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Young Love

puppymommo

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Well, it finally happened. DD just got her first "real" boyfriend! She is 17 and a senior, he is 16 and a sophomore. He seems really nice and sweet. They've been dating for all of three weeks. They met working on the school play. If things continue to go well, she will actually have a date for the senior prom. She's never had a date for any of the dances all through high school, so that would be very nice. :cheer:
 

pjrose

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Awwwww. I think it's amazing she has waited so long, and great that they met while sharing a mutual interest.

I certainly hope all goes well for them!
 

MOXJO7282

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My daughter also has started dating for the first time just recently. She is also a senior in HS. I'm really happy that she started late if you will. They have enough to worry about with their futures so I hope she doesn't have too much drama with the boys.

She is incredibly mature for her age. There was a previous suitor who really persued her and all her friends were putting pressure like "why don't you just go out with him since you've never had a boyfriend and he's nice". She didn't care and said she wasn't ready. Now she has a boyfriend on her own terms and we're proud of the way she handled herself.
 

scrapngen

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I'm glad to see that there are still plenty of girls waiting until it's the right boy or until they're ready - 16/17 to join the dating arena. :clap: :clap:


Such a nice counterpoint to all the negative coverage of kids "growing up" too soon - whether it's dating, drugs, etc...
 

rickandcindy23

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We need a +1 on Tug, mines 6, i've told her she can date after her Second Doctorate
Ride, she is adorable, too. Love the picture.

Our granddaughter just turned 5, and she already has her eyes on a boy at school. We told her to wait until after college, but she is already interested in boys, so what are grandparents to do?

What a gift to have grandkids. We know our kids are worrying about everything, just like we did. And look how they all turned out. Wonderfully!
 

spencersmama

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When my DD, now 12, came home from her first day at pre-school at 2 and a half, she told me, "Mama, I love the wild boys!" I think that trend has continued. We saw The Vow together today and she leaned over and said, "If I woke up from a coma and someone that cute said he was my husband, I wouldn't be mad about it!" Ay, ay, ay, I am not looking forward to 16!
 

pjrose

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When my DD, now 12, came home from her first day at pre-school at 2 and a half, she told me, "Mama, I love the wild boys!" I think that trend has continued. We saw The Vow together today and she leaned over and said, "If I woke up from a coma and someone that cute said he was my husband, I wouldn't be mad about it!" Ay, ay, ay, I am not looking forward to 16!

Unfortunately some of them do like "bad boys" better. I guess they're more fun or more exciting. :wall:

Fortunately there are also girls like Puppymommo's daughter :). Years ago I would have assumed the difference was good vs bad parenting, but I think there's a lot more to it than that. Parenting is hard, that's for sure!
 
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puppymommo

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Years ago I would have assumed the difference was good vs bad parenting, but I think there's a lot more to it than that. Parenting is hard, that's for sure!

I would totally agree with PJ Rose on this one. There's a lot more to it than parenting. I am sure that DD got to be the amazing person that she is not because of our parenting, but in spite of it!
 

vckempson

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My daughter is 2. She can date when she's 30. :D

My oldest daughter is 26. She waited until she was... 26. She's a real career girl and I think she intimidated the crap out of the boys. She's always had lots of friends, though, just no boyfriend. Finally! Woot, woot!
 

m61376

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For this generation it seems the real magic age is 24-25, at least from what I've seen personally and with friends. All of a sudden the light bulb seems to go off and the girls want serious relationships if they aren't in one, and they all start getting engaged and married then, or at least seriously looking. I guess it makes sense- they're done with college and established in careers and/or finishing grad school. But it's funny because I've seen the change at that age whether the girls were immersed in a career already or in the midst of grad school- it's almost like an internal clock goes off.
 

geekette

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My oldest daughter is 26. She waited until she was... 26. She's a real career girl and I think she intimidated the crap out of the boys. She's always had lots of friends, though, just no boyfriend. Finally! Woot, woot!

That was me, too. I found out when I grew boobs what boys wanted and I had other things to do. I was smart, too, and they were often intimidated. Fine by me, I wanted a smart one anyway!

"Serious boyfriend" while still a teen is not something I'll ever be able to wrap my head around. Way too foreign to me.

Prom date is good, tho. I went to proms with my best friend that was a boy. Didn't have to worry about him suddenly producing a motel room key ; )
 

puppymommo

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Well, it finally happened. DD just got her first "real" boyfriend! She is 17 and a senior, he is 16 and a sophomore. He seems really nice and sweet. They've been dating for all of three weeks. They met working on the school play. If things continue to go well, she will actually have a date for the senior prom. She's never had a date for any of the dances all through high school, so that would be very nice. :cheer:

Well, it happened. DD just broke up with her first "real" boyfriend. A week after prom. I've known for a few days she was going to break up with him, she was trying to find a good way/time. She didn't want to break up with him by text, she didn't want to break up with him after school because he has a long (30 plus minutes) drive home and she was afraid he would be crying ...

