I can’t believe it. My friend got scammed.

[Patri]

This morning I got a text from a friend asking for $3,000+ to get a package released from Mexico. I deleted it, figuring she was hacked. Just now she called. It really was from her. A year ago she invested $200k through a guy in California she found on Facebook. She did not know him. The company is kaput. She has been trying to get her money back. I told her this is all a scam and the $3,000 will also disappear. Another friend has been telling her the same things I did.
I told her she needs to report this, but I don’t know who would really try to find and prosecute, or try to retrieve her money. The sad thing is, she went through an acrimonious divorce. She inherited a lot of money from her dad. This must be most/all of it, if she does not even have a spare $3,000.
Too bad her bank did not question when she transferred so much money. I didn’t ask how she actually sent it.
She sounded pretty hopeless.

 

[Pennytx]

So sorry

 

[emeryjre]

The type of investment she believed she was making could lead to finding a government agency willing to investigate

It is truly a shame she lost her money

These scammers are really psychopaths with no conscience

 

[dioxide45]

It could have been a slow long drip of money being requested by and sent to the scammers. It sounds like a pig butchering scam. They keep coming back asking for more and the victim keeps sending more. Then once the victim is in deep, the scammer says to just send some more and they can get all the money released and you will be refunded. The desperate victim falls for that too because they want their money back. Any money sent is just more money lost. The scams of "they take the money and disappear" aren't as common now. They know a victim once is easy to scam some more. So they just keep coming back for more.

Per AI here’s how it typically works:

1. Initial Contact – The scammer reaches out through dating apps, social media, or even a wrong-number text. They build rapport by pretending to be friendly, charming, or romantic.
2. “Fattening the Pig” – Over weeks or months, the scammer slowly earns the victim’s trust with constant communication, affection, and seemingly genuine interest. This grooming period is called “fattening the pig.”
3. The Hook: Investment Opportunity – Once trust is established, the scammer introduces a supposedly safe, exclusive way to make money—often involving cryptocurrency or foreign exchange (forex) trading. They may show screenshots of fake profits or even let the victim withdraw a small amount at first to make it look real.
4. The Slaughter – Eventually, the victim is persuaded to invest larger and larger amounts, sometimes their life savings. When the victim tries to withdraw, their account is frozen, new “fees” are demanded, or the scammer vanishes altogether.
5. Aftermath – Victims are left with huge financial losses and emotional trauma from the betrayal. The scammers often operate out of organized crime syndicates, especially in Southeast Asia, and move stolen money through complex laundering networks.

 

[rapmarks]

How horrible

 

[Passepartout]

So sad for Patri's friend, but let this be a cautionary tale for all of us. We are a demographic that is targeted by evil people and AI- that has ZERO conscience.

 

[am1]

My brother in law fell for a money scam with my money. He got a text "from" a person we all know in Miami who actually was there when I met my wife about needing 3k to pay import taxes and he would receive that and money on top. My wife tells me her brother needs 3k deposited in an account an I do not question it as not out of the normal and if my wife vetted it then its a go. Ends up being a scammer and I get paid back the 3k from brother in law but he already owes me 20k for legitimate expenses that will be paid back but who really paid for the 3k from the scam?

 

[Pennytx]

This is so sad to read

 

[Sandi Bo]

I am just getting involved with someone I am certain is being scammed. Actually I knew she was, and I unfortunately was able to confirm this week that things are far worse than I thought. Someone is bleeding her account slowly. This month 8 ATM withdrawals that total over $2,000. I'm hoping I can stop things so her life savings aren't completely depleted. About a year ago I contacted the police with my suspicions and they said if she wasn't being threatened there wasn't anything i could do. (Kicking myself today, I should have persisted). She isn't being threatened, she is willingly giving these people her money. There sure are some super scumbag people out there. The bank now has a fraud alert on her account, but that won't stop her from making these $100-$300 withdrawals, she is willingly doing them.

A friend sent me this link. I see a contact for Adult Protective Services that I'll be calling today.

Home - NAPSA

NAPSA's mission is to strengthen the capacity of Adult Protective Services (APS), to recognize, report, & respond to needs of elders & adults with disabilities.

www.napsa-now.org

More specifically, you can look for one in your state:

Help In Your Area - NAPSA

Are you concerned someone you love or care about may be the victim of abuse? Select where you reside to find specific contact information for your location.

www.napsa-now.org

 

[beejaybee]

Interesting read- it's not just OPs getting scammed!
Anatomy of a Con Artist by Johnathon Walton
And this movie: The Beekeeper

 

[jp10558]

I am just getting involved with someone I am certain is being scammed. Actually I knew she was, and I unfortunately was able to confirm this week that things are far worse than I thought. Someone is bleeding her account slowly. This month 8 ATM withdrawals that total over $2,000. I'm hoping I can stop things so her life savings aren't completely depleted. About a year ago I contacted the police with my suspicions and they said if she wasn't being threatened there wasn't anything i could do. (Kicking myself today, I should have persisted). She isn't being threatened, she is willingly giving these people her money. There sure are some super scumbag people out there. The bank now has a fraud alert on her account, but that won't stop her from making these $100-$300 withdrawals, she is willingly doing them.

