Never realized how hard it is to send a parent to Hospice until today.

[Fredflintstone]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Grammarhero]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Sorry for this situation.

 

[silentg]

It’s hard, I know lost both parents and mother in law. Sorry you are going thru this. And for your Dad too, I know he must be suffering.

 

[Panina]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I am crying with you. I have be through this and the decision is not an easy one.

My aunt just passed and my cousins kept her home but only had 4 hours of hospice at home provided. They did not get additional support. My aunt was in so much pain I actually thought hospice would be a better way for her. My cousin said I give her the same meds she would have in hospice. It was a family choice.

With my experience with Hospice, I can tell you in Hospice you can stay and visit as long as you want, the staff was very kind and diligent in keeping their clients clean and comfortable and for those that were talking they were friendly.

My prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry.

 

[VacationForever]

He could have hospice support staff at his home and have his last wish to die at home. You would supplement help with 24x7 care. While costly, it is only for a short period, days or a few months.

 

[DaveNV]

Sad situation, certainly, but at least in Hospice he won't be uncomfortable. Wishing him a speedy, painless passing when his time comes. You have to accept that you made the right decision.

Dave

 

[Karen G]

So sorry for your Dad and for you,

 

[Snazzylass]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Hey, it's tough! So sorry

 

[Passepartout]

I had to make those decisions for- and with- my mom. It is truly heartbreaking. TUG truly IS a family and a community. We feel your pain. Tears will be shed along with yours. It was truly symbolic that your dad was able to shut off the lights on the way out the door. Now he can prepare for whatever lies beyond. Hospice can help both of you with that.

I wish you both. . .Peace.

Jim

 

[Rolltydr]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

So sorry for you and your dad. All you can do is make the best decision you can based on the circumstances. I will never forget having to have my mother removed from her home that last time. She had Alzheimers and had become a danger to herself. I thought she would probably live only a few weeks or months at the most. But, after she went into the nursing home, she actually improved and accepted she was better off in the facility. She lived there for six more years! It was so much better for all of us. My brother and I knew she was being taken good care of and she was happier and healthier, both mentally and physically since she had 24 hour care.

Take care of yourself and let hospice help you take care of your dad. As Jim said, Peace to you both.

 

[bluehende]

Words can not say how sorry I feel for your situation. A lot of us have gone through it but there is no way we can make it any easier. Have peace that the right thing was done.

 

[CPNY]

So sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you.

 

[CanuckTravlr]

This is indeed a tough decision to make, but IMO you made the right choice. I have been faced with this same issue and made the same decision for the same reasons for both of my parents and two of my aunts. They may not realize it at the time, but ultimately they are in a better place and you can focus on just being with them until the end. Hang in there. Moving someone to a hospice does not mean you do not love them!!

 

[CableMan67]

I've had to go thru this with both parents. Just lost my mother 3 months ago and it's still very hard. Be strong, I was with my Mom until the end.

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[brownhaired_girl]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I’m so sorry . This is a very difficult decision. Hopefully they will do a good job with any pain control needed. I believe they will also help with any support you need at this time and with the many changes you will experience.

 

[artringwald]

My dad did hospice at home. It was very difficult for my mom, but my brother and I were able to be there with her for the last week to help. I hope you can cherish your last moments with your dad even if he can't go in his own home. My mom went suddenly 3 weeks after my dad, and we never got a chance to say goodbye. One thing we did for our dad, each of his 4 children wrote him a letter telling him some of our best memories and how much he meant to us. I think both my dad and mom appreciated reading them. It's been 17 years, and I still enjoy reading them too.

 

[Makai Guy]

I was very touched by your post.

With your father turning off the lights, I flashed on an old memory from the Jimmy Durante show in the 50's. He ended each show saying "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are..." and walked off through a couple of downcast spotlights into the darkness.

 

[slip]

Sorry to hear this, you made the right decision.

 

[pedro47]

I can feel for both parties. That is a very tough decision for an adult child to place a parent in a hospice care facility and a harder decision for the hospice parent to leave their home for the last time knowing that they wanted to take their last breath in their bed at home.

All I wanted and asked the hospice staff; let my parents go to sleep with no pain. My father, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law and my best friend were all
in hospice care at home and they all past away in their home Peacefully.

I wish you peace of mind. I feel your pain and I feel you make the right decision. May God be with you and your father.

 

[WinniWoman]

So very sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you. Not easy for sure.

I remember my dads last year of life. He essentially was in the hospital or nursing home the whole year. But he did have one short 3 day reprieve where he came home.

He barely walked in the door, slowly made it to the kitchen table, sat down and sobbed. I will never forget that moment.

Unfortunately after 3 days he was back in the hospital and he ended up dying in the nursing home. He wanted to come home so badly but my mom
could not take care of him and we all were working and did not live nearby.

 

[jackio]

I am so sorry for your troubles. I wish your dad and you peace at this sad time.

 

[rapmarks]

I am so sorry for you and your dad

 

[dgalati]

I must say.

It never hit home how bad a shape my dad is in until I had to make a decision to send him to a Hospice. He is 84.

Even though a Hospice is a god send for family struggling with their dying loved one, it signals the true beginning of the end. It almost smacks one in the face.

Well, today, I had to make that hard decision. Dad wanted to die at home and I tried everything possible to make that happen. I even hired support staff but he just became beyond them. He can’t walk anymore, isn’t eating and has severe bowel/bladder challenges. Having that crucial conversation with him on why he needs a hospice was probably the hardest conversations I have ever had.

Then comes gathering the strength to watch him sob in his weak, tortured little voice as they stretcher him off to the hospice. I am hoping I can let him visit his home one last time but my gut tells me that probably won’t happen.

I plan to see him daily and told him that.

After he was able to control his sobbing, he asked if he could shut the lights off before he left. He was stretchered to the light switches to shut all of them off. How symbolic...quietly shut the lights out before you leave.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Heartbreaking to read this. I cant imagine how hard it was for you and your father best wishes to you and your father.

 

[paxsarah]

I’m so sorry for your situation. I hope you can spend some quality time with your father in this last phase of his life.

 

[AnnaS]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Difficult decisions for sure. I also hope you can spend a lot of quality time with your dad.

We had my dad and my sister with Hospice at home. We did have some/little support but the rest was on us/but that is the way we all wanted it. My dad wanted to be home and when my sister's turn came less than two months later, she told us she wanted the same as daddy and she definitely did not want to be alone. She took her last breath with all of us around her......

They will take care of your dad and we think and hope it's all painless.....that is all we can do and think.

I wish you peace and may God give you comfort and be with your dad.