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Anyone else "foster" dogs? DD is growing too attached.

senorak

senorak

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We became a "foster family" for a local dog rescue because of my 10 year old daughter. She is a huge dog lover---collects funds for the local rescue, (her own idea "Pennies for Puppies" raised almost $200 among family/friends), has her room filled w/ dog books, posters, stuffed animals, etc., and for her bday, asks for donations/goods to be given to the rescue. We actually started fostering due to a posting last summer here on TUG, suggesting becoming a "foster family" when the regular foster family goes on vacation. Then, we became more "full time";however, only taking in one dog at a time, since we already have one fulltime pet of our own (and we work/go to school during the day). Most of our "foster dogs" have stayed a week or two...and then continued on to their "forever homes".
About a month ago, we received a (very chubby) chihuahua...who immediately became attached to my daughter. He follows her around wherever she goes, sleeps w/ her...and "cries" if she is out of his sight. Of course, she has become just as enamored of him. We thought he was adopted on 3 different occasions...and each time, the adoption falls through (for various reasons). My daughter is begging me to adopt Jester....BUT...we entered into the program as a foster family only....not with the intention of adding (permanently) to our pets. Plus, my DH really does not want another pet. The other two children (ages 16 and 9) would prefer to continue being foster parents...allowing a variety of dogs to pass through our home (and hearts).
My daughter goes through an emotional rollercoaster each time she thinks the dog is being taken to a permanent home. And I feel so guilty...as she obviously loves this dog with all her heart. How do other "foster families" deal with the "comings and goings" of the dogs? The other two foster dogs we had only stayed a short time; but his dog is now into his second month.

DEB
 
I foster kittens, not dogs. There are some kitties that tear me up to give back to the shelter to be adopted into forever homes. Some, not so much. I just always know that there will be another cutie coming at some point. Sometimes we mourn for a few days, then another baby comes along and we fall in love again. I sympathize with your daughter. Good luck and thank you for the wonderful work you do with these animals!
 
I foster pets for our local shelter as well. I think if you manage not to
end up adopting at least one, you'll be in the minority! So far I have
managed to find good homes for all the dogs that have passed through
my house, but I have a rabbit and a cat that started as fosters and never
left! (And I wouldn't trade either of them for anything). I worry a little
about children fostering-I have a friend who also fosters and she had to
stop because her children were getting too upset when the pets left ( but
they were a bit younger than your daughter.) If you can't find a really
great home for the little dog, I'd let her keep him :)
 
This may not help but I think your 10 year old is an exceptional person. Most children her age are not doing
the charitable work she is doing. I think she needs the dog and he needs her. To take the dog from her may send the wrong message. She deserves a reward and Jester is it!
 
I agree that the 10yo is an unusual kid, and I'm afraid that if you don't adopt Jester, you and she will regret it. He sounds like the perfect dog for you and it seems like it was really meant to be. Isn't it unusual for THREE adoptions to fall through?
 
How timely!

We foster kittens and usually they are only in the house for a day or three and normally in multiples from 3 to 5. This time we got a "solo" bottle baby and he has been here for a week. Both my son and I have fallen for him big time.

It is so much easier when there are many as we couldn't keep all; but "one" how hard is just "one" more to keep....He is smart and very friendly and has taken to my 11 year old son, who loves animals. My cranky old tabby is not thrilled in the least. DH is not overly enamored either (but I have caught him laughing at the kitten's antics).

A child, especially a child who goes out of their way to assist animals by raising money for the cause may just have met their "special" friend.

I'll let you know how things go here if you let me know how things go there.
 
Think about your decision going both routes.

If you don't adopt Jester --what are the chances you'll really regret it. (Pretty big, I'd guess!!).

If you do adopt Jester--what are the chances you'll regret it (do you see yourself saying--we really regret adopting Jester--not too likely ;) )

I think a lot of us are really pulling for your special daughter!! (and Jester...)
 
Deb,

My vote is to keep jester.

In the end, if you break their hearts, you'll break your own heart as well.....:(
 
I am adding in my vote for keeping the dog as well.

Looking at it from another side besides your daughter.........what about the poor dog? He has undoubtedly been through hell and back and has found what he sees as his security blanket and his savior all in one, in your daughter!

PLEASE, for both of their sakes, let him stay.
 
cindi said:
I am adding in my vote for keeping the dog as well.

Looking at it from another side besides your daughter.........what about the poor dog? He has undoubtedly been through hell and back and has found what he sees as his security blanket and his savior all in one, in your daughter!

PLEASE, for both of their sakes, let him stay.
Click to expand...
I also found myself feeling that the dog was the real potential victim as well. While a human can (eventually) be made to understand why something unpleasant occurs an animal only knows he has been abandoned. It's not fair to you guys , as you thought this was a temporary situation, but it really sounds like this dog and your daughter have bonded. I certainly "vote" (as if I had any right to make a decision like this for a distant family) for letting the dog become a family member. Take it for what it's worth and let us all know what you decide.
 
You gotta live with your daughter

If your daughter is really attached to this dog you have to consider the trauma of living with a seriously heartbroken child. As a parent you have the power to seperate her from her pet but you are also stuck with the consequences. Go see Romeo and Julliet for an examle. Be glad it's a four legged criter she has fallen in love with.

In three years she will be a teenager and things get much more difficult to negotiate. Be reasonable now and reap the rewards later. You don't need an alienated or depressed child. Negotiate a deal with her to keep the pup, go on fostering but not to keep another foster dog. Be glad it isn't a great dane.
 
