Ideas for hosting an older relative in our two story home

[klpca]

My dad (84 and very sedentary) occasionally wants to spend time in our home and we are happy to host him. He has started having trouble with the stairs and our extra bedrooms are on the second floor. Our stairs are a straight shot - so no landing to stop to rest, or even to stop a fall in the horrible even that he stumbles. I really don't want him going up and down those stairs - it scares me but he insists that he can do it (and so far he has but it is terrifying to watch). I do not have a room downstairs that can be closed off so I am trying to see if anyone has a creative idea to create a sleeping space in your living area. Obviously we have sofas in both our family room and living room but neither are comfortable enough to have an elderly relative sleep on for anything longer than a nap. I am looking at rollaway beds but not sure if there are other alternatives that I haven't considered. Any ideas?

 

[PigsDad]

Rollaway bed with temporary curtain / room dividers for privacy can work well.

Kurt

 

[DaveNV]

Probably more expense than you might want, but how about a Murphy bed? I've seen some that fold up in a way to look like bookcases when not in use.

No stairs were a big "must have" when we moved to Nevada. Our old house had a long staircase to the second floor, and it was exhausting going up and down them all the time. This Nevada house has no stairs at all. We quite like that.

Dave

 

[rickandcindy23]

If your house is already decorated, as I am sure her house is, it's tough to add a murphy bed. I cannot imagine removing any of my furniture on the main floor to add one.

Maybe add a second handrail for balance? My mother-in-law had two handrails going down into her basement and used both going down. Going up with her clean clothes, I don't know what she did for that. Maybe she just did a few at a time. Seemed like most of her clothes were stored in her laundry room, except underwear. She was 92 when she died.

I have thought about adding a murphy bed to our basement as it's substantially cooler down there for sleeping, and our upstairs is so hot during July and August months. What kind of mattress would be super comfortable for being on a wood frame like that?

We are currently remodeling the basement to suit our current lifestyle, which includes some exercise equipment that we are going to move downstairs from our patio room, But we are 67 now, and I don't know if we would use the exercise equipment much longer. I just know that my grandma was exercising right up until she passed at 92, so I am hopeful the equipment will continue to get use. She was a tough lady.

Rick is tossing around the idea of adding a lift chair to our staircase going up. I would like to use it just for laundry baskets right now. I don't like not holding onto something going up.

 

[wackymother]

My dad (84 and very sedentary) occasionally wants to spend time in our home and we are happy to host him. He has started having trouble with the stairs and our extra bedrooms are on the second floor. Our stairs are a straight shot - so no landing to stop to rest, or even to stop a fall in the horrible even that he stumbles. I really don't want him going up and down those stairs - it scares me but he insists that he can do it (and so far he has but it is terrifying to watch). I do not have a room downstairs that can be closed off so I am trying to see if anyone has a creative idea to create a sleeping space in your living area. Obviously we have sofas in both our family room and living room but neither are comfortable enough to have an elderly relative sleep on for anything longer than a nap. I am looking at rollaway beds but not sure if there are other alternatives that I haven't considered. Any ideas?

They make temporary walls that I think rely on pressure. I think you can even rent them. Or they make heavy curtains that can be mounted on ceiling frames, like in a hospital, but you could put pretty curtains up rather than the hospital kind.

Do you have a floor plan of your first floor or could you draw one? Is there a bathroom on that floor? If there's no bathroom, unfortunately creating a sleeping space alone won't really help. Look at any space that could be an alcove. Or, since you have a family room and a living room, could one of those be his room? It's wonderful that your father wants to spend time with you and that you want to make him comfortable!

 

[klpca]

Probably more expense than you might want, but how about a Murphy bed? I've seen some that fold up in a way to look like bookcases when not in use.

No stairs were a big "must have" when we moved to Nevada. Our old house had a long staircase to the second floor, and it was exhausting going up and down them all the time. This Nevada house has no stairs at all. We quite like that.

