My husband fell

[easyrider]

Thanks for all the good wishes. We are supposed to fly south on the 11th. We will see what happens I have an appointment with a dementia specialist on oct 14 that took me six months to get

Good luck with everything. I hope all goes well. I usually write my important things to remember on the fridge if I can remember it that long.

Bill

 

[rapmarks]

Good luck with everything. I hope all goes well. I usually write my important things to remember on the fridge if I can remember it that long.

Bill

The appointment is for him

 

[geoand]

Hope that he heals. I am sure he is fortunate to have you look after him. I remember being a lousy patient when DW had to take care of me.

 

[Talent312]

... I usually write my important things to remember on the fridge if I can remember it that long...

I use Alexa for reminders. She's in 6 devices (4 dots + 2 thermostats).
When she speaks from all devices in unison, its quite intimidating.

I remember being a lousy patient when DW had to take care of me.

My DW goes to PT twice a week and I'm her chauffeur.
She uses a walker, which I help her with four times each trip.
I'm becoming a grumpy caretaker.

,

 

[rapmarks]

I can’t get him out of the chair or out of bed he was trying to take off the sling that issstabilizing his shoulder

 

[Patri]

Your tough situation just got tougher. Sometimes people heal quicker than the docs expect, but following directions helps. Your DH may not be able to.

 

[turkel]

So sorry to hear about your DH fall. You can only do what you can do. Hopefully he won’t injure himself further. Remember to spend some time each day taking care of your self! Best wishes.

 

[WinniWoman]

I can’t get him out of the chair or out of bed he was trying to take off the sling that issstabilizing his shoulder

If you can even get help, you really should try to hire someone to assist you with his care right now.

 

[Dori]

Sending good thoughts for a speedy recovery.

Dori

 

[pedro47]

Wishing your husband a speedy recovery and please ask for an assistant to help you. There is no harm in asking for help. Suggestion only.

IMHO. You do not need to become ill or weak at this time.

 

[Passepartout]

@rapmarks - I want to say this in the kindest way possible. You need to carefully assess your ability to be the sole caregiver for your husband. There may well come a time when you will need to turn his care over to more qualified hands. We know you care, but if you are not able to move him if he falls, if you lack the strength to safely transfer him in/out of bed or on/off the toilet, you need help. And if overdoing causes you injury, you both will end up in a care center. Nobody wants that.

Worrying about upcoming travel plans and far-away appointments right now after this recent injury is probably not helpful. The immediate issue is that you both need loving- and able- care.

The TUG community cares, but we can only do so much. We wish for all the help you need and for your husband's cooperation with his care for a speedy recovery.

Jim

 

[rapmarks]

Bad morning. He had removed shoulder strap and was flat on his back, I couldn’t move him and I was close to calling ambulance again.
My daughter and a friend were able to get him up and get strap back on.
My daughter has ordered a hospital bed for us.
I have been attending caregiver virtual meetings and classes. It is very difficult to get someone to move to a care facility. I have found a day care facility in Florida and was going to do that. I am not moving to assisted living with him. That is just a recipe for me to take care of him. also Covid is a big concern in facilities
I haven’t mentioned before but he thinks I have a boyfriend and go out all the time

 

[WinniWoman]

Bad morning. He had removed shoulder strap and was flat on his back, I couldn’t move him and I was close to calling ambulance again.
My daughter and a friend were able to get him up and get strap back on.
My daughter has ordered a hospital bed for us.
I have been attending caregiver virtual meetings and classes. It is very difficult to get someone to move to a care facility. I have found a day care facility in Florida and was going to do that. I am not moving to assisted living with him. That is just a recipe for me to take care of him. also Covid is a big concern in facilities
I haven’t mentioned before but he thinks I gave a boyfriend and go out all the time

He needs home health care or to be in assisted living. I hope you can work something out for both your sakes. This is a very hard situation. Prayers for both of you.

 

[Passepartout]

Bad morning. He had removed shoulder strap and was flat on his back, I couldn’t move him and I was close to calling ambulance again.
My daughter and a friend were able to get him up and get strap back on.
My daughter has ordered a hospital bed for us.
I have been attending caregiver virtual meetings and classes. It is very difficult to get someone to move to a care facility. I have found a day care facility in Florida and was going to do that. I am not moving to assisted living with him. That is just a recipe for me to take care of him. also Covid is a big concern in facilities
I haven’t mentioned before but he thinks I gave a boyfriend and go out all the time

I'm terribly sorry and concerned over the situation you both find yourselves in. How are you planning on getting him to Florida? These days flying is difficult enough for able bodied (and minded) people. Airports with few services. Masks required long distances to walk and fewer wheelchair assistants.

