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Kids going to college?

suesam

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"Did I miss something? Who is paying for college, room, board, books? Maybe if he isn't nice, the gravy train will slow way down."

Absolutely! That is exactly what I keep telling him. What keeps saving him is he has been a really good kid except for the SA attitude. His teachers have always loved him so I guess he does know how to act in the real world. I hope. I am hoping this college experience will mature him and we can have great adult conversations. I guess that is why I am not so sure I am going to be devastated when he goes..... I have high hopes!

Sue
 

janapur

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"Did I miss something? Who is paying for college, room, board, books? Maybe if he isn't nice, the gravy train will slow way down."

Absolutely! That is exactly what I keep telling him. What keeps saving him is he has been a really good kid except for the SA attitude. His teachers have always loved him so I guess he does know how to act in the real world. I hope. I am hoping this college experience will mature him and we can have great adult conversations. I guess that is why I am not so sure I am going to be devastated when he goes..... I have high hopes!

Sue

Exactly! I once expressed to the mother of one of my son's friends how much we enjoy him and how grateful we are that they met in third grade. Her young man has always displayed the best manners, we have great conversations, and he pays such genuine attention to our other little kids. With the biggest look of surprise she asked "really?" Thankfully, she had similar high praises for our son.
 

Kittykatz

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college

We are leaving Friday for Hilton Head and then driving to Atlanta on Tuesday evening to drop my middle son off at college on Wednesday morning.. I'm crying everyday! I will miss him terribly and he'll be "So Far Away". Didn't feel like this when D went off, she's only 1 1/4 hours away and she needed to get away.. 2 down 1 to go... and now I have to get a tissue.

sad in NY
 

thinze3

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We are leaving Friday for Hilton Head and then driving to Atlanta on Tuesday evening to drop my middle son off at college on Wednesday morning.. I'm crying everyday! I will miss him terribly and he'll be "So Far Away". Didn't feel like this when D went off, she's only 1 1/4 hours away and she needed to get away.. 2 down 1 to go... and now I have to get a tissue.

sad in NY


:bawl: You are making me get sad just reading your post as mine leaves Friday as well. Good Luck.

Terry
 

sstamm

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DD is going on the 19th. We're totally ready to see her go! My friend has a theory that kids have to be particularly unbearable those last few months before they go, because that's nature's way of making you want to see the back of them! :p

My oldest DD is leaving for her freshman year next week. I am happy and sad to see her go. Now that her departure is imminent, she is closer to her old self, but May, June and July, I was wondering where my daughter had gone. I understand that it is a stressful time, but her attitude was a surprise to me. I have several friends with older daughters, and when I expressed my dismay to them, they just laughed and told me it was all part of the process, making it easier to let them go.

If nothing else, I felt better in knowing I was not alone!
 

pjrose

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. . . What keeps saving him is he has been a really good kid except for the SA attitude. His teachers have always loved him so I guess he does know how to act in the real world. I hope. I am hoping this college experience will mature him and we can have great adult conversations. I guess that is why I am not so sure I am going to be devastated when he goes..... I have high hopes!

Sue

Exactly! I once expressed to the mother of one of my son's friends how much we enjoy him and how grateful we are that they met in third grade. Her young man has always displayed the best manners, we have great conversations, and he pays such genuine attention to our other little kids. With the biggest look of surprise she asked "really?" Thankfully, she had similar high praises for our son.

This is my son too! Even back in pre-school when I said he drove us crazy, the teacher asked if we were speaking about the same child. His teachers adore him and have selected him for various leadership positions. Several said they were going to flunk him so they could keep him another year. Two teachers singled him out at end of year events to thank him for all his help and say they didn't know how they'd manage without him!

I did get a very different look at him last winter when I chaperoned a choir/orchestra trip to Disney. I saw a happy, talkative, sociable kid who always had other kids around him and was smilingly tolerant when girls took his picture with stuffed animals on his head and so forth. Completely different than he is at home!
 

stmartinfan

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You know, we have some friends who have a handicapped daughter the same age as our oldest. They will have her with them forever. I admire and respect them more than they'll ever know, but I wouldn't trade places.

This may be why we are not sad about our daughter's leaving for college - because she is able to and will be successful. Our younger daughter has mild autism and other learning disabilities and issues that mean she won't go to college or likely even live independently. We're not sure exactly what life will hold for her, but whatever is will be challenging for her and us.

It was especially hard for us to have to tell her while her sister was going through the college search that she wasn't going to be taking this path. (Her view of life doesn't allow her to comprehend that what she's learning in school is not what others of her age are doing.) Unfortunately, the media and educational system deliver the distorted view that college is the only thing to do after high school - a goal that's unrealistic for way too many kids. And the government cutbacks mean there are fewer programs to help kids like ours become productive members of society.

She doesn't need a handout - just some help beyond what we can give to fit into the workforce and try to live independently. We work with a social worker who puts it well - his goal is to help kids like our daughter be successful in the workforce, because he needs them working to help pay for his social security retirement! As he describes it, too many of them end up living in their parents' basement drawing SSN disability, despite their abilities, because there aren't the supports they need to put their skills to work.
 

Eli Mairs

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This thread brings back memories of when my daughters were going off to university.

Our older daughter - in 1999. I remember the day like it was yesterday - dropping her off at residence - and leaving her there. It was difficult and emotional for me, having been a very involved and overprotective mom.
The next year, younger daughter went off to another university. It wasn't as traumatic this time, but now the house was empty, except for our cats.

We adjusted well to being empy nesters.
However, several years later, after graduation, both daughters returned home, while seeking employment.
It was a difficult adjustment. The girls returned as adults, not children anymore, and we were four adults in the house - frequently butting heads.

Luckily, they both secured employment, and, with gentle encouragement from Dad and I, they bought condos, pre-construction, which gave them a focus, and something to save for. Three years later they both moved into their respective condos, daughter 1, being married by then, and all is well with both of them.

I guess the point of my rambling is, that this is a very special time for you and your children. Enjoy every moment, and even the challenges you will face when they are finished, and possibly return home, like mine did.
 

pjrose

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Beloit College's annual "mindset list"

Beloit College publishes an annual "mindset list" about those entering college each Fall. I don't see the 2012 list posted yet, but here's a link to the 2011 version.

http://www.beloit.edu/publicaffairs/mindset/2011.php

Incidentally, DH and are Beloit alums. We met the second week of our first semester and got married in the campus chapel a week after graduation!
 
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