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Mother’s Day Sadness

Panina

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I know I am not alone. With Mother’s Day approaching a sadness has engulfed me. This is the first Mothers Day I won’t be spending with my mom because of the virus.

I have always gone to NY to celebrate Mother’s Day and my birthday together. It is a yearly tradition. Sometimes it is a few days apart, this year the same day. Precious time taken from us. :(
 

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I have Mother’s Day sadness every year. I hate Mother’s Day and try my best to pretend it does not exist. I had a very horrific childhood and it was because my mother did not protect me. I think anyone who has a mom that loved and cared for them is so lucky. God bless your good mom!
 

b2bailey

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I have Mother’s Day sadness every year. I hate Mother’s Day and try my best to pretend it does not exist. I had a very horrific childhood and it was because my mother did not protect me. I think anyone who has a mom that loved and cared for them is so lucky. God bless your good mom!
TravelTime, I understand what you are saying. Sounds like your mom would have made mine look good. However, I used to dread Mother's Day because it was painful to read the 'oh so lovely' cards searching for something that would fit my mom. (Relieved that I no longer have that task to dread.)
 

Blues

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I know I am not alone. With Mother’s Day approaching a sadness has engulfed me. This is the first Mothers Day I won’t be spending with my mom because of the virus.

I have always gone to NY to celebrate Mother’s Day and my birthday together. It is a yearly tradition. Sometimes it is a few days apart, this year the same day. Precious time taken from us. :(

Hugs and condolences, Panina. I share your sadness, for a different reason. I lost my mother in November. She had a long, good life, though; she was 98 when she passed. So I'll think of you and send you good thoughts on Mothers Day. Perhaps you could do the same for me.
 

Panina

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I have Mother’s Day sadness every year. I hate Mother’s Day and try my best to pretend it does not exist. I had a very horrific childhood and it was because my mother did not protect me. I think anyone who has a mom that loved and cared for them is so lucky. God bless your good mom!
My mom was from the war era. It affected her tremendously. She has no trust in anyone, including me at times, a constant complainer, and whatever I do for her is only as good as the last thing I did. I did not have a normal childhood. She never got the help she needed but I did. I learned to accept she cannot change but I could and am as loving and compassionate as I can be. She still tries to control me with guilt but that is old news and does not work. I can somewhat understand how you feel. My father is now departed and was the nicest person and sometimes I feel why dad didn’t you protect me from mom. To his last living day he protected mom, not me. He many times said she is cuckoo but she loves you.
 

Panina

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Hugs and condolences, Panina. I share your sadness, for a different reason. I lost my mother in November. She had a long, good life, though; she was 98 when she passed. So I'll think of you and send you good thoughts on Mothers Day. Perhaps you could do the same for me.
This will be a rough Mother’s Day for you. The first Father‘s Day after my father passed was very difficult for me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Celebrate your moms life by remembering the things that made you smile about her.
 

chellej

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My Mom passed on mothers day in 2004.....it will be 16 years tommorow.....she always had a flair so I always felt it was intentional so we would never forget. At the time, she had been so sick for almost a year so it was a blessing when she passed.
 

AnnaS

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Try to think of it as any other day during the week if you can. Stay off social media too - it might help. You are right, not easy looking at all the pictures and posts of people sharing their day and you can't share your day with your mom.

I know it's hard. I miss my mom (she passed a few years ago). I also miss my daughter tremendously right now. She got married and moved to DE in Nov. I have not physically seen her since President's weekend. She mailed me a Mother's Day card and I just received a nice box of Petite Fours with Happy Mother's Day spelled across the sweets. It brings tears to my eyes. I would not have minded as much if we were seeing each other more often under normal times and she happened to be working Sunday. I would have just seen her another day she was off. :(
 
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Sugarcubesea

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I know I am not alone. With Mother’s Day approaching a sadness has engulfed me. This is the first Mothers Day I won’t be spending with my mom because of the virus.

I have always gone to NY to celebrate Mother’s Day and my birthday together. It is a yearly tradition. Sometimes it is a few days apart, this year the same day. Precious time taken from us. :(

Our Oldest son called last night and chatted with us via facetime and said he is just heartsick that he can not spend Mother's Day with me. His wife is pregnant with our 2nd grandchild and she has already had previous miscarriages, so we all want to keep her safe right now. Our only grandson gets on the phone with us while his dad is chatting and keeps saying he just wants to come over and play with us.

I just feel sad and despair washing over me as time marches on but I have to stay away from all those that I love. This is so sad and it just breaks my heart that we can not see folks except via Facetime.

My middle son is turning 25 this Saturday and all he wants is a cake and I have been trying for a week to get that for him and no luck...He has 3 favorite bakery's that he loves and all 3 are closed.
 

Beachclubmum

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I’m sorry for all who suffer through Mother’s Day. It’s a loaded day. Years ago I remember holding a sobbing friend at church who was suffering through infertility and I could so relate having gone through similar. This year brings its own disappointments for me too. Wishing peace to you all.
 

WinniWoman

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So sorry for everyone- moms who can't be with their kids- and sons and daughters who can't be with their moms. My mom is passed now since 2011. I never did get to the cemetery before we moved, but a friend of mine did while visiting her parents headstones and took a photo. Someone had put a palm cross at my parent's grave site- I think maybe a friend of my moms', so I felt a little better but sad it was not from me.

One thing I keep "talking" to my mom- both my parents actually- and "saying" "Can you believe this mom and dad? What is going on?" They must be rolling in their graves.

Funny our walking group was planning a different route in a state park and wants to do it on Mother's Day. Someone asked if anyone had any plans and we all looked at each other and burst out laughing and then quickly became quiet. If it weren't so sad, it would have been funny..

