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My husband fell

Sugarcubesea

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I brought him home this weekend. I have to help him dress and shower. He walks pretty well, not shaky at all. He has always slept on the right side but he couldn’t get out of bed that way. So sleeping on left side and he can get up but it takes a lot of help.
I believe he has started sundowning, he is unfamiliar with the house in the evening.
Shoulder very slow healing, Still no strength, he can’t move the arm much and hoping it doesn’t freeze. It has been three and a half weeks, he is pleasant but confused.
Occupational therapist coming in morning. I know I won’t be able to leave him alone. I did get him into a research study on dementia in Florida planning to leave in three weeks and sure hope we can go

tonight is bad. I have had three hours of waiting on him. Make sure he can get up. How to turn off tv. How to turn on tv. Doesn’t like what is on tv. Turns it off. Makes me come back and turn it on. Then he can’t find the remote
My daughter made me feel like a heel for placing him in assisted living. Problem is he slept in front of tv all day and is wide awake now.

Don't let your daughter or anyone else make you feel like a heel. I agree with Pedro, ask your daughter to come over and spend a day with him while you get errands done, once someone walks in your shoes they will become silent. I'm glad your going to FL, I think it will be better to be in a warmer climate...much love
 

rapmarks

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My daughter hasn’t even come over to see him all weekend. She is a block away
The occupational therapist was here. She says he has gone downhill from a week ago. She says not being able to get out Of bed is mental not physical she made some recommendations
 

Sugarcubesea

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My daughter hasn’t even come over to see him all weekend. She is a block away
The occupational therapist was here. She says he has gone downhill from a week ago. She says not being able to get out Of bed is mental not physical she made some recommendations

If your daughter is too busy to come over then she is too busy to be telling you how to manager your hubby. I'm so sorry that you are going thru this by yourself....
 

Talent312

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IMHO, it was mistake to bring him home... You've well earned some peace + rest.
I suspect you could'a said, "We can't take him," and they would'a had to find a place.
Or your daughter could have stepped up to the plate. That's what kids are for, right?
.
 
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Glynda

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Brewster Green (two weeks).
I agree. Your daughter needs to care for him for a day and night at least and give you a break to go somewhere alone.
 

rapmarks

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My husband is mr sweetness when a younger woman is around. His mother was same way. I remember nursing home calling us that she was dying. Then six young emts showed up and she was batting her eyelashes at them
 

elaine

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at this point, you need to have the professionals assess what is best for him and what you can reasonably provide and proceed according to that, including assisted living arrangements, etc. You DD's view is fairly common with family..."no we can put mom/dad into a nursing home, etc.", not realizing the totality of the situation. It's never an easy thing. My DSIL just went through this with her Mom.
 
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nerodog

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You are the main decision maker and caretaker. Your daughter has several opinions yet doesnt seem to offer much needed care and support. I ran into this with my sibling who never seemed to be around when needed. Do you think perhaps it's too emotionally difficult to see this situation so she avoids ? Just a thought. Time to have a heart to heart with her. You are doing a great job.
 

rapmarks

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I have been riding around for weeks with my trunk full of donations for a thrift shop but no one is taking donations
I took out four belts and strung them together and but them through a leg of the bed. With my help my husband should be able to hold on and pull himself up. I have asked someone to pick up and install two safety bars in the shower. Might make life a little easier and safer
 

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I have been riding around for weeks with my trunk full of donations for a thrift shop but no one is taking donations
I took out four belts and strung them together and but them through a leg of the bed. With my help my husband should be able to hold on and pull himself up. I have asked someone to pick up and install two safety bars in the shower. Might make life a little easier and safer

Maybe a shower chair/stool would also be helpful.
 

sue1947

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I have been riding around for weeks with my trunk full of donations for a thrift shop but no one is taking donations
I took out four belts and strung them together and but them through a leg of the bed. With my help my husband should be able to hold on and pull himself up. I have asked someone to pick up and install two safety bars in the shower. Might make life a little easier and safer
My mother had a difficult time getting from the edge of the bed in the rest of the way. I tied some long shoelaces (think the kind of round ones used for leather boots so they are longer) around the bed rail on the opposite side of the bed and then tied a large loop at the other end. She could grab the laces and pull herself over enough to get into a sleeping position. Small enough to not get in the way for sleeping, but large enough to grab ahold of. It helped a great deal until she got her strength back.
 

MULTIZ321

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Tried that. Didn’t work he couldn’t get back up
Hi. Rapmarks,

Diid the shower chair have handles on both sides? Also was it within reach of a grab bar? That would make a big difference.

Richard
 

rapmarks

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Just got grab bars put in and a hand held shower head. Also had a rope installed going from bed frame at bottom. He can pull himself up now in bed.
 

VacationForever

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Just got grab bars put in and a hand held shower head. Also had a rope installed going from bed frame at bottom. He can pull himself up now in bed.
In nursing home they have "trapeze" for residents to get themselves out of bed. In a home environment you will need a contractor to install it.
 

rapmarks

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In nursing home they have "trapeze" for residents to get themselves out of bed. In a home environment you will need a contractor to install it.
Yes my brother in law has, he us permanently disabled . My husband Just needs a small assist and only until he gets more strength. And a licensed contractor did all the work here plus us putting in a gate at top of stairs
 
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clifffaith

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In nursing home they have "trapeze" for residents to get themselves out of bed. In a home environment you will need a contractor to install it.

For the life of me I couldn't remember what that was called. My mother has reordered a hospital bed because my dad is very close to not being able to stand long enough to move from wheelchair to LazyBoy/bed/commode. 22 months ago when he first came home from the hospital to hospice care he could use the trapeze; I'm 90% sure he couldn't use it at all now.
 

DeniseM

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Once you get to Florida, you can rent a hospital bed with an attached trapeze.
 

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For the life of me I couldn't remember what that was called. My mother has reordered a hospital bed because my dad is very close to not being able to stand long enough to move from wheelchair to LazyBoy/bed/commode. 22 months ago when he first came home from the hospital to hospice care he could use the trapeze; I'm 90% sure he couldn't use it at all now.
There are options like Hoyer lift and an even better one called Sara lift.
 

Sugarcubesea

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I have been riding around for weeks with my trunk full of donations for a thrift shop but no one is taking donations
I took out four belts and strung them together and but them through a leg of the bed. With my help my husband should be able to hold on and pull himself up. I have asked someone to pick up and install two safety bars in the shower. Might make life a little easier and safer

I had the same problem, I had truck filled with donations but no one is taking them in my area of MI. I finally just put everthing out at the curb last night and low and behold today is garbage day and all of that stuff is gone, just my garbage cans remain...

You are very resourceful, that was a great idea about the belts...
 

WinniWoman

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In nursing home they have "trapeze" for residents to get themselves out of bed. In a home environment you will need a contractor to install it.

A Hoyer Lift.
 

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Care.com may be a good resource to give yourself a break
 
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