Daughter Tired of Vacations

[clsmit]

I had to share this with people who would understand. A bit of background: Although we are not Jewish, we live in a community with a large Jewish population. In our area, this means that for 7th and 8th grade the kids are invited to many large, extravagent parties (think themed wedding reception) as the kids become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah (I hope I said that right).

DD (with a whiny 12 year old voice): "Mommy, do we HAVE to go to Disney World for Thanksgiving? I'm missing another Bar Mitzvah! And this one has a BUS to go from the service to the party! I already missed one since we were in the Bahamas! And we'll barely be home from Cancun in time to go to Jacob's (the boy next door)! I don't WANT to go on any more vacations!"

She REALLY said that this week! I didn't know whether to laugh or strangle her!

 

[DeniseM]

I wouldn't worry about it - she should be fully recovered from puberty... in 8 - 10 years!

In the meantime, is there a grandma or other responsible relative that you can leave her home with?

 

[taffy19]

She doesn't know how spoiled she is and the other kids are probably envious of her and so it goes, Alan would say.

 

[ownsmany]

my kids are the same way. "We're always away, can't we just stay home and relax".

There friends are totally jealous of all the places they get to go, and my kids
don't realise how lucky they are.

 

[lprstn]

Ha ha ha....out of the mouths of babes...

My daughter's priorities are like your child's she some sometimes complains about our vacations...and I calmly say to her..." I only have you for 7 more years to torture you with all these vacations and family time...sorry, but I am going to get my 9 months worth of pregnancy by dragging you with me all over the world until you go away to college and I can't afford it anymore!"

 

[stevens397]

Actually, it could be worse. There was an article in the NY Times a few years ago about non-Jewish families being forced to hold expensive "coming of age" parties by their children who had attended scores of Bat ad Bat Mitzvahs and wanted a special party of their own.

So the fact that you're only being asked to forego a vacation is saving you tens of thousands of dollars! Here's an idea - deposit the week with II and give it to the kid as a Bar Mitzvah present! Okay, I'm kidding.

 

[jerseygirl]

Was she switched at birth?

In my daughter's 8th grade yearbook, they had one of those "What If?" pages .... you know, imagine if John was tall, imagine if Susie didn't laugh so much. My daughter's said, "Imagine if Katie never went on vacation!"

 

[GrayFal]

You can have a "Super Sweet 16" as revenge - and payback!

 

[Icc5]

Son

We went through dealing with my son not wanting to go on vacations from about 14 years old on. He was tired of Hawaii (we took him there about 3 times) though each time we went he seemed very much to enjoy himself expecially the last time, snorkeling almost every day on Kaui.
We then decided to go to Florida (we live in California) and let him bring his best friend. He seemed to enjoy it when we did things but if he had it his way we would have just stayed at the unit.
This year we did Yellowstone and he loved it. He started talking about when he has kids and taking them to all these places he has been.
Go figure.
Bart

 

[pianodinosaur]

Unfortunately, youth is wasted on people too young to appreciate it.

 

[stevens397]

Let me give you the good news.

Your daughter will grow up, find a guy and get married. She'll have children. You will offer to take her family on a "free" vacation and I can guarantee you that she will jump at it!

As someone told me, "as long as you keep paying, they'll keep coming!"

 

[pammex]

I know exactly how you feel. The kids hit a certain age and well going on vacation with mom & dad is just not their idea of fun. Went thru this with 2 kids who are 7 years apart. Same thing.


We finally caved and had resonsible family members or other adults stay with them and lo and behold....it sure is nice to travel sans kids LOL.

Now both kids are older, one 18 and the other 24 and guess what the 24, wants to go with us and the 18, if we go to somewhere he has not been he too wants to go. His latest if you go to China, I want to go!!!

It is all a stage...and this too shall pass!

Best wishes!!!

 

[glenn1000]

We have had the same experience with our kids, now ages 17, 15 and 12. They gripe about going away, would rather just hang out at home and really want to bring friends along. This has made me kind of sad as we've had such great times and don't have much time before they head off for college. When we went to Italy last summer, none of them wanted to go and we left them behind with a sitter. Hard for me to believe since when I was a kid I badly wanted to travel but did not have the opportunity at that point. I guess the grass is always greener. Anyway, we let them each bring a friend to Hawaii earlier this year and had a lot of fun. Still trying to work it out in the short term but I am anxiously waiting for this stage to pass.

