Leaving for mini weekend vacation but kind pissed off

[breezez]

I am thankful for having a great job that pays well, and for my wife having one also.

But man do you get taken advantage of a salaried person. One of my employees is out after having emergency surgery so I have been doing his work and my normal tasks for the last two weeks working 13 hours M-F Last week and again this week. To get caught up enough where I can take 2 work days off.

My wife works 9-10 hours most days, but so we could take off for Thur/Friday this week she had to work Sunday from home, MLK day worked from home all day even though holiday at her company. So tonight it’s now 9:30pm. 4.5 hours later than wife typically works and she is still at work trying to get stuff done. So she can afford to take the two days off for vacation on Thursday and Friday.

So for me work 65 hours last week 36 this week so far so I can take 16 hours of vacation.

Wife 50 hours last week and 36 this week so far so she can take 16 hours vacation this week. The real rub here we are going to take extended vacation in August and wife paid 1 week of her salary to get 1 more week of vacation.

So my gripe is - While I am a capitalist thru and thru there should be some sort of limit on just how enduring employers can be to there salaried employees.

The sad part is I have always been a salaried employee my entire life Starting with the Navy.... And now a couple decades in manufacturing.

 

[DaveNV]

I hear you, and totally agree. I'm salaried as well, but as I have no kids at home, I'm last on the list when it comes to getting any kind of preferential slack from my Manager. If I ask for a day off, it's like he takes it personally, and like it's coming out of his pocket. (It's not.) My coworkers who have kids at home are allowed to adjust work schedules at will to fit sports or doctor appointment schedules. They're allowed to work from home if they have a sick kid. If I ask to work from home, I have to have an ironclad reason before it'll be approved. Last time it took a failed refrigerator dumping water all over my new hardwood floors. Makes me feel like he doesn't trust me, even though I've been with the company longer than him, and my six immediate team members.

Where I do get them back, however, is scheduling my vacations nearly a year in advance. I submit a written calendar of exactly which days I want, and I do it so far in advance, nobody is ahead of me on the schedule. They can't tell me No, unless I ask for time during a major company evolution of some kind. The coworkers with the kids usually use up their PTO time a day at a time, and rarely are able to take off longer periods.

I see my impending retirement not as the end of a career, but as the beginning of my emotional freedom.

Enjoy your days off, Shipmate!

Dave

 

[bogey21]

Depends how much you like your job. For almost 2 years I would leave my house at 5am and not get home until 9 or 10 pm Monday through Friday. On Saturday it would be 5 am until 3 or 4 pm and on Sunday 5 am until about Noon. That's when I was not out of town. The only exceptions I made to this was to take time off to coach my Son and Daughters sports teams. I would even fly back to Dallas from Washington or New York to coach a game. When I interrupted this regimen to take the family on vacation I would be in constant contact with the office. And know what? No one made me do it and I loved every minute of it...

George

 

[breezez]

I hear you, and totally agree. I'm salaried as well, but as I have no kids at home, I'm last on the list when it comes to getting any kind of preferential slack from my Manager. If I ask for a day off, it's like he takes it personally, and like it's coming out of his pocket. (It's not.) My coworkers who have kids at home are allowed to adjust work schedules at will to fit sports or doctor appointment schedules. They're allowed to work from home if they have a sick kid. If I ask to work from home, I have to have an ironclad reason before it'll be approved. Last time it took a failed refrigerator dumping water all over my new hardwood floors. Makes me feel like he doesn't trust me, even though I've been with the company longer than him, and my six immediate team members.

Where I do get them back, however, is scheduling my vacations nearly a year in advance. I submit a written calendar of exactly which days I want, and I do it so far in advance, nobody is ahead of me on the schedule. They can't tell me No, unless I ask for time during a major company evolution of some kind. The coworkers with the kids usually use up their PTO time a day at a time, and rarely are able to take off longer periods.

I see my impending retirement not as the end of a career, but as the beginning of my emotional freedom.

Enjoy your days off, Shipmate!

Dave

Same boat on the vacation, I have never had an issue taking day I wanted. But you do have to double down and get a bunch accomplished so you can leave.

 

[geist1223]

Prior to retiring 6 years ago I always schedule my vacations 1 year or more in advance. This was due to Timesharing and my Boss loved it so he could schedule Road Trips. My Boss also belonged to WMTC. I also learned to take 2 weeks. If I only took 1 week then the person watching my Desk would let it pile up after all Tom will be back next week. If I was gone 2 weeks the person watching my Desk had to handle it. But it always seemed like I had to work 70 hour weeks for the 2 weeks before I left and for 2 weeks after I got back. But I loved my Job so it was ok. I also had a problem not signing onto my work account from where ever in the world. Patti will yell at me. So I only did it from 4am to 6am local time.

