[ 2020 ] Join me in my Journey - My Next Chapter

[bogey21]

After my second divorce at age 65 (I was married 10 years with Number One and 20 with Number Two) I made the conscious decision to avoid future relationships. This decision has served me well...

George

 

[rickandcindy23]

I would bet you will meet someone great quite accidentally. There have to be eligible men right in the neighborhood. Are there single meet-ups in your neighborhood?

Our son tried one of those speed dating deals, where you pay an organization and they get a restaurant for an afternoon, you go from table to table, it's timed, and he said it was obvious to him that this could work, but it didn't for him.

He was guarded in what he would divulge, and I told him that was not the intention of the timed meetings. He should be as open as he can be. He thought the women were way too forthcoming. Some would blurt out things that made him count the minutes before the timer went off. The point was to find an attraction first, not hear their entire life stories.

Finally, our son was driving his car up the Pacific Coast Highway and stopped to pick up his friends, one of which broke up with this young woman that Josh always stayed friends with. She and our son hit it off, married 4.5 years ago, and now we have a granddaughter that is 3 1/2, he has a thriving business, and they moved into a nice home in Parker, unfortunately that granddaughter is nearly an hour's drive from us. Life is good for the three of them.

The point of the story is that all of the contrived meetings, all of the friends who were trying to "fix him up" with someone "great," and then right under his nose, there is the person he was meant to be with all along.

 

[Panina]

I want to add that going through a lot of life changes close together is extremely stressful no matter how strong you are. You moved last year and then the marriage issues. You have your mom back in NY and everything that entails. Now you have moved again. Give yourself breathing room. I know you are 60 but take a while to let things settle before you try to rush into another relationship or even to date.

The quiet is meditation that will eventually lead to more revelations.

I feel you love. It is amazing the relief I have now, and the minimal stress except for mom.

There is no rush into another relationship or even to date but exploring just lets me have more revelations. I have been through so much worse when my husband passed. The reality is life must go on.

My relationship with my ex was platonic for a long time and was much more complex then I have told thus any exploring for friendships and dating is not a rebound.

Many people rebound because they cannot be on their own. They connect
their worth to being with someone. I am fine being on my own and now I have learned someone has to be worthy of being with me as self centered as that sounds.

I have also been in therapy with my long time therapist that was with me throughout my issues with my ex thus I have great guidance.

I am not a poor me, look what happened to me person. It happened, nothing I can do and I move on. I don’t believe complete solitude with long length revelations is healthy. Exploring, feeling, moving on with clear parameters of what is acceptable is different for each if us as we go through transitions in life.

 

[Panina]

I would bet you will meet someone great quite accidentally. There have to be eligible men right in the neighborhood. Are there single meet-ups in your neighborhood?

Our son tried one of those speed dating deals, where you pay an organization and they get a restaurant for an afternoon, you go from table to table, it's timed, and he said it was obvious to him that this could work, but it didn't for him.

He was guarded in what he would divulge, and I told him that was not the intention of the timed meetings. He should be as open as he can be. He thought the women were way too forthcoming. Some would blurt out things that made him count the minutes before the timer went off. The point was to find an attraction first, not hear their entire life stories.

Finally, our son was driving his car up the Pacific Coast Highway and stopped to pick up his friends, one of which broke up with this young woman that Josh always stayed friends with. She and our son hit it off, married 4.5 years ago, and now we have a granddaughter that is 3 1/2, he has a thriving business, and they moved into a nice home in Parker, unfortunately that granddaughter is nearly an hour's drive from us. Life is good for the three of them.

The point of the story is that all of the contrived meetings, all of the friends who were trying to "fix him up" with someone "great," and then right under his nose, there is the person he was meant to be with all along.

In person meetups are the best. Nothing to go to because of the pandemic.

I did meet in ex in that 8 minute dating sit and talk scenario, my prior on eharmony and my husband at a dance. Lots of places to meet, lots of people.

A serviceman at my home yesterday had interest in me. I told him I had a boyfriend. Finding a boyfriend is easy, even now. Finding an inner quality person with intelligence which I seek is not as easy.

 

[pedro47]

Good morning.
LOL, the younger generations do not have boyfriend or girlfriend, they just have friends or associates. I have forgotten their new terminology name..

Head up keep on marching Upward. Remember to Relax, and just enjoy Panina first and always. IMHO.

 

[Panina]

Hi all my friends.

This will be my last post on this thread. Time to move on. I will post a new thread once I get my bedroom furniture. It is being handmade by the Amish and I am looking forward to its arrival in a few weeks and want to share it with you.

My journey continued these past two weeks being peaceful with lots of self reflection. I am learning more each day about myself. I am getting more comfortable with me, myself and I. Even the silence is golden.

I have been continuing to engage in e-harmony. I even had my first in person date today. Yes, masks and distance. The guy brought me lovely flowers and is very nice but not sure if I feel any chemistry or maybe I am just not ready.

I will take the next few months for more reflection, just for myself. One thing I do know for sure is the breakup and move was the right thing for me. What I don’t want to do is rush into a new relationship that is wrong for me or hurt someone because I wasn’t truly ready.

My cousin is moving here to Florida December 11 so I am excited. It will be fun spending time together to catch up.

With the holidays coming up and the anniversary death of my husband right after, I might have difficult days. Time will tell.

I once again want to thank everyone for all the love and support I have felt. You all truly helped me through an extremely difficult time. I never felt alone.

Everyone should remember you are never alone. Our Tug family is always here when you need them.

So I leave you with some of my favorite quotes that reflect my journey:

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” – Dalai Lama

“Avoid the great temptation, settling for too little in your life.” Unknown

“Forgive and move on, holding anger only hurts you.” Panina

 

[Talent312]

One of my favorites:
I do not wish to kill nor to be killed, but I can foresee circumstances in which these things would be unavoidable.
-- Henry David Thoreau

 

[clifffaith]

"Don't look forward in fear. Don't look back with regret. Look around you with awareness".

I caught the last few minutes of an Elayne Boosler performance on a cable channel, I think more than 30 years ago, and maybe even on New Year's Eve (because I know it was way past my bedtime). She said this at the end of her performance, don't know if it is original to her or not.

 

[Talent312]

The Original:
"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness." (1983)
-- James Thurber, author of "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"

Source: www.azquotes.com

 

[dago]

The housing market right now is insane.... I have made 7 offers on properties and have offered full price or over asking price and have lost out on all properties

Yep I sold my house in Ohio in Sep in 2 days for 25k over asking price

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Yep I sold my house in Ohio in Sep in 2 days for 25k over asking price

In MI, the housing market seems to have slowed a bit, we are hopefully going to put our house up for sale in April