Does your state offer medical assistance on getting into facilities? From your description, your husband seems to need both memory care, AND now, physical assistance. You should not be the one to single-handedly, even with what help is available from your children, to provide all his care. A hospital bed may be helpful in keeping him in the bed, and free you up to not have to share the bed with him, allowing better rest for you both.

Dementia is a cruel thing. The demons that plant thoughts in the minds of the affected are REAL to them. In your husbands mind, you are the root of his problems, and if you were just there every time he opens his eyes everything would be OK. This is not likely to change when/if he gets into a care center.

All the best to you and your family.

Jim

 

[rapmarks]

I want to get him to Florida. I am not prepared to live in this cold climate. I have been cleaning out closets and everything in case we were unable to coMe back. I had arranged wheel chair assistance and help onto the plane. We may have to delay our return and I may have to hire someone to fly down with me He has tremors and is unsteady on his feet. Parkinson’s drug gave him nightmares. I had appointments with new doctors all set up

 

[dannybaker]

So very sorry.

 

[sue1947]

Lots of support your way; you are in a tough situation. My father had Parkinson's and we are now looking into assisted living for my mother. It's not easy and things never go as planned.
Is it possible to get your husband into a hospital/rehab center for a few days/week while his shoulder stabilizes? That would give you some time to sort things out and also give him the care he needs. That would be the normal way of things, but COVID has complicated things. However, the hospitals have gotten the COVID protocols figured out so don't let that stop you from looking into that. My mother fell and had a concussion which led to an emergency room visit and then 3 days in another hospital while they monitored her. I was able to visit daily and felt very safe with the protocols they had in place.
Sue

 

[rapmarks]

We just set up hospital bed and hopefully that will help. Too bad it us the weekend I have some individual caregiver names and may call someone for help

 

[pedro47]

Suggestion only I agree with sue1947, post, if you have an internal medicine doctor , asked to have your spouse evaluated in a rehabilitation center.

I hope you have some pain pills for your love one.

 

[DrQ]

Also, you may want to look into a lift recliner.

 

[clifffaith]

I want to get him to Florida. I am not prepared to live in this cold climate. I have been cleaning out closets and everything in case we were unable to coMe back. I had arranged wheel chair assistance and help onto the plane. We may have to delay our return and I may have to hire someone to fly down with me He has tremors and is unsteady on his feet. Parkinson’s drug gave him nightmares. I had appointments with new doctors all set up

I think hiring a male caregiver who can do potty stops and everything else that he needs on the trip down, and all the way to your second home or timeshare is the way to go. There was a terrible local story of couple visiting art museum and each going potty. Woman with dementia vanished in the few minutes her husband left her in women's room while he went to men's. It sounds like your husband could wander if not watched. I have to say that I worried about this scenario for you last year, now when a physical injury could be even more taxing to his mental faculties, I think it is imperative that you have help on the trip for both your sakes.

 

[amycurl]

I use Alexa for reminders.

My Alexa is *terrible* about reminders. I basically have to still remind *her* about quite a bit. I mean, she *is* fourteen years old....

There's three weeks before you need to head to FL. I think you could probably get him in a position to fly, because I think that appointment is uber-important, and I would do everything in my power to make sure he can make it.

 

[rapmarks]

I think hiring a male caregiver who can do potty stops and everything else that he needs on the trip down, and all the way to your second home or timeshare is the way to go. There was a terrible local story of couple visiting art museum and each going potty. Woman with dementia vanished in the few minutes her husband left her in women's room while he went to men's. It sounds like your husband could wander if not watched. I have to say that I worried about this scenario for you last year, now when a physical injury could be even more taxing to his mental faculties, I think it is imperative that you have help on the trip for both your sakes.

Funny but thus one area that seems to have remained intact. I also have dementia bracelet on him that has Lee county sheriff. The code will tell the sheriff to call me

 

[Sandi Bo]

So sorry to hear of your husband's fall. I sure hope you can get him south. 3 weeks gives you some time for him to heal, but sounds like you have quite a challenge on your hands. Take care of yourself, hope you can find some help.

 

[headoflife]

Sending good thoughts to both of you.