• The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 29 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered!
  • TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!

    Come check it out for a chance to win a Free TUG membership (or renewal) just for helping out!

    Read more here
  • TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $18,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!

    Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $18 Million dollars
  • Our 2022 Timeshare Survey is now complete and the full results as well as our expert and witty analysis of each question is available here: Here We hope you enjoy reading the results as much as we did!
  • Follow the TUG Member Banner as it travels the world on vacation with Timeshare owners! Also sign up to get the banner sent to you so you can submit a photo of your vacation with the banner to share with TUG! Banner Thread
  • Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free! 50,000+ subscribers! Latest resort reviews and the most important topics discussed by owners during the week!
  • Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!

    Read more Here
  • A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!

Thoughtlessness is Depressing Me

dago

TUG Member
Joined
May 16, 2014
Messages
379
Reaction score
205
Points
153
Location
Northeast Ohio
@heathpack I have no additional advice to offer beyond the words in my first post: Let it go. Allowing yourself to feel depressed about your relatives isn't worth the energy it takes to feel that way. Disappointed? Sure. You are absolutely entitled to feel that way. But none of this situation can be solved by any amount of conversation you could have with your relatives. Guilting or manipulating them into doing something for your Mom won't change their underlying attitudes. Your points about "false" changes to get what they want are well-considered. You have to let those adults live their lives as they see fit. Remember how they've acted in all of this, and don't allow yourself to go down this road again.

I hope your Mom continues to improve, and that you are able to focus on the important things in your life. Give your fur kids extra hugs, and know they will give you every bit of sincere affection and emotional support they can. In addition, know that your Tug friends care about you and this situation, and we would gladly help out, if we could. I learned long ago that the best families are the ones you make, not necessarily the one you're born into.

Hugs, kid.

Dave
[/QUOTE

Well said.
 

nerodog

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,277
Reaction score
1,448
Points
523
Location
Portugal
Perhaps you could continue to guide, semi-direct the younger generation, e.g. nieces and nephews, who can still learn but are clueless. If your SIL is your niece's example, then I can see why your niece hasn't learned those good behaviors.
Maybe text to say "Grandma's feeling much better now and would love to hear from you, her cell number is ###". Even tho' they might have the number, a linked cell # is just one thumbpress away to call rather than expecting them to look it up. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but....

I think you handled your SIL & her dog situation very well. Sounds like she wanted confirmation from you on what she wanted to do. Likely her local vet gave her the same advice as you did, but she didn't want to follow it.

Just my opinion, but perhaps since your SIL's husband, your brother, is deceased, she thinks she has little/no obligation any longer to his side of the family? :shrug: I'm not excusing her; she sounds very selfish, self-absorbed.
Rather than text, is it possible to have a conversation on the phone?
 

nerodog

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,277
Reaction score
1,448
Points
523
Location
Portugal
I'm just thinking how a conversation might be better. Hearing a voice and all the emotion, disappointment. Feelings
.expressing how you feel is more productive for you in this instance. She's absorbed with the dog and doesn't seem to think about you and your Mom. A firm but gentle reminder along with offering assistance for dogs since you can help her. With that you tell her how yiu feel about her actions. Call her on it so she can learn how she is coming across to you and probably others.
 

nerodog

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,277
Reaction score
1,448
Points
523
Location
Portugal
@heathpack I have no additional advice to offer beyond the words in my first post: Let it go. Allowing yourself to feel depressed about your relatives isn't worth the energy it takes to feel that way. Disappointed? Sure. You are absolutely entitled to feel that way. But none of this situation can be solved by any amount of conversation you could have with your relatives. Guilting or manipulating them into doing something for your Mom won't change their underlying attitudes. Your points about "false" changes to get what they want are well-considered. You have to let those adults live their lives as they see fit. Remember how they've acted in all of this, and don't allow yourself to go down this road again.

I hope your Mom continues to improve, and that you are able to focus on the important things in your life. Give your fur kids extra hugs, and know they will give you every bit of sincere affection and emotional support they can. In addition, know that your Tug friends care about you and this situation, and we would gladly help out, if we could. I learned long ago that the best families are the ones you make, not necessarily the one you're born into.

Hugs, kid.

Dave
This is true Dave! You may not be able to change others but you can change how you handle the situation at hand. Don't be a doormat. Right?! Always there but never there for your time of need.
 

heathpack

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
4,470
Reaction score
3,211
Points
448
Location
Los Angeles
Resorts Owned
Hyatt High Sierra and Highland Inn
Disney’s Grand Californian and Hilton Head Island
Marriott Barony Beach and Mountainside
Sheraton Broadway Plantation
This is true Dave! You may not be able to change others but you can change how you handle the situation at hand. Don't be a doormat. Right?! Always there but never there for your time of need.
Doormat? Are you kidding me?
 

easyrider

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2005
Messages
12,983
Reaction score
6,213
Points
898
Location
Palm Springs of Washinton
Resorts Owned
Worldmark * * Villa Del Palmar UVCI * * Vacation Internationale*
Good... no offense meant... just feel some family members can wear out their welcome and take advantage . I'm glad you are not . I'm on your side believe me.
They do. She knows. Me too !

Bill
 

geekette

Guest
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
10,672
Reaction score
5,345
Points
848
I have family members that are downright cruel so I say let it go. Live and act in accordance to your own compass. there is generally only heartache when contemplating how others behave so I don’t dwell.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tia
Top