 

[Panina]

I was always salaried too. I loved my work and did it well but it seemed the better you are the more they expect.

When I gave my resignation to retire they were stunned as I was only 52. I told them I want a social life and this job doesn’t allow it. I had lost my husband 3 years prior. All of a sudden they said take a leave of absence and you can take more time off.

It was the right choice, I met my current partner two weeks after I left my job at a social event on a Sunday afternoon, a day I would have been working.

 

[Talent312]

Where I worked, no one did my work, old or new, while I was gone.
On my return, my desk would be covered with stuff yet to be done.
It did not pay to take time off, except in one respect: mental sanity.
.

 

[geekette]

I had to start travelling internationally in order to not be called on my days off. Turns out, frugal employers won't pay for international calls.

I also am childless by choice and therefore was chosen to be the grand compromiser. Weird how that works. Hey, I don't mind being the one working Christmas Eve, so long as it isn't Every Christmas Eve. I turned down a job that would have had required Christmas Day every year. I don't have family here so I would never have had Christmas with family. That's a serious life intrusion, while I would have accepted working every Thanksgiving. Nope, not taking that job. IT is expected to be 24x7 without end and I draw the line at mandatory holiday work. The way they explained the job, it didn't make any sense to report on Christmas Day. Not like it was critical ops, it was reporting. sheesh, the data will still be there the day after Christmas. If a CEO wants to review data on Christmas Day then let's give her the ability to pull her own reports. SIMPLE.

Employers hold the cards now and too many employees play along so the demands just get more and more excessive. I have long held the mindset that everything is a choice. I have left jobs because my choice was to say "No, I don't Have To, and I Won't." I have gone to the top of the company to explain how a new policy is seriously anti-employee and I won't stand for it. Worth a discussion before I walk. Sometimes the top of the heap doesn't see how things land after they roll downhill. The pawns aren't always considered to be human beings with actual lives outside the workplace.

While it is said that everyone has a price, I disagree. What I have is boundaries.

I hope you have the best weekend ever. You have quite earned it.

 

[WinniWoman]

Let's face it- when you work for someone-they own you. And in the private sector you don't have unions behind you for the most part. Top it off with working in an "at will" employer state and you are essentially screwed. Keep your head down and do what they say. Don't question anything or make any suggestions or requests. I Robot.

Sometimes I would joke around and walk into my office dragging my leg to simulate a ball and chain. LOL!

Don't even get me started......

Try to get through it and collect your money and hope to retire as soon as you can. Either that or brave it and quit. It stinks for sure.

Have a good, well earned weekend vacation.

 

[WinniWoman]

Where I worked, no one did my work, old or new, while I was gone.
On my return, my desk would be covered with stuff yet to be done.
It did not pay to take time off, except in one respect: mental sanity.
.

That's right. You suffer for it if you dare to take some time off.

 

[bogey21]

Let's face it- when you work for someone-they own you.

I disagree. One has the option to quit which I did 3 times during my working career, never with rancor but with class...

George

 

[Phydeaux]

Unemployment is at record lows. If you’re not happy, find a different job.
They’re out there.

 

[pedro47]

I was salaried for 34 years and I worked 9 to 12 hours days sometimes. I did not feel owned by my employer. Now I am just a retired senior citizen and happy to be here. I have a good pension plan and a good hospitalization plan.

I retired at the age of 54. Life have been good. Overall Health is fine. To the OP, I never could take two (2) consecutive weeks off for vacation until I had retired. I worked all the federal/national holidays for 34 years.

Did I become upset sometimes? Yes! Do you remember Y2000? I had to returned back worked on the night of 12.31.1999 from 10PM to 1AM. I had to return back to work on 12.31.1999 and on 01.01.2000. There Were No Computer Malfunctions or Problems in the Office . Then I had to returned back to work on the morning of 1.1.2000 at 5AM to 7AM to check the office for Computer Malfunctions and Problems. There was not one computer malfunction or problem any where in the office.

What did I missed? The celebration of bringing in the year 2000 with my spouse and family.
To the OP, these little incidents now are happening to make you a stronger person and to help you to enjoy your family and life more. IMHO.

 

[geekette]

Let's face it- when you work for someone-they own you. ...

