Retirement Discussions - respect for DaveNV/Dave Slater

[rapmarks]

So sorry.
AI says :
Family history and certain genetic mutations can increase the risk, but lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, and smoking also play a significant role in its development.
The University of Utah ouhealth.com

I can’t help but laugh of the idea of my grandparents working out, and I know my grandmother never smoked nor probably ever had an alcoholic drink. My grandparents were born in the 1890s .
It is the modern drugs for cholesterol and high blood pressure that prolonged my parents and some of my aunts lives. I remember when my father had a quadruple bypass in his fifties. The procedure was fairly new, he stayed in the hospital two weeks, and there were so many people that didn’t survive the surgery while he was there. But he lived another thirty years. But my uncle only survived one year after his open heart surgery, which was performed before my father.

 

[Timeshare Von]

Your genes may be fine, Yvonne, so don't assume. Pay attention to your lifestyle. You may change your mind about 80 as you get closer!
COPD is usually induced by lifestyle, e.g., smoking, or even air polution.
Aortic aneurysm can be genetic and/or related to lifestyle, such as smoking or high blood pressure.

If you haven't had cancer in your family, then think "good genes" *and* healthy lifestyle.
Until my mom died 7 years ago at 93 having had both kidney cancer and breast cancer X2, we had, to my knowledge, not had cancer in the family for at least 3 generations. Of my 8 great-grandparents, all born in the late 1800's, 3 lived into their 90's. I knew them when I was a young child -- so I know I have good genes. I'm not bragging......it is what it is. But lifestyle choices make a huge difference. Except for my father, who quit at 40, they were all non-smokers and Protestant teetotalers. Well, I screwed that last one up, but I usually limited my drinking to one glass of wine after dinner. And when I turned 70 a few years ago I switched to non-alcoholic wine and mocktails because I knew that, in truth, alcohol is a poison to the body and I couldn't justify it at my age.

Good to know and I appreciate the encouragement.

I know my genes aren't the best . . . Dad's aortic aneurysm was genetic as his father died with one in 1934 and my uncle (Dad's brother) died from one 18 months after my Dad died. The doctors back in the time thought it was passed down through the Y chromosome (male to male) . . . but nobody was tested genetically post-death so we're unsure.

I do know that I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) which is genetic. And while I have not been tested, my sister's son also has it and has an ICD (as do I) for the condition.

As an ovarian cancer survivor (now 11 years with surgical "cure") I am hopeful to never have cancer again, but there is always that possibility. Since my Mom barely made it to menopause, us girls (I have 2 younger sisters) don't really know what we inherited in terms of the known female cancers. I was tested back in 2015 and was negative for the known variants linked to ovarian & breast cancer, but did have a set of variants of "uncertain significance" (I think was how it was worded in the results).

So for me . . . I'm living my best life. Yes as I get older, I do seem to be more comfortable about the thoughts of living longer . . . so who knows how I'll be feeling as I approach my 80's. Yes, so far so good on heading towards my 70's . . . but the number of heart and heart related issues continue to increase.

 

[WinniWoman]

Your genes may be fine, Yvonne, so don't assume. Pay attention to your lifestyle. You may change your mind about 80 as you get closer!
COPD is usually induced by lifestyle, e.g., smoking, or even air polution.
Aortic aneurysm can be genetic and/or related to lifestyle, such as smoking or high blood pressure.

If you haven't had cancer in your family, then think "good genes" *and* healthy lifestyle.
Until my mom died 7 years ago at 93 having had both kidney cancer and breast cancer X2, we had, to my knowledge, not had cancer in the family for at least 3 generations. Of my 8 great-grandparents, all born in the late 1800's, 3 lived into their 90's. I knew them when I was a young child -- so I know I have good genes. I'm not bragging......it is what it is. But lifestyle choices make a huge difference. Except for my father, who quit at 40, they were all non-smokers and Protestant teetotalers. Well, I screwed that last one up, but I usually limited my drinking to one glass of wine after dinner. And when I turned 70 a few years ago I switched to non-alcoholic wine and mocktails because I knew that, in truth, alcohol is a poison to the body and I couldn't justify it at my age.

My 91 year old friend, and her mom before her who lived into her 90’s, have/had an alcoholic drink every evening their entire adult lives. At younger ages even several drinks at times.

Same with my favorite aunt. Drank wine almost every day into her 90’s.

 

[SusanRN]

My 91 year old friend, and her mom before her who lived into her 90’s, have/had an alcoholic drink every evening their entire adult lives. St younger ages w en several drinks at times.

Same with my favorite aunt. Drank wine almost every day into her 90’s.

