Houston couple asks guests to foot the bill for $200,000 wedding

[DrQ]

Houston couple asks guests to foot the bill for $200,000 wedding​

Perhaps unsurprisingly, most of the guests have reportedly declined the wedding invitation.​

https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/wedding-guests-pay-19664598.php

The issue of whether to charge guests has also become a hot topic on online wedding forums. On Reddit, one woman lamented that one of her closest friends was getting married and charging her guests $65 to attend the wedding. The fees reportedly covered food, music, decorations, and the venue. "This is so beyond tacky and tasteless," read one response. "Weddings are not fun enough to pay an admission fee. They can be torturous," another wrote.​

 

[x3 skier]

From the article, the Knot, the average cost of a wedding ceremony and reception in 2023 was $35,000—an increase of $5,000 from the previous year.

IIRC, mine back in the day cost all of $1000.

 

[jp10558]

Unless you're family already, I'm not paying to attend your wedding lol. It's already a PITA dressing up, dealing with the entire thing lol. It's not like it's a show I want to watch, and TBH, I very rarely want to go to live entertainment anyway lol. Claiming things were cheaper "back in the day" is a lot of "no *bleep* - inflation". But still - don't pay for something just to "keep up with someone elses expectations".

 

[DrQ]

Adjusted for inflation gov cpi (1977), our wedding cost $52K (open bar, only daughter), it was the wedding my MiL wanted, not what we wanted.

 

[simpsontruckdriver]

When my (late) wife and I got married in September 2009, we spent around $1000 including travel (we got married in Melrose MA where her family lives). Many of her family friends pitched in.

TS

 

[WaikikiFirst]

spoiled, self-entitled brats come in all shapes, sizes and ages

 

[CalGalTraveler]

What a waste. $200k should be a down payment on a home.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

When my (late) wife and I got married in September 2009, we spent around $1000 including travel (we got married in Melrose MA where her family lives). Many of her family friends pitched in.

TS

When DW and I got married in 1974, it was an 11 am affair, with folding seats set up on the lawn of the church we attended, and where she had attended most of her childhood. Music was provided by a guitar-playing friend of DWs. No formal wear. DW wore a nice cream-colored full length dress, with a floral arrangement in her hair. I wore a blue blazer. Clergymen were my father and the assistant pastor of the church (a longtime family friend). My brother was best man. Her sister was maid of honor. No one else in the bridal party.

Across the lawn there were some folding tables set up, with finger foods prepared and put out by one of the women's groups at the church. When the ceremony was over, everyone just headed over there to mingle and socialize.

DW's family paid for most of the costs (not very much). FIL was quite pleased; he thought we were being very responsible and appreciated how we had kept costs down. MIL was disappointed, because it wasn't a bigger event.

 

[LannyPC]

For me, that would be a tough one if I were an invited guest. Assuming the wedding party are my close friends and family members, do I say, "I'll attend if I don't have to pay, but if I have to pay, forget it!"? Do I want $65 to stand in the way of possibly creating a rift between my friend(s) or family? Maybe I'd look at it as saying the $65 is the wedding gift (a lot of people give cash as wedding gifts nowadays) and I don't have to buy a toaster.

OTOH, why $200,000 for a wedding?!?!

 

[moonstone]

I think charging an admission to a wedding is ridiculous! If you (or bride's parents) cant afford a big wedding then either save up or have a smaller wedding.

One of our groomsmen got married a few years after we did to a very nice but very shy girl. They didn't want a big wedding even though the bride's parents had the money and were willing to foot the bill for whatever she wanted. They chose to get married in the town park beside a pond with swans and ducks swimming around behind them. It was a beautiful and not too hot summer day. Afterwards the 20 some guests in attendance went back to the bride's parents' nearby home for a BBQ dinner (burgers & salads) in their backyard. There was a small bonfire later in the evening and we all had a great time chatting and roasting marshmallows. The brides parents gave the couple $20,000 as a wedding gift saying that was the money could have spent on the wedding, a lot of money in the late '70s! The couple put that towards a down payment on the purchase of a house the following year.

~Diane

 

[Shiba]

I’ll pay the admission to attend in lieu of a wedding gift. I will not pay to attend and give you a gift, that’s double dipping.

 

[VegasBella]

I saw a recent TikTok where a woman said her husband was invited to a wedding and there was a substantial fee to attend but not only that, if he brought a plus-one then the plus-one must babysit other people's children! What!?! So strange. They don't even have kids so it's extra weird.

I can't imagine inviting anyone to my wedding and expecting them to pay more than travel and lodging costs. In fact, my husband and I had a very private ceremony and only invited people to the reception. And that we kept low-key and didn't ask anyone to pitch in, not even our parents.

 

[jwalk03]

Nope. I'm out on paying an admission fee for a wedding. I am a groomsman in a wedding in September and I was shocked by how much the tux rental cost me! Almost $300 now!

 

[rickandcindy23]

Our daughter was married 20 years ago. We paid $10K for the entire wedding with buffet food at the Holiday Inn conference center in Northglen, CO.

