Wow. All of these years I thought that I was the only one who found the day difficult. My mom is a mom who tried hard, but she was beholden to a different master (her business) so between that and all of her failed relationships, it got in the way of us ever having a relationship. And yes, choosing the card is difficult - all of those reminders of what could have been. It is just a very sad day for some kids. I am so jealous of everyone that has a great relationship with their mom. I have tried but there are just things that always get in the way and I am working to accept that it's never going to change. I have tried to make the change within my little family.
Social media definitely makes things worse, so the advice that
@AnnaS gave is spot on. When my kids were young adults and busy being young adults, I knew that I was getting the "obligatory call". It didn't feel sincere, which was so weird because we are all pretty close. Then I realized that to them, Mother's Day wasn't that meaningful - because we are close 365 days a year. When I started going on Facebook and seeing all of these people going all out on Mother's Day it made me feel bad, even though I never cared about that arbitrary day before. Once I stopped, my life went back to being my life, and the way we live (which is pretty laid back), went back to feeling right to me. This year I also took a complete social media break about a month before Christmas, and wow, it was awesome. So take your happiness back from social media. Spend that time doing something that actually makes you happy.
And, Father's Day, right around the corner, ugh. It's almost as tough although I gave up on my father a long, long time ago, so the emotion isn't there any more. But finding the card is always a challenge.