Yup. Not everyone is affected [and maybe good genes outweighed the alcohol?], but it can be devastating if you are.
My ex drank heavily before I met him at 27, minimally during our marriage, and then heavily after we divorced 12 years later. Ended up with Lewy Body Dementia at 68 and died 3 years later. Lots of anecdotal stories going both ways, I imagine.
And, yes, my uncle (who had those good family genes] drank at least a couple of beers every day and passed at 83 from COPD (he was a heavy smoker, too). You can't always draw a straight line to death.
Would I still have a couple of drinks at a party if I were 35? Sure. But not 5, and not several times a week.
But at 74 and with poor balance, which enters into my decision, I've chosen to do away with my nightly imbibe. I try to imitate the "fun" part by using a pretty wine glass or martini glass. My favorite mocktail is a Nitro Mockapolitan, which has a fizzy pop with an appealing burst of scent when the can is opened. My favorite NA wine is Surely Brut. When it's served very cold, it's pretty close to real sparkling white.
And I will have an occasional drink if I'm dining out -- I'm not an absolutist.
I imagine my using the word "poison" to describe alcohol could set people off, but it's true! Each person weighs the pro's and con's for themself.
When the recommendations to drink red wine came out many years ago, based on people living in Blue Zones and even those living in retirement communities with a "happy hour," my personal take on it was that the effect might be related to people interacting socially rather than something in the wine, but who knows? More recent interpretations of the data indicate that scientists don't know if it's "the wine, the fellowship, or the combination." Also, when drinking wine is built into a culture, it involves moderation, which is definitely not the case in much of American culture.

 

[rapmarks]

My 91 year old friend, and her mom before her who lived into her 90’s, have/had an alcoholic drink every evening their entire adult lives. St younger ages w en several drinks at times.

Same with my favorite aunt. Drank wine almost every day into her 90’s.

Yup
I have Copd and never smoked
I have had multiple cancers and no one else in family has had cancer
I know plenty of heavy drinkers who are of advanced age but healthy
Yesterday when I went to the cancer center, there was a guy outside smoking. He had the look I have seen during my frequent visits, very sick. Probably in for cancer treatment but having a cigarette before they hooked him up.
When I was teaching, we lost two 43 year old teachers within two weeks. One was a runner. Both had sudden heart attacks

 

[Glynda]

You just never know. I'm not advocating, nor totally following, my adoptive mother's lifestyle. However, she, who raised me from birth, is 104 and ate everything we are now told we shouldn't and drank at least two Canadian Whiskey's with Coca Cola every night. Strong ones. She was a great Southern cook and I was raised on just about everything battered and fried in Crisco or bacon fat with gravy on top!. Every vegetable contained bacon or bacon fat and chicken bouillon. She loves lots of salt. There was always dessert and often cornbread or biscuits. She adores chocolate and has eaten a good bit everyday and still does. She did physically work very hard every day and ate a lot of vegetables and fruits too. It wasn't genetic as all but one of her parents and siblings died of heart attacks or cancer in their 70's. The one lived to 90. Mother never had a heart condition or high cholesterol or cancer except for some skin cancers. She has taken some blood pressure meds over her later years but they are often changing the dose up or down or taking her off completely. Other than Parkinson's, which was never really diagnosed as it began in her 90's and they wrote her off and didn't bother to do any testing or prescribe anything but Carbidapo, she's been healthy. She had a good, purposeful, useful and enjoyable life up until her late 90's. For most of the 13 years that she lived with us, she played Bridge at the church, traveled to stay with friends or they here with her. She cooked for us and others, walked the neighborhood with her walker, and had frequent drop in visits from younger friends she made here. She's now in a nursing home and had we been able to keep her with us, we would most likely still be walking at least part of the block with her and her walker every day. She was having trouble getting up and down from her chair or bed so she went in to re-hab hoping to build strength to transfer more easily and ended up in a nursing home, IMO, because they were so afraid of their liability that they took her ability to walk away from her. Now she uses her feet and arms to either roll or drag herself down and back the hallway most days which she calls her "exercise." Her mind is sometimes confused but for the most part, she's still sharp as a tack. She can barely see because of macular degeneration and her hearing isn't great and shaking of her hands doesn't allow her to do much with them. She's forgotten how to use a remote control and cell phone as the sight and shaking prohibited her from hitting the right buttons. We've installed an Alexa Show 21 in her room and she voice dials and we can drop in. Otherwise, she just sits, sleeps and enjoys her chocolates. And she is miserable. She hates it. We hate it for her. It costs $16,000 a month and the conditions are terrible. We tried private care but 24/7 private care costs almost twice as much through an agency and is even more unreliable. My husband will be 79 this month and I will be 78 in the summer. We are not athletes. Not in the very best shape. And still enjoy some fried food and gravy now and then as well as our cocktails. We just got back from climbing 850 steps during at least each of 4 excursions and walking 2 to 3 miles a day in Japan and South Korea. We had to climb and climb and squeeze through narrow openings and bend almost halfway over in a dripping wet cavern in Japan. I'd hate to think I'd want to stop living by 80! We've got two more trips on the books for 2027 so far! I hope that they are not our last.

