Anyone have a surprise contact from 23 and Me or Ancestry.com DNA test?

[rickandcindy23]

My mom and birth father got divorced when I was about 4 and my sister was 1. My mom remarried almost immediately to my dad, who adopted me when I was about 10. I remember when my father visited to basically say goodbye before the adoption was finalized.

My birth father had three other kids with two additional women. One of his grandkids, so basically a half niece, contacted me to see how I was related. Since my grandma and my dad's mom were farm ladies and lived in the same small community, I met my grandmother when I was older, maybe when I was about 12. They stayed in contact. I knew a little about my father from my maternal grandmother. My mom told my grandma to butt out. Well, Grandma just let me know how many kids he had and their names, and that he was living about 10 miles from the house I grew up in.

Now a granddaughter of my birth father contacted me to see how I am related. The family didn't know that my sister and I existed, not at all. I am sure it is a shock to them to find out that their dad and grandfather had two more kids. The kids he had with his second wife were quite a bit younger.

Apparently, my father is okay with seeing his two oldest kids, my sister and me, but my sister said, "Yeah, no, I don't think I care for a man who gave us up as toddlers!" She was only about a one-year-old, so I get it.

Have you had an experience like this after a DNA test?

 

[Talent312]

A few years ago, DW was contacted by someone claiming to be a distant relate who "discovered" her via Ancestry. She wanted to "verify" DW's identifying information. Yeah, right. We suggested that she provide hers. She subsequently disappeared.
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I like the late comedian Louie Anderson's take on Ancestry:
They sent me back a report saying I was 20% Norwegian, and 80% Lard.
.

 

[rickandcindy23]

A few years ago, DW was contacted by someone claiming to be a distant relate who "discovered" her via Ancestry. She wanted to "verify" DW's identifying information. Yeah, right. We suggested that she provide hers. She subsequently disappeared.
---------------------
I like the late comedian Louie Anderson's take on Ancestry:
They sent me back a report saying I was 20% Norwegian, and 80% Lard.
.

Ancestry has a DNA test. If your wife took the test and sent it in, she would have a list of people who have some DNA matching.

 

[ScoopKona]

No. Because I'm never going to allow that. That kind of invasion of privacy is not acceptable -- and the fact that downstream relatives can [urinate] away everyone's privacy is chilling. I don't have any DNA out there in the world that I'm ashamed of. But damn the things that are happening in this arena absolutely insures I will never willingly take part in any of this.

I can't stand ancestry websites or genealogy in general.

“Kings built tombs more splendid than the houses of the living and counted the names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons. Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry or in high cold towers asking questions of the stars. And so the kingdom of Gondor sank into ruin, the line of kings failed, the white tree withered and the rule of Gondor was given over to lesser men. ” -- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

 

[rickandcindy23]

Rick's brother has a daughter in Ireland that we discovered through his 23 and Me test. We knew he was a bit of a womanizer, since he had a pretty famous band. I think there are a lot more kids than that one. He was never faithful to any of his wives.

 

[mentalbreak]

@rickandcindy23 Wow that’s a lot to process.

Not ancestry or 23 and me, but I recently had genetic testing specific to breast cancer. That messed with my head enough that I don’t ever see myself seeking out commercial DNA testing.

 

[Rjbeach2003]

I haven't had that many contacts through 23 and me, but one of interest is a woman in Missouri, and I live in Oregon. My mother was born in Wisconsin, her mother died when she was 5. Her Mom was the youngest of 5 sisters. After her mother's death she lived with her father, but after he remarried she was moved to lived with an aunt and uncle. When she was 12 she was sent to Olympia, WA, to live with two of her mother's sisters. After I was born, one of these Aunts was essentially my Grandmother. She had been married and had one son. He and my mother were good friends, and they remained friends until all passed on. I knew him well as well. This is a long prelude to my relative in Missouri. Turns out that the Aunt who raised my Mom was here great grandmother, whom she knew nothing about. She did know her grandfather, but really had little contact. Her Dad and Mom divorced when she was young and had little contact with her father after that. I was able to fill her in on quite a bit about her Grandfather, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. In my Mother's stuff I found pictures that I knew would be of no interest to my kids, so I packaged them up and sent them to her.
All that said I don't think I have seen anyone closer than 3rd cousin. Can always hope for more.

 

[Brett]

I did the 23andme primarily for the genetic health results - no surprise relatives or health issues

 

[geist1223]

According to my Mom's Oral Family History I was 1/8 Native American. 23andMe came back 100% Northern European. My Brother Mike believed 23andMe was wrong. He then had his DNA Test done through Ancestry. It came back 100% Northern European. When Members from both sides of the Family were gathered for Mike's Funeral my Mom's side of the Family provided the Name of the relative that supposedly was the ancestor that married a 100% Native American. At the time Patti was a Member