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Join me in my Journey - My Next Chapter

Glynda

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... I am a bit unusual but I have never understood the draw to Florida. I lived there as a child and as an adult.
I was born and raised in Florida. My parents also native Floridians for generations. It was a great place to grow up in back in the day but I’ve never wanted to move back. EVER!
 

VacationForever

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I’m, of course, a woman but I too can relate to what you said about your house in Minnesota and the attachment to it. I wanted to move and I know it was the right thing to do, but I am constantly thinking about our former house and I remember every single nook and cranny of that house and always will. I still look at our photos of it and find myself constantly comparing our new house to it. ( no comparison - old house was so much better).

To me a house is a home. It’s part of my skin- at the very least my shell. It takes a long time to grow a new one but I never really shed my old one and probably never will.
I think every home we move out of we leave a piece of us behind. I have loved the 2 homes which I have owned in California. If the choice is up to me, I would have stayed in the first home. I gave that home up because my now husband hated the home. We moved into a lovely home but again, he wanted to leave California and we sold that home. Even though I love my current home, I often think about the other 2 homes and miss many aspects of them.
 

Talent312

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I was born and raised in Florida. My parents also native Floridians for generations. It was a great place to grow up in back in the day but I’ve never wanted to move back. EVER!
I was born and raised in Miami. I'm still in Florida... N. Florida, where we have seasons and hills.
As for those who don't want to live here, you're welcome to not to. As Jimmy Buffett said:

Most of the people who retire in Florida
Are wrinkled and they lean on a crutch
And mobile homes are smotherin' my Keys
I hate those bastards so much
I wish a summer squall would blow them all
The way up to fantasy land
Yeah they're ugly and square, they don't belong here
They looked a lot better as beer cans.
-- Migration (1974)

... Panina excepted ...
 

Fredflintstone

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Although I have never been to FL, I did have plans to try out Marco Island. It was booked and then...you know.

What I really want to see is the Cuban flavour in Miami. I love culture and the diversity of people. One learns so much. I suppose that’s why I love to travel in the first place.

@Panina, you have much to be blessed with. Through your hard work, you carved out a wonderful retirement for yourself. You have good health. You are a nice person. You have plenty yet to give and share in your life. Who knows? You may find your life partner yet when you absolutely least expect it. If not, you have some family, I am sure wonderful friends and you will be a welcome addition to whatever community you decide to end up in.

Chin up...it’s all going to work out fine in the end.

My dad once said, “God never gives you anything you can’t handle.” I really do believe that. Maybe, just maybe, god has better, richer things in store for you that will make your new chapter the best ever!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

Glynda

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I was born and raised in Miami. I'm still in Florida... N. Florida, where we have seasons and hills.
As for those who don't want to live here, you're welcome to not to. As Jimmy Buffett said:

Most of the people who retire in Florida
Are wrinkled and they lean on a crutch
And mobile homes are smotherin' my Keys
I hate those bastards so much
I wish a summer squall would blow them all
The way up to fantasy land
Yeah they're ugly and square, they don't belong here
They looked a lot better as beer cans.
-- Migration (1974)

... Panina excepted ...
I would suspect that one of the reasons you moved to N Florida was that it had yet to experience the woes of Buffet’s song as well as for more seasonal weather and its topography. To each his own. I prefer to remember it as it once was than experience it as it is now.
 

Panina

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If I hear one more time “you should do this”, “You aren’t listening to me, I am telling you this for your own good”....Ugh. Seems everyone has their opinions in what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. I am not asking for opinions, they are just given. I don’t want to argue thus I will need to stop talking as much to family.

Meanwhile good progress the last few days. Separated out all our papers that are filed, Ordered packing boxes-never too soon to start, started sorting out things I will donate as I want to move lighter but most importantly got all my timeshare papers organized and on a spreadsheet. He wants to see it on a spreadsheet before we discuss who gets what and what we give away. Hopefully I can get him to sit down this weekend and we can agree. I am hoping at the least we can both decide what we both don’t want/need so I can list them.
 

Sugarcubesea

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If I hear one more time “you should do this”, “You aren’t listening to me, I am telling you this for your own good”....Ugh. Seems everyone has their opinions in what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. I am not asking for opinions, they are just given. I don’t want to argue thus I will need to stop talking as much to family.

