What is your greatest challenge in life and how did your overcome it?

[Fredflintstone]

Let’s face it. Life is full of twists and turns. We have our highs and our challenges. However, we always overcome them. When life gives us lemons, we just make lemonade.

So, what challenge did you overcome that you want to share? If you prefer, what great moment did you have?

Here’s mine:

I was raised very poor. I remember when I was six, my dad pawned his watch to buy me a used bike. I only learned that after he died. I loved that bike and my dad even more for his sacrifice.

When I turned 18, I decided that I was going to crawl out of poverty. I used to deliver pizzas at night, sleep for a few hours and go to University. 20 hour days were common. I earned 3 degrees. I started out as a teacher and love it. As I got older, I wanted to transition to Law. I loved that too. Yes, I crawled out of poverty and helped my parents too. I bought them a house, gave them an annuity and paid for many travels. Yes, it was a mountain to climb but boy reaching the top felt great!


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[Rolltydr]

Let’s face it. Life is full of twists and turns. We have our highs and our challenges. However, we always overcome them. When life gives us lemons, we just make lemonade.

So, what challenge did you overcome that you want to share? If you prefer, what great moment did you have?

Here’s mine:

I was raised very poor. I remember when I was six, my dad pawned his watch to buy me a used bike. I only learned that after he died. I loved that bike and my dad even more for his sacrifice.

When I turned 18, I decided that I was going to crawl out of poverty. I used to deliver pizzas at night, sleep for a few hours and go to University. 20 hour days were common. I earned 3 degrees. I started out as a teacher and love it. As I got older, I wanted to transition to Law. I loved that too. Yes, I crawled out of poverty and helped my parents too. I bought them a house, gave them an annuity and paid for many travels. Yes, it was a mountain to climb but boy reaching the top felt great!


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Like you, I was also raised poor by a single mother and my grandmother. I never really felt like I was poor because I grew up in a rural part of Alabama and most other people were in the same situation. I remember when The Beatles White Album was released, none of the stores in Clanton where I lived had it. My mother drove me to a town 50 miles away to get it. I always had plenty to eat and there wasn’t much to do anyway except attend high school events so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. However, there wasn’t really anywhere to work and earn a decent wage. My mother worked in a cotton mill and that is where I started at age 16. It didn’t take me long to decide I sure didn’t want to do that the rest of my life. At 18, my girlfriend got pregnant and we got married. I completed one year of college after our son was born but knew I had to get a steady job and Birmingham was my best option. Fortunately, I was hired to work in the stockroom in the regional office of a national insurance company. My wife moved us to a Birmingham suburb the week I started my job. We’ve lived in the area ever since, 46 years. I worked up to an IT position where I spent 35 years. My wife worked a few jobs and ended up with a clerical position in the US Marshals office in Birmingham. In the late 80’s, the Marshals Service needed more women deputies in their ranks and she was asked to apply. She did and was selected. We both went on to earn 6 figure salaries by the time we retired.

So, we overcame a lot to become successful professionally. But, the hardest thing we ever had to overcome was the death of our son. He was killed in an automobile accident in 1991 at the age of 18. I still can’t describe what it was like. There are no words for those feelings. We survived by necessity. We had a 7 year old daughter that required our attention and sanity. We took care of her and poured ourselves into projects around the house that kept our hands and minds occupied for several months. The only thing that helped was the passage of time.

To bring this back around, my wife and I have now been married for 47 years. We’ve endured many things that alone break up a lot of marriages; getting married as teenagers, teenage pregnancy, losing a child (the divorce rate for parents who lose a child is very high). Of course, I’ve had moments when I wondered if we would make it. Amazingly, I don’t know that my wife has. She is a very positive person and just never thinks she, or we, can’t do something. She is the rock. So, the greatest moments I’ve ever had are marrying her and the births of our children. All of my success in life stems from those 3 moments.


