Vacationing with Another Family for 1st time - pointers?

[julienjay]

On Friday, we are going to Shadow Ridge with another family. We have requested that our condos be side by side.

We both have 2 kids age 7 and 5.

These are good friends but I am a bit nervous because we have never vacationed with another family before.

Does anyone have any pointers for vacationing with another family? Questions that come to mind are: do you do everything together, or do some things separately? Have an itinerary or play it by ear?

We with both have our own cars.

Thanks for any advice you can provide!

 

[rsnash]

I've vacationed with another couple before, but we don't have kids and neither did they. However, I find a good rule of thumb when traveling with friends is to not try to do everything together. Perhaps plan one or two outings, or say "we're planning on doing X for dinner, would you all like to join us?" With similarly aged kids, another thing you might want to do is take turns taking all the kids once or twice, so that the other couple can have a date night.

 

[Dori]

My only rule is, 'Don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee!".

Dori

 

[isisdave]

Plan some separate times or days. A week of constant togetherness is hard.

What's really great is for one couple to manage all the kids one day, giving the other couple the day off, and or course reversing the favor on a later day; that is, if the kids are all cool with that. It gives you a chance to do things kids would never enjoy. Doesn't have to be all day either, maybe just midafternoon to bedtime.

Also, maybe the moms or dads would like to do certain activities (shopping? golf?) together that their spouses wouldn't care to do.

 

[IngridN]

We've vacationed with family members (cousins) and we talk to each other beforehand to get an idea of what we each want to do. Then we schedule...the guys head off to Bass while the girls shop, shop, shop. Do things together and separately.

The key, IMHO, is to talk to each other.

Ingrid

 

[philemer]

I'll second the "schedule some separate time" idea. Indulge you & your spouse for at least one dinner/event by yourselves. A week is a LONG time if you don't do a few separate things.

 

[mrsstats]

We have been vacationing with my brother & sister in law for 15 years. Since he bought his 1st timeshare at Orange Lake. We have no kids, they have 2. Now the kids are grown. We always had separate cars. We would plan things together but took 2 cars in case 1 wanted to leave. For the most part we would have breakfast & dinner together. Now we still vacation together, still 2 cars and most nights meet for dinner. Dont expect to do everything together, its better that way

 

[applegirl]

With similarly aged kids, another thing you might want to do is take turns taking all the kids once or twice, so that the other couple can have a date night.

I certainly second this motion!

Like others have said, I think communication is the key. Their expectations may be way out of line with yours and you don't want anyone blind sided.
Personally, I would schedule certain things together: maybe a couple of dinners/BBQ's at the property together, each couple a date night out (if this is important to both couples, if not, don't push the idea), a few times together at the pools, maybe a group activity (breakfast out, Children's discover museum in Rancho Mirage, dinner out, etc...), Mom's timeout and a Dad's timeout. But for sure, I don't think either family would want or expect to be together all the time. It's important to have just FAMILY TIME. That's why you need to talk soon about expectations. What if they do expect to always be together? (although unlikely). A group outing to The River for dinner and a movie would be fun. Or maybe doing the dive-in movie theater on SAT. night would be fun to do together.

I hope you have a blast! It's our home resort and we love it. We are going in October.

Janna

 

[talkamotta]

I took all my kids and thier families and another set of inlaws to Orlando. 19 of us in 2 timeshares. Thanksgiving is the only day we all were together for the day.

One day the boys went to a professional football game in Tampa and the rest of us went to Disney. Another day some went to Universal and some went to the beach. One family didnt have much money so some of us stayed at the condo with them and we rode bikes, paddle boats and miniature golf while others went to the parks.

Everyone got to do what they wanted, stay within thier budgets and have fun.

 

[LUVourMarriotts]

I would also suggest some time apart. You also need to make this decision based on your knowledge of the other family and your family. What I mean is, if your family likes to rest and have calm vacations but the other family likes to go all the time, then agree with them before you go that you won't be doing everything together. I think the key is agreement before you get there. Otherwise, if you try to tell the other family while you are on vacation, it may spoil their expectations and the attitude of the whole vacation could change. We had an occassion where we took another couple with us. The other couple planned out every minute of every day. We don't vacation like that, so they were a little upset when we didn't want to do certain things with them.

 

[lprstn]

I travel with other families a lot...sometimes its pleasant, sometimes not. The most pleasant experience include us doing the following

- Planned activities some of the time we are there (usually a dinner and a couple of fun activities)
- Offer up 3 hours of fun for the other couple to do something nice & vice versa (most people don't want to keep anyone's kid for more than 3 hours)
- Let them know some of the things you plan on doing, in case they want to come along
- Definately have separate time from each other
- Since the kids are similar ages you can probably put them all in some activity and do an adult lunch/dinner too

Enjoy, and don't take things so personal...life is too short and so is vacation

 

[CatLovers]

I have a one-pager you may find helpful

I have a one-pager I compiled a couple of years ago based on input from TUGgers and other sources. Titled "Ground Rules", it was intended to cover the situation where you invited friends to share your unit, but most of the points would also apply here. PM or e-mail me with your e-mail address if you'd like it, it's a pdf attachment.