This cost included a string quartet in the church, her wedding gown, other music (DJ at the reception and piano player at the church). About 160 guests. We kept it small.

I remember when our daughter asked what the budget would be, shortly after the engagement ring was on her finger, Rick said, $5,000. I gave him a look that basically told him this was not going to be a backyard wedding.

 

[x3 skier]

Claiming things were cheaper "back in the day" is a lot of "no *bleep* - inflation".

Pretty steep inflation to go from $1000 to $200000.

 

[Cornell]

Vulgar

Wedding ceremonies aren’t entertainment. They are a deeply important ceremony- often religious/ which you can choose to have witnesses or loving support.

Receptions afterwards are completely optional which at their base level involve inviting GUESTS which someone is HOSTING.

 

[tombanjo]

for $500 I'll create an AI Wedding Photo Album you can share on Instagram with Snoop Dog, Marilyn Monroe and Spanky from "Our Gang" as best man. (Speech extra)

 

[DaveNV]

OTOH, why $200,000 for a wedding?!?!

Because they can. And oh yeah - they're not paying for it.

When we got married, we flew to Napa Valley and had a small ceremony in a winery at the top of a mountain. Then we went home and had a reception two weeks later for 50 of our closest friends. We paid for all of it. Entire cost, with airfare, was about $2500. It was some of the best memories of our lives. We even declined gifts - we already had a toaster...

It should be about the event, not the venue or how much your guests care enough to fork over to attend.

Dave

 

[Dori]

Nope! I think this a crass move on the part of 2 very narcistic, entitled people! Plus, they will obviously be expecting a wedding gift on top of the “admission fee”!

The nerve of some people astounds me!

Dori

 

[rickandcindy23]

Because they can. And oh yeah - they're not paying for it.

When we got married, we flew to Napa Valley and had a small ceremony in a winery at the top of a mountain. Then we went home and had a reception two weeks later for 50 of our closest friends. We paid for all of it. Entire cost, with airfare, was about $2500. It was some of the best memories of our lives. We even declined gifts - we already had a toaster...

It should be about the event, not the venue or how much your guests care enough to fork over to attend.

Dave

Yes, how many toasters can a person use??

 

[CalGalTraveler]

I wonder if the couple expected gifts in addition? And what happens if they don't get the full l$200k? Is this like crowdfunding that if the goal is not met the marriage is off?

 

[DaveNV]

Yes, how many toasters can a person use??

Yes. We have friends (a middle-aged, very successful couple) who got married a few years after us. On their wedding invitation, it actually said: "Gifts? Who doesn't love gifts? Bring 'em on!"

When I casually asked them about that, I was told, "We've gone our whole lives buying gifts for other people's weddings. Now it's our turn."

I thought it was very low class, and greedy.

So as their wedding gift, I gave them "Dinner and a Movie."

It was a DVD of an old Don Knotts movie, and a package of microwave popcorn.

Two can play that game.

Dave

 

[jp10558]

Pretty steep inflation to go from $1000 to $200000.

I just mean it's not necessarily quite as big a jump as the dollar amount means. Depending on if you prefer shadowstats or CPI, assuming that $1000 was in 1970, the 2022 value in shadow stats would be $58,162.74. CPI in 2024 claims only $8,075.32.

This is an extravagant wedding, yes. But per at least one calculation, it's "only" 4x what the person paid back in 1970, not 200x.

I agree that this is an insane cost for a wedding, even in 2024, and to expect to sell tickets? Yea, not something I'm down for.

Yes, how many toasters can a person use??

I think about 2 - one to use and a spare for when that one dies.

 

[jp10558]

Yes. We have friends (a middle-aged, very successful couple) who got married a few years after us. On their wedding invitation, it actually said: "Gifts? Who doesn't love gifts? Bring 'em on!"

When I casually asked them about that, I was told, "We've gone our whole lives buying gifts for other people's weddings. Now it's our turn."

I thought it was very low class, and greedy.

So as their wedding gift, I gave them "Dinner and a Movie."

It was a DVD of an old Don Knotts movie, and a package of microwave popcorn.

Two can play that game.

Dave

I guess - I see their POV - it seems a little unfair to think they should give gifts to every wedding they go to, as a societal expectation, but when they get married now they're being greedy. Obviously people can give the gift they feel is appropriate.

 

[DrQ]

Because they can. And oh yeah - they're not paying for it.

In our case DW and I are both introverted and hate being the center of attention. MiL and FiL both were born in the town and grew up together (their last names began with the same letter) and they had a huge number of friends in the community. He was also a local businessman.

When we got married, we flew to Napa Valley and had a small ceremony in a winery at the top of a mountain. Then we went home and had a reception two weeks later for 50 of our closest friends.

We would have loved this type of ceremony and reception. My wife's brother got the wedding we wanted.

We had a sit-down dinner (Chicken Kiev) reception for over 200 guests with an open bar with a live band. There were a handful of my relatives and the wedding party, but they were strangers to me. From DW's perspective, most of the guests were her parents friends of whom she was familiar, but not most not super close.

When we announced our engagement, FiL offered to give us the $$$ for the wedding cost if we eloped, but MiL would have killed us.