Harry

 

[Fredflintstone]

Like you, I was also raised poor by a single mother and my grandmother. I never really felt like I was poor because I was grew up in a rural part of Alabama and most other people were in the same situation. I remember when Th Beatles White Album was released, none of the stores in Clanton where I lived had it. My mother drove me to a town 50 miles away to get it. I always had plenty to eat and there wasn’t much to do anyway except attend high school events so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. However, there wasn’t really anywhere to work and earn a decent wage. My mother worked in a cotton mill and that is where I started at age 16. It didn’t take me long to decide I sure didn’t want to do that the rest of my life. At 18, my girlfriend got pregnant and we got married. I completed one year of college after our son was born but knew I had to get a steady job and Birmingham was my best option. Fortunately, I was hired to work in the stockroom in the regional office of a national insurance company. My wife moved us to a Birmingham suburb the week I started my job. We’ve lived in the area ever since, 46 years. I worked up to an IT position where I spent 35 years. My wife worked a few jobs and ended up with a clerical position in the US Marshals office in Birmingham. In the late 80’s, the Marshals Service needed more women deputies in their ranks and she was asked to apply. She did and was selected. We both went on to earn 6 figure salaries by the time we retired.

So, we overcame a lot to become successful professionally. But, the hardest thing we ever had to overcome was the death of our son. He was killed in an automobile accident in 1991 at the age of 18. I still can’t describe what it was like. There are no words for those feelings. We survived by necessity. We had a 7 year old daughter that required our attention and sanity. We took care of her and poured ourselves into projects around the house that kept our hands and minds occupied for several months. The only thing that helped was the passage of time.

To bring this back around, my wife and I have now been married for 47 years. We’ve endured many things that alone break up a lot of marriages; getting married as teenagers, teenage pregnancy, losing a child (the divorce rate for parents who lose a child is very high). Of course, I’ve had moments when I wondered if we would make it. Amazingly, I don’t know that my wife has. She is a very positive person and just never thinks she, or we, can’t do something. She is the rock. So, the greatest moments I’ve ever had are marrying her and the births of our children. All of my success in life stems from those 3 moments.


Harry

Harry, thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

Every time I hear stories like this, it tells me that no matter what happens, we have our core family and blessings.

Even though I still have quirks as a result of being poor (like having some land and a cabin for emergencies), I never forget that God will not dish out anything I cannot handle.

Even if we do go to a depression (which I hope doesn’t happen), I know in my heart that I will be ok, my family will be ok and I hope my neighbours will be ok too. I, for one, will give what I can spare to help others if needed. I believe people are good deep inside and with that belief we will all pull together in bad times.

In a way, the current situation is healthy because it instills humility and forces us to reflect on what is truly important in life.


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[elaine]

wonderful inspiration, and, Harry, what an amazing tribute to your wife.

 

[elaine]

I didn't have the "hard" hurdles. I was a typical 1960s middle class baby. state college was relatively cheap in the 80s-law school was $900/semester. so staying middle class was fairly assured back then.
mine were the "soft" hurdles--some didn't have a fix/solution. I just tried to always do the right thing-which was far from perfect: being there for DD with depression and bad life choices during young adult years (still ongoing), same for bad choices of DSS who came back to live with us at 20 (now 35 and doing fine), raising preemie twins with very little outside help-and thankful for every exhausted minute, and now getting my mom moved to senior living and getting house renovated (by DH), cleared out (me) and sold (last week!).
those are what I look back on and am proud. Elaine

 

[Talent312]

I had two great challenges: The first life threatening. The second an atypical coming of age.

First, I was very badly burned as a child - think gasoline (3rd over 75%). I spent a great deal of my youth in the hospital and the first patient to have air conditioning (circa 1960). Multiple surgeries and skin grafts later, my scars are fairly nominal.