Dave

Yeah the stairs are bound to be an issue as we age. For now we are putting off moving because otherwise our house is perfect. Dang stairs.

 

[VacationForever]

We took the expensive route for my mother-in-law for the one visit that my late parents-in-law made to see us. We paid about $4,500 in have a chair lift installed on the stairs. All the bedrooms are upstairs and we wanted them to be comfortable. A cheaper and "harsher" route would have been to put them up in a hotel but we didn't want to make them unhappy because they believed in staying with family when visiting. The one-time use was expensive but it ended up being used one more time in an emergency situation, so it was not a complete waste of money. We have since sold that house and the buyers were delighted to have the stair lift in place because we offered to have it be taken out. Although they were a young family, they liked to have that in place. It was a large home and the entire ground floor was set up for entertainment.

The one emergency use was when my husband had an episode where all of a sudden, he lost most of his muscle control. He managed to get onto the stair lift, with my assistance, and rode it downstairs and then into our car to get to the emergency room. It would have been extremely difficult for him to climb down the stairs. In case you wonder what caused it, the doctor didn't know but we thought it was probably caused by overlapping different types of cough / cold medications. A lesson learned to not take 2 different types of medications for a cold without consulting a pharmacist or a doctor.

 

[wackymother]

Yeah the stairs are bound to be an issue as we age. For now we are putting off moving because otherwise our house is perfect. Dang stairs.

They make stair lifts (the kind that are like a little seat that carries you up the stairs). Also I just saw an ad for this thing that's like an elevator that they put in where the staircase was. Just one person at a time. I felt a little claustrophobic just looking at it, honestly.

 

[easyrider]

Rick is tossing around the idea of adding a lift chair to our staircase going up.

I bought and installed a lift chair so my wifes parents could get to their bedroom. It worked out really well while they were in the right mind to use it. Eventually I turned their den into a bedroom because there was a full bathroom connected to the den. The lift was easy to install.

Bill

 

[klpca]

They make temporary walls that I think rely on pressure. I think you can even rent them. Or they make heavy curtains that can be mounted on ceiling frames, like in a hospital, but you could put pretty curtains up rather than the hospital kind.

Do you have a floor plan of your first floor or could you draw one? Is there a bathroom on that floor? If there's no bathroom, unfortunately creating a sleeping space alone won't really help. Look at any space that could be an alcove. Or, since you have a family room and a living room, could one of those be his room? It's wonderful that your father wants to spend time with you and that you want to make him comfortable!

The floorplan is an open living room/dining room combo with vaulted ceilings on one side, a family room with low ceilings on the other side with our eat in kitchen in the middle (open to the family room). We do have a powder room and in next years update I am planning to add a "dog shower" in the laundry room that can be used as a human shower in a pinch. My friends think it's a bit nuts but when I broke my foot last year I became quite concerned about the lack of a bathing facility on the ground floor. I met with some contractors who wanted to do major plumbing construction to make a downstairs bathroom out of the laundry room and convert the powder room to a laundry room, but adding the dog wash to the laundry room wasn't a major change. so that is our current plan.

I hadn't thought of drapes hanging from the ceiling but that might work in the FR, so thanks for the suggestion. I think that we could rearrange the sectional in the FR to accommodate a rollaway so that may work out!

Btw the mom of a friend installed a stair chair - just in case - and never used it for anything other than laundry, lol. We still chuckle about that one.

 

[easyrider]

My dad (84 and very sedentary) occasionally wants to spend time in our home and we are happy to host him. He has started having trouble with the stairs and our extra bedrooms are on the second floor. Our stairs are a straight shot - so no landing to stop to rest, or even to stop a fall in the horrible even that he stumbles. I really don't want him going up and down those stairs - it scares me but he insists that he can do it (and so far he has but it is terrifying to watch). I do not have a room downstairs that can be closed off so I am trying to see if anyone has a creative idea to create a sleeping space in your living area. Obviously we have sofas in both our family room and living room but neither are comfortable enough to have an elderly relative sleep on for anything longer than a nap. I am looking at rollaway beds but not sure if there are other alternatives that I haven't considered. Any ideas?