Meanwhile good progress the last few days. Separated out all our papers that are filed, Ordered packing boxes-never too soon to start, started sorting out things I will donate as I want to move lighter but most importantly got all my timeshare papers organized and on a spreadsheet. He wants to see it on a spreadsheet before we discuss who gets what and what we give away. Hopefully I can get him to sit down this weekend and we can agree. I am hoping at the least we can both decide what we both don’t want/need so I can list them.
I’m so sorry, family is trying to tell you what they want you to do vs supporting you in your decision. I’ve learned family does not always know best.

I’m so happy that you are starting the packing process. Every time I look to see what I want to keep vs toss or donate, I swear it multiples. I hope you get to keep the TS’s that brings you the most joy. Don’t let your family or friends try to tell you what they would do, only you know what’s best for you. I so admire your ability to take the high road thru this division of property and divorce.
 

geekette

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...If I hear one more time “you should do this”, “You aren’t listening to me, I am telling you this for your own good”....Ugh. Seems everyone has their opinions in what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. I am not asking for opinions, they are just given. I don’t want to argue thus I will need to stop talking as much to family.

Yes, avoid people that think you are a foolish little girl. There are reasons that I am a private person. My sister doesn't seem to string together a sentence without it starting out "you should..." She still refers to me as her "baby sister". For me, it's easier to just avoid contact vs endure more disrespect. I was still a teen when I determined that what they don't know is usually none of their business.

The bottom line is that nobody but YOU knows what is in your best interest, and nobody but YOU will contend with the consequences. Don't clutter your mental or emotional space with unhelpful pressure from others. You have soooo got this, I don't see that you need to waste any time reassuring others. Not your job.

It's good that you are strong enough to withstand crap from others. Not everyone is, and that very often includes the very people leaning on you, as they apparently would not be making the same choices that you are. They can worry all they want, but you don't need to hear it, and you don't need to do anything about it. It always amazes me that the most supportive people are 'friends from the internet' and total strangers.

You are making fast progress, on all the right things. Once you start moving the big rocks, the little ones fall into place.
 

DaveNV

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I was born and raised in Miami. I'm still in Florida... N. Florida, where we have seasons and hills.
As for those who don't want to live here, you're welcome to not to. As Jimmy Buffett said:

Most of the people who retire in Florida
Are wrinkled and they lean on a crutch
And mobile homes are smotherin' my Keys
I hate those bastards so much
I wish a summer squall would blow them all
The way up to fantasy land
Yeah they're ugly and square, they don't belong here
They looked a lot better as beer cans.
-- Migration (1974)

... Panina excepted ...
Pretty strong words from a guy born and raised in Mississippi, who himself is a Florida transplant. "My Keys?" Hypocrite much, Mr. Buffet? Instead of blaming those who have moved in, maybe blame the developers who built those mobile home parks, and enticed retirees to move there. Blame the City Councils who approved the development of all those mobile home parks, rather than the retirees who just want a place in the sun.

I lived in Washington state's incredible San Juan Islands for nine years, where nature and scenic beauty is beyond description. There were so many stories of people who would move in from out of state, buy a parcel of land, cut down all the trees, fence the property, and build a McMansion. Then they'd complain that the deer were eating their flowers, that it rained all the time, that they couldn't get the immediate services like they had back home. They'd whine that "things here are changing, and it doesn't feel like it used to." They wanted to stop any further development, but only after they'd gotten their projects done. These were the same people who would demand ATM machines and fast food restaurants and 24-hour grocery stores. Yes, it was changing, and it was their own fault. Instead of integrating into life as it was, they wanted life to change to their version of what it should be. A self-fulfilling problem.

If someone wants to retire in Florida, I say go for it. It's a great place, for those who want to live there. It's not for everyone, and that's probably a good thing. If everyone lived there, the country would start to dip into the ocean on that corner of the continent. :D

Dave
 

pianodinosaur

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It's MI that I'm looking for a new house.