This led to my 2nd challenge in two parts: (a) Losing my virginity and (b) dealing with divorce. I lump them together because they involved the same woman. In my youth, I was self-conscious about my scars and it limited my social skills. Luckily, I encountered a young woman who was hot to jump my bones. We broke up sometime later when she also slept with my brother (neither told me at the time). A few years later, we ran into each other, and married. That remarkably lasted 18 years. The divorce was difficult to take, but now, 20 years later, it's water under the bridge.
.

 

[b2bailey]

I like the use of word "hurdle" -- it makes it easier to frame my story.
1. I was born 51 weeks after my brother. Certainly unexpected, but sadly unwanted. Parents divorced before my birth. Never was told "I love you" by my mom. And I do mean never.
2. Married my high school sweetheart and life was good for awhile. Was supporting him through college when I learned he had a secret. While I was away at work, he dressed up in my clothes. 50+ years ago things like that were never spoken of. I was devastated. Received counseling, but ultimately divorced.
3. Marriage #2 -- went from the frying pan to the fire. Married an abusive alcoholic. Didn't know anything about that, had never seen it in my family.
Ultimately divorced, but it was a long row to plow.
4. October 17, 1989 -- lost my home in Loma Prieta earthquake. It was my 39th birthday.
5. After a happy marriage (#3) of nearly 15 years, my dear husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma (brain cancer) and died 2 years later.

===
And now I must say -- in January 1975 (age 25) I was Found by Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour. It was tough surviving, with Him by my side, I don't know how anyone can do it without HIM.

 

[pedro47]

Those are two (2) wonderful stories and only in America hard work and dreams came come true.

 

[WalnutBaron]

If two people could ever figure out ways to screw up a marriage, it would be my DW and me. I won't go into details because most of them are of an intimate nature, but suffice to say that a happy marriage in the early years became a lot more complicated and untenable once the kids came into our lives. I did the typical male thing: my job became my mistress, and I kind of shut myself off emotionally from my wife. Both she and I put our sons ahead of each other, which is a recipe for disaster and which, by the way, does no favors for one's children. The result was a home life for everyone that was alternately happy only on the surface, tenuous at times, and at other times filled with outright tension when Mom and Dad were not getting along.

The problem was exacerbated by my wife's refusal to pursue marriage counseling because of a bad experience she had had with a counselor during a relationship break-up before I had met her.

About six years ago, I moved out. We were separated for about 5 months. I fully intended to file for divorce. But God had other plans. During the time of separation, both DW and I spent a lot of time on our knees in prayer and sensed the Lord softening our hard hearts. Suddenly, it became less important to figure out who was "right". Suddenly, it became more important to forgive than to count the wrongs. Suddenly, it became more important to focus on all of God's blessings than on all of the lost years. I was on a business trip to Japan and had arranged, thanks to Hawaiian Airlines, to do a weekend layover in Hawaii. And although Hawaii was just as beautiful as always, it was completely different without my DW by my side. I called her, described the beauty and the loneliness, and asked her if she would like to return there with me the following month. It took her about two seconds to say "yes". We had some long talks about everything during that trip, set some boundaries and made some agreements, and ultimately decided it was time for me to move back into our home.

We've never looked back. God healed all of the hurts we had both nurtured over the years. He gave us a short memory for the pain, and a long memory for the joys. And He has filled the last six years with a series of miracles in healing our family and restoring relationships we thought were forever compromised. I like to say that I now walk with "an attitude of gratitude". My heart is filled with thanksgiving for all the Lord has blessed me with--and little of that is of a material nature, because the focus is on the restoration of our marriage and family, and of all of the wonderful friends who walked with us through the dark times and new friends who have come into our lives now that we're a much more pleasant couple to be around.

Yesterday, we celebrated the latest miracle: our 40th wedding anniversary. No, we weren't able to go on the big trip we had planned, nor could I even take her out to dinner at a 5-star restaurant as I had planned. Honestly, it didn't matter. We recounted a lot of funny stories about experiences we've shared over those 40 years, and ate some homemade soup and watched a double feature on Netflix. It was a perfect day to celebrate.

