Grammarhero: Happy Holidays and updates

[Grammarhero]

Good evening,
Miss you all. Unfortunately, Connor was diagnosed with mild autism or Asberger syndrome. He has delayed speaking, solitary play, and sensory sensitivity issues. He’s cute and sweet, but hard to take care of. We know when he wants to hug us or be carried, he really loves us!

I have greater respect for parents and caretakers of special needs children and disabled adults. It’s been hard and frustrating at times. The normal strategies and advice that work with most toddlers don’t always work with ASD toddlers. I am sleeping a bit better, as Connor isn’t playing past midnight as much.

This past weekend, we took him on his first timeshare trip! Before, he didn’t take roadtrips well. But he enjoyed the beach and ocean. We will take him to Williamsburg, Shenandoah, Massanutten, Virginia Beach, outer banks, and other places within five hours of DC. I appreciate this message board helping me provide great memories for my family.

Connor starts special ed preschool at 3 years old. We hope after a year, he can attend mainstream preschool with supports. Anyhow, here are some pics of the fam and Connor’s first timeshare trip.

 

[Passepartout]

Congrats. We've missed your participation, but understand priorities. Merry Christmas to all, and happy travels. We also have offspring who are aspy, and though he turned 50 this year still has issues that make him 'different' than the mainstream. He's fortunately found a very successful path in the tech sector.

 

[klpca]

Merry Christmas to you and your family! I am glad that you guys are able to start doing some timeshare trips again. We didn't timeshare when our kids were little because we couldn't afford retail and didn't know about resale, but I often think how great it would have been with kids.

Also, please know that you can always check in here for support. I'm sorry that you guys have been going through this unexpected time for your family, but it sounds like you are making progress. It sounds like you are really in sync with Connor, and that will really help down the road. And I am really glad that you are able to start getting some sleep - that will make a lot of the difference!

My situation is different than yours, but at the age of two, my youngest was diagnosed with a severe speech delay (apraxia). She was in intensive speech therapy for years, and no one would venture a guess on her prognosis. She couldn't speak at all. The words were in her brain, but she couldn't express herself verbally. She also had gait issues, as well as sensory issues. The therapists only said that she was "syndromey". It was a scary time, especially because it was in the earliest stage of the internet, so we really couldn't get a lot of information. Preschool was tough because we were turned down by almost every school. I finally found one that would accept her. I am only saying all of this to give you some perspective. We recently attended a fundraiser dinner at her place of employment (she's in her early 30s). She is the associate executive director at a non-profit, and part of her duties during this event was speaking to the entire group, which she did with ease. I admit, I cried. I remember those years of uncertainty, wondering what her future would look like. I never imagined that this is what it would look like - speaking fluently in public, respected in her field. No one knew how hard she worked to get to this point. It was an emotional moment for me and it made me reflect on the past. I can't get over how well things turned out. This was better than I had ever hoped for.

You are in the thick of it, and maybe the worst of it. You are at the beginning of the journey and it will be a while before you know where this journey will take Connor. All that you can do at this point is to do what you can do. Don't spend too much time worrying about the future because it will take your energy away from now.

 

[RX8]

Thanks for the update Grammarhero. I know that you have your challenges but geez, that little guy’s smile sure does melt hearts.

 

[TUGBrian]

cant believe mine are 5 and 7...seemed like just yesterday I was posting similar photos! happy holidays!

 

[pedro47]

Wishing you a very special Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday. I have missed your family updates,

Please give Connor and your Spouse, a big hug from me.

I love all your family photos. They are so precious.

 

[rapmarks]

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
my daughter had severe speech problems, I won’t go into details of the many years of therapy and worries, but she has three masters degrees and a good job which includes a lot of talking now. The days are long but the years go fast.

 

[pedro47]

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
my daughter had severe speech problems, I won’t go into details of the many years of therapy and worries, but she has three masters degrees and a good job which includes a lot of talking now. The days are long but the years go fast.

Rapmark, thanks for sharing that story. Only, a person with a disability can truly understand your daughter achievement . Outstanding story.IMHO

 

[jackio]

Merry Christmas to your family, and enjoy your vacations this coming year. We are going through similar with our 5 year old grandson. I give you and my son and DIL credit because it’s not easy

 

[Patri]

Blessings to you. The positive is that Connor’s case is mild. His future is bright. Our school district has an excellent special ed department. People move here just so their children can have our teachers. The staff who work with kids on the spectrum are amazing. I hope you find the right people to help Connor reach his potential too.

 

[VacationForever]

Merry Christmas to you and your family. It is hopeful that your son's situation is "mild".

My son had "severe language communication learning disability" and had delayed speech (no speech even at 3 yo, would repeat single word, mumbo jumbo all the way to maybe about 14 yo. He is very bright - very high IQ and great with Math, but language communication was another story. His short-term memory processing is in the 5th percentile - a major cause of delayed speech. He started intensive speech pathology session, 3 times a week, when he was about 14 yo. He was able to structure sentences together after a couple of years.

