Cost sharing with invited guests/friends

[VacationForever]

When we invite friends to travel with us, we do not expect any sort of reimbursements for the accommodation. We get our air-tickets separately and if our friends offer to pay for the rental car, we accept. Beyond that it is a matter of their financial situation. For some friends who are struggling to make ends meet, we pay for everything including their food as we enjoy each other's company and we are just glad that they could join us and see that they have a good time. For others who have the means to pay, we usually just take turns to pick up the tab - food, tours etc. We have not had a situation which we felt short-changed.

 

[pedro47]

Thanks everyone, I am going to share this thread with my spouse family members.

 

[vacationhopeful]

shouldn't have to ask, done it many times with friends. They all paid for something thru-out the trip as appreciation on there own and that was nice.
I have had none of them ask about renting one on there own.

could start off by hey I'm looking at going such and such place this time of year, anybody interested in going and share the cost?

If you like company and you can afford the trip, you are better off inviting to come along, splitting you will probably go alone.

I like some people but to pay for their vacation? I do not have a printing press for money nor should I feel I need another adult couple or a single "friend" whom to entertain. I rather take the younger generation (my nieces and nephews) who live either a hundred plus miles away or 3,000 thousand miles away.

Plus, I find I usually get annoyed with several things they do ... vanish when I thought we have plans or argue to change a planned event "because THEY decided". Love those 3 words .... after I had committed my vacation time and/or dollars ... I get stood up or I go it alone. As they walked along the beach or had 2 more drinks or cruised thru another tee shirt shop or took a nap or made other plans... all the while not answering their cell phones or even leaving a note under my door.

Petty ... sure, but when I spent $1500+ for the MFs and exchange fees, did a first day tour AGAIN or ate at that "great (NOT)" OVERPRICE food place ... gave up the master suite to accommodate their privacy & space needs vs me travelling solo ....

So, I book my 1bdr or studio AND when people ask or imply they would LIKE to tag along on this trip or next time, I email them info for a unit to rent where and when I am going ... tell them my flight schedule ... shuttles to the resort and likes to activities. I don't do the "Welcome Party" by the tour company ... but suggest they attend.

I am usually surprised if they come ...because I find MOST people want the adventure but NONE of the work or responsibility that THEIR vacation they PLANNED might be a DUD. Or somewhere along the researching and planning, they decide an escorted tour is best for them.... now, that their next question is, "Do we want to pay for an full service escorted tour?"

 

[silentg]

Our next vacation, we have invited DD & DSiL to Ft Lauderdale with us for the weekend we arrive. DS lives in the area so he will come over and may stay in middle of week. Usually we travel alone the two of us. Used to take my mother but she is not up to traveling anymore. We bought our timeshares for us. Occasionally we bring family. Invite friends but best times are when its just us two. Don't get me wrong, love my kids, but conflicting schedules and personalities sometimes stress instead of relaxing.
Silentg

 

[Quadmaniac]

Quadmanica - I have (ok, HAD now) a "renter/share" friend also ... gets $100K in retirement cash and always like tagging along to exciting places. I don't rent cars in South Florida and "renter" is too cheap to rent his own car. Doesn't like spending money for food, does not LIKE ANYONE to have an adult beverage when he is around (first he thought it is foolish to spend dollars to "get" silly, then he got "religion issues" 30 years later), KNOWS everything about EVERYTHING even though he had not read anything about where he is going, and everything to eat is either too expensive or to strange or too spicy.

But the final "personality tic" for me was his "major melt down fit" when he lost (dropped) his all day water-taxi ticket (~$14) 15 minutes after he paid for it. First, we had to back-track a block to "look" for it. Then his temper tantrum and hissy fit - so I said, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? GIVE MY TICKET TO YOU?" ... his immediate reply was "YES!". So I gave him my ticket. He gets ALL HAPPY ... and then asks, "What are you going to do for a Water Taxi ticket?" with the innocent of the village idiot. I told him I was walking up the block and taking the public bus back to the resort ... turned & walked off. It was TIKI bar time for me ... the one place I knew I would not be seeing his non-drinking face at ... and I was safe for the rest of the week in my collection of nearby watering holes. Except he liked making noisy in his lockoff unit at weird hours ... after drinking, it is really easy to not hear his noise.

Your friend came along more than once ??