So Mother's Day it is for our little excursion to Ahern State Park for our morning walk...Maybe I can get the husband to take me for ice cream afterwards- my favorite.
 

missyrcrews

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Kellerhaus is open, Mary Ann. :) Sounds like just the spot to me!
 

Panina

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So sorry for everyone- moms who can't be with their kids- and sons and daughters who can't be with their moms. My mom is passed now since 2011. I never did get to the cemetery before we moved, but a friend of mine did while visiting her parents headstones and took a photo. Someone had put a palm cross at my parent's grave site- I think maybe a friend of my moms', so I felt a little better but sad it was not from me.

One thing I keep "talking" to my mom- both my parents actually- and "saying" "Can you believe this mom and dad? What is going on?" They must be rolling in their graves.

Funny our walking group was planning a different route in a state park and wants to do it on Mother's Day. Someone asked if anyone had any plans and we all looked at each other and burst out laughing and then quickly became quiet. If it weren't so sad, it would have been funny..

So Mother's Day it is for our little excursion to Ahern State Park for our morning walk...Maybe I can get the husband to take me for ice cream afterwards- my favorite.
Ice cream always makes things better. I need to buy ice cream.
 

Cornell

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Love & hugs to all of us. Though I hate reading the pain and sadness people are having on this topic it DOES remind me that I am not alone in my feelings.

My precious daughter was abandoned by her father due to his addictions. Father's Day has been a tough day for her every year, along with the dreaded "Daddy-Daughter dance" season around Val Day. I have given her the guidance from a young age to shut off social media and to do her best to put blinders on. We usually try to just plow through the day making a lot of inappropriate jokes.
 

JanT

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This will be my first Mother's Day to get through since my mom passed away this past December. My mom wasn't perfect and our relationship wasn't always a great one but we really grew close over the last 25 years. When we buried her ashes in her little hometown in March, I had just gone through the 1st Valentine's Day since her death. I had purchased a card for her even though she was gone from this life and I wrote a note in it telling her how much I loved and missed her. I put that in a box along with other treasured, purely sentimental items from her life and we buried them along with her ashes. I'm actually grateful my mom isn't alive with all of this craziness going on right now. She had Lewy Body Dementia and would never have been able to understand why I wasn't visiting her and she would have been very scared. So, on Sunday I'm going to focus my thoughts on being happy she's at peace in Heaven with my sister and the rest of her family. I'm pretty sure she'll be dancing across Heaven that day because she loved to dance.
 

klpca

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Wow. All of these years I thought that I was the only one who found the day difficult. My mom is a mom who tried hard, but she was beholden to a different master (her business) so between that and all of her failed relationships, it got in the way of us ever having a relationship. And yes, choosing the card is difficult - all of those reminders of what could have been. It is just a very sad day for some kids. I am so jealous of everyone that has a great relationship with their mom. I have tried but there are just things that always get in the way and I am working to accept that it's never going to change. I have tried to make the change within my little family.

Social media definitely makes things worse, so the advice that @AnnaS gave is spot on. When my kids were young adults and busy being young adults, I knew that I was getting the "obligatory call". It didn't feel sincere, which was so weird because we are all pretty close. Then I realized that to them, Mother's Day wasn't that meaningful - because we are close 365 days a year. When I started going on Facebook and seeing all of these people going all out on Mother's Day it made me feel bad, even though I never cared about that arbitrary day before. Once I stopped, my life went back to being my life, and the way we live (which is pretty laid back), went back to feeling right to me. This year I also took a complete social media break about a month before Christmas, and wow, it was awesome. So take your happiness back from social media. Spend that time doing something that actually makes you happy.

And, Father's Day, right around the corner, ugh. It's almost as tough although I gave up on my father a long, long time ago, so the emotion isn't there any more. But finding the card is always a challenge.
 
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lockewong

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Hugs and condolences, Panina. I share your sadness, for a different reason. I lost my mother in November. She had a long, good life, though; she was 98 when she passed. So I'll think of you and send you good thoughts on Mothers Day. Perhaps you could do the same for me.
I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose one's mother and all of us should be grateful for our mothers who did love and care for us.
 

lockewong

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I know I am not alone. With Mother’s Day approaching a sadness has engulfed me. This is the first Mothers Day I won’t be spending with my mom because of the virus.

I have always gone to NY to celebrate Mother’s Day and my birthday together. It is a yearly tradition. Sometimes it is a few days apart, this year the same day. Precious time taken from us. :(
Hope you do something special for yourself and try not to beat yourself up too much for what you cannot change. It sounds as if you have evolved from being in a difficult relationship with your mother to a sense of acceptance and understanding. Find some solace by looking forward to the future. Happy Birthday and please have some ice cream.
 

Luanne

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My mother passed away at age 98 last year in March. I had been fortunate enough to spend the last few Mother's Days with her and had planned to be with her last year as well. I am also blessed that my mother was living with my sister and brother-in-law and was at home when she passed. I treasure all of the wonderful memories I have of her.
 

Panina

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Mother's Day is always sad for me. I had the best mother one could have but she died tragically and there is not a day I don't think about her and if I could have changed the outcome. I miss her so much and wish I can hold her again.
What a gift to have had the best mother. We think we have control of changing outcomes but we really don’t. Often I thought could I have changed the outcome of a loved one I lost if I did something different? So I get how you feel.
 

amycurl

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@Panina, my birthday is on the 11th (yours is the 10th?) I will be able to eat with my mother, for which I am extremely grateful, but won't be able to hug her, which will be extremely tough.

*big virtual hugs to you*

#IwassupposedtobeatLagunamar
 
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