T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
An update of a topic first discussed here about five or six years ago.
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CURRENT STATUS OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE CAT-BUTTERED BREAD SINGULARITY FOR ENERGY GENERATION
The Basic Principle of a Cat-Buttered Hybrid Generator System
In recent years, increasing research has been devoted to the unusual and interesting physical properties associated with the phenomenon commonly known as the “Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity”. A Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity is deceptively simple to create – a slice of buttered bread is simply strapped to the back of a cat and the cat is dropped in a free fall. Although this seems prosaic, this arrangement instantly creates a conflict between two immutable physical laws, the laws that buttered bread must land buttered side down and that a dropped cat must land on its feet. The conflict results in an instant singularity, or rip, in the fabric of the time-space continuum, which exposes a number of physical properties that are ordinarily closed to the portion of the universe we typically experience.
The most obvious effect noted is an anti-gravity effect. To prevent violation of either law, the cat simply stops falling and remains suspended in air, creating a rather simple and elegant anti-gravity system. Because of the simplicity of this phenomenon and its obvious direct commercial applications, most of the research conducted to date on Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity has focused on potential uses in space travel.
In addition to this anti-gravity effect, however, the cat-bread construct displays a very intriguing physical instability – the cat-bread hybrid cannot maintain a stable physical position. If the cat’s feet point down, the bread immediately inverts the system so that if the system fell, the buttered side of the bread would be down. But then the cat immediately rights itself so that the cat will land on its feet. This causes to the bread to again invert the system, buttered side down, following which the cat turns over so that it’s feet are down. The net effect is that the cat/bread system continuously alternates the side that points down as the system hovers in the area. If the system can be harnessed to produce rotational energy, there is the potential to deliver useful energy with no fuel combustion. Given concerns about global warming and limiting the emission of greenhouse gases, this characteristic of the Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity is receiving great attention.
Technical Difficulties in Developing a Cat-Buttered Bread Hybrid Energy System
Practical usage of cat-buttered bread hybrids for energy generation has been hampered by several technical issues.
1. System stability
2. Capturing power from the system
3. Control systems
Optimizing the Cat
As you may have gathered, the value of the carpet establishes the practical upper bound on the amount of energy that can be created. Also, as might be expected, certain types of cats are better suited for this use than others.
Recent work by Professor Katarina "Kat" Tigris at the University of Auckland has established that, with the fur difficulties solved, Persian cats are the best overall breed for direct electricity generation. Persian rugs are also the most valuable rugs to use in the CCS. Because of their breeding and history, Persian cats are particularly aware of the value of Persian rugs, so there is a synergistic effect from using Persian cats and Persian rugs.
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Geopolitical Implications of Cat-Buttered Bread Hybrid Energy Generation
It has become apparent to many of us involved in this research that the mass public belief that countries are interested in the Middle East because of oil reserves is a major misperception. The bigger issue is ensuring access to adequate supplies of Persian cats and Persian rugs. The large multi-national oil companies, with complicit assistance from many government officials are quite content to let the public fret about oil supplies, because that diverts people’s attention from cats while they corner the market on Persian cat capture and breeding.
Furthermore, animal rights organizations such as PETA are shortsightedly obstructing critical research, forcing researchers underground and to locations outside of the US. Unwittingly or not, they are fostering continuing dependence on dwindling fossil fuels, rather than abundant feline fuels.
If the US does not act decisively to foster and develop our nascent cat-bread industrial base, our children will face a second-class future in both energy development and space travel. That would truly be a travesty. So contact your elected officials and do everything you can to support these efforts.
************
CURRENT STATUS OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE CAT-BUTTERED BREAD SINGULARITY FOR ENERGY GENERATION
The Basic Principle of a Cat-Buttered Hybrid Generator System
In recent years, increasing research has been devoted to the unusual and interesting physical properties associated with the phenomenon commonly known as the “Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity”. A Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity is deceptively simple to create – a slice of buttered bread is simply strapped to the back of a cat and the cat is dropped in a free fall. Although this seems prosaic, this arrangement instantly creates a conflict between two immutable physical laws, the laws that buttered bread must land buttered side down and that a dropped cat must land on its feet. The conflict results in an instant singularity, or rip, in the fabric of the time-space continuum, which exposes a number of physical properties that are ordinarily closed to the portion of the universe we typically experience.
The most obvious effect noted is an anti-gravity effect. To prevent violation of either law, the cat simply stops falling and remains suspended in air, creating a rather simple and elegant anti-gravity system. Because of the simplicity of this phenomenon and its obvious direct commercial applications, most of the research conducted to date on Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity has focused on potential uses in space travel.