 

[aandmrun]

During my lifetime, I have had a lot of ups and downs. However, I will share one experience that was pretty life changing for me. I married young, to my high school sweetheart, we have lived through a lot since neither of us went to college until we had had our children then he worked nights and I worked days so we could afford to go through our schooling and also support our girls. In 1989, I was crossing an intersection (with the green light), when a large van came barreling down the right turn lane, without stopping and ran over me and dragged me under the van while making his right hand turn. Of course, I went unconscious, but was lucky that there was a tow truck right behind the van and the tow truck driver immediately called for assistance. (I learned this later). I believe the quick response of an ambulance taking me to the hospital may have saved my life. It turned out that I had a broken leg and my vertebrae 3-7 were fractured. This meant that if the vertebrae had been broken instead of fractured I would have been a paraplegic. I thank the lord every day that I was spared from this. I was in a halo brace for over a year recovering (I looked like someone from outer space). Anyway, up until then, I had been very sedentary and content to sip my cup of coffee at home during my days off. Knowing that I could have lost the use of both, my arms and legs changed my outlook of life altogether. When I recovered (with the help of my family), I joined a health club and started using my limbs!! I even started a walk/run club and within 2 years of my recovery I was running marathons. I have run 9 marathons and dozens of 1/2 marathons, 10ks and 5ks, now. This happened when I was 46, so it was late in life for me to become a runner (even though I was middle of the pack - not a Real Athlete). For this reason, every time a hardship comes along, I think I am better off at handling things with the support of my wonderful family.

 

[rickandcindy23]

When I was barely 18 and still in high school (March of 1973), my dad made it clear that after high school, I was to get out of the house. We were poor and college was never a discussion for any of us. I was angry with him and left with Rick the night of my birthday (he already had an apartment) and we got married 12 days later. Today is our anniversary, 47 years.

Life at home with Dad was not all that easy. Life with Rick has been a breeze.

Rick was also just barely 18 and had graduated in January and was working full time as a kitchen manager for a Village Inn that is closing very soon. It was brand new 49 years ago. Anyway, I finished high school while married. Dad and Mom didn't speak to me for a long time. Their marriage fell apart shortly after. I don't think that had anything to do with me, but maybe.

The rest is history, and we have a great life, we have 3 kids, all of whom are married, and five grandkids. I am grateful to my dad for all of the lessons he gave me. He was a WWII veteran and tough on me. It served me well over the years.

My half sister is his full daughter (he adopted me and my full sister after he and my mom married) and has proven to be quite spoiled. He was never tough on her. She was youngest, of course. She got by with everything.

I was with him constantly before he died. We made amends. My sister didn't have that opportunity because she lived in Nebraska at the time. Dad is sorely missed. He was tough but there are reasons why he was tough, and I totally get him in retrospect. I remember that Rick and I worked hard to finish making draperies for our new house after he died, between his death and the funeral. Our house was where all of his brothers and sisters and their families all came after the church service. That morning, I didn't want to go to the funeral at all. I was devastated that he was gone. I just sat on the edge of my bed and shook and cried my heart out. Our three kids were 6, 8 and 10. They never saw me like that.

I probably told you all before, but my dad and his six brothers and one of his brothers-in-law all went into the service during WWII. Dad was youngest of 8 kids. They all returned from the war. One had two purple hearts and one was a POW in Germany (my aunt's husband). That was a generation to admire. Just sayin'.

 

[rickandcindy23]

Yesterday, we celebrated the latest miracle: our 40th wedding anniversary. No, we weren't able to go on the big trip we had planned, nor could I even take her out to dinner at a 5-star restaurant as I had planned. Honestly, it didn't matter. We recounted a lot of funny stories about experiences we've shared over those 40 years, and ate some homemade soup and watched a double feature on Netflix. It was a perfect day to celebrate.