Rent a bed. They will deliver it and take it away when you are done. You could also rent a lift chair.

Bill

 

[wackymother]

With the chair stair, I think that's pretty smart! It probably let her stay in the house longer bc now she no longer had to schlep the laundry up and down!

 

[klpca]

If your house is already decorated, as I am sure her house is, it's tough to add a murphy bed. I cannot imagine removing any of my furniture on the main floor to add one.

Maybe add a second handrail for balance? My mother-in-law had two handrails going down into her basement and used both going down. Going up with her clean clothes, I don't know what she did for that. Maybe she just did a few at a time. Seemed like most of her clothes were stored in her laundry room, except underwear. She was 92 when she died.

I have thought about adding a murphy bed to our basement as it's substantially cooler down there for sleeping, and our upstairs is so hot during July and August months. What kind of mattress would be super comfortable for being on a wood frame like that?

We are currently remodeling the basement to suit our current lifestyle, which includes some exercise equipment that we are going to move downstairs from our patio room, But we are 67 now, and I don't know if we would use the exercise equipment much longer. I just know that my grandma was exercising right up until she passed at 92, so I am hopeful the equipment will continue to get use. She was a tough lady.

Rick is tossing around the idea of adding a lift chair to our staircase going up. I would like to use it just for laundry baskets right now. I don't like not holding onto something going up.

I just re-read this Cindy and I love the idea of a second hand rail. We should probably do that anyway.

 

[Luanne]

Rick is tossing around the idea of adding a lift chair to our staircase going up. I would like to use it just for laundry baskets right now. I don't like not holding onto something going up.

My sister put one of these in her house in MO for my mother. Mom's bedroom was on the main floor so she had no reason to go downstairs unless they had a tornado warning. The downstairs, where my sister and brother-in-law's bedroom is, is the basement. I had to use it with Mom one year when I was there visiting. My sister does use it for laundry.

 

[chellej]

This is what we are going to get for our loft in our cabin....we don't have the wall space for a murphy bed but this seems like a good alternative and better than a sofa bed

https://www.amazon.com/Night-Day-Furniture-Cabinet-Mattress/dp/B016IB7WKU

 

[mchct]

Also check Craig's List or other selling platforms for those electric lift chair for stairs because sometimes they show up in the free section or for a pretty low price, although you'll need to hire someone to install it if you aren't handy.

Our current home is also two stories but also since it was built in 1984 it has two steps up to the front porch. Then at the entry, two steps down to the formal living room, two step back up to the dining room and kitchen. Or if you go the other way from the entry go upstairs or two step down into the family room, extra bedroom/office, laundry room and one step down into the garage.

And we learned when our last German Shepherd got older (14 which is pretty old for a larger dog) she stopped going up and down the stairs. Then, even those two steps up/down from the entry to the living room or family room were just so hard on her. Eventually moved her crate right next to the sliding glass door in the family room but even the crate's one inch threshold and the low threshold of the slider was so hard for her.

The staircase does have the turn so it's not a straight shop up and does have a "break" or place to stop but then those electric lift chairs don't work or would probably require more (expensive) rails, so it won't be a good fit when/if we aren't as "mobile" in the future. That's probably why my husband bought out his brother's shares from their mom's house since that one is single store throughout!

 

[klpca]

Also check Craig's List or other selling platforms for those electric lift chair for stairs because sometimes they show up in the free section or for a pretty low price, although you'll need to hire someone to install it if you aren't handy.

Our current home is also two stories but also since it was built in 1984 it has two steps up to the front porch. Then at the entry, two steps down to the formal living room, two step back up to the dining room and kitchen. Or if you go the other way from the entry go upstairs or two step down into the family room, extra bedroom/office, laundry room and one step down into the garage.

And we learned when our last German Shepherd got older (14 which is pretty old for a larger dog) she stopped going up and down the stairs. Then, even those two steps up/down from the entry to the living room or family room were just so hard on her. Eventually moved her crate right next to the sliding glass door in the family room but even the crate's one inch threshold and the low threshold of the slider was so hard for her.