A friend sent me this link. I see a contact for Adult Protective Services that I'll be calling today.

Home - NAPSA

NAPSA's mission is to strengthen the capacity of Adult Protective Services (APS), to recognize, report, & respond to needs of elders & adults with disabilities.

www.napsa-now.org

More specifically, you can look for one in your state:

Help In Your Area - NAPSA

Are you concerned someone you love or care about may be the victim of abuse? Select where you reside to find specific contact information for your location.

www.napsa-now.org

You better hope your Adult Protective Services is better than mine is. Here they don't care and don't do anything. Getting anyone to do anything is impossible if the person presents well enough mentally for the hour or few hours they might be around any provider, and if they insist they are OK with what they're doing. A local Chevy dealer was selling my crazy uncle a new truck every other year for a bit because "they couldn't fix problems under the warranty". Anyone in their right mind would have insisted the truck at least last the warranty period vs well, I'll just trade it in to "fix" it. Technically legal (enough) though.

Very insane things are just "well, if he wants to live in a house with no food, not leave, and for some reason poop in a commode in the living room and bag it up but not throw it out, that's his choice as an adult. Sure...

I don't think a scam will motivate an agency, unless the scammed individual is also crying out, and I still doubt APS is going to do anything. I think they sent us a brochure once.

 

[GT75]

or even a wrong-number text.

I suspected that was the case. I just automatically delete all wrong text and report them.

 

[fillde]

This is very timely. Be careful of email phishing schemes.

 

[Janann]

Getting anyone to do anything is impossible if the person presents well enough mentally for the hour or few hours they might be around any provider, and if they insist they are OK with what they're doing.

This is a frequent problem in the scam with a new boyfriend or girlfriend in another country. The person in the U.S. insists this person is real, even though friends and family have tried to talk them out of sending more money. The person is otherwise functioning normally with taking care of themselves and their finances. So what can be done at that point? The person can't be declared incompetent by the courts just because they are wiring money to a probably fake boyfriend or girlfriend. It is just irrational romantic decision-making.

 

[Tia]

The local police department would be able to tell you where to report this scam , non emergency number of course.

 

[Sandi Bo]

You better hope your Adult Protective Services is better than mine is. Here they don't care and don't do anything. Getting anyone to do anything is impossible if the person presents well enough mentally for the hour or few hours they might be around any provider, and if they insist they are OK with what they're doing. A local Chevy dealer was selling my crazy uncle a new truck every other year for a bit because "they couldn't fix problems under the warranty". Anyone in their right mind would have insisted the truck at least last the warranty period vs well, I'll just trade it in to "fix" it. Technically legal (enough) though.

Very insane things are just "well, if he wants to live in a house with no food, not leave, and for some reason poop in a commode in the living room and bag it up but not throw it out, that's his choice as an adult. Sure...

I don't think a scam will motivate an agency, unless the scammed individual is also crying out, and I still doubt APS is going to do anything. I think they sent us a brochure once.

You are correct. I just spoke to Adult Protective Services and they said she is sounds capable of making decisions, and she can choose to give her money to whomever she wants. They don't see her as vulnerable at this time. I will be doing more digging, but frustrating that overall this is perceived as 'okay'. They did say they'd pass the information on to law enforcement but didn't expect them to do anything.

 

[jp10558]

You are correct. I just spoke to Adult Protective Services and they said she is sounds capable of making decisions, and she can choose to give her money to whomever she wants. They don't see her as vulnerable at this time. I will be doing more digging, but frustrating that overall this is perceived as 'okay'. They did say they'd pass the information on to law enforcement but didn't expect them to do anything.

The problem is would you want the local government deciding who you can and can't give money to? Or a bureaucrat deciding what is/isn't a scam without due process? I'm not sure if it's better or worse to live with money draining scams vs the petty abuse of power we've see county etc officials do if given a chance, but it's certainly not an obvious decision. I'm still dismayed about the Brittney Spears debacle, so I am hesitant to make it easier to decide and enforce against their will that someone should be made basically a ward of the state as an adult. That's nanny state for real - you're treated like you're 15 or something... basically forever.

OTOH, maybe we just restrict international payments - but that's federal. At least if they had to be in the US to get the money, there's someone the legal system could go after for fraud or whatever.

