Kids going to college?

[suesam]

My oldest son is going to college next week and I am just wondering how others in this situation are doing? So far I am absolutely fine! I am wondering when it is going to hit me. He will be 6 hours away so we will not see him for about 2 months. The thing is he does not talk to me now when he lives in my house so I am thinking we may actually communicate more by texting and e-mail than we do now! I hope.
He is a very laid back person so does not appear to be even slightly nervous, I suppose that helps me!
I feel kind of guilty that I do not feel sad (yet), but I am just so excited that he gets to start this awesome journey!

Sue

 

[senorak]

My oldest leaves the 20th......his college is about 2 hours away. My youngest is having a difficult time dealing with his departure.....he spends a lot of time w/ his brother (and his friends). Our house is usually filled w/ his friends, (most of them recently graduate seniors), so it will be a huge change once everyone is away at college. The youngest has been crying on and off the past month....usually at night, when his brother is not home, (either working, at a friend's, or we are away on vacation w/o the oldest)....and when I ask "what's the matter?", he tells me "I don't want Alex to leave". Just breaks my heart.

As for me....I have my "moments" of sadness....and I know I will cry the entire ride home once we drop him off. (Hoping to hold in the tears at the campus....I don't want Alex crying and feeling sad about going off to college.) He is planning on coming home over Labor Day weekend, (his roommate, a friend from high school, will have a car on campus). One of his best friends is quarterback of our high school team, and he would like to see him play in the "home opener". The college has also scheduled "parents weekend" early in Sept., (the 12th-14th), so we will head up for that.

I just can't believe how quickly the years flew by!

DEB

 

[lprstn]

Wow, you all are scaring me. My oldest is now 13yrs and going to HS. He has attended sleep away camp for the first time this summer (2 times already) and is currently at the "overnight orientation" at his new school. I haven't heard from him since he got dropped off and I am having a fit!

So I know I will do horribly when he moves on campus. He wants to live on campus and I want him to stay home. I told him the only way I will pay for him to live on campus is if in HS his gpa is a 3.5 or better, otherwise the 1st year is from home (we live within a 30 min drive of 5 great colleges).

It will probably be even worst for me with my girls...

 

[suesam]

Deb, how old is your younger son? My younger son, 15, can't stop grinning about his brother leaving! I think the key is that he gets the car his brother has been driving as well as his bedroom which is much preferred because it is in the basement and is cooler. The only thing he is worried about is that he will now be the focus of his parents! He is very worried about being the primary parental focus. :hysterical:

I will never forget when I took ds 18 to a week long camp when he was in 7th grade. I started to cry on the way up, I was driving.... he looked at me and said"would you try to keep it down, I am trying to read here" What a stinker!!!

Sue

 

[senorak]

My youngest is 11...and you would think with that age gap, (7 years), it wouldn't affect him so hard. However, the youngest is often included w/ the older boys (oldest son and his friends---mainly 17 & 18 year olds)---playing "backyard baseball", mini-golfing, playing videogames, swimming, etc. Not only is my youngest "losing" his big brother, (and "best friend"), but he is losing his "gang" of older friends, as well. And yes, the youngest does have his own set of friends, (his own age), which I keep reminding him.....but he only knows that his brother will be leaving and he is just so upset.

Deb

 

[Holly in South Jersey]

voice of experience

My middle DD, Manda, who is now 27, went to Embry Riddle in Daytona. My oldest had gone local, to Rutgers Camden. When we took Manda to Embry and left her, I cried for the first 50 miles! It took weeks before I could pass her bedroom door and not want to cry.
Every time she was home and left again I would cry. I finally stopped during her senior year. And now she's graduated and living in Houston, and we see her 4-5 times a year, and I must had adjusted, because I don't even have the urge to cry anymore.
It's a hard adjustment- your little kid is now on the way to being a grownup, and a new phase of life for all involved.
Hang in there!
Holly

 

[Luanne]

My oldest will be starting her third year at the local community college. She is still living at home and we're afraid she'll never move out. Younder dd will be a senior in high school this year. She's attending a boarding school on the opposite coast, and it's been like she's been away at college all this time. When she finally does start college I don't think it will be all that big of a transition for us since in effect she's been "gone" all this time.

 

[joestein]

I always thought College was when you could buy show tickets and make dinner reservations again!

 

[Luanne]

I always thought College was when you could buy show tickets and make dinner reservations again!