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

Yup. Not everyone is affected [and maybe good genes outweighed the alcohol?], but it can be devastating if you are.
My ex drank heavily before I met him at 27, minimally during our marriage, and then heavily after we divorced 12 years later. Ended up with Lewy Body Dementia at 68 and died 3 years later. Lots of anecdotal stories going both ways, I imagine.
And, yes, my uncle (who had those good family genes] drank at least a couple of beers every day and passed at 83 from COPD (he was a heavy smoker, too). You can't always draw a straight line to death.
Would I still have a couple of drinks at a party if I were 35? Sure. But not 5, and not several times a week.
But at 74 and with poor balance, which enters into my decision, I've chosen to do away with my nightly imbibe. I try to imitate the "fun" part by using a pretty wine glass or martini glass. My favorite mocktail is a Nitro Mockapolitan, which has a fizzy pop with an appealing burst of scent when the can is opened. My favorite NA wine is Surely Brut. When it's served very cold, it's pretty close to real sparkling white.
And I will have an occasional drink if I'm dining out -- I'm not an absolutist.
I imagine my using the word "poison" to describe alcohol could set people off, but it's true! Each person weighs the pro's and con's for themself.
When the recommendations to drink red wine came out many years ago, based on people living in Blue Zones and even those living in retirement communities with a "happy hour," my personal take on it was that the effect might be related to people interacting socially rather than something in the wine, but who knows? More recent interpretations of the data indicate that scientists don't know if it's "the wine, the fellowship, or the combination." Also, when drinking wine is built into a culture, it involves moderation, which is definitely not the case in much of American culture.

Well, if you like <sweet> cocktails, here's one I invented recently. (I got to reading about the Tiki bars and decide I could make my own Tiki drink.) It's just as good as a "mocktail" as a real "leaded" drink.

The Texas Pop Gun

6 oz pineapple juice (one of those separate Dole cans)
1 jigger of grenadine (the non-alcoholic variety, I use Liber brand)
2 jigger Blood Orange liquer (Also non-alcoholic, and from Liber)

Choose you caliber:
Blanks - no alcohol (maybe a little water to thin out the mix. . . )
.22 - one jigger of alcohol
.45 - 2 jiggers
30-06 - 3 jiggers
Bazooka - 4 jiggers

(White Rum or Vodka)

Shake or Stir (I stir, don't want extra dishes to wash), serve in cocktail glasses.
Serves 2.

 

[geekette]

There is so much of 'me' that I've put into my house...
That, even though living alone in a big house is kinda silly,
It's now a part of my identity.

If it’s other people saying silly, ignore them. Putting yourself into a home and wanting to stay is not silly. It’s been difficult the last few years since I left my longterm home. Yes, it was too big for me solo, but it didn’t feel silly, it felt like Home and the only place that’s really felt Mine. This place, two years in, is starting to get my stamp on it but still far too much of previous owner identity. Unfortunately, drunken DIY isn’t my style.

 

[x3 skier]

If it’s other people saying silly, ignore them. Putting yourself into a home and wanting to stay is not silly. It’s been difficult the last few years since I left my longterm home. Yes, it was too big for me solo, but it didn’t feel silly, it felt like Home and the only place that’s really felt Mine. This place, two years in, is starting to get my stamp on it but still far too much of previous owner identity. Unfortunately, drunken DIY isn’t my style.

After 2 and 1/2 Years in my new place and having previously one house for 50 years that we built, the only thing that reminds me of the previous owners now is the mail that still comes for them to my address .

 

[rapmarks]

After 2 and 1/2 Years in my new place and having previously one house for 50 years that we built, the only thing that reminds me of the previous owners now is the mail that still comes for them to my address .

A nice lady, now 96 sold her villa to a friend of mine five years ago. Just this winter, my friend got a large check for the former owner from the bank or closing company. Because I had her daughter contact info, she tracked her down to assisted living and was able to mail the check to her. Totally with it still!