Today happens to be 47 for us. Congratulations, you two.

 

[rickandcindy23]

And now I must say -- in January 1975 (age 25) I was Found by Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour. It was tough surviving, with Him by my side, I don't know how anyone can do it without HIM.

Wow, I love your story, especially the above.

 

[b2bailey]

If two people could ever figure out ways to screw up a marriage, it would be my DW and me. I won't go into details because most of them are of an intimate nature, but suffice to say that a happy marriage in the early years became a lot more complicated and untenable once the kids came into our lives. I did the typical male thing: my job became my mistress, and I kind of shut myself off emotionally from my wife. Both she and I put our sons ahead of each other, which is a recipe for disaster and which, by the way, does no favors for one's children. The result was a home life for everyone that was alternately happy only on the surface, tenuous at times, and at other times filled with outright tension when Mom and Dad were not getting along.

The problem was exacerbated by my wife's refusal to pursue marriage counseling because of a bad experience she had had with a counselor during a relationship break-up before I had met her.

About six years ago, I moved out. We were separated for about 5 months. I fully intended to file for divorce. But God had other plans. During the time of separation, both DW and I spent a lot of time on our knees in prayer and sensed the Lord softening our hard hearts. Suddenly, it became less important to figure out who was "right". Suddenly, it became more important to forgive than to count the wrongs. Suddenly, it became more important to focus on all of God's blessings than on all of the lost years. I was on a business trip to Japan and had arranged, thanks to Hawaiian Airlines, to do a weekend layover in Hawaii. And although Hawaii was just as beautiful as always, it was completely different without my DW by my side. I called her, described the beauty and the loneliness, and asked her if she would like to return there with me the following month. It took her about two seconds to say "yes". We had some long talks about everything during that trip, set some boundaries and made some agreements, and ultimately decided it was time for me to move back into our home.

We've never looked back. God healed all of the hurts we had both nurtured over the years. He gave us a short memory for the pain, and a long memory for the joys. And He has filled the last six years with a series of miracles in healing our family and restoring relationships we thought were forever compromised. I like to say that I now walk with "an attitude of gratitude". My heart is filled with thanksgiving for all the Lord has blessed me with--and little of that is of a material nature, because the focus is on the restoration of our marriage and family, and of all of the wonderful friends who walked with us through the dark times and new friends who have come into our lives now that we're a much more pleasant couple to be around.

Yesterday, we celebrated the latest miracle: our 40th wedding anniversary. No, we weren't able to go on the big trip we had planned, nor could I even take her out to dinner at a 5-star restaurant as I had planned. Honestly, it didn't matter. We recounted a lot of funny stories about experiences we've shared over those 40 years, and ate some homemade soup and watched a double feature on Netflix. It was a perfect day to celebrate.

What great timing for sharing your story.

 

[Fredflintstone]

What’s so nice about this thread is we have all experienced challenges and rose above them. We all will continue to do that as people are amazingly resilient. It builds our characters and tests our resolve. A very good friend once told me while he was very ill that in the end, there are 3 things that truly matter. They are:

1. Character
2. Relationships
3. Memories

The rest...Meh...we can get though.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Rolltydr]

If two people could ever figure out ways to screw up a marriage, it would be my DW and me. I won't go into details because most of them are of an intimate nature, but suffice to say that a happy marriage in the early years became a lot more complicated and untenable once the kids came into our lives. I did the typical male thing: my job became my mistress, and I kind of shut myself off emotionally from my wife. Both she and I put our sons ahead of each other, which is a recipe for disaster and which, by the way, does no favors for one's children. The result was a home life for everyone that was alternately happy only on the surface, tenuous at times, and at other times filled with outright tension when Mom and Dad were not getting along.

The problem was exacerbated by my wife's refusal to pursue marriage counseling because of a bad experience she had had with a counselor during a relationship break-up before I had met her.

