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Hi, An Update to All My Friends

nerodog

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So nice to read your update Panina! It sounds like you have really accomplished so much in so little time and your news shows how full circle you have come in this life change. Its a relief I'm sure to be where you are now but with alot of diligence, good planning and knowing the direction you wanted to take has really helped. Next, step , your step daughter. Is it possible for her to come for an extended visit to share your new home and life? Dating...take it slow. As the saying goes, life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.Like Geekette stated so eloquently, you made the change happen . Many are too fearful of change and settle . Life is too short so like you've done, continue to embrace and enjoy your new home, neighborhood, friends, etc etc... thanks for the news. Although I don't know you, I looked for your posts!! :)
 

geekette

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Thank you, you touched my heart. You are a true friend. None of this was easy, even sharing here on TUG but I did it to show others there is a way out if you truly want it. ♥
Tug is a safe place full of supportive people. Lots of deeply personal things are discussed here and usually delicate matters are handled with sensitivity. I find it therapeutic, as different views that I might not share can still help shape my perspective. We are all so different, but, for decades now, peaceful discourse on matters serious and silly. My list of things I learned on Tug that have nothing to do with timeshares is Huge. Most of my 'friends on the internet' are here.

Sometimes it takes an objective outsider to point out the obvious. Like I just did. You changed it all up to stop sadness and set yourself up for happiness. You were mighty efficient in it as well!

We don't know who is lurking here in same situation, have thought to themselves, "I'm stuck", "there's nothing I can do", etc. By posting your journey, you may have helped others and will never know it. Someone out there might be thinking, well, she did that, maybe I could, too...

There is nothing wrong with seeking happiness. I wish everyone would.
 

geekette

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I'm so glad you turned up! I've been thinking of you. My divorce was final in September. The holidays were not fun, but honestly not as bad as they could have been. My 29th wedding anniversary would have been Sunday. That was also not the most fun day I've ever had, but I filled it with work and keeping busy. Anyhow, finding joy in lots of unexpected places.

I applaud you for dating. I'm still in the "boys are pigs" stage, and I will likely be there sometime. :) Let's face it...if he doesn't work at Target or teach school, I won't have time to meet him anyhow! As dear George says, there are worse things than living alone, and I'm choosing to find the things that are good about it.

Glad that you kept some of your timeshares. I got all 4 of ours. I enjoy using them, and they MAKE me go on vacation. I'm working a lot to make ends meet, so those little breaks are even more valuable now.

Keep choosing joy and peace! Thanks again for letting us know how you are!
Oh my, I'm so sorry, what a rough stretch for you. Things do get easier with passage of time. I was married nearly 20 years and it does take some getting used to.

Keep on finding joy. Alone doesn't automatically mean lonely. I get too many calls assuming that I am lonely but I'm not - I like my own company.

I'm not sure I'm in the 'men are pigs' arena, more like "I don't need entanglements" mindset.

Just keep on living your life your way and enjoying making decisions that benefit You and only You. I found it great fun to create my "Earth Room", walls are different colors and the changing light through the skylights makes it very interesting. It wasn't really planned, except I wanted to paint, and for some reason, I wanted bright yellow. That's odd for me, especially because there is a pale yellow room here that is kinda ick.

My husband would have hated that. He would never have gone along with "I'll just check Lowe's paint clearance and select Something I think I like ..." That doesn't make him a bad guy, probably a normal person where I'm a bit whacky. I let out my full whacky when I divorced, craved Change. Moved every piece of furniture, sometimes repeatedly, so it became My House and no longer resembled where we lived together.

Sometimes, it's the simple things within our control that we can tweak to feel a bit more like ourselves vs whatever compromises we made that didn't really feel like compromises.

My best to you. I'm glad you will still be on "the forced vacation" plan!
 

Panina

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I'm so glad you turned up! I've been thinking of you. My divorce was final in September. The holidays were not fun, but honestly not as bad as they could have been. My 29th wedding anniversary would have been Sunday. That was also not the most fun day I've ever had, but I filled it with work and keeping busy. Anyhow, finding joy in lots of unexpected places.

I applaud you for dating. I'm still in the "boys are pigs" stage, and I will likely be there sometime. :) Let's face it...if he doesn't work at Target or teach school, I won't have time to meet him anyhow! As dear George says, there are worse things than living alone, and I'm choosing to find the things that are good about it.

Glad that you kept some of your timeshares. I got all 4 of ours. I enjoy using them, and they MAKE me go on vacation. I'm working a lot to make ends meet, so those little breaks are even more valuable now.

Keep choosing joy and peace! Thanks again for letting us know how you are!
Everyones needs and timeline is different as we move on to better things. The holidays were indeed different and lonely. First time I spent them on my own. You made me chuckle “ “boys are pig” Stage”. There are many like that but there are good ones out there, well at least a few.
 

Panina

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So nice to read your update Panina! It sounds like you have really accomplished so much in so little time and your news shows how full circle you have come in this life change. Its a relief I'm sure to be where you are now but with alot of diligence, good planning and knowing the direction you wanted to take has really helped. Next, step , your step daughter. Is it possible for her to come for an extended visit to share your new home and life? Dating...take it slow. As the saying goes, life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.Like Geekette stated so eloquently, you made the change happen . Many are too fearful of change and settle . Life is too short so like you've done, continue to embrace and enjoy your new home, neighborhood, friends, etc etc... thanks for the news. Although I don't know you, I looked for your posts!! :)
My daughter is afraid to travel on her own to come here. With her dad she would come but she wants him to stay in my house, yes to her, no to him. I love her with all my heart but I just can have him in my home. She is afraid if he is in a hotel, he will not be careful with the virus, not that he is at all. I actually stopped the dating apps when I met the person I am currently getting to know unexpected. It will be slow as he lives in another state and won’t be back for awhile, actually moving here in the spring. I met him on his last visit here. Anyway I am a big girl and have my eyes open but will have my heart open too.
 

bogey21

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With her dad she would come but she wants him to stay in my house, yes to her, no to him.
I was married twice, once for 10 years and once for 20. Although I get along fabulously with both ex-wives I'm afraid that if I let one of them stay with me it could (would) ruin our current relationship. I'm 100% in "don't rock the boat mode"...

George
 

geoand

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Thanks for the update. It really looks like you have everything in order. Sounds like you are having fun.
 

Talent312

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I'll share my 'dating-too-soon' story:
A classic blunder by dating before the ink was dry on the divorce decree.
I said, "I wish my ex would disappear from the Earth, never to be seen again."
My date's reply: "Oh, no! You can't mean that. I just found out my ex has cancer."
... Me, thinking internally: "This isn't going well." -- That was 22 years ago.
.
 

Panina

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@Panina somewhere down the road I would love to read your dating mismatch stories!
I can write a book, just these past 3 months. Now add in when I dated after my husband passed and I can have volumes, lol. Stories just can’t be made up, unbelievable.
 
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