I don't know if I told everyone my story, but I worked for an automotive company in Detroit for over 20 years, I had a pension and because of this the company did not offer a 401K plan... Fast forward to 2007 - the Great Recession. This Great Recession hit the automotive sector very hard during this time. My company went bankrupt and because the company was more concerned with lining the pockets of the CEO and executive team our pension in bankruptcy was turned over to the PBGC. Once the PBGC got it they notified us that it was severely underfunded to the point that the most we would get would be 10% of our original amount. Now fast forward to about 3 years ago and since I was the youngest in the bunch and since most of my former colleagues are long since retired and collecting their 10% of their pension, I was notified that when I turn 65 (the year that I automatically begin to receive the pension funds) I should plan on only about 5% of my original amount. So since now I will only be getting about $110 a month in pension my accountant told me I needed to take drastic action.

I'm selling our family home that we have livin in for over 20 years and downsizing to a small condo or small home that I can pay cash for with the proceeds of our family home. This will allow me to save intensely for the next 6 to 7 years and will allow me to sell this small place and move to FL upon retirement.

Every home in the last month in my present subdivision has sold 2 to 4 days after listing for asking price or above. So I'm purchasing in advance of selling my home with taking out a mortgage and then paying it off once my house sells..
The ENRON scandal (2001) destroyed the pensions many people here in the Houston area. The perpetrators of the disaster were held criminally liable. Jeffrey Skilling died shortly into his sentence. Andrew Fastow went to prison. However, this did not help the many people who lost so much. The Sarbanes-Oxley Act (2002) was suppose to prevent CEOs from getting away with what happened to you. Did the corporate executives at your place of employment get their golden parachutes? Madoff went to prison after his Ponzi scheme collapsed in 2007. He too left numerous pensioners in a state of financial devastation. There will always be wicked people to bring suffering upon the innocent. Many blessings upon you.
 

Ralph Sir Edward

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Yes, but only for the unemployed. Plenty of remote working continues, and retirees are not unemployed, they are retired. I think many people just changed their own status and will not go back, figuring it is close enough to retirement age...
That's me. I was 4 to 10 months ahead of my target retirement date. . . Not going back. (Unless a really good deal came along.)
 

pedro47

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DaveNV, your post sounds like me some months ago. I moved to a rural area to escape city life, four lane highways, traffic, street lights, sidewalks, crime and Seven-Eleven on every corner.

We had open land space, trees, nature, wetlands and the scenic beauty in our backyard was awesome. After about 20 years some developers discovery our untouch world of the state. It took another 6 years get everything started and now development in North Suffolk, VA is a City of its on. We now have two (2) hospitals, banks, a Walmart, Kohols, a shopping center, two golf courses, private & public schools, restaurants, supermarkets, traffic, traffic lights, a fire and a police stations, physician offices. You name it and we have it. Now.

Sorry for my comments; we do not have a Publix, a Trader Joe's or a Fresh Market store.

We do have two (2) ABC's state liquor stores in North Suffolk .

Is it still a very nice area to retire. Yes! it is.. Just ask the heavy retired military & government population in HarbourView in North Suffolk. LOL.
 
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lockewong

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I never thought I would be here now, starting a new beginning at 60. Seems unreal as my age does too. I look and feel younger but the reality is I am still starting over at 60.

I know this new journey is necessary. I always hope the best is yet to come and with the unknown ahead I realize all my emotions are ok and I just need to venture, feel and emerge happier and better off.

I was married to my husband almost 25 years when he suddenly passed in front of me from a brain aneurysm. I was 48. The loss was tremendous. This now can’t come close to the pain I felt. I was fortunate to have the love I did. Some never find it.

I knew my current relationship was a mistake a few years in but I loved my step daughter so much and felt if I left she had no chance. I always said I was in her fathers life not for her father but for her. No regrets she was worth all I gave and lost.

So now I am in a holding pattern with this pandemic. It will take time to move on. It needs to be safe.

I am splitting with my other half amicably. It definitely could be bitter but I feel there is nothing gained fighting it out. He is finally on board with doing it friendly. He really doesn’t have a choice. I think he was shocked how much I ultimately mean to his daughter. In his mind he thought she would be happy I was out of her life. He never understood the beautiful dynamics me and his daughter have.