 

[dioxide45]

I recall watching a video where they were talking to someone who was the victim of a timeshare exit scam. It was related to the cartel pig butchering scams that were in the news last year. Even after being told and convinced it was a scam, they were still considering sending more money because they were also convinced it might help them get all their money back as the scammer had promised it would. Some people simply can't be helped. The deeper they get, the harder it is to get them out.

 

[LannyPC]

I just automatically delete all wrong text and report them.

Me too. Although, some of these "wrong number" texts are attempts to lure you into a pyramid scheme or multi-level marketing plans.

 

[WaikikiFirst]

Getting anyone to do anything is impossible if the person presents well enough mentally for the hour or few hours they might be around any provider, and if they insist they are OK with what they're doing.

sounds like a reasonable approach, unless you want to raise their budget by 10x and prepare to have them be sued by people who actually are mentally-fit and "OK with it".

 

[WaikikiFirst]

A year ago she invested $200k through a guy in California she found on Facebook.

Pro athletes do this, but prob off instagram & TikTok

 

[WorldT]

You are correct. I just spoke to Adult Protective Services and they said she is sounds capable of making decisions, and she can choose to give her money to whomever she wants. They don't see her as vulnerable at this time. I will be doing more digging, but frustrating that overall this is perceived as 'okay'. They did say they'd pass the information on to law enforcement but didn't expect them to do anything.

Maybe a court ordered "very" limited power of attorney. No pay, no ability to initiate financial transactions.

 

[ScoopKona]

We had to take away mom's land line because of this.

Anyone could call her, claiming to be the IRS. And she would do ANYTHING they told her to do. "Tell us the names, social security numbers, date of birth, place of birth of all your children and grandchildren."

We told her dozens of times, the IRS doesn't call. They write letters. Or the come by in person if they're really upset. Didn't matter. Next time the phone rang, she was singing like a canary and asking her bank branch manager for funds to send to the IRS to avoid a fine. She completely lost all logic and reason the minute someone on the phone said "IRS."

It would be nice if the infotainment "news" stations pounded information about scams into their "Blather & Friends" programs. Because their target market could use the information.

 

[RX8]

This morning I got a text from a friend asking for $3,000+ to get a package released from Mexico. I deleted it, figuring she was hacked. Just now she called. It really was from her. A year ago she invested $200k through a guy in California she found on Facebook. She did not know him. The company is kaput. She has been trying to get her money back. I told her this is all a scam and the $3,000 will also disappear. Another friend has been telling her the same things I did.
I told her she needs to report this, but I don’t know who would really try to find and prosecute, or try to retrieve her money. The sad thing is, she went through an acrimonious divorce. She inherited a lot of money from her dad. This must be most/all of it, if she does not even have a spare $3,000.
Too bad her bank did not question when she transferred so much money. I didn’t ask how she actually sent it.
She sounded pretty hopeless.

You are a good friend for trying to help. Sounds like the scammer is trying a common but effective second scam which is a promise to help get her money back...for a fee of course. Hopefully she has realized by now that she was scammed. Sadly, I believe that there are many stories like this that we just don't hear about.

Even telling a loved one that they were being scammed may not be enough. A family member on my wife's side fell for the "you won the lottery" scam a few years ago. He sent a large amount for "taxes" to the scammers. They continued to call him for more money, and he kept sending it. Once it was found what he was doing, the family intervened but he refused to listen. A detective went to his house and spoke to him personally that he was being scammed but he still wouldn't believe it. The scammers were out of the country so the police could do nothing about it. He has since passed away but he went to his grave angry thinking that the family (who took control of his finances) had prevented him from riches.

 

[superfriend620]

I am just getting involved with someone I am certain is being scammed. Actually I knew she was, and I unfortunately was able to confirm this week that things are far worse than I thought. Someone is bleeding her account slowly. This month 8 ATM withdrawals that total over $2,000. I'm hoping I can stop things so her life savings aren't completely depleted. About a year ago I contacted the police with my suspicions and they said if she wasn't being threatened there wasn't anything i could do. (Kicking myself today, I should have persisted). She isn't being threatened, she is willingly giving these people her money. There sure are some super scumbag people out there. The bank now has a fraud alert on her account, but that won't stop her from making these $100-$300 withdrawals, she is willingly doing them.

A friend sent me this link. I see a contact for Adult Protective Services that I'll be calling today.

Home - NAPSA

NAPSA's mission is to strengthen the capacity of Adult Protective Services (APS), to recognize, report, & respond to needs of elders & adults with disabilities.

www.napsa-now.org

More specifically, you can look for one in your state:

Help In Your Area - NAPSA

Are you concerned someone you love or care about may be the victim of abuse? Select where you reside to find specific contact information for your location.

www.napsa-now.org

My grandma was frauded by someone on the phone and then she had to mail them stuff so it was mail fraud. The FBI was involved.