Sounds like she was compassionate which is good because he really, really liked her. Sounds like they both survived and will go on to better things!
 

jlr10

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I always thought if I was blessed with a daughter (which I wasn't) I would like them to wait to date. My niece who put off all the interested boys until she was in college. She got her first boyfriend and married him as soon as she graduated. We all thought that he had some pretty unredeeming qualities but she disagreed, blinded by first love. She was 23 and as an adult she made her own decision. I took 3 years before I learned to be around him. After 4 years of marriage later she came home and he told her he never loved her, didn't like her, and only married her because his friends told her to, and she had no redeeming qualities. She never saw it coming and was devestated. The divorce will be finalized in a few months, and she will survive, but never be so trusting again, (She also now agrees with the opinion that the family had all along of him.)

Now if I had a daughter I would encourage her to date earlier, and different boys. Maybe not at 12, but definately in high school.

I still have fond feelings for my first high school boyfriend. But if I had first dated him a few years later I might have ended up marrying him, which would have been a disaster. Glad I dated him when I did, but even more glad to have the experience for when I met and married DH,my true lifelong love.
 

K&PFitz

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My daughter is now 27, and started dating at 15 or 16. One of the things I have found difficult as a dad is holding my tongue when I really don't like the current boyfriend. However, I've pretty well managed to be diplomatic.

One guy in college was a mystery to me. She seemed to think he was a genius. He was a few years older, should have been out of college but was still a freshman after several years. I couldn't see that he had accomplished a thing since high school, and yet he was arrogant and condescending towards us. Thankfully that ended.

My neighbor once commented that one boyfriend seemed to show up anytime I lit the BBQ grill. I noticed he showed up whenever we weren't home. I knew exactly what that guy was after, and didn't miss him when they broke up.

I recently bumped into one of her old high school boyfriends. They didn't date long, but he always treated her with respect. I told him I appreciated that.

Current boyfriend would make the perfect son-in-law. I like everything about this guy. I hope she just likes him as much as her mother and I do. Keeping fingers crossed.
 

SOS8260456

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We had a situation here where my son 16 was dating my 17 yo daughters best friend. They are all within 10 months of each other age wise, but my son missed being in the same grade as my daughter by 2 weeks.

Anyway, they dated for about 18 months and then about 2 weeks after the semi back in Nov, my son broke up with her. He later told me that he loved her, but was not IN love with her. Before he even got home, while we were still unaware that this had happened, her mother was on the phone screaming at me that the whole thing happened because I took my children away for most of August and he was changed when he came back, how could he do this, blah, blah, blah. We all liked the girl alot but I had always kept saying "its too soon". I finally just told the mother that if they are meant to be together they will eventually get together. My son was also devastated. When he came home I could tell how upset he was and when we finally talked about it, he asked me what should he have done, stayed with her even though the feelings weren't there anymore?

Well, over the next few days, all the girl could post on her facebook was "oh, my fairytale is over", "What am I going to do...", " my dreams are crushed". I was seriously worried about the girl.

I don't want to sound judgemental here, so I hope I don't offend anyone. The weirdest thing about the whole thing was that the girl's mother had gotten pregnant at a very young age, she never went to college, she was a single mom and because of this they always talked about the very high hopes they have for this girl who is a very smart girl. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the mother, just that considering how she always said she didn't want the same thing for her daughter, I couldn't understand why she wanted her to be serious with a boy in the first place.

I asked my son back then to please try not to get serious with anyone until much much later. He enjoys having lots of girl friends, just not girlfriends. And if you can't enjoy having lots of girl friends when you are 16/17, when can you do it?
 

geekette

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yikes.

I'm not sure where this girl whose world was crushed (because your son went somewhere in August???) is going as I don't see a path beyond current relationship except to next if she is that distraught. surprising if parents "want more" for her. More What? boyfriends?

equally flummoxed by the mother calling to yell at you about it. um, ok, what are you to do, DEMAND your son get back together with the girl? crazy. That mother is a bit too invested in her child's lovelife. I'd be HORRIFIED if my mother had done that!!

Good for your son for cutting ties with this girl simply because she + her mother = significant drama.

Friends are good. For the young, for the old, and for all in between. I have simply never understood the rush to "couple up" for those with more schooling ahead. Guess I selfishly chose Me Time...

education = growth + change. starting a career = growth + change. It's hard enuf to figure out on your own without having to consider another person or when one half of the couple is presented with opportunities in a different location.
 

Passepartout

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Young Love.....

is highly over-rated. If my DW and I had met 30 years earlier than we did, we wouldn't have had anything to do with one another. Both of us were involved with other families, with partners who turned out to be losers.

Mature love is waaaay better.

Jim
 
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