The staircase does have the turn so it's not a straight shop up and does have a "break" or place to stop but then those electric lift chairs don't work or would probably require more (expensive) rails, so it won't be a good fit when/if we aren't as "mobile" in the future. That's probably why my husband bought out his brother's shares from their mom's house since that one is single store throughout!

Our house was built in 1987 so we have a similar set up - one step up to the front door then one step down into the main room. We call it the trick step because people never see it coming. Now when we entertain we greet everyone at the door to keep people from letting themselves in and missing the step. We walk them into the house with a warning about the step. We also have a sign on the front door that says "watch the step". (It replaced the "come on in!" sign). So far so good. We haven't had a fall in over 5 years.

 

[AnnaS]

I would either have a chair lift installed or buy a folding bed and a folding room divider for privacy. They have some nice ones. My neighbor took his elderly uncle in his house. The uncle is in the 1 BDR apartment but the divider works great giving him and his live-in aide privacy.

 

[Luanne]

Our house was built in 1987 so we have a similar set up - one step up to the front door then one step down into the main room. We call it the trick step because people never see it coming. Now when we entertain we greet everyone at the door to keep people from letting themselves in and missing the step. We walk them into the house with a warning about the step. We also have a sign on the front door that says "watch the step". (It replaced the "come on in!" sign). So far so good. We haven't had a fall in over 5 years.

We have a step up in the pathway that leads to our front door. It's all brick, so easy to miss if you're not watching. I had dh put a yellow strip along the step so it's more easily visible. As we, and our friends, are all getting older we need all the help we can get.

 

[wackymother]

I have no depth perception, so those single steps are really hard for me to see. I miss them all the time. And I've been like this all my life, so I watch carefully--for people who are slowly losing their sight as they age, it's probably even harder. I think every step should have a yellow edge so people can see them!

 

[klpca]

I have no depth perception, so those single steps are really hard for me to see. I miss them all the time. And I've been like this all my life, so I watch carefully--for people who are slowly losing their sight as they age, it's probably even harder. I think every step should have a yellow edge so people can see them!

We have tried tape and putting a contrasting throw rug on the floor below the step but someone always walks right off the step. It only seems to happen at gatherings when there are a lot of people to greet and the person arriving is distracted. After the last fall at book club I stopped having people let themselves in. Now we personally greet everyone at the door and walk them in. We do the reverse when everyone leaves. People always say "you don't have to walk me out" but I insist and explain exactly why. I had a co-worker who walked off of one on the front porch (not at my house) after a Christmas Eve gathering and broke her ankle so badly that she had to have surgery and was in a wheelchair for weeks. I honestly wish that we had jackhammered them up when we re-did our floors back in 2013. They are a terrible hazard.

 

[rickandcindy23]

We have a step going into our family room. That has been terrible for my elderly aunts and uncles years ago, I even warned them at my dad's funeral, but still two aunts stumbled badly on that step. This was years ago. Now my grandson, who is 3, stops at the step and waits for me to fly him down. He just stops there and waits.

 

[wackymother]

We have tried tape and putting a contrasting throw rug on the floor below the step but someone always walks right off the step. It only seems to happen at gatherings when there are a lot of people to greet and the person arriving is distracted. After the last fall at book club I stopped having people let themselves in. Now we personally greet everyone at the door and walk them in. We do the reverse when everyone leaves. People always say "you don't have to walk me out" but I insist and explain exactly why. I had a co-worker who walked off of one on the front porch (not at my house) after a Christmas Eve gathering and broke her ankle so badly that she had to have surgery and was in a wheelchair for weeks. I honestly wish that we had jackhammered them up when we re-did our floors back in 2013. They are a terrible hazard.

I think you're right to escort everyone in and out. They also make those commercial edges for steps, with contrasting colors and no-skid texture so as you walk you FEEL the difference and look down.