So originally he was supposed to find a new home and move out. That isn’t going to happen. He told me if I don’t want the house he wants it and will stay. This from a man who fought me every step of the way moving always saying he hates the house and neighborhood. Now he loves it. Seems he needs to be right more then be happy.

As many of you know I love where I live. I put lots of effort to find the “perfect” 55+ community and home. It has been fixed up to my liking. Tempted to stay or even find a smaller home in the community. I had to do lots of sole searching, do I stay or do I go?

I ultimately decided best for me to start fresh not close to him. Near him and he will always want favors, help with his car, his papers,his appointments, etc., just his personality. He will expect them as we are “friends” but I know if I need something he will always be too busy. Saying no just will cause friction that will ultimately affect my step daughter. Not near, almost certain I will only hear from him if it concerns his daughter.

I have decided to go go to Florida in a 55+ community in Palm Beach County, so the search begins, lots of communities to choose from. Easy transportation to NY, GA, SC, NC where I travel often, good medical, easy to get to Florida’s west coast to my loved timeshares and Disney as well, lots of shopping, lots of singles, lots to do, price point in homes I can afford as well as friends and family not far. The negative hurricanes, very hot in the summer and the area I chose is a bit congested. With my studio coop in NYC I will have another place to go when necessary.

On a side note, amazes me how many people I know have tried to talk me out of moving on. They believe me staying in a very bad relationship is better. I take a deep breathe and realize they are afraid for me, maybe their inner fears for themselves. I just wish they could understand they should be afraid if I stood and support me with what is ahead.

So my tugger friends I invite you to share my journey, new adventures, the good and bad with me. If it is anything like my last journey it will be a interesting ride with uncertainty, anticipation, happiness, sadness, laughter, shock, etc. with unbelievable stories that you just can’t make up.
Been a busy week. Just logged on. I am right with you on this journey. Wish I could be closer to help. Nora
 

Beachclubmum

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The development stories reminds me of a local story.

Years and years ago a local doctor bought a bunch of land away from the city out in the middle of nowhere. He bought it because he liked to shoot guns at targets. No neighbors, no problem. Then development came, and a big expensive housing tract was put up next to the edge of his land, and so many people came with the development that they also added schools. Next thing you know the people in the development are suing because of the shotgun noises. The doctor was mad because he was there first. At the end of the day he won the lawsuit. The only concession he did end up making was not to shoot during school hours because every time he did it would cause the school to go on lockdown. Lol.
 

DaveNV

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DaveNV, your post sounds like me some months ago. I moved to a rural area to escape city life, four lane highways, traffic, street lights, sidewalks, crime and Seven-Eleven on every corner.

We had open land space, trees, nature, wetlands and the scenic beauty in our backyard was awesome. After about 20 years some developers discovery our untouch world of the state. It took another 6 years get everything started and now development in North Suffolk, VA is a City of its on. We now have two (2) hospitals, banks, a Walmart, Kohols, a shopping center, two golf courses, private & public schools, restaurants, supermarkets, traffic, traffic lights, a fire and a police stations, physician offices. You name it and we have it. Now.

Sorry for my comments; we do not have a Publix, a Trader Joe's or a Fresh Market store.

We do have two (2) ABC's state liquor stores in North Suffolk .

Is it still a very nice area to retire. Yes! it is.. Just ask the heavy retired military & government population in HarbourView in North Suffolk. LOL.

I was stationed in Norfolk for three years of my Navy time, and I know the Suffolk area. I always liked the quiet rural-ness of the place. It's not really a surprise to hear of the development. But the entire greater Tidewater area has also gone through tremendous growth over the years. Last time I was there visiting old friends, it amazed me how much even Virginia Beach has grown - I thought it was as big as it was going to get, but I was wrong. Even quiet little Chesapeake has become a busy area. What can you do? People need to live someplace, right? :)

Dave
 
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WinniWoman

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I’m so sorry, family is trying to tell you what they want you to do vs supporting you in your decision. I’ve learned family does not always know best.

I’m so happy that you are starting the packing process. Every time I look to see what I want to keep vs toss or donate, I swear it multiples. I hope you get to keep the TS’s that brings you the most joy. Don’t let your family or friends try to tell you what they would do, only you know what’s best for you. I so admire your ability to take the high road thru this division of property and divorce.
So agree with this. Best to avoid talking with the family.

