the child for the better. If the GAL is a dead end, accept this and try to make the situation the best you can for the kids. Understand it's a long road ahead and there are no quick fixes.
 
My position is that unless the father is actually shown to be undeserving of having kids - i.e. if he would have them removed (and then I question why they would have been fine with both parents), he has as much right to custody as the mother. Do you know if the kids react the same way when the Father is dropping them off (i.e. have trauma just changing between separated parents)? Look, I don't know your situation, maybe the guy is completely horrible. The courts can only do what the courts can do - there's no 0 trauma solution here. I don't think it's right, nor would necessarily be appreciated down the road by anyone for one parent to inherently lose all parental rights and interactions and custody because of a divorce.

For this article - well, I agree that the systems don't work well - the government just doesn't want to deal with protecting anyone, even from themselves. I've seen in first hand with my now passed mentally ill veteran uncle. The VA wanted to claim anything to not have to treat him or do anything. The local cops, adult protective, whoever wanted to believe because he had condiments and maybe one canned chili can he was fine and feeding himself etc when he hadn't left the house in weeks, looked like a concentration camp victim, and was for some reason pooping in bags in the living room. "Oh, he's an adult, he can be a little quirky". "We can't make him get a psych eval". "We know he threatened and kicked out the home health nurse, and hasn't had his meds in 6 months, but he's an adult and can choose to live that way". "Oh, he's claiming the house has smoke coming out of the walls and a bunch of wires just appeared out of them overnight" he told the fire marshal, when it was obvious the wires had been there for decades (coax connections now unused)...

Of course, all this is complete bullshit to anyone not strongly motivated to get out and not have to do anything. And here I'll bet everyone ignored all the family as "just hysterical" or they're "out to get the person". It's not possible they're trying to do all they can to make things better, no - they're just making crap up for their own gain. I've given up thinking it'll ever get better, especially if the VA is involved - but TBH - we all cry for a second on the news, change the channel and want low taxes and not to have a nanny state. Except when we personally have to deal with this crap or hear a tragic article like this.
I'm really sorry about your uncle. It is a really difficult situation. Both of these men were veterans but these situations are not unique to the military community.

Sadly, parents, especially men, do themselves in frequently once their reason for living is gone - without a family to love and protect. And, sometimes parents take the kids with them. There was a single mom in our community who took this path years ago. She was certain it was the right thing to do, and there were no warning signs. None. All we could do from there was reach out to every single mom and get to know them and offer support.
 
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