No, I reject this. I own my life. It is my choice how to live it. I am not a slave. I will not do Anything For Money.

Attempts to put chains on me don't go as expected for the chain holder. I am in an At Will state, which means that I can walk whenever I want just like they can fire me whenever they want. Good thing I feel like that or I might never have made it to the career I loved. I walked out on a con man trying a con that involved screwing with our compensation (again). I left without saying good-bye to anyone and a week later was seemingly under-employed but not picky at recession. Fourteen promotions and 7 years later, I was fixed up before IT was a recognizable acronym. I wouldn't have left had that little company not hit hard times. The company that bought them had zero concern for employees and I just said No.

Look, I know that having marketable skills in a large city gives me a lot more options than others. I also have only me to float, so I continue to make choices for my life vs the bottom line of an employer. Before I had those skills, I still put up with only so much. I left a fast food job that said I couldn't take off the 2 days I had asked for a month in advance. I took the days off and that was that. It was rare to have friends from across the country visit me and I wasn't going to miss it. I was min wage college student, not hard to find another job, and I did, and spent the rest of my college days at a restaurant that treated me well.

I don't stand for pressure cookers, there is a limit to what a job should expose a worker to. My peaceful enjoyment of my life is always more important than whatever the boss is carping about.

Others are free to do whatever the job says they "Have To" but it's never true that you Have To. Keep your integrity and lose the job. I have done it over and over. Sometimes it was my sanity that required saving.

Please do what suits your life vs your employer. You don't get those days back.

 

[WVBaker]

So my gripe is - While I am a capitalist thru and thru there should be some sort of limit on just how enduring employers can be to there salaried employees.

Only you and you alone can set that limit however, we often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.
Always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat you.

 

[bluehende]

Doesn't the stress of preparing or recovering from your vacation at work negate the joys of vacation. I was lucky. Working in a lab the work didn't get done til I got back. Sometimes there was some emergency that had to be dealt with when I got back, but in general it just pushed back progress one week. Research is nice that way. Even if you have a marketable skill it is hard to leave a job when family depends on you. I had a marketable skill. However it was national not local. I was locked into my current geography due to family commitments. I never felt stuck and enjoyed my job (research can be a little bit too repetitive to love it), but switching jobs would have been a huge commitment. There are a lot of reasons that people feel trapped. There are also a lot of excuses.

 

[bbodb1]

...I see my impending retirement not as the end of a career, but as the beginning of my emotional freedom.

Dave drops the mic!

You are soooo right, sir!
The primary education sector is as bad.....

 

[bbodb1]

Unemployment is at record lows. If you’re not happy, find a different job.
They’re out there.

I agree there are plenty of jobs out there.
I would counter though with this thought - where the good paying jobs and do they have openings?
Where are the jobs that people can make a decent living to be found?

 

[Icc5]

When I was salary and had 2 kids at home I averaged between 70-72 hours a week at work. Was paid the equal as working 48 hours at straight time. Having kids had nothing to do with them changing my vacation time even though vacations were scheduled in the start of every year.
This was working as a manager of a grocery store. I kept hitting new highs (I was in a small store compared to most in the chain) and for getting the new high I would get to go to a lunch and sit in on corporate planning meetings. Each time I would then have to return to my store 40 miles away and put in the long hours. The long hours were because the company would not let me hire any more employees or let me use overtime to cover. The managers of the bigger stores just covered their hours with one of their assistants and went home after the lunch and planning meeting and the meeting time was counted as part of their 48 hours.
I stepped down after 11 months because the store was falling apart and the company was not allowing me to get anything fixed. It turned out that 6 months later a new,huge store was built a few miles away. Nothing had ever been said to me about my treatment or the plans for the new store. If I had waited I would have been moved to a bigger store.
I did what I needed to do to keep my family in tact at the time and still glad I made the decision I did.
A year before that I had been talked about taking a store in Hawaii but turned it down because I already owned my house here and didn't want to relocate. We think I was treated the way I was because of my turning down the move to Hawaii.

 

[klpca]

Interesting thread, and OP I don't blame you at all for being pissed off. It isn't right, but it seems like things got really skewed during the great recession when everyone was desperate to keep their jobs and did whatever it took to stay employed.

Of course, in theory, getting a new job is always an option but sometimes there are extenuating factors - not everyone is in a field with unlimited job possibilities, maybe you are tied to your benefits etc, maybe you are over 50 (a bunch of my friends/spouses over 50 have been laid off - most have just "retired" because they can't get hired anywhere despite extensive work experience). The fact remains that asking or expecting an employee to work 9 or 10 or 12 hour days with no compensation is wrong. You may have to talk to management about this and see if you can make a change at work, or if your only options are leaving or continuing to work under the same conditions.

