Anyone: Senior year of college for youngest child

[Ann-Marie]

I have seen the thread about having children starting college. How about those whose youngest will be a senior in college. Is anyone else in the position of having to make the tough decision like we are. What to do next? Now that our youngest will most likely graduate and hopefully be gainfully employed in one year from now, what do we do about the big house we have, with no more children living at home? It's a really scary thing to make that big decision to sell the house that all our children have grown up in, and downsize. It's also sad to know that our children will all be out on their own (of course God willing). Anyone else having these feelings?

 

[Patri]

And how small do you want to get if children, spouses and grandchildren will someday come home for Christmas etc? Best wishes with this adjustment.

 

[lll1929]

My parents never downsized after my sister and I graduated from college.

The rooms are now filled with grandkids on various occasions.

 

[laura1957]

It is just my husband and myself actually living in his 5 bedroom house. My 18 year old has her own room because she does split her time between here and my ex's house. My husband's 18 year old lives in Richmond so she is here for a weekend every couple months, his son (27) is here whenever he has a fight with his girlfriend My husband's aunts from Georgia stay here for a week once or twice a year. My sister from NY stays here every year. My family from Louisianna stay here every couple years. Then there are all the grandkids....

I can't imagine ever downsizing - we seem to use those rooms often enough that they are still "needed"

 

[jfbookers]

Ya just never know

We moved fron a 4br 4 bath house into a 2br 2 bath condo when our yard boy (son) left for out of state college. Never expected to see him staying here for more than a week or two. Three years after his graduation he has finally moved out of our condo and the condo feels as big as it did when we moved in. The grandkids live close enough to visit, get really wound up, and go home. What a system. Yours, Jim

 

[Conan]

We decided to stay put; in fact we're in the middle of a kitchen renovation.

Timeshares influenced our decision - - we won't be buying a second home, which makes it easier to keep the original one.

 

[Lawlar]

Never Sell Family Home

Now that our youngest will most likely graduate and hopefully be gainfully employed in one year from now, what do we do about the big house we have, with no more children living at home? It's a really scary thing to make that big decision to sell the house that all our children have grown up in, and downsize.

You don’t mention if you need to sell your home for financial reasons. If not then I recommend that you keep the home for these reasons (and I suspect there are many others):
1. You will have grandkids (hopefully). They will love to come to your home for visits.
2. You may have boomerang children.
3. You have all those wonderful memories in your home.

My mother kept her home until the day she died (and she ran out of money at the same time – talk about perfect timing). That home was her greatest pleasure. I could not image her anywhere else. We loved to visit her there – all those wonderful memories.

My grandmother had a terrific home on a large lot 1 mile from my parents home. I spent every other weekend there. She made my childhood special. When she died (I was 18) she left me the house. I lived there until I was 38 when I sold it to raise money to start my business. I bought a condo and it was a nice place. Now I live in a comfortable home in Santa Barbara. But I still have dreams of my grandmother’s home. It was a special place and I wish I had never sold it. If I could do one thing differently in my life I would have kept that home and left it to my grandkid when I died.

 

[Ann-Marie]

What we are looking to do is spend the winters in S.C., and the summers in Oyster Bay, where our house is right now. The big decision, is where do we live when we come back to Oyster Bay. Should we move to a condo, buy a smaller house, or keep the one we have. The problem with having a house here in the winter is maintaining the snow removal, checking the house for broken pipes etc., all the things that go along with owning a house. It is really a tough decision also with grandkids. Our daughter lives in MA. Since we would no longer be working, we would probably visit them often. We don't really know what will be yet with our other 2 children.

 

[Eli Mairs]

Our two daughters moved back home when they finished university, while they looked for work.
When they landed jobs, they both bought pre-construction condos, and had to stay at home while saving for the downpayment. It was three long years before the condos were ready and they moved out.
We don't plan to downsize. Our house has too many memories, and too much "stuff" of sentimental value that I can't bear to part with.

 

[pcgirl54]

Another take on empty nesters!

Our youngest graduated this year. He moved back home to save money. In in 2 years or less we will be moving to Hilton Head. We are not old enough to retire but smart enough to live in a place we love. Two sons live in other states and all three have lives and careers of there own. None are married. All of the boys said home is where you are.

We live in DH family home where 11 children were raised. It is a giant house to clean, to heat and to repair. All siblings have moved to other areas. I am not keeping the house for their memories. I will be sad to sell but so happy to be in HHI.

My sons and future wives or children will be able to visit their parents and make new memories at the beach.

If we stay in the area a bit longer we can sell the house and rent until we relocate. Then there is no hassle at the end.

 

[GrayFal]

Our youngest graduated this year. He moved back home to save money. In in 2 years or less we will be moving to Hilton Head. We are not old enough to retire but smart enough to live in a place we love. Two sons live in other states and all three have lives and careers of there own. None are married. All of the boys said home is where you are.

