lamenting the loss of "family vacation time"

[Twinkstarr]

The kids are all grown and gone (now 27, 29 and 31), and I can tell you now, if I had to do it all over again, I would force those high schoolers to go with us. I think they feel the same now, too. I would bet all of them would like to go back and do things over at times.

Perhaps I am a bit idealistic, even a little sentimental, but what is more important than family time? Our son was so in love with his high school sweetheart and couldn't stand being away from her for very long. We took her with us to Orlando one year. There were a few vacations, when he was in college, that he chose to stay home with her instead of going on vacation. Guess what? They broke up after dating four years. He would love to have those vacation memories, I know it.

We decided to take a trip to Hawaii as a family when our oldest graduated from the CO School of Mines. All of the kids wanted to go, initially. They were older, too, at 19, 21 and 23. Well, the middle child was such a little grouch because his sister took her (now husband) boyfriend, and our oldest took his girlfriend (another person gone from his life). Middle child kept calling himself the fifth wheel and whined a great deal the entire two weeks. I was sick of it by the end of the trip and told him he didn't ever have to go on a family vacation again, and I kept my promise. Sometimes he tags along anyway, without an invitation, and he is now 29. And you know what? The kids all talk about middle child's whining and laugh about it, and so does he!

We are going to Orlando with some of the kids this fall, and we are looking very forward to the trip. I exchanged us all into Disney's Boardwalk Villas, and we have our own units, which just makes things easier.

I guess I am trying to say that you will regret it if you let the kids skip vacations, and so will they.

I always went on family trips, all the way through college. My late parents were much more fun than any of my friends and a lot more adventurous travelling. Why would I want to sit home when I could be on cruises or doing a couple weeks in Europe? Did one trip with college friends , one can't swim or didn't like getting her hair wet, worried about sun exposure, picky eaters(got a deal on a cruise for Spring Break).

Your Middle child sounds like my younger sister(a major league whiner from way back). She still is, and the worst part of it is my 12yr old has her number and gives her a hard time about it.

 

[Icc5]

Over and Over we go

I'm 57 years old and still remember how great it was to make all stars each year and travel to tournaments. I only actually remember 2 vacations and one of the two was only about half a week. It was all my fault.
I love vacations especially with my kids but I also know things change. We just came back from a weeks vacation and my daughter and her daughter came for one day and one night to spend with us. My 18 year old will be going to Yellowstone with us next month because it was a trip of a lifetime he felt. The kids have been with us to Hawaii about 4 times, each has been on a number of cruises with us and we have done a few family reunions at timeshares. The family reunions are the best because we are all family oriented in our house.
I know some vacations will be with us and some just us so we take advantage of it either way. Hey, I save a fortune considering we have gone from Ca. to Fla. with the kids and friends (all paid for by us) and even then flying wasn't cheap.
Try working up a family reunion (we do it usually with 2 units), they are the best and the kids (at least mine) are always eager to go.
Bart

 

[Kevin]

It's funny how most do want to admit that family vacations are more important to mothers and fathers than they are to sons and daughters. That is a generalization, but most teeanagers and young adults would rather spend time with their peers. Not that unusual.

When kids get to be fathers and mothers... they'll begin to love timeshare vacations. At that time the problem will be... it will be your t/s they will want to use and they'll want you to come along as the babysitter!

When we go on vacation and our kid says he wants to stay with grandma... it may bother my wife but for me... let's just say I'm not beggin him to change his mind.

Enjoy the time with your signifigant others and adult friends and family. Kids always come around... when they are scared, hungry or broke. That's just the way it is at times.

 

[Kevin]

I'm 57 years old and still remember how great it was to make all stars each year and travel to tournaments. I only actually remember 2 vacations and one of the two was only about half a week

Ditto. And I bet you remember every at bat! I know I do. Even the ones that really did not turn out the way I say they did!

 

[Patri]

Kinda nice to hear you two say that. Those memories may not be valid to parents, but to the kids who experienced them, they are important and we shouldn't deny them.

 

[Charlie D.]

Pat and I are getting ready to go through the same thing with our grandkids. All teenagers and jobs and cars, whatever, are starting to affect their want lists. Two really nice family reunions last couple of years and they have all been there. I was reminiscing at work before I retired about the neat vacations my family had I used to go on. A co-worker told me: “you know, Charlie, you and Pat are making memories for your grandkids as they grow up.” Hit me like a ton of bricks. I hope when they are 60 they will think back fondly of some of the vacations we are doing right now. Pert near brings a tear to the eye.

 

[rickandcindy23]

I understand the baseball teams and the band practices (marching band was what all 3 of our kids loved), but there should always be a family vacation. After all, we are all timeshare owners here, and those units are made for families.