About six years ago, I moved out. We were separated for about 5 months. I fully intended to file for divorce. But God had other plans. During the time of separation, both DW and I spent a lot of time on our knees in prayer and sensed the Lord softening our hard hearts. Suddenly, it became less important to figure out who was "right". Suddenly, it became more important to forgive than to count the wrongs. Suddenly, it became more important to focus on all of God's blessings than on all of the lost years. I was on a business trip to Japan and had arranged, thanks to Hawaiian Airlines, to do a weekend layover in Hawaii. And although Hawaii was just as beautiful as always, it was completely different without my DW by my side. I called her, described the beauty and the loneliness, and asked her if she would like to return there with me the following month. It took her about two seconds to say "yes". We had some long talks about everything during that trip, set some boundaries and made some agreements, and ultimately decided it was time for me to move back into our home.

We've never looked back. God healed all of the hurts we had both nurtured over the years. He gave us a short memory for the pain, and a long memory for the joys. And He has filled the last six years with a series of miracles in healing our family and restoring relationships we thought were forever compromised. I like to say that I now walk with "an attitude of gratitude". My heart is filled with thanksgiving for all the Lord has blessed me with--and little of that is of a material nature, because the focus is on the restoration of our marriage and family, and of all of the wonderful friends who walked with us through the dark times and new friends who have come into our lives now that we're a much more pleasant couple to be around.

Yesterday, we celebrated the latest miracle: our 40th wedding anniversary. No, we weren't able to go on the big trip we had planned, nor could I even take her out to dinner at a 5-star restaurant as I had planned. Honestly, it didn't matter. We recounted a lot of funny stories about experiences we've shared over those 40 years, and ate some homemade soup and watched a double feature on Netflix. It was a perfect day to celebrate.

Congratulations to you and your wife! And, while I respect your faith and giving the glory to God, don’t sell yourselves short. You two made the hard decision to fix your marriage and you deserve the credit for it as you, your family and friends, are reaping the rewards from the hard work you put into it!

I hope you have a wonderful 40 more years!


Harry

 

[Rolltydr]

During my lifetime, I have had a lot of ups and downs. However, I will share one experience that was pretty life changing for me. I married young, to my high school sweetheart, we have lived through a lot since neither of us went to college until we had had our children then he worked nights and I worked days so we could afford to go through our schooling and also support our girls. In 1989, I was crossing an intersection (with the green light), when a large van came barreling down the right turn lane, without stopping and ran over me and dragged me under the van while making his right hand turn. Of course, I went unconscious, but was lucky that there was a tow truck right behind the van and the tow truck driver immediately called for assistance. (I learned this later). I believe the quick response of an ambulance taking me to the hospital may have saved my life. It turned out that I had a broken leg and my vertebrae 3-7 were fractured. This meant that if the vertebrae had been broken instead of fractured I would have been a paraplegic. I thank the lord every day that I was spared from this. I was in a halo brace for over a year recovering (I looked like someone from outer space). Anyway, up until then, I had been very sedentary and content to sip my cup of coffee at home during my days off. Knowing that I could have lost the use of both, my arms and legs changed my outlook of life altogether. When I recovered (with the help of my family), I joined a health club and started using my limbs!! I even started a walk/run club and within 2 years of my recovery I was running marathons. I have run 9 marathons and dozens of 1/2 marathons, 10ks and 5ks, now. This happened when I was 46, so it was late in life for me to become a runner (even though I was middle of the pack - not a Real Athlete). For this reason, every time a hardship comes along, I think I am better off at handling things with the support of my wonderful family.

You’re an inspiration! Thank you for sharing.


Harry

 

[MrockStar]

If two people could ever figure out ways to screw up a marriage, it would be my DW and me. I won't go into details because most of them are of an intimate nature, but suffice to say that a happy marriage in the early years became a lot more complicated and untenable once the kids came into our lives. I did the typical male thing: my job became my mistress, and I kind of shut myself off emotionally from my wife. Both she and I put our sons ahead of each other, which is a recipe for disaster and which, by the way, does no favors for one's children. The result was a home life for everyone that was alternately happy only on the surface, tenuous at times, and at other times filled with outright tension when Mom and Dad were not getting along.