 

[Phill12]

We have done this a few times and I can tell you the first rule and this if not followed can turn a vacation fast!

Do not try and make all the plans for the week having them or you do everything the other person wants to do.

We have one wife of a friend that has to plan everything each day and expects everyone to follow her around. Many of their friends will not go anywhere any longer with them.

Talk about your trip and plan to have few meals like first night and last night out as a group. After this just listen to the others and play it by ear.

Don't try and be the tour leader even if you have been to the place and they have not!

Have fun and let others do the same!

PHIL

 

[Icc5]

Done it, Love it

We also have done it several times and my biggest suggestion would be to talk ahead of time. Plan a few things, play some by ear. Keep remembering the whole time that it is a vacation. Different people relax in different ways and you want everyone to be relaxed and happy. We have always done gatherings like this in a few cars. Chores need to be shared either you cook, I clean or visa versa or today I cook, tomorrow you cook.
Remember kids need their space too from other kids and sometimes from parents.
I cannot stress enough though, talk ahead of time. That way if someone is a planner then a few things get planned but not all. Agree on the relaxing so nobody feels cheated.
Bart

 

[mepiccolo]

We often times vacation with friends and usually they have kids also. It is important that both families don't feel obligated to always do things together. It actually makes it much more enjoyable if you plan on meeting up to barbeque together a couple of times, because it is so difficult to always eat with another family. Of course saying, "We're going down to BJ's Pizza tonight, if you guys are free (or wherever) is a great way to invite without anyone feeling obligated. It is great to let each set of parentshave a date night while the other set of parents watches the kids. Its really nice to be with friends on vacation, but too much togetherness is not a good thing.

 

[skimble]

I can tell you a "fly by the seat of your pants" approach isn't real effective. Have you heard the phrase, "herding cats?"
We had a family trip recently with about 18 people and no set plans. Every night it was, "what do you want to do for dinner?" And each person would volunteer to bring something. Nearly All meals were done together (full group leftovers for lunch), except breakfast, and this was a huge part of the day. We started planning and even making dinner at about 4 and we were done eating by about sunset.

While it was nice to get together with family, the herd and the heavy focus on food was a bit much.
Trying to stay on topic, but I know this is a little askew... Do any of you have any suggestions on how to free up some time here? (to take the focus off meals?)
BTW-- we're a relatively trim bunch.

 

[MRSFUSSY]

Think positive

about the whole thing. We all have our likes and dislikes, so easy to make plans to suit each other. I think that our group trys to "give & take" a lot.

 

[talkamotta]

While it was nice to get together with family, the herd and the heavy focus on food was a bit much.
Trying to stay on topic, but I know this is a little askew... Do any of you have any suggestions on how to free up some time here? (to take the focus off meals?)
BTW-- we're a relatively trim bunch.

It depends on who you go with and how many and where. When 19 of us went to Orlando. We did meals like beef stroganoff, chicken, spaghetti w/ragu, lasagna. The lasagna was Stauffers. Things that could be made easily and could be heated if some of the people werent hungry or came in a little later. Made breakfast one day but the rest of the time it was muffins or cereal.

When we go to Hawaii -(then there are 4 of us) the first day we always go to Costco (they are all by the airport) and we either grab the pizza or the roasted chicken. Buy a couple of bags of salads and veggie tray, cold cuts and wine/beer. For breakfast its coffee, milk, cereal or muffins. Lunch its cold cuts or left overs. When we go with the parents, they love to spend some of the afternoons or early evening having some wine with cheese, smoked salmon, a pickle, a little dressing on a cracker. You have 4 of those and wine and no need for dinner.

We will barbeque steaks, chicken at least 2x, maybe slow cook some ribs or king crab if its under $10/lb.

We usually plan dinner for 4 of our 7 nights. We like eating in most of the time but one or two meals will be trying local restaurants.

 

[applegirl]

We will barbeque steaks, chicken at least 2x, maybe slow cook some ribs or king crab if its under $10/lb.

We usually plan dinner for 4 of our 7 nights. We like eating in most of the time but one or two meals will be trying local restaurants.

Finally, someone who actually cooks and uses that kitchen in the spacious timeshares we all love! I like eating out too, but I also like saving money (and besides, I like to cook and my food turns out yummy!).

Janna