We live in DH family home where 11 children were raised. It is a giant house to clean, to heat and to repair. All siblings have moved to other areas. I am not keeping the house for their memories. I will be sad to sell but so happy to be in HHI.

My sons and future wives or children will be able to visit their parents and make new memories at the beach.

If we stay in the area a bit longer we can sell the house and rent until we relocate. Then there is no hassle at the end.

PC - what a great plan!

AnnMarie - how are you going to actually get rid of your kids? :hysterical: Mine seem to be hanging around!

We live in a nice resort area, have a vacation condo and a co-op in NYC.
I would love to keep all 3 but don't know if it will be possible. We are looking at the possibility of doing some rentals to pay down our debt so that when retirement arrives in 7-9 years, all properties will be paid off - and our retirement plan is to TS for 12 winter weeks.....don't know if it will work but we keep tweaking as we go along.

 

[lprstn]

Hmm. Got me to thinking. Me and DH decided to keep the house until 2 years after the youngest graduates from College, and our plan is to pay for the kids to stay out of the house and grow up. That is, if they need $$ for rent here and there...well help them through the difficult times, but that is it. We have a huge house with a huge mortgage and it ain't no way we are keeping this up. We also have 2 rental properties and by the time we retire, hopefully we will still have 1 and it will be paid off as our home to retire in. The rest of the time will be 3 months TSing.

My Great Grandma kept her house in the family for 3 generations, only to have the cousin that ended up owning it sell it and move away. I refused to let a house stop me from living in the manner I wish to. Now if the kids want to purchase the house...they can.

 

[pcgirl54]

the flip side

Ann Marie,

You go with your plan for a year or two to see how that works so you don't regret selling. You can always sell the house later,put the money in the bank and rent in that location after a reasonable trial period. No snow removal or property maintenance if renting. Then if you decide to do something different or buy elsewhere you can without a house looming over your head.

I was a realtor and this was my advice to snowbirds as some regretted selling their home later on after living in Florida for 1-2 yrs. Then could not afford to buy the same type house when they moved back. Sometimes this happens as people have grandchildren. That also does not always work if your grown children move later on. Now you moved closer to them and they relocate.

For ex:

My parents lived in Mass most of their lives. When retired they moved to Clearwater Fl for 6 yrs then got sick of it and moved back for the grandkids. My father always regretted selling the original house because they now needed to buy another home at 3 times the price. They rented that house for 2 yrs before they sold the home which was a good trial period. The market skyrocketed a few years after they sold and Dad never got over that.
They moved back to Mass and bought in the town where my brother and I lived close to the grandbabies. My brother and I moved to other towns 5yrs later for varying reasons which left our parents in the town without us. I am only 6 miles from Dad but my brother is 45 minutes away. Our Mom passed away 6 yrs ago ,so Dad who is now 90 ,lives alone by choice. We work 50 miles away. My point is even under the best of plans moving to be near family does not always work as life and jobs change.

 

[Rose Pink]

My daughter graduated last spring and moved back home until she can save up enough to move out. She has a full-time job a few blocks from home so it is more convenient as well. I find that I enjoy having her here. She is feeling a bit blue about not being able to be out on her own. As long as she feels that way, I know she will eventually make it out of here so I don't worry about it.

As far as retirement plans to move, we don't have any. As pcgirl pointed out, there is no one perfect place for most folks. Wish my grandchild lived closer but my son is in the Navy and so moving closer to them would be an exercise in futility as they'll just get relocated every three years or so.

I love the Moab, Utah area and thought about moving there but it is not convenient to a major airport so that would make traveling difficult. DH is many years from retirement and we have to be near an international airport for his employment.

We are in the midst of a major remodel. The house is finally beginning to reflect our personality and style. The yard is beautiful after 16 years of work. However, when I get older and less able to physically manage things, I think it wise to move into a planned community, perhaps condo. I don't want to get so attached to my house that it becomes my sentimental prison. That is what has happened to my FIL. He just can't take care of his home and it is so run down and sorry-looking but he refuses to move out. He bemoans the dead grass, the weeds, etc but refuses to spend the money to get it repaired. I don't want to end up like that.

Our plan is to get out of debt and be mortgage-free. That financial freedom will allow us to move if we need to, travel when we want to, etc.

 

[Ann-Marie]

The two older children that I have moved out right after college. The oldest went to school in Mass, and got an apartment with a few of her friends. She then met her now husband, who works in MA, so they are now set in a house. My son wanted to live in NYC or Boston in the worst way. He got an apartment in NYC, and sold real estate until he got his current job. While selling, he bought himself a handy man special condo in Brooklyn. So he is set. My youngest, we really don't know where she will be headed.