Your life is full. You are BLESSED!
I am Quite Blessed. Life is full because I make it so. I don't miss the 'overfull' days of 60-80 hr work weeks. Life was full of toil "for da man" back then. I do greatly miss ballroom dance and my friends from the studio. Some holes can't be filled, and most all of us "got holes" when pandemic set in. Treasured things that were suddenly No Go.
I was born with features from both my mother and father and seem to have used these inheritances throughout my life. I am about to fully become Nature Girl, but the sad fact is that Mom will probably not ever be able to see it. It's not hopeless, but she seems to be choosing to not get out of bed, and there is only one direction that will take her. I keep trying to make her "feel needed" by asking about things she knows about. I'm terribly worried about her mind going to mush, sitting there in front of the tv all day every day.
It will be hard to leave the hawks and deer that have featured in so many of my days here over the last 20ish years. I treasure my memories of stumbling baby deer, too young to have figured out how their legs work, born in my back yard. I like that I was able to "be friends" with them. The hawks trust me enough to land on my deck rail, allowing me to see them up close.
I have another offer in hand (lower than other offer), a company that can work quickly, so I could be gone from this shanty in the woods by end of January. The higher offer has a 30-days-at-least process and no firm offer number (kind of "no more than $", pending more digging around here, I guess...).
It seems like I should be scared out of my mind, but I'm not. Maybe I should say, others think that I should be scared out of my mind. I should maybe be dreading another serious round of packing and moving, but, I do very much enjoy a road trip and have really liked the powerful trucks I've been renting. So much fun through the mountains. I count Home Depot among my blessings, my accidental find of their rental moving trucks...
I'd say that my chief blessing is my natural optimism. This has been a vital gift throughout my life.
Overall, I'm one of the luckiest people I know. Through most everything, my glass has been at least half full.