I had refused to put him in an institution for the mentally retarded when he was 7, that's what they were called back in the days. Another term for his disability is now called Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I kept him in private school from about 10 years old until he graduated from high school. He won the top honors in his school for Science. He got accepted into many top colleges including UC Berkley in which he attended for 2 years. He struggled and I pulled him out and he finished his Bachelor degree in a local state university. He later graduated with another Bachelor degree in Accounting several years later, which we had hoped would improve his employment opportunities.

The sad part is that he is underemployed because of his difficulty in communication, short-term memory issues and primarily because of being on the spectrum. He also has many traits that are associated with autism - resistance to changes and is often lost in his own thoughts. He works at blue collar minimum wage jobs and makes almost enough to support himself. I gift him money each year to build up his investment account and he knows that I will always have his back. He owns his home outright - he paid 1/3rd of it and I covered the other 2/3rd. He worked for us for a few years after he graduated from university and saved much of his earnings while he was living with us. He is independent and that's what I had always hoped for. He struggled so much growing up and we had both shed lots of tears during that time. He will continue to struggle with his work life. He is 38 and I could see him working another decade before retiring. My goal for him was to get his 40 quarters of SS credits, which he has achieved.

 

[rapmarks]

Merry Christmas to you and your family. It is hopeful that your son's situation is "mild".

My son had "severe language communication learning disability" and had delayed speech (no speech even at 3 yo, would repeat single word, mumbo jumbo all the way to maybe about 14 yo. He is very bright - very high IQ and great with Math, but language communication was another story. His short-term memory processing is in the 5th percentile - a major cause of delayed speech. He started intensive speech pathology session, 3 times a week, when he was about 14 yo. He was able to structure sentences together after a couple of years.

I had refused to put him in an institution for the mentally retarded when he was 7, that's what they were called back in the days. Another term for his disability is now called being Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I kept him in private school from about 10 years old until he graduated from high school. He won the top honors in his school for Science. He got accepted into many top colleges including UC Berkley in which he attended for 2 years. He struggled and I pulled him out and he finished his Bachelor degree in a local state university. He later graduated with another Bachelor degree in Accounting several years later, which we had hoped would improve his employment opportunities.

The sad part is that he is underemployed because of his difficulty in communication, short-term memory issues and primarily because of being on the spectrum. He also has many traits that are associated with autism - resistance to changes and is often lost in his own thoughts. He works at blue collar minimum wage jobs and makes almost enough to support himself. I gift him money each year to build up his investment account and he knows that I will always have his back. He owns his home outright - he paid 1/3rd of it and I covered the other 2/3rd. He worked for us for a few years after he graduated from university and saved much of his earnings while he was living with us. He is independent and that's what I had always hoped for. He struggled so much growing up and we had both shed so much tears during that time. He will continue to struggle with his work life. He is 38 and I could see him work another decade before retiring. My goal for him was to get his 40 quarters of SS credits, which he has.

Made me remember when my daughter sang jingle bells for first time in first grade. She could not remember even a phrase til then. I remember breaking out in tears. Funny thing us she has no memory of getting speech help and of having speech delays

 

[Grammarhero]

Congrats. We've missed your participation, but understand priorities. Merry Christmas to all, and happy travels. We also have offspring who are aspy, and though he turned 50 this year still has issues that make him 'different' than the mainstream. He's fortunately found a very successful path in the tech sector.

That your son/daughter is very successful gives me hoops and inspiration.

 

[Grammarhero]

Merry Christmas to you and your family! I am glad that you guys are able to start doing some timeshare trips again. We didn't timeshare when our kids were little because we couldn't afford retail and didn't know about resale, but I often think how great it would have been with kids.

Also, please know that you can always check in here for support. I'm sorry that you guys have been going through this unexpected time for your family, but it sounds like you are making progress. It sounds like you are really in sync with Connor, and that will really help down the road. And I am really glad that you are able to start getting some sleep - that will make a lot of the difference!

My situation is different than yours, but at the age of two, my youngest was diagnosed with a severe speech delay (apraxia). She was in intensive speech therapy for years, and no one would venture a guess on her prognosis. She couldn't speak at all. The words were in her brain, but she couldn't express herself verbally. She also had gait issues, as well as sensory issues. The therapists only said that she was "syndromey". It was a scary time, especially because it was in the earliest stage of the internet, so we really couldn't get a lot of information. Preschool was tough because we were turned down by almost every school. I finally found one that would accept her. I am only saying all of this to give you some perspective. We recently attended a fundraiser dinner at her place of employment (she's in her early 30s). She is the associate executive director at a non-profit, and part of her duties during this event was speaking to the entire group, which she did with ease. I admit, I cried. I remember those years of uncertainty, wondering what her future would look like. I never imagined that this is what it would look like - speaking fluently in public, respected in her field. No one knew how hard she worked to get to this point. It was an emotional moment for me and it made me reflect on the past. I can't get over how well things turned out. This was better than I had ever hoped for.

You are in the thick of it, and maybe the worst of it. You are at the beginning of the journey and it will be a while before you know where this journey will take Connor. All that you can do at this point is to do what you can do. Don't spend too much time worrying about the future because it will take your energy away from now.