 

[easyrider]

My husband will be 79 this month and I will be 78 in the summer. We are not athletes. Not in the very best shape. And still enjoy some fried food and gravy now and then as well as our cocktails. We just got back from climbing 850 steps during at least each of 4 excursions and walking 2 to 3 miles a day in Japan and South Korea. We had to climb and climb and squeeze through narrow openings and bend almost halfway over in a dripping wet cavern in Japan. I'd hate to think I'd want to stop living by 80! We've got two more trips on the books for 2027 so far! I hope that they are not our last.

Very nice. I hope we all can do this at that age.

Bill

 

[jorcus]

Yup. Not everyone is affected [and maybe good genes outweighed the alcohol?], but it can be devastating if you are.
My ex drank heavily before I met him at 27, minimally during our marriage, and then heavily after we divorced 12 years later. Ended up with Lewy Body Dementia at 68 and died 3 years later. Lots of anecdotal stories going both ways, I imagine.
And, yes, my uncle (who had those good family genes] drank at least a couple of beers every day and passed at 83 from COPD (he was a heavy smoker, too). You can't always draw a straight line to death.
Would I still have a couple of drinks at a party if I were 35? Sure. But not 5, and not several times a week.
But at 74 and with poor balance, which enters into my decision, I've chosen to do away with my nightly imbibe. I try to imitate the "fun" part by using a pretty wine glass or martini glass. My favorite mocktail is a Nitro Mockapolitan, which has a fizzy pop with an appealing burst of scent when the can is opened. My favorite NA wine is Surely Brut. When it's served very cold, it's pretty close to real sparkling white.
And I will have an occasional drink if I'm dining out -- I'm not an absolutist.
I imagine my using the word "poison" to describe alcohol could set people off, but it's true! Each person weighs the pro's and con's for themself.
When the recommendations to drink red wine came out many years ago, based on people living in Blue Zones and even those living in retirement communities with a "happy hour," my personal take on it was that the effect might be related to people interacting socially rather than something in the wine, but who knows? More recent interpretations of the data indicate that scientists don't know if it's "the wine, the fellowship, or the combination." Also, when drinking wine is built into a culture, it involves moderation, which is definitely not the case in much of American culture.

I friend of mine's doctor told him if you want to live a long time don't fall. What causes people to fall? Too much Alcohol. Non Alcoholic beer and wine are getting much better these days I enjoy them.

 

[klpca]

I friend of mine's doctor told him if you want to live a long time don't fall. What causes people to fall? Too much Alcohol. Non Alcoholic beer and wine are getting much better these days I enjoy them.

I agree that not falling is a huge help towards maintaining your independence. While drinking can definitely increase fall risk, age and muscle weakness from not exercising is a big issue as well. My mother, age 87 (non-drinker) who is in excellent health has had three non injury falls recently. While she thinks that she does 10k steps per day, almost every single step is small and on flat ground. She has lost so much muscle strength in the past 5 years it is kind of shocking, but she will not attend any kind of exercise class - not even yoga. My teetotaller MIL (93) has fallen twice in 5 years - once in her yard, and once in the lobby of the hospital. Both of her falls resulted in breaks - a hip in the first fall, and a spiral fracture of her femur in the second. At that age a lengthy stay in rehab accompanies the surgery and it seems to have affected her cognitive abilities. It has been a steady downhill progression since the falls.

 

[rapmarks]

My husband had three bad falls within a year. He came home after surgery from the first one, it didn’t work so we self paid for three weeks of assisted living. The next two falls totally did him on. What was supposed to be respite care turned into permanent care and he fell over and over again there . It was a terrible way to spend the last months of his life
I heard falls are the third leading cause of death for the elderly

 

[Talent312]

I'm prepping for a trip to Machu Picchu in the Fall by walking everyday.
Being a flat-lander from Florida, it ain't gonna be easy.
I'll start doing steps at "Devil's Millhopper" (big sinkhole), 132 each way.

I'm told they have an abacus for you to track how many times you do it.
I asked, "Couldn't they just put in an escalator?"

 

[moonstone]

Non Alcoholic beer and wine are getting much better these days I enjoy them.

DH says the non-alcoholic beer has really improved in the last few years . He tried it many years ago and wasnt crazy on the taste. Maybe different brands are better than others, I cant even stand the smell of beer. I do enjoy non-alcoholic 'wine' and cocktails plus I drink a lot of the flavored carbonated water. I watch the sodium content and choose low to no numbers.