 

[Ty1on]

I like some people but to pay for their vacation? I do not have a printing press for money nor should I feel I need another adult couple or a single "friend" whom to entertain. I rather take the younger generation (my nieces and nephews) who live either a hundred plus miles away or 3,000 thousand miles away.

Plus, I find I usually get annoyed with several things they do ... vanish when I thought we have plans or argue to change a planned event "because THEY decided". Love those 3 words .... after I had committed my vacation time and/or dollars ... I get stood up or I go it alone. As they walked along the beach or had 2 more drinks or cruised thru another tee shirt shop or took a nap or made other plans... all the while not answering their cell phones or even leaving a note under my door.

Petty ... sure, but when I spent $1500+ for the MFs and exchange fees, did a first day tour AGAIN or ate at that "great (NOT)" OVERPRICE food place ... gave up the master suite to accommodate their privacy & space needs vs me travelling solo ....

So, I book my 1bdr or studio AND when people ask or imply they would LIKE to tag along on this trip or next time, I email them info for a unit to rent where and when I am going ... tell them my flight schedule ... shuttles to the resort and likes to activities. I don't do the "Welcome Party" by the tour company ... but suggest they attend.

I am usually surprised if they come ...because I find MOST people want the adventure but NONE of the work or responsibility that THEIR vacation they PLANNED might be a DUD. Or somewhere along the researching and planning, they decide an escorted tour is best for them.... now, that their next question is, "Do we want to pay for an full service escorted tour?"

I'm with you completely. Additionally, vacation for me is a getaway. From work, from friends, from my entire daily life.

 

[okwiater]

vacation for me is a getaway...from friends

You need some new friends!

 

[Passepartout]

Thanks everyone, I am going to share this thread with my spouse family members.

That oughtta solve having them along on your vacations...

 

[Ty1on]

You need some new friends!

They're always here when I come back.

 

[vacationhopeful]

Your friend came along more than once ??

It took years several years time. You forgot the "pain of child birth" and had a second child?

First was a 12day trip on the QE2 with a week long bus tour of Great Britain... told me he did NOT approve of my drinking. The week long bus trip had a woman who ONLY wore hot pink outfits. Her husband had earing aids .. we all needed ear plugs. He thought she was a sweet lady ... and she tended to track after us. I trying to separate her from being around me; he is flirting with her. Last evening on the bus trip she did not join the group for dinner...seems her husband was NOT DEAF ... he used the "hear aids" as ear plugs to not listen to her endless babble (he was a nice guy).

Second was a 2 week trip to Eastern Europe - I went the year before - he dumped all my stuff (his side of the room had a night stand; my side a 30 inch table & wood chair) with a wave of his arm across the table to drop my stuff on the floor ... so he could sit in the chair & read his book as he held it ... I was in the shower.

Third and final trip was to Ft Lauderdale where within 10 minutes he lost his Water Taxi ticket and had a "melt down" ... asked him just what do you want from me to do? (after back tracking and looking for it). "You want me to give you my TICKET?" He said YES and I gave it to him and DUMPED his self-centered cheap as crap butt. (Was a causal friend who I had known thru other friends over 30+ years).

 

[taterhed]

It took years several years time. You forgot the "pain of child birth" and had a second child?



First was a 12 trip on the QE2 with a week long bus tour of Great Britain.



Second was a 2 week trip to Eastern Europe - I went the year before - he dumped all my stuff (his side of the room had a night stand; my side a 30 inch table & wood chair) with a wave of his arm across the table to drop my stuff on the floor ... so he could sit in the chair & read his book as he held it.



Third and final trip was to Ft Lauderdale where within 10 minutes he lost his Water Taxi ticket and had a "melt down" ... asked him just what do you want from me to do? (after back tracking and looking for it). "You want me to give you my TICKET?" He said YES and I gave it to him and DUMPED his self-centered cheap as crap butt. (Was a causal friend who I had known thru other friends over 30+ years).

My condolences.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[presley]

Love reading these posts!

I've mentioned this before, but I am usually much more exhausted after a timeshare vacation and that is often because I spend so much time cleaning up after other people and never having any downtime for myself.