The problem was exacerbated by my wife's refusal to pursue marriage counseling because of a bad experience she had had with a counselor during a relationship break-up before I had met her.

About six years ago, I moved out. We were separated for about 5 months. I fully intended to file for divorce. But God had other plans. During the time of separation, both DW and I spent a lot of time on our knees in prayer and sensed the Lord softening our hard hearts. Suddenly, it became less important to figure out who was "right". Suddenly, it became more important to forgive than to count the wrongs. Suddenly, it became more important to focus on all of God's blessings than on all of the lost years. I was on a business trip to Japan and had arranged, thanks to Hawaiian Airlines, to do a weekend layover in Hawaii. And although Hawaii was just as beautiful as always, it was completely different without my DW by my side. I called her, described the beauty and the loneliness, and asked her if she would like to return there with me the following month. It took her about two seconds to say "yes". We had some long talks about everything during that trip, set some boundaries and made some agreements, and ultimately decided it was time for me to move back into our home.

We've never looked back. God healed all of the hurts we had both nurtured over the years. He gave us a short memory for the pain, and a long memory for the joys. And He has filled the last six years with a series of miracles in healing our family and restoring relationships we thought were forever compromised. I like to say that I now walk with "an attitude of gratitude". My heart is filled with thanksgiving for all the Lord has blessed me with--and little of that is of a material nature, because the focus is on the restoration of our marriage and family, and of all of the wonderful friends who walked with us through the dark times and new friends who have come into our lives now that we're a much more pleasant couple to be around.

Yesterday, we celebrated the latest miracle: our 40th wedding anniversary. No, we weren't able to go on the big trip we had planned, nor could I even take her out to dinner at a 5-star restaurant as I had planned. Honestly, it didn't matter. We recounted a lot of funny stories about experiences we've shared over those 40 years, and ate some homemade soup and watched a double feature on Netflix. It was a perfect day to celebrate.

WallnutBaron, You give All of use still married and those who are separated even more. Thanks.

 

[WinniWoman]

Like you, I was also raised poor by a single mother and my grandmother. I never really felt like I was poor because I grew up in a rural part of Alabama and most other people were in the same situation. I remember when The Beatles White Album was released, none of the stores in Clanton where I lived had it. My mother drove me to a town 50 miles away to get it. I always had plenty to eat and there wasn’t much to do anyway except attend high school events so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. However, there wasn’t really anywhere to work and earn a decent wage. My mother worked in a cotton mill and that is where I started at age 16. It didn’t take me long to decide I sure didn’t want to do that the rest of my life. At 18, my girlfriend got pregnant and we got married. I completed one year of college after our son was born but knew I had to get a steady job and Birmingham was my best option. Fortunately, I was hired to work in the stockroom in the regional office of a national insurance company. My wife moved us to a Birmingham suburb the week I started my job. We’ve lived in the area ever since, 46 years. I worked up to an IT position where I spent 35 years. My wife worked a few jobs and ended up with a clerical position in the US Marshals office in Birmingham. In the late 80’s, the Marshals Service needed more women deputies in their ranks and she was asked to apply. She did and was selected. We both went on to earn 6 figure salaries by the time we retired.

So, we overcame a lot to become successful professionally. But, the hardest thing we ever had to overcome was the death of our son. He was killed in an automobile accident in 1991 at the age of 18. I still can’t describe what it was like. There are no words for those feelings. We survived by necessity. We had a 7 year old daughter that required our attention and sanity. We took care of her and poured ourselves into projects around the house that kept our hands and minds occupied for several months. The only thing that helped was the passage of time.