That said, I ran into a similar situation at work in 2017. I hate, hate, hate confrontation but finally had to confront my boss about this. Facts really helped - I was able to use a report that showed my year on year time (2016/2017) and in 2017 my time worked was up 25% over 2016. This was due to an influx of new clients, not me slowing down. Somehow I knew it but my boss (a pretty hands off guy), had no idea. I came prepared with my wants (bonus only - not a raise, and getting help with the new work). It went so much better than I expected. I got pretty much everything that I wanted. But every situation is different. Still I would not rule out talking to management. With the unemployment rate so low, this is the time to ask - either fewer work hours, comp time, raises etc.

 

[SandyPGravel]

maybe you are tied to your benefits etc, maybe you are over 50

Check, Check

 

[Phydeaux]

I agree there are plenty of jobs out there.
I would counter though with this thought - where the good paying jobs and do they have openings?
Where are the jobs that people can make a decent living to be found?

What is your definition of "good paying jobs"? Rather subjective, wouldn't you agree? Do they have openings? I don't know where you're looking. Have you looked for yourself?

What is your definition of "decent living"? See above. Jobs typically pay based on a person's skill set. Forgive what should be common knowledge, but that's why neurosurgeons earn more than grocery store clerks. Now, before the grocery store clerks take offense, please know none was intended. It was an example to make the point.

Many people in society today believe that a burger flipping job should support a 'decent living'. I'm afraid I disagree with this mentality, and I'm not alone.

 

[Steve Fatula]

I used to also schedule my vacations when I worked salary a year in advance. You would think this would be a good thing planning wise right? Wrong.

Since I was the head IT guy, I always got blamed. So, if I said I was going somewhere July 11 for a week, July would come around, some project would be in motion, or close to install, and, "how could you leave at a time like this". I did not just hear this from my boss, but from most managers all around the company. Never failed, it was always how could I leave when this or that was about to or was happening. I hated that and still do.

I do agree with the sentiment that when you work for someone, they own you. Not completely own of course, you can walk. However, you have to be there at certain times, you can't do what you want, etc. It's a form.

 

[Phydeaux]

I used to also schedule my vacations when I worked salary a year in advance. You would think this would be a good thing planning wise right? Wrong.

Since I was the head IT guy, I always got blamed. So, if I said I was going somewhere July 11 for a week, July would come around, some project would be in motion, or close to install, and, "how could you leave at a time like this". I did not just hear this from my boss, but from most managers all around the company. Never failed, it was always how could I leave when this or that was about to or was happening. I hated that and still do.

I do agree with the sentiment that when you work for someone, they own you. Not completely own of course, you can walk. However, you have to be there at certain times, you can't do what you want, etc. It's a form.

Awesome! Since your skills were critical to the business, it sounds like you had numerous opportunities to approach your manager and negotiate a better salary & benefits None of my business of course, but did they respond positively? Or did you leave and find an employer that could meet your salary/benefits expectations?

 

[Steve Fatula]

Awesome! Since your skills were critical to the business, it sounds like you had numerous opportunities to approach your manager and negotiate a better salary & benefits None of my business of course, but did they respond positively? Or did you leave and find an employer that could meet your salary/benefits expectations?

Oh, I did (successfully), but it didn't help the complaints for any vacation time taken.

I just dealt with it until I reached 10 years, and then quit. I really wanted that pension, and I am glad I did as I will be using it in 2.5 years! Fortunately, it's fully funded and the small private company is doing well. Not too small, may have had 400 employees.

Just as "fun".... When a major system would crash or had a fault, say it was 6PM and I was home eating, I'd have to go in and fix it. Let's say this was a major hardware problem and it required third party parts, support, etc. I might still be there the next day, 30 hours later. at midnight. No sleep. Finally, problem might be resolved everything up and going, and, I go home and (being too tired) eventually get to sleep. Now morning comes around, and, well, I am sleeping. I come in at noon. (I did leave a report and was in contact with all management during the down time). While my boss at least supported me in this, most other people around the company accused me of being lazy, late, "special" as in how come he can come it at noon, etc. Also did not play well with me.

This was not the day when when I started there. It was later in my ten years employment. And towards the end of that, I made sure I took more advantage of (self given) "comp" time. I figured they would not fire me and I was right.