I can bring different people each time, but one thing they all have in common is that they have no idea how to wash dishes, don't bring money for food and don't know how to take out the trash. The most recent one we had with extra people, one asked me at one point, "how can I make food? all the dishes are dirty." I went ahead and stated the obvious, "just wash a few dishes to use or fill and run the dishwasher." It never happened. When we got home, I told my husband that I hate timeshare vacations and wanted to sell all of mine. He whined that he needs timeshares so he can cook his own food and said that he will try to help with dishes and trash next time.

I've never had anyone offer to buy us food, offer money for the room or even attempt to get their own rental cars, etc - even with me telling them ahead of time that they will need to rent their own car or book their own tours.

 

[geekette]

Love reading these posts!

I've mentioned this before, but I am usually much more exhausted after a timeshare vacation and that is often because I spend so much time cleaning up after other people and never having any downtime for myself.

I can bring different people each time, but one thing they all have in common is that they have no idea how to wash dishes, don't bring money for food and don't know how to take out the trash. The most recent one we had with extra people, one asked me at one point, "how can I make food? all the dishes are dirty." I went ahead and stated the obvious, "just wash a few dishes to use or fill and run the dishwasher." It never happened. When we got home, I told my husband that I hate timeshare vacations and wanted to sell all of mine. He whined that he needs timeshares so he can cook his own food and said that he will try to help with dishes and trash next time.

I've never had anyone offer to buy us food, offer money for the room or even attempt to get their own rental cars, etc - even with me telling them ahead of time that they will need to rent their own car or book their own tours.

HOLY CRAP! Dump the deadbeats, you are not the world's maid nor vacation benefactor.

In the future, keep in mind that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, so quit giving it! This includes your husband. He will "try to help" next time?? What happened This Time? He's cooking food and not doing dishes? He is ignoring that trash needs to be taken out? He thinks it's ok to do nothing while his wife does all the work?

Dear, you need a vacation From all of them and don't owe anyone an explanation.

 

[DavidnRobin]

HOLY CRAP! Dump the deadbeats, you are not the world's maid nor vacation benefactor.

In the future, keep in mind that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, so quit giving it! This includes your husband. He will "try to help" next time?? What happened This Time? He's cooking food and not doing dishes? He is ignoring that trash needs to be taken out? He thinks it's ok to do nothing while his wife does all the work?

Dear, you need a vacation From all of them and don't owe anyone an explanation.

^^^ this ^^^

Wow - comparatively my friends and family are fantastic travel companions as to some other's experiences.

My response to cost sharing is that it depends on multiple factors - mainly how generous they are in turn, and their financial situation - and of course do we want to travel with them.
Not a one size fits all situation

Still trying to figure out why this thread is in the SVO forum...

 

[presley]

Still trying to figure out why this thread in in the SVO forum...

I didn't reply for a long time because of that. When I saw lots of other non Starwood owners were responding, I joined in.

I never asked for people to pay towards the room, figuring I was paying it whether they came or not. I don't understand the food thing, though. Last time we brought extra people, I specifically said I would have one community box of cereal, a loaf of bread and pb and jelly, juice and bottled water. I said everything else was off limits and for my family only. They didn't touch the off limit stuff, but one of the people literally lived on the cereal and pb and J sandwiches.

I just spent a weekend cruise with my daughter who paid for her fare. It was awesome. Full room cleaning twice per day, room service, etc. If only there were cruise ships with wheels.... We are already planning another.

 

[geekette]

I didn't reply for a long time because of that. When I saw lots of other non Starwood owners were responding, I joined in.

I never asked for people to pay towards the room, figuring I was paying it whether they came or not. I don't understand the food thing, though. Last time we brought extra people, I specifically said I would have one community box of cereal, a loaf of bread and pb and jelly, juice and bottled water. I said everything else was off limits and for my family only. They didn't touch the off limit stuff, but one of the people literally lived on the cereal and pb and J sandwiches.

I just spent a weekend cruise with my daughter who paid for her fare. It was awesome. Full room cleaning twice per day, room service, etc. If only there were cruise ships with wheels.... We are already planning another.

Are these adults or kids? I could understand just out of college and younger feeling so poor that PBJ is cuisine but I would find it so odd as to be creepy for an adult to live on PBJ. Unless that adult were unemployed, but in that case, needs a vacation from what?

I can think of no reasons beyond illness or physical disability that an adult would be unable to load, run, and unload dishwasher. Even a kid can do it. Growing up it was only kids at our house taking trash out, dad would be mad if mom had to tell us to do it.