In addition to this anti-gravity effect, however, the cat-bread construct displays a very intriguing physical instability – the cat-bread hybrid cannot maintain a stable physical position. If the cat’s feet point down, the bread immediately inverts the system so that if the system fell, the buttered side of the bread would be down. But then the cat immediately rights itself so that the cat will land on its feet. This causes to the bread to again invert the system, buttered side down, following which the cat turns over so that it’s feet are down. The net effect is that the cat/bread system continuously alternates the side that points down as the system hovers in the area. If the system can be harnessed to produce rotational energy, there is the potential to deliver useful energy with no fuel combustion. Given concerns about global warming and limiting the emission of greenhouse gases, this characteristic of the Cat-Buttered Bread Singularity is receiving great attention.
Technical Difficulties in Developing a Cat-Buttered Bread Hybrid Energy System
Practical usage of cat-buttered bread hybrids for energy generation has been hampered by several technical issues.
1. System stability
In the earliest applications, the cats would randomly switch between spinning continuously versus oscillating. That problem was solved by cutting the paws off of the cat’s feet one side of the cat. After the paws are removed on one side of the cat, the cat will always spin toward the side on which it’s feet still have paws.
2. Capturing power from the system
A second problem, not yet completely solved, involves actually capturing the power generated by the cat-bread mechanical system. The first technical evaluations of cat-bread generators did not consider this to be a problem because as the cat spun, the centripetal forces generated by the rotation naturally caused the cat’s tail to lengthen and stiffen along the axis of rotation. The cat’s tail could then be used as a rotating shaft, and power obtained by direct coupling the tail to a mechanical drive.
Unfortunately, the limitations of using a cat's tail as a drive shaft were immediately apparent. Research laboratories soon filled with felines that looked like Manx cats missing two paws. Disposal of used cats was clearly an insurmountable obstacle unless the technology was significantly improved.
The next effort involved attaching windings to the cat's tail and using the cat’s tail as the generator shaft. This posed less mechanical strain on the tail, and increased the life of cat's tail by about one order of magnitude. This application, however, also involved locating some critical bearings in a portion of the cat’s anatomy where the bearings were exposed to highly alkaline and concentrated organic nitrogen solutions. The exposure conditions became exponentially more severe as the speed of rotation increased to levels necessary for commercial applications. Moreover, the presence of cat fur proved completely unsuitable, causing frequent shorts in the windings, and an occasional large corona discharge.
Recent advances in materials science have solved the bearing corrosion problems. The current generation of thermosetting formable Kevlar resins appears adequate to withstand the combinations of salt, alkalinity, and organic nitrogen present in the cat’s tail environment.
Significant progress has also been made in solving the problems of cat fur interfering with generator windings. Presently the most practical approach is simply to dunk the entire cat in a tub of varnish to bind the fur. In extreme applications, where a varnish treatment might not be adequate, immersing the cat in Super Glue or an epoxy binder has been effective.
Unfortunately, the limitations of using a cat's tail as a drive shaft were immediately apparent. Research laboratories soon filled with felines that looked like Manx cats missing two paws. Disposal of used cats was clearly an insurmountable obstacle unless the technology was significantly improved.
The next effort involved attaching windings to the cat's tail and using the cat’s tail as the generator shaft. This posed less mechanical strain on the tail, and increased the life of cat's tail by about one order of magnitude. This application, however, also involved locating some critical bearings in a portion of the cat’s anatomy where the bearings were exposed to highly alkaline and concentrated organic nitrogen solutions. The exposure conditions became exponentially more severe as the speed of rotation increased to levels necessary for commercial applications. Moreover, the presence of cat fur proved completely unsuitable, causing frequent shorts in the windings, and an occasional large corona discharge.
Recent advances in materials science have solved the bearing corrosion problems. The current generation of thermosetting formable Kevlar resins appears adequate to withstand the combinations of salt, alkalinity, and organic nitrogen present in the cat’s tail environment.
Significant progress has also been made in solving the problems of cat fur interfering with generator windings. Presently the most practical approach is simply to dunk the entire cat in a tub of varnish to bind the fur. In extreme applications, where a varnish treatment might not be adequate, immersing the cat in Super Glue or an epoxy binder has been effective.
3. Control systems
A final problem has been devising an effective control system for the cat-bread system. While the cat-bread system did spin continuously once the paw removal solution was identified, the rate of spinning and the torque generated fluctuated erratically.