 

[applegirl]

It's funny but makes me want to cry!

Our kids are so little right now (5 and 2) and looooooove going on vacation with us. It's hard to imagine that there will come a day when they would rather not go and I we will have to drag them to another beautiful Marriott vacation club property. I know it will happen but I don't look forward to it!!!

This is why I am sooooooooo grateful we found timesharing while they are little. We make the most of our week plus a few getaways each year, and we've already had more vacations to nice t/s than I can shake a stick at.

I can't believe your daughter actually said that!!!!!!!!!!!!
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:

Thanks for sharing with us!

Janna

 

[ownsmany]

We have had the same experience with our kids, now ages 17, 15 and 12. They gripe about going away, would rather just hang out at home and really want to bring friends along. This has made me kind of sad as we've had such great times and don't have much time before they head off for college. When we went to Italy last summer, none of them wanted to go and we left them behind with a sitter. Hard for me to believe since when I was a kid I badly wanted to travel but did not have the opportunity at that point. I guess the grass is always greener. Anyway, we let them each bring a friend to Hawaii earlier this year and had a lot of fun. Still trying to work it out in the short term but I am anxiously waiting for this stage to pass.

My DD "accidently " let it slip that she MAY be able to take one friend to Hawaii with us this summer. Now - she is in a fight with a few friends who can't believe she doesn't know who she will take. We actually would have room for a lot of her friends (2 bedroom at KoOlina) because DH and other DD dont' want to go. I've taken a few of her friends on VK before and some of them tend to get on my last nerve.

 

[rsnash]

When you all allow your kids to bring friends, what are the financial arrangements? Do you pay for everything? Does the friend's parents pay for flights, but you pay for everything else, or do you ask their parents to also pay for their room & board?

If your daughter doesn't know who to ask, perhaps you can tell her how much it will cost the friend to come, or ask her who she is considering and you will ask the parents if they are able to contribute the amount necessary, before she asks the one friend and offends some others?

 

[littlestar]

We went through the teen years when it was not that cool to be with mom and dad on vacation. Fast forward 12 years later - they are working and paying their own bills now and ALWAYS want to go with us on vacation if there's room. They go, free lodging? Are you crazy, we're coming if you have room.

 

[janapur]

Our kids are so little right now (5 and 2) and looooooove going on vacation with us. It's hard to imagine that there will come a day when they would rather not go and I we will have to drag them to another beautiful Marriott vacation club property. I know it will happen but I don't look forward to it!!!

Janna

Our little ones (also 5 and 2) won't let us go without them. Well, the 2 yr old has to come so I don't have to pay for years of therapy later for excluding her.

Our 19 yr old was less enthused, until we started encouraging him to bring a friend or two. Thus, the need for lockoffs or multiple units. An added bonus is a built-in babysitter for at least a night.

Jana

 

[ownsmany]

When you all allow your kids to bring friends, what are the financial arrangements? Do you pay for everything? Does the friend's parents pay for flights, but you pay for everything else, or do you ask their parents to also pay for their room & board?

If your daughter doesn't know who to ask, perhaps you can tell her how much it will cost the friend to come, or ask her who she is considering and you will ask the parents if they are able to contribute the amount necessary, before she asks the one friend and offends some others?

If I ask them, I pay for everything. Only considering it for Hawaii as I can get the air with FF miles (not exactly the flight times I want - but saving $1k per ticket. I haven't taken friends to Hawaii before due to the airfare cost. Parents have offered to pay for flights other places we've taken them, but I don't feel right if I ask them to join us. I ask the parents to pack some food that their child likes and snacks as well (but everything has to fit in carryon's only). Hawaii will get expensive as we do Luau's, cultural center, etc. I may ask DD and her friend to do light chores over the next few months to work for the trip. Not sure on that yet What do others do?

 

[janapur]

When our oldest went off to college it became much easier because he did the asking. His friends (their parents) pay airfare and bring some spending money. We cover all meals eaten together . . . when the kids are on their own they cover themselves.

When my oldest was younger we paid for everything, but asked the boys to "work it off" with odd jobs. We probably didn't get our money's worth, but the guys sure appreciated it. We have always reserved the right to veto our son's choice as a guest, but we've never had to exercise it.

Jana