Oh heck we do that now with the older one still at home. :whoopie: We'll even go away for a week at a time and leave her home.

 

[Jestjoan]

We loved the empty nest but felt a bit guilty about it. In fact, our cabin is named "The Empty Nest."

http://www.google.com/search?q=empt...ox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7DKUS

 

[thinze3]

I have a DD leaving for college THIS WEEK!

My oldest DD is starting her fourth year in college. The day that we dropped her off at school was probably the saddest (save for family deaths) and proudest day that my DW and I have ever had. Just last nevening my family began to weep a bit, at just the thought of how quickly this weekend is approaching.

The good news is that my oldest DD is home and will go with us to drop off her younger sister. Just seeing the reward of how much my oldest has grown up and matured will also help us cope - knowing that there is a reward to the madness.

Good Luck to all of you.

Terry

PS - As I was typing, they texted me to let me know they are going to see a movie together. I think they are getting a little mushy.

 

[pjrose]

Oh heck we do that now with the older one still at home. :whoopie: We'll even go away for a week at a time and leave her home.

Wow - I wish I could trust my teenage daughter at home alone. My son, sure, but daughter? Unfortunately, too impulsive and too boy-crazy.

 

[pjrose]

My son is leaving next week

Hi Sue,

Kyle leaves for college next week. It won't be too much of a change for us, as he's spent the last three summers living and working out of state. Like yours, he doesn't talk to us much at home - the occasional phone calls and IMs from New York may even be more communication than we get at home.

He'll be home for one day in between New York and going to school. I told him that wasn't enough time to get organized and packed, but he thinks it's just fine, because he wants us to take care of it. Sigh.

I was worried about him making friends because he's so quiet, never goes out, always on the computer. He had met a sophomore boy when we went months ago for an interview. Then last month we went to a freshman open house and that boy was there and introduced him to a bunch of other kids. My son already had girls (plural) hanging on him - literally - as in propping their elbows on his shoulder while they were all talking and laughing.

So.....my daughter and I will do some shopping for supplies, dorm stuff, and so forth this weekend, and then I guess I'll be the one to pack it all up. Every time I ask him important questions like what color towels and what kind of lamp, he says he couldn't care less. Ahhh to be so relaxed and easy going....

One of my saddest/sweetest memories is of looking out of my dorm window and watching my parents walk away across the campus lawn, holding hands...I'm going to tear up now! I just found out that DH may not be able to take DS to college with me; that drive home alone will be hard.

But once he's gone, iit won't be much different for us. I think it'll be good for my daughter who feels kind of like the second fiddle.

 

[CSB]

My DD will be going to first yr of university on labour day. It is about 1 hr away. I am excited for her and wish it were me!!. I don't think that I will cry. Didn't cry when the kids started kindergarden which is strange because I cry so easily about other stuff. DD spends all her time with her friends now and so we hardly ever see her. It will not feel like she is gone because, as was mentioned earlier, we will probably hear more from her on skype, and msn than we do now.

We all feel that since the university is only 1 hr away, we will see her pretty often.

 

[wackymother]

DD is going on the 19th. We're totally ready to see her go! My friend has a theory that kids have to be particularly unbearable those last few months before they go, because that's nature's way of making you want to see the back of them!

 

[cathyv]

We had one graduate college this year, one in college and one a senior in high school. I must admit, it has gone pretty smoothly. We heard more from our daughter then our son. We try not to call them too often and wait for them to call us. I remember liking the freedom that came with going away to school and didn't want to "intrude" on their time at school.
I always try to remember that my job was to raise them to make good decisions, all the while, knowing that there would be a few questionable decisions along the way. Trust in the fact that you have raised capable kids and they will be fine.
We are now on the five year countdown to having them all out of college and (hopefully) working, paying taxes and becoming adults!

 

[vacationhopeful]

Going away to college is one of the most stressful "adventures" in the life of a teenager.

Be happy that your college bound teenager is being a royal PIA - it makes it harder for them to return to the your nest or to ask for money.

 

[stmartinfan]

My DD moves into her dorm Labor Day weekend too, to start her freshman year. But it's only about 30 minutes from our house, because she didn't want to go too far from home. Actually, she's very mature and ready to start college, so I think she'll do fine. We will miss her being here, but she and her younger sister fight frequently, so the more peaceful atmosphere will be nice. We will miss seeing her friends because our house was where all the girls had their parties and hung out. I expect we'll hear from her frequently, but she's eager to make more friends at college. She has said she'll need to come home to see her dog, worried that he'll be too sad without her constant attention!