Researchers at Purdue, led by the eminent Dr. Leon Gatos, noted, however, that there is a direct correlation between the attraction of buttered bread for a floor and the quality of the carpet on the floor – the more expensive the carpet, the stronger the attraction for the butter. The attraction can generally be represented as the sum of three terms: a constant attractive force, a term that varies inversely with the distance from the floor, and a second order term related to the value of the carpet on the floor, or:
where C, K1, and K2 are empirically-derived constants, d is the distance to the floor, v is the value of the carpet, and A is the attractive force.
The Gatos team exploits this principal by obtaining carpets that grade continuously from cheap outdoor AstroTurf to 12th century hand-woven and tied Persian rugs. The cat-bread system is then activated over the graded carpet. The energy output is continuously monitored, and used to control the position of the carpet. If energy output declines, the carpet is moved so that more expensive carpeting is under the cat, causing energy output to increase. Conversely, when energy output increases unacceptably, the carpet shifts position so that less expensive carpeting is under the cat-bread system, resulting in less output. By carefully controlling the response time of the control system, the energy output is quite stable.
The CCS (carpet control system) also readily adapts to fluctuating energy demand. If energy demand changes, the system simply adjusts the carpet underneath the cat to match energy output with demand. The CCS is so responsive that, when fully deployed, cat-bread generators will easily meet peaking requirements, allowing other energy sources to provide base load.
As you can tell, this has been a promising research endeavor. There is also great interest in the possibilities of genetic engineering to create a better cat for this application. Pharmaceutical companies are also looking for drugs that might have a Viagra-like effect on cat’s tails. These efforts are still in the early stages.
Researchers at Purdue, led by the eminent Dr. Leon Gatos, noted, however, that there is a direct correlation between the attraction of buttered bread for a floor and the quality of the carpet on the floor – the more expensive the carpet, the stronger the attraction for the butter. The attraction can generally be represented as the sum of three terms: a constant attractive force, a term that varies inversely with the distance from the floor, and a second order term related to the value of the carpet on the floor, or:
A = C +K1/d + K2*v^2
where C, K1, and K2 are empirically-derived constants, d is the distance to the floor, v is the value of the carpet, and A is the attractive force.
The Gatos team exploits this principal by obtaining carpets that grade continuously from cheap outdoor AstroTurf to 12th century hand-woven and tied Persian rugs. The cat-bread system is then activated over the graded carpet. The energy output is continuously monitored, and used to control the position of the carpet. If energy output declines, the carpet is moved so that more expensive carpeting is under the cat, causing energy output to increase. Conversely, when energy output increases unacceptably, the carpet shifts position so that less expensive carpeting is under the cat-bread system, resulting in less output. By carefully controlling the response time of the control system, the energy output is quite stable.
The CCS (carpet control system) also readily adapts to fluctuating energy demand. If energy demand changes, the system simply adjusts the carpet underneath the cat to match energy output with demand. The CCS is so responsive that, when fully deployed, cat-bread generators will easily meet peaking requirements, allowing other energy sources to provide base load.
As you can tell, this has been a promising research endeavor. There is also great interest in the possibilities of genetic engineering to create a better cat for this application. Pharmaceutical companies are also looking for drugs that might have a Viagra-like effect on cat’s tails. These efforts are still in the early stages.
Optimizing the Cat
As you may have gathered, the value of the carpet establishes the practical upper bound on the amount of energy that can be created. Also, as might be expected, certain types of cats are better suited for this use than others.
Recent work by Professor Katarina "Kat" Tigris at the University of Auckland has established that, with the fur difficulties solved, Persian cats are the best overall breed for direct electricity generation. Persian rugs are also the most valuable rugs to use in the CCS. Because of their breeding and history, Persian cats are particularly aware of the value of Persian rugs, so there is a synergistic effect from using Persian cats and Persian rugs.
*********
Geopolitical Implications of Cat-Buttered Bread Hybrid Energy Generation
It has become apparent to many of us involved in this research that the mass public belief that countries are interested in the Middle East because of oil reserves is a major misperception. The bigger issue is ensuring access to adequate supplies of Persian cats and Persian rugs. The large multi-national oil companies, with complicit assistance from many government officials are quite content to let the public fret about oil supplies, because that diverts people’s attention from cats while they corner the market on Persian cat capture and breeding.
Furthermore, animal rights organizations such as PETA are shortsightedly obstructing critical research, forcing researchers underground and to locations outside of the US. Unwittingly or not, they are fostering continuing dependence on dwindling fossil fuels, rather than abundant feline fuels.
If the US does not act decisively to foster and develop our nascent cat-bread industrial base, our children will face a second-class future in both energy development and space travel. That would truly be a travesty. So contact your elected officials and do everything you can to support these efforts.
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