To bring this back around, my wife and I have now been married for 47 years. We’ve endured many things that alone break up a lot of marriages; getting married as teenagers, teenage pregnancy, losing a child (the divorce rate for parents who lose a child is very high). Of course, I’ve had moments when I wondered if we would make it. Amazingly, I don’t know that my wife has. She is a very positive person and just never thinks she, or we, can’t do something. She is the rock. So, the greatest moments I’ve ever had are marrying her and the births of our children. All of my success in life stems from those 3 moments.


Harry

Harry- wow. Surviving such challenges and heartache. God bless.

 

[WinniWoman]

I am humbled by others stories. I have not had any challenges like these. I have been very lucky in life. Sure going to work each day was a big challenge for me because I hated it. We have had some situations like problems with a rental investment, some marriage difficulties, dealing with my parents when they were dying, things here and there that made life hard. But nothing like poverty, losing a home or losing a child (the worst).

To me life is always a fight somehow. I guess that is why I can't sleep.

 

[WinniWoman]

OK. I got one now. Growing up in a home with a Type A Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde alcoholic father was a real challenge and why I got married at age 21 as soon as I graduated college. Dad always worked and he loved his family but was a tortured soul. he could be very scary, he hit my mom, he broke furniture, he sleep walked, etc. He was highly critical when drunk.

Lots of nightmare experiences with him in our home and my mom, strong as she was, enabling him. I guess why I was always kind of nervous and had a lot of anxiety and preferred introversion, though I was/am gregarious and somewhat social.

My mothers father- my grandfather- was also an alcoholic and he would stay at our house a lot so you can just imagine.

 

[Panina]

I have endured through many hardships, but the hardest was when my husband passed away, suddenly from a brain aneurysm when I was 48. The pain I experienced I wish on no one. Knowing he would want me to be okay I strived to live life in his memory as he loved life. All these years later he is still part of me. I still have sadness from losing him but also have my strength within because of him.

 

[TravelTime]

I am humbled by others stories. I have not had any challenges like these. I have been very lucky in life. Sure going to work each day was a big challenge for me because I hated it. We have had some situations like problems with a rental investment, some marriage difficulties, dealing with my parents when they were dying, things here and there that made life hard. But nothing like poverty, losing a home or losing a child (the worst).

To me life is always a fight somehow. I guess that is why I can't sleep.

Your story sounds harder than everyone else’s. Childhood trauma is the worst. I know. I will leave my hardship at that.

 

[geist1223]

My Mom left High School at 15 and got married. Years later saw my Mom's 1st Wedding License and I knew my Oldest Brother's birth date. Nope she was not pregnant when she got married. She really did simply want to escape from her Mother. First Husband never returned to her after WW II. Mom did graduate from Oregon State in her 50's. My Dad was her 3rd Husband. Dad graduated from High School and at 19 joined the Navy. In 21 years he went from E1 to O4. They had 3 Boys together. Mom and Dad never really talked about College. Yet 3 out of the 4 Boys did graduate from College. The 4th did about 2 years. 2 out of 4 got Post Graduate Degrees. Ron had his own Photography Business for about 50 years. Rick gave up Fire Fighting when he married a woman from Denmark and he has been a Pig Farmer in Denmark for about 40 years. Mike got his Post Graduate Degree in Forest Management and had a long and very successful career with the US Forest Service. I spent 5.5 years in the Marine Corps. Went from 01 to O3. Got out went to Law School. I was in The Army Reserves during Law School and went into the US Army JAG Corps for a little over 5 years. Got out to bring the kids home to Oregon but stayed in the Army Reserves until I had my time for Retirement. After the Active Army I was a Senior Deputy Distirct Attorney assigned to an Interagency Narcotics Team in Southern Oregon. After 9.5 years of excitement i became an In-House Trial Attorney for an Insurance Company. We were able to retire at 58. Most of my nieces and nephews (and my kids) have continued the climb upward.

 

[VacationForever]

It is inspiring to read everyone's posts. Thank you all for sharing.