Seriously, I just know what my kids are saying today about missing those vacations. Our son was in New Jersey's, Bergen County Cadets (drum and bugle corps) his first few years of college, and we met him in DisneyWorld when he was competing in Orlando. He was stuck with the group the entire time. He traveled via a bus, slept on the floor of a high school gymnasium in a sleeping bag, and he ate food that was prepared for hundreds of people (which he said was okay but not great). We stayed at the Vistana and Vacation Village at Parkway resorts those two weeks, and his older brother and sister were with us. He was so jealous. We ate one meal with him at DisneyWorld, but the rest of the trip, he was practicing, practicing, practicing, and it is rather like the military because there is no such thing as "my time." I don't know whether he regrets that today, and I doubt he does because they came in 3rd that year in Madison, but he nearly quit the corps because he wanted that vacation. It broke my heart to have him so sad to see us there and not be able to be with us. I didn't affect his decision because that wasn't my place.

 

[Icc5]

Age changes outlook

It seems that everything always ends up back again. I remember at one point wanting to spend a lot more time with my parents and this only increased as both they and I got older. We didn't get much chance with my parents as my dad died fairly young. On the other side though my wife's parents got to spend several vacations staying at different timeshares with us and they even talked about buying a few. We talked them out of it because we had enough that they could always use ours. Instead, they would end up where we were (fine with us) but you could see the enjoyment they had staying.
Hopefully, we will always be able to tell the kids they can come anytime they want and leave that an open ended option. My only wish is that my Mom would want to travel more. She will only travel if my sister forces her to.
Bart

 

[Lisa P]

Like Sue (suesam), we make sure we'll be at our kids' favored places at least once a year. DD19 and one DS17 both like the beach, the other DS17 loves a particular resort near Gatlinburg. For these drive-to trips, we book at least a 2BR, so they can opt to come, even if at the last minute. So far, it's worked. When they bring friends, we don't see them a ton but a fun activity or restaurant at Dad's expense generally yields results. And they still enjoy family time at the pools/beach, with or without friends around.

Like Luanne, we're also starting to plan some 1BR short stays for just the 2 of us during the school year, beginning with this year. And looking forward to it!!!

Mind you attitudes of HS and college boys are not always pleasant on family vacations since they are pushing boundaries and can be quite moody causing stress. I do not have girls so no clue there.

Girls... with monthly hormone surges? Moody???? Never!!! :hysterical:

Seriously, I know what you mean, though, about the pushing boundaries and stress on vacation. On a 2-week California road trip in May, we sometimes squeezed together into smaller accommodations and sometimes had larger (a 2BR or a studio+1BR). It became crystal clear: With enough personal space in the evenings, we all enjoyed one another a great deal while sightseeing together. :whoopie: Without adequate personal space, at least one person was irritable at any given time and it affected everyone badly. A large 2BR (for all of us), a 3BR (w/friends) or 2 units are now the absolute minimum acceptable accommodations for us to travel as a family and enjoy it.

Our three are in college now. Like pcgirl54 did, we hope to get to Hawaii afterward and we hope our kids will avail themselves of our timeshares when they eventually marry. So glad we have them... both the kids and the timeshares, that is. LOL!

 

[sammy]

We are experiencing much the same. I posted a similar thread 4-6 months ago before booking our trip to Aruba. Our kids, 13 & 15, really had no interest but having really enjoyed Aruba the first time, somewhat quietly tagged along. I think it will be one of our last real family vacations.

Until they are a little older, I hope. I was chatting with a young couple in the Aruba Surf Lazy River who quickly responded to my comment about teens with 'theyll come around like we did'. They continued on to say that now in college, they appreciate the 'free' trips and the less controlled time together with Mom&Dad. They go on any and all trips where they are invited!

I hope they are right!

 

[senorak]

I'm glad that we own several timeshares....so that I can book several different vacations.....or book 2 units at one location. We did have the entire fqmily at our Orlando vacation in July.....and all but my oldest will be going to Hilton Head. (Of course, I'm hoping he changes his mind, but as of now, he is planning on working, his last week, taking care of our dogs, and spending time w/ his friends.) I'm in NYC right now w/the other 2 children.....so I am getting some "alone time" w/my kids (and without their friends along).

I know that the next few summers will require even more "creative vacationing"....as my daughter gets more involved w/ highschool sports, and my youngest moves up through the middle school. The offer to bring friends along on some vacations will continue.....as will taking trips w/ just one, two or none of the kids.

I just was feeling melancholy....as Hilton Head has always been our "family trip"....and this will be thefirst year that not everyone is going. Hopefully, Alex will join us on one (or more) vacations next year.

DEB