And beginning the packing process is the key to moving forward towards the new life.
 

DaveNV

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The development stories reminds me of a local story.

Years and years ago a local doctor bought a bunch of land away from the city out in the middle of nowhere. He bought it because he liked to shoot guns at targets. No neighbors, no problem. Then development came, and a big expensive housing tract was put up next to the edge of his land, and so many people came with the development that they also added schools. Next thing you know the people in the development are suing because of the shotgun noises. The doctor was mad because he was there first. At the end of the day he won the lawsuit. The only concession he did end up making was not to shoot during school hours because every time he did it would cause the school to go on lockdown. Lol.
Yep. Sounds familiar. Good for your doctor. In Washington state, on Whidbey Island, the Navy has had a Naval Air Station for decades. It is a major air base in the Pacific Northwest. Squadrons of jets stationed there are deployed on aircraft carriers to various places around the world, and it is a very important part of the Navy's program. When not deployed, the pilots in those squadrons need to keep up their training skills, so they do lots of flights around the area, doing touch-and-go landings at the base's airstrips, and generally doing what military pilots are supposed to do. It's been that way for as long as I've been aware of the place, which is about fifty years.

In recent years there has been a lot of development around Whidbey Island, as people want to live in the rural area. Land is cheaper than on the mainland areas of Puget Sound, and a lot of people who commute by ferry to Seattle want to live on the island. Many homesites are on the long beaches and rocky coastline of the island. A lot of interior farmland has been converted to housing developments, and the demand for housing has increased, with no end in sight. Lately, there has been a lot of complaints being made in council meetings and public forums by these new residents that the Navy jets are too loud, and how it's bothering them. They want the Navy to stop flying around the area, and for things to get quiet.

Sorry, but you can't move next door to a busy airport, and then complain about the noise the aircraft make. But these people are making all sorts of noise about it. I don't understand the logic. But after living in Hawaii and the San Juan islands, maybe I should. :D

Dave
 

Sugarcubesea

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The ENRON scandal (2001) destroyed the pensions many people here in the Houston area. The perpetrators of the disaster were held criminally liable. Jeffrey Skilling died shortly into his sentence. Andrew Fastow went to prison. However, this did not help the many people who lost so much. The Sarbanes-Oxley Act (2002) was suppose to prevent CEOs from getting away with what happened to you. Did the corporate executives at your place of employment get their golden parachutes? Madoff went to prison after his Ponzi scheme collapsed in 2007. He too left numerous pensioners in a state of financial devastation. There will always be wicked people to bring suffering upon the innocent. Many blessings upon you.
Yes, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act was suppose to fix these issues but unfortunately as everthing in life there was enough loopholes in that law that my previous company was able to consistently underfund the pension year after year. Quite honestly because I was in finance, and the govt was cracking down on these companies because the PBGC could not handle all of the defunct pensions, suddenly we went into bankruptcy. We had enough cash in reserve to keep us going thru the next 8 months and our biggest customer told us they would loan us money because we were the only supplier that made one of their parts for their top selling vehicle. All 7 of the top executives of my previous company had golden parachutes and the CEO who with his wild spending helped to put us into bankruptcy received a 10 million bonus for getting us out...This same CEO about 4 years after I left the company and he himself had been fired from the previous company, he became CEO of another company and had one of his henchmen call me for an opportunity at his new company. When I said not to that offer, he called me himself. Let's just say that he will never be calling me again as I laid into him.
 

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I'm not sure I would blame the residents moving to rural areas for all the ... "neon progress" ... Developers follow roads built, and build along them. Then the retailers smell it and get their brand there first.

Once there are more than a few cars along a road, someone notices and senses opportunitie$.

I don't think those that move farther out then contact companies and ask them to locate nearby. But I could certainly see large development companies getting those deals in place prior to breaking ground on homes for future customers of their customers.

What I can control is my own wallet. I don't support businesses that for whatever reason, I don't like.

