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Stay At Home Humor

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What is the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant? One is pho profit, and the other is naan profit.
 
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I would have called these frequent flyer cards, not loyalty cards .....

www.thesmokinggun.com

Dealer Issued Loyalty Cards To Drug Customers

SEPTEMBER 11--In a marketing effort to secure repeat business, a Minnesota drug dealer issued discount “loyalty cards” to customers who purchased magic mushrooms and other narcotics from him, accordi
www.thesmokinggun.com www.thesmokinggun.com
 
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I came into the bedroom a couple of nights ago after taking a shower. And there was my wife, laying on the bed, stark naked and eyeing me. Smiling at me, she licked her lips as she raised her head, and in a sultry voice asked, "What turns you on more? My pretty face or my sexy body?"

I pride myself on being an honest man - I never lie. So, naturally I responded, "Your sense of humor."

******

This morning the hospitalist told me that I need at least one more day in ICU before she can even consider possible discharge dates.
 
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