Thanks for letting me know your experiences. Gives me inspiration and hope.

 

[Grammarhero]

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
my daughter had severe speech problems, I won’t go into details of the many years of therapy and worries, but she has three masters degrees and a good job which includes a lot of talking now. The days are long but the years go fast.

I hope Connor can be successful too.

 

[CalGalTraveler]

Merry Christmas. I am sorry to hear about Connor's DX. It is good it is mild.

Connor is fortunate because he has parents like you who will support, love and advocate for him. Because of this he will have a bright future.

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Merry Christmas @Grammarhero - thank you for sharing your update and the beautiful pictures of Connor. Your a wonderful parent and he is so lucky to have you. I hope you have a wonderful New Year and that you are able to take many timeshare trips in the future with Connor.

 

[silentg]

Happy New Year! Photos are wonderful!

 

[TheTimeTraveler]

@Grammarhero great photos! But I miss seeing the little dog......

Happy Holidays!










.

 

[DaveNV]

Despite the challenges, you need to love them just as much. Sometimes all they'll remember is the love.

Dave

 

[Grammarhero]

@Grammarhero great photos! But I miss seeing the little dog......

Happy Holidays!










.

They are play buddies. Jester actually does a better job of not playing with Connor’s toys then vice versa.

 

[joestein]

Good evening,
Miss you all. Unfortunately, Connor was diagnosed with mild autism or Asberger syndrome. He has delayed speaking, solitary play, and sensory sensitivity issues. He’s cute and sweet, but hard to take care of. We know when he wants to hug us or be carried, he really loves us!

I have greater respect for parents and caretakers of special needs children and disabled adults. It’s been hard and frustrating at times. The normal strategies and advice that work with most toddlers don’t always work with ASD toddlers. I am sleeping a bit better, as Connor isn’t playing past midnight as much.

This past weekend, we took him on his first timeshare trip! Before, he didn’t take roadtrips well. But he enjoyed the beach and ocean. We will take him to Williamsburg, Shenandoah, Massanutten, Virginia Beach, outer banks, and other places within five hours of DC. I appreciate this message board helping me provide great memories for my family.

Connor starts special ed preschool at 3 years old. We hope after a year, he can attend mainstream preschool with supports. Anyhow, here are some pics of the fam and Connor’s first timeshare trip.

WE had twin girls in 2003 - they were born a month early and extremely low birth weight. They struggled to meet their milestones - they didn't sit up for almost a year and didn't start creeping for 1.5 years or standing until 2. We signed them up for early pre-school - but the school rejected them after a few weeks saying they were not capable of providing the education/service they need. They were never specifically diagnosed with Aspergers, but they appear to be slightly on the spectrum.

We then tried to bring in the NJ department that deals with kids who have severe delays. That was a disaster - they told us the kids have extremely low IQ and might not ever speak. We were upset to say the least.

When they turned 3 - we were able to get them to attend school at township's early education center in a special ed type class. It was good for them. Eventually when they were of the age for first grade - they went to the local elementary school in a special ed class. Danny was able to go in to a regular education class with a 2nd teach assistant for 2nd grade and lizzie did it for 3rd grade. They did ok in elementary and middle school. We tried to ensure they got the best support available through the school - speech therapy and anything else they could get.

They went to HS and did ok/good - made the honor roll occasionally in regular classes - however did get extra time for test regularly - including SATs. I believe they both got around 1100 -1150 on SATs with extra time.

Both went to community college - Danny did pretty good - graduating with 3.1 in 3 years. There was a noticeable improvement in her grades after about 1.5 years. She finally 'got it'. Lizzy is still in school on her 4th year - will probably graduate next year. She struggles for decent grades when taking a normal load of classes and now takes only 1 or 2 per semester - still has average in low 2s.

They both drive (both have had accidents - they do not drive as well as I would like them to). They both work as cashiers. However, they are lacking socially. They do not have a lot of friends - mostly each other. They do have a couple of good friends, but they don't do the things that friends should do. They don't reach out like they should to see how they are doing. Sometimes they go months without speaking to them.

Danny wanted to go to Kean University and join their Public Architecture program. She has the grades, but they judge your portolio as well and was not accepted. I have asked her what she will do to try to improve her chances of getting in next year, but she hasn't really done anything. She has also tried to get a job using CAD or something like that. She had an interview, but it didn't go anywhere.

So, it is some success and some disappointment. I try to love them and be understanding (not so easy - I have no patience). I try to treat them as my child not my friend. My wife babies them in many ways, which is not helpful, and we can argue about it. But overall, they are way ahead of how I thought they might turn out based upon the earliest assessments and still evolving each day.

 

[rapmarks]

When my daughter was four, a big time speech professor spoke at the School where I taught. I told her about my daughter and she has this big smile and says oh she will never learn to read. That’s okay, Nelson Rockefeller couldn’t read either. I was in tears. And it was wrong, she did read although she struggled for a long time.

 

[easyrider]

I hope Connor can be successful too.

All of us do too. Nice family pictures. Happy New Year !!!

Bill