My friend has 30+ acres and a neighbor with an adjoining plot of 5 acres wants to sell at very high price, dividing into 2 lots and plopping mobile homes on them. I "did some Zillowing" and think he's out of his mind on price, so, hopefully, will wait him out and absorb a cleared 5 that would make my farming exploits much easier. It's also possible that he floated a dream price hoping that she was Ms Moneybags and would do anything to have those 5. Sometimes people think women are stupid with money. I'm not sure that's his deal but she had mentioned previously that he had a really big ego.

If anything other than home tradespeople, ag or residential buyer showed up, that'd be a problem for me. Like most anyone else, if I move away from lights and sounds, I don't want them to follow me. But, I cannot stop "progress" until such time as I can buy up all the land that I don't want developed.

I went through that here, actually. The lady that owns the woods behind me died and her son wanted to part it out. There would have been a street and houses between me and the horse farm that's on the other side of the slender strip of woods. I have very active neighbors, they got zoning changed to require 3 ac min homesite, which made it impossible for him to build the road. They were at it again when someone wanted to build a school on the corner heading into our neighborhood. Kids don't live back here, it's been over a decade since there was a school bus. My gut is don't build a school that no one can walk to, in addition to the natural "not in my back yard!" So a neighbor quickly bought the land and put up an organic farm and llama yard.

Potentially, a Jimmy Buffet wallet could buy each mobile home as it is vacated and remove it and make the land what he likes. heck, beautiful gardens with eclectic tiny homes hidden in the back of the lot. what'ev.

Panina said the yard was very important to her, so I am imaging various tropical paradises and outdoor comfy living. and, yeah, a home in there, too... equally comfortable and suitable for our dear Panina in navigating her new chapter.
 

pedro47

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DaveNV, we have been spoil for the first thirty (30) years in North Suffolk. The big surprise when interstate 664 was open and Route 17 became a four (4) lane highway. Progress is good and people must live somewhere. LOL.:hi::hi::hi::thumbup::wave:
 

dayooper

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In a neighboring small town, there’s a long standing dairy farm. Huge in the community, employs many residents and, quite frankly has the best ice cream I have ever had. Very well loved and respected.

Long story short, as suburban crawl moved up I-75 away from the high prices of suburban metro Detroit, many people started building there. Those that owned property that bordered the farm sold to individuals who were looking for acreage to build their high priced homes. Many finished in fall and moved in during the winter. When spring hit, the smell was rather strong. They complained to the township board of trustees demanding they do something about it. Some even wanted to have the farm closed! They were laughed out of the meeting.
 

bbodb1

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In a neighboring small town, there’s a long standing dairy farm. Huge in the community, employs many residents and, quite frankly has the best ice cream I have ever had. Very well loved and respected.

Long story short, as suburban crawl moved up I-75 away from the high prices of suburban metro Detroit, many people started building there. Those that owned property that bordered the farm sold to individuals who were looking for acreage to build their high priced homes. Many finished in fall and moved in during the winter. When spring hit, the smell was rather strong. They complained to the township board of trustees demanding they do something about it. Some even wanted to have the farm closed! They were laughed out of the meeting.
As it should be.
 

geekette

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In a neighboring small town, there’s a long standing dairy farm. Huge in the community, employs many residents and, quite frankly has the best ice cream I have ever had. Very well loved and respected.

Long story short, as suburban crawl moved up I-75 away from the high prices of suburban metro Detroit, many people started building there. Those that owned property that bordered the farm sold to individuals who were looking for acreage to build their high priced homes. Many finished in fall and moved in during the winter. When spring hit, the smell was rather strong. They complained to the township board of trustees demanding they do something about it. Some even wanted to have the farm closed! They were laughed out of the meeting.
That's just embarrassing!

I live in old farmland, dairy 4 doors down. It had just started out when I got here, it is a massive business now. I'm more annoyed by the littering traffic they have brought than any random smell or cows in my driveway or chickens in the road.

Sure, sometimes there are aromas. There is an amazing innovation I have discovered - the window. It seems that when it is closed, no extra smells come in!

Actually, I don't have a problem with the periodic ... scents of fertilizer. I understand pig farms can be tremendously smelly but I have no problem with the cows and chickens and goats. The baby goats are so darned cute, I'd hold my nose and watch them frolic if they were... overly aromatic...
 
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