If ever these folks are so bold as to ask you to take them on vacation again, please go ahead and say yes and state the cost of your MF as the cost of the trip. Straight faced, delivered as a statement and not an apologetic question; no "if that's ok?" stuff. Be strong, be firm. If they wanna go, they can foot the bill this time. Probably this will prevent their ever asking again. Well, you know, after they try to wiggle out of the bill this time with "it didn't cost anything last time!" and you can say "It cost me plenty". Please be selfish.

I'm so glad you went on a cruise!!! Even tho cabins are so so small, cruises still fit my idea of luxury. You deserve to be pampered. And obviously you have raised your daughter well. I'm glad you plan to travel with her again, that pairing seems to work well for you.

May every vacation from here on out be blissful vs pissful.

 

[gnorth16]

I set the ground rules upfront - We split the groceries and car rental and they can pay for a round of golf or a nice meal out.

Whenever I bring a friend, it's in a 2BR lock-off and we each have our own space. Some time is spent together, usually meals and pool time and some time is apart , afternoon nap, gym, walk....etc.

It's a cheap vacation for the friend and I'm out very little booking a 2BR versus a 1BR, so by sharing the cost of the car and a round of golf, I am no further behind.

 

[WinniWoman]

We have had guests a few times and I have never had any issues with cost sharing at all. Usually the guests bring up food (some prepared) and alcohol, etc. Or, they ship in for the groceries.They have paid for some dinners/lunches out and chipped in for some fee based activities, etc. Sometimes we have treated and other times they treat. Sometimes we each pay for our own things. Don't keep exact tabs on it. Haven't had any offer gas money though.

My brother in law actually cooked us a nice Italian dinner this past summer while we took a day trip to Quebec province while he stayed at the condo. He cleaned up and everything!

Never had issues with anyone not being neat and cleaning up. I guess I have good friends/relatives!

That said, I prefer if someone has their own condo as to prevent too much togetherness.

 

[moonstone]

We have vacationed with family (immediate & extended), friends as well as neighbours. We have only ever shared a unit with our children. When I see a good deal on a Last Call or Extra Vacation I will mention it to anybody I think would be interested & tell them the 1 bedrooms cost XX & a 2 bedroom would be XY. We invite them over and they watch me book it online and their unit is put on their credit card at time of booking. They have their own place & we have ours! I always call the resort to get units beside or across from each other. We often plan dinners together (eating in or out) as well as outings. We make it clear that there is no hard feelings if somebody wants to do something on their own.

So far it has worked out, although 1 (extended) family group seem to get a little upset that we don't want to eat out 3 meals a day, every day, for the entire stay! I told them that's why we stay in a timeshare & not a hotel!

~Diane

 

[klpca]

We have vacationed with family (immediate & extended), friends as well as neighbours. We have only ever shared a unit with our children. When I see a good deal on a Last Call or Extra Vacation I will mention it to anybody I think would be interested & tell them the 1 bedrooms cost XX & a 2 bedroom would be XY. We invite them over and they watch me book it online and their unit is put on their credit card at time of booking. They have their own place & we have ours! I always call the resort to get units beside or across from each other. We often plan dinners together (eating in or out) as well as outings. We make it clear that there is no hard feelings if somebody wants to do something on their own.

So far it has worked out, although 1 (extended) family group seem to get a little upset that we don't want to eat out 3 meals a day, every day, for the entire stay! I told them that's why we stay in a timeshare & not a hotel!

~Diane

We had to do this exact thing in Cabo last year because Hurricane Odile ruined the place where we had a two bedroom unit booked. We took a studio unit (used an xyz) and friends took the 1 bedroom (getaway) and we split the cost since that was the original deal. It worked out great to have two units and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

 

[WinniWoman]

We have had relatives stay with us once after I invited them because they were short on funds for a vacation. They really are beach/warm weather/Caribbean types so not sure how much they enjoyed themselves in a Northern VT summer location. But every time after that they have gone to the Caribbean for their vacations.

My brother-in-law is single and 69 years old and he never goes anywhere and so we invited him twice, as he loves the mountains. And he really did enjoy himself.

Also invited a friend of mine and her husband once, who we never see as they live several hours away from our home. They came for a couple of days to our home resort once, as well as an exchange we made another time. Had a lock-off unit in that one.