We had a good friend in Belize who with her DH owned and ran the bar where DH plays darts twice a week when we are down there. Of course being in a bar all day every day she drank. Not to the point of being drunk (that we saw in the late afternoon) but she had several drinks, (liquor & beer) every single day. 3 years ago she started complaining of stomach pain. Her family Dr told her she likely had fibroids given the area of pain. She put up with it for months and then when we were down there 2 years ago she was telling me about it and what she was then experiencing. I said I had fibroids and what you are describing doesnt sound like fibroids. I suggested she go to a specialist in Belize City which she did. After some tests it was discovered she had stage 4 colon cancer. There was no history of cancer in her family and the Dr told her it was likely from all the alcohol she had consumed. She lived for another 5 months and died at age 47 in Feb. 2024 leaving her DH and 2 sons aged 12 and 16 years old. Her DH really cut back on his drinking as did several other of their friends after that.



~Diane

 

[Tia]

I friend of mine's doctor told him if you want to live a long time don't fall. What causes people to fall? Too much Alcohol. Non Alcoholic beer and wine are getting much better these days I enjoy them.

As people age their balance declines, you can find exercises to help maintain/improve your balance. https://www.aarp.org/events/ free zoom classes

 

[Tia]

DH says the non-alcoholic beer has really improved in the last few years .............



~Diane

A friend was drinking an non-alcoholic beer the other day Ultra, thought it was really good

 

[AnnaS]

As people age their balance declines, you can find exercises to help maintain/improve your balance. https://www.aarp.org/events/ free zoom classes

I try to go twice a week - this specific class is offered three times a week - it's a Strength and Endurance class. Heel raisers, knee raisers, many and squat positions, overhead press, Front, upright, etc. etc. We are mostly 50 to 80s in age. A little exercise and a little socializing. Great for the mind too.

 

[jorcus]

I'm prepping for a trip to Machu Picchu in the Fall by walking everyday.
Being a flat-lander from Florida, it ain't gonna be easy.
I'll start doing steps at "Devil's Millhopper" (big sinkhole), 132 each way.

I'm told they have an abacus for you to track how many times you do it.
I asked, "Couldn't they just put in an escalator?"

To be honest I don't remember walking around Machu Picchu being that difficult unless you were planning on climbing the mountain which is something we did not do. The hardest part was getting off the plane at Cusco. Coming from low elevation to the 11,000 feet of Cusco threw us for a loop. We just moved very slow took it easy. The good news is that it's down hill to get to the sacred valley so if you get through the first 24 hours you should adjust to the altitude. Like you though we prepare for any tough trip with walks up and down hills. Have fun it's a great trip.

 

[joestein]

Well, if you like <sweet> cocktails, here's one I invented recently. (I got to reading about the Tiki bars and decide I could make my own Tiki drink.) It's just as good as a "mocktail" as a real "leaded" drink.

The Texas Pop Gun

6 oz pineapple juice (one of those separate Dole cans)
1 jigger of grenadine (the non-alcoholic variety, I use Liber brand)
2 jigger Blood Orange liquer (Also non-alcoholic, and from Liber)

Choose you caliber:
Blanks - no alcohol (maybe a little water to thin out the mix. . . )
.22 - one jigger of alcohol
.45 - 2 jiggers
30-06 - 3 jiggers
Bazooka - 4 jiggers

(White Rum or Vodka)

Shake or Stir (I stir, don't want extra dishes to wash), serve in cocktail glasses.
Serves 2.

Sorry, but pineapple juice, grenadine and blood orange liquer? That is just over the top sweet. I will never order a drink that has pineapple juice - it is too sweet.

 

[easyrider]

I will never order a drink that has pineapple juice

Me neither. Now I kind of wonder what pineapple juice would taste like in Crown Royal.

Bill

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

I gave clear warning it was a <SWEET> cocktail. Everybody's tastes vary. Ridiculously sweet? Shrug. A classic Tiki cocktail, dating back to the 1920's, before Tiki was a thing, is the Mary Pickford. White rum, pineapple juice, grenadine, and preserved cherries, and their juice. (Created for her in Cuba, when she was filming there.) I enjoy the subtle flavor interactions of the fruit juices. The alcohol is just a minor ingredient, as far as I'm concerned. I don't drink to get high.

 

[EZ-ED]

I retired in 2010 with plans to add a couple of more timeshares to the six we already owned. A year later my younger brother passed away and I decided that if something happened to me I did not want to burden my wife with trying to deal with six headaches of using/disposing of timeshares with all the hardships such entails. It took about a year but all went to new owners. We stayed members of Interval and have made use of getaways and took up cruising as well as using extended stay hotels like Residence Inn and filling in with hotel stays or escorted tours. Timeshares were great as it forced us to vacation while working but now we have alternatives. YMMV

 

[easyrider]

I don't drink to get high.

The only reason I drink, which isn't that often, is to get my buzz on. I like Crown on ice.

Bill