 

[MelBay]

My oldest is a Super Senior (5th and better be last year). I got weapy a couple days before he left, and couldn't even tell him goodbye when we moved him in the frat house. I ran out bawling, bawled all 4 hours home, and then for another 6 weeks. I sat on his bed and wailed. I sat in his car and blubbered. I truly thought I'd never get over it. He barely spoke to us all 4 years of high school, but really turned around after he left. Calls & visits home were completely different and he became human again. As we got closer I got less sad. The 1st Christmas break was rough. All his friends cam to our house too, and I was actually ready for him to go back way before break ended. I learned to enjoy just having the little brother at home and my sadness turned to contentment in the fact that I'd raised someone smart enough to go to college and that we could also help pay for msot of it. When the little brother went away last fall I wasn't nearly as sad because I knew that if the older one could live without us the little one could too.

We enjoy having a clean house, less laundry, the freedom to come & go pretty much as we please, and getting reacquainted. We also enjoy breaks and weekend visits from them, but are always ready for everyone to be back in their respective places.

You know, we have some friends who have a handicapped daughter the same age as our oldest. They will have her with them forever. I admire and respect them more than they'll ever know, but I wouldn't trade places. You have them to raise them to be good citizens of the world and set them off on their own to make their way and hopefully a difference. This is how it's supposed to work. It wasn't easy at first, but give it some time. It will grow on you, I promise.

 

[jlr10]

Be happy that your college bound teenager is being a royal PIA - it makes it harder for them to return to the your nest or to ask for money.

:rofl: I was talking to one of my son's friend's father about them being PIAs right now. His answer "It is God's way to prepare us for an empty nest. We want them to leave." We love our son. We will miss him. But I think we are all ready for him to begin this next chapter. He thinks he is ready and we think he almost is ready.

Our son is on quarters so he doesn't report for freshman welcome week until September 20th. I didn't cry at high school graduation, but found myself tearing up at college orientation. Not so much from sadness, but from pride. He overcame the ADHD part to get himself to college, with minor nudging from mom. He chose his friends wisely and, we think, picked a good college, and a good major. If he continues to apply himself his future is so bright he will have to wear I might wear them too. Because no matter what I say I think still think there will be tears as we drive away.

But the nice part is he 'agreed' to go on a final family vacation before he leaves. We will travel up to see grandma and grandma's twin and enjoy our last week with him before he steps out into the world. Now if we could just get him to agree he needs to start putting together his things that he has and prepare a list of things he will need we will be all set. Not quite all mature yet...

 

[janapur]

My oldest leaves next week for his second year. He's a residential hall advisor so he has to move in early.

He is planning to transfer after first semester to a school that offers a better program in his major. So my big concern is that this will change his spring break week . . . and I didn't purchase RCI cancellation insurance! I've already been searching for the break of his new school. Doesn't he know that great exchanges are hard to find for spring break at this late notice??

Oh, I'm kidding of course. However, other than Christmas, it's our only quality time other than texting. Thank goodness he's helped me master that!

Jana

 

[Rose Pink]

My baby graduated from college last spring. This is the first time in 5 years that I'm not packing her up to move her to college. It feels kinda strange not to be repeating the usual fall routine. I remember the first year that I dropped her off. I was fine until it was time for me to get in the car and drive home alone. Then I shed a tear or two.

As for the kids growing older and moving away--the upside is that you get grandchildren. I'm flying to Florida this Friday to meet my first!

 

[suesam]

It is so nice to see others have children who are a PIA! Truthfully my son stopped speaking to us when he was about 12. He blossomed early! I really hope by going to college he does begin to see us differently and we can enjoy eachother again! I told him today that I really am hoping to hear from him regularly to let us know how he is doing. He told me it depended on how NICE I was to him during the week before he leaves. He is not only a PIA but a major SA.
This should be interesting.

Sue

 

[Rose Pink]

...He told me it depended on how NICE I was to him during the week before he leaves. He is not only a PIA but a major SA.


Sue

Did I miss something? Who is paying for college, room, board, books? Maybe if he isn't nice, the gravy train will slow way down.

 

[Fletcher921]

My youngest is leaving on Thursday this week for his junior year in college - 10 hours away. It us hard each and every time he leaves. I have discovered that I enjoy him more and more every time he comes home - not so much as a kid but as a true friend. He is a magnificent person.