This XMAS- my brother and his family are renting their own unit for a few days at our home resort (as are we), which they have never been to. We never see each other and I was surprised they agreed to do this. When I arranged the rental, we could only get 1 two bdrm unit, so, although we also needed a 2 bdrm unit, we let them take the 2 bdrm and we took the 1 bdrm, since they have a 20 yr old daughter and they have never been to the resort. (We will have our 27 year old son with us). This way we could be in the same building. We will probably treat one or two dinners and I know they will do the same. We plan to just pay for our own fee based activities.

Our son has had some friends come with him in the past.

But I don't think for the most part anyone else I know would rent at our home resort in the summer, which is when we own, (Smuggs) (private or through the resort), as rentals are very expensive and most of them prefer to go to more exotic locations for that amount of money. We had friends who came up once and decided to stay a few days at an Inn 20 minutes away from our condo. I assume they got a good deal on rates and didn't care about having a condo.

The other resort we own at in NH has better rates for private rentals in general.

Lock-offs are probably the best in these situations if you are lucky enough to own a week in one.

 

[MommaBear]

I guess we have been very lucky with our travel companions! We are sitting in an airport waiting for our flights to Hawaii where DH and I will rendezvous with my BFFF. The first week is our TS, the second is in hers. We split the rental car, food and we take turns paying for meals out. We gave up keeping score the year we kept detailed accounting of who paid for what and after spending a few thousand dollars, we were within $10. Another friend we pay the TS and share the rest as she is broke and we are not. She pays her own way there. We pay for the kids and grandkids lodging, they pay their own transport and we rotate dinner responsibility, with the single daughter taking only one meal for each married couples two meals. Those with more money might do steak, with less tacos. Who cares? We are together, having fun. We often do a surprise treat meal out. We also generally bring a case of nice wine to go with our meals in.

Early in our lives we were the poor relations and would not go if we couldn't afford to do our share. There were times my family insisted we go anyway so we made sure we did more of the clean up or more of the prep.

 

[Timeshare Von]

Some of these people/comments are the very reason why I often travel alone . . . including NOT taking my hubby. I love him dearly, but for some vacations I plan I know he would not enjoy himself or be game to go along.

Case in point, I just did a 5,500 mile (round trip) road trip vacation over 17 days driving from Milwaukee. My stops at points of interest included Hyde Park, NY (1 day), Bar Harbor, Maine (3 days), Fundy NP, New Brunswick (2 days), Cape d'Or, Nova Scotia (2 days), Halifax (2 days), Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (2 days) . . . plus the roughly 2 day drive out and 3 day drive home.

Sure plenty of my friends (and family) said "Gee Von that sounds like a great vacation you're planning to Canada . . . any interest in a travel companion?"

When I told them I was driving and planning a mix of camping, B&B's and small motels along the route, there were no takers. (But I knew that before they even responded!) Most people cannot fathom the driving part of such a trip. For me, it's as much a part of the vacation as the destinations. Being able to make impromptu stops along the route or calling an audible is part of "my fun" on a vacation . . . something many (most?) don't care much for.

Anyway . . . I think it's important to protect our own sanity at all costs. If/when we lucky out and find a compatible travel companion or the nature of the trip is conducive for others, I say by all means go for it. But at this stage in my life, I'm done trying to make my vacation plans fit others' . I guess I've become too selfish in many ways.

 

[Timeshare Von]

And About Taking Photos

One more "deal breaker" with some people who have traveled with me . . .

If I hear more than once "Geesh how many photos of a _________ (fill in the blank) does she need?" They are OFF the list for any future invites.

 

[cgeidl]

No expectations of any payment

With our two adult children and their families we offer every year to provide timeshare lodging for a vacation. Our daughter and family have only gone a couple times but our much less affluent son goes one or two weeks a year. With friends we have we split the timeshare cost if they insist and cover it if the topic never comes up. With one couple they always take us out some place nice. The other couple insists on paying half the cost and they can well afford it. I drive and they always pick up the gas and sometimes buy a meal.
I see nothing wrong when planning a trip to make it clear the costs should be split. We just asked a couple to join us on a 17 day trip to Morocco and never offered to pay their share of the cost. Why should timeshare cost be any different?