Okay, Okay....the white "surrender flag" is now waving. :wave: :wave:
Seriously, the little chihuahua, (misnomer, since he's quite the "butterball"), has grown on all of us...even DH (tho he would be the last to admit it). I was torn between sticking to our agreement of just being a foster family...the old adage "If you love something you must let it go free....yada yada"----and just saying "the h*** with it" and adopting Jester. Then, I realized that we did try (3x) to get Jester into another home...and for some reason, all 3 fell through. Now, I'm not a religious person...but someone (or something) in the universe may just be trying to send a signal our way. ;) So, I just sent an email off to the rescuer....expressing our interest in adopting Jester. Didn't say anything to my daugher yet...just in case a 4th home has already been found (in the meantime). I'll let you know how it turns out.

DEB
 
WONDERFUL!!

I really hope Jester gets to stay. It does sound like it is meant to be.
 
So now it's time to consult your vet about putting jester on a diet and gradually increasing his exercise. Congratulation!
 
Congratulations! I'm sure Jester will bring you many years of love, and will be a great blessing to your daughter and whole family. I hope your other kids don't start looking at your next fosters as potential family members, though!

We've had over 100 foster kitties in the last 3 years and managed to say no to adopting. I think my love for travel keeps me from bringing another animal into our home. It's hard enough getting someone to take care of our 2 8-year-old cats and the fish when we vacation. When these guys are gone, that's it for us and pets!

Lawren2, you mention you only have the fosters for a few days. I foster through a shelter and have them anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months, depending on their size and health. I'd think your quick turn-around would be harder, practicality-wise. Do you just pick up strays and take them in? I'm curious how it's done elsewhere.
 
Mel3PO said:
This may not help but I think your 10 year old is an exceptional person. Most children her age are not doing
the charitable work she is doing. I think she needs the dog and he needs her. To take the dog from her may send the wrong message. She deserves a reward and Jester is it!
Click to expand...
I agree with you. I would keep this dog for your daughter as she will really feel depressed after the dog is gone. The dog is obviously meant for her. I could never part with my animals even after this one has ruined our house. I am so glad that my DH feels the same way. He had an opportunity to work in China but turned it down because of our animals. They have given us so much love over the years. I am glad that you ask our opinion but the final decision is with you. Good luck.

PS. Deb, I just read now your decision and hope that the dog was not adopted again. Your daughter will be so happy and she deserves it. What a wonderful daughter you have! :) Please, let us know the outcome of this.
 
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update to foster dog

I heard back from the woman who runs the rescue....we are free to adopt Jester! :whoopie:
I'm sending my daughter an email card...with a picture of Jester with the "thought bubble" stating that he has found his "forever home" with her. I'm waiting to hear the "scream of excitement" when she reads her email. I did tell her that I talked to the woman...and she mentioned that another family has shown interest in Jester. DD's reply? "I just know that this adoption will fall through like all the others...because Jester belongs w/ me". Guess she was right!
His adoption fee is a bit steep...but, the rescue does need to recoup their fees for the vet bills. DD had already stated she would help to pay for him (if we adopted him)...and I will take her up on her offer (only a small portion of the fee).
I still intend to be involved with the rescue....just have to stand my ground of "no more permanent pets" after Jester!
BTW...he has lost some weight in the month since we've had him. I did find a bit more re: background. His first home was "abusive"; and a family w/ children took him in. Unfortunately, although they "loved him"; they didn't take very good care of him.....was fed cat food (constantly) and didn't get much exercise. No wonder he has become so attached to my daughter!
Thank you all for your support!

DEB
 
Re: update to foster dog

What a great idea to send her the email card with a picture of Jester. I wished I could see her face when she opens it. You are a great Mom. :)
 
whew. I was the one that suggested fostering in the summertime to help out. It's exciting to hear that you've continued to do it.

I'm surprised they're making you pay the full adoption fee. Have you ever spent any of your own money on food, vet care, chewies, etc for the fosters? If so, I would ask them to reduce the fee.

And who knows? Maybe you'll go back to fostering even with 2 permanent dogs. :whoopie:
 
Well, it would be nice if I received a "discount" on the adoption fee...but, I've seen the "revolving bill" that the rescuer has at the local vet---(Devon donated the $$ she collected via her "Pennies for Puppies" campaign)---and I can understand why she charges such a high fee for adoption. It's not a price for the dog; but rather trying to recoup some of her costs. Plus, Devon will be paying part of the fee out of her money (saved from chores/holidays, etc.)---so that does help.
I have a feeling we will continue to foster dogs. Now that I (we) have firsthand knowledge of the difference that we can make in the life of the dog, we want to continue to help find good homes for the animals. Plus, I want my kids to give back to their community----and this has made a huge difference in their lives.
Will post pictures....as soon as someone tells me how to do that?

DEB
 
How is Jester doing?

How is it working out at you house for Jester? Hope you daughter is happy.I sort of got hooked on the soap opera aspect of the story ad keep wondering how it turned out. Update?
 
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Jester is truly one of the family. He is still very attached to my daughter. If she is not home, he runs from room to room, looking for her. And if I come in the door after work/school, and DD is not with me, he runs outside and circles the yard, trying to find her. The minute she walks in the door, he runs to her, tail wagging and so excited to see her. If she wanders out of his sight, he "whines" (cries like a baby, is more like it). I've never seen anything like it. Don't know how he will react when we are in HHI and Sedona for our two TS vacations during the summer.
We haven't taken in another foster dog since we adopted Jester, but DD is still working with the rescue to collect money, (her "Pennies for Puppies" campaign). We may take in a foster dog again during the summer (when we are home full-time). Of course, if my contact at the rescue organization had an "urgent need" for a foster home, I'm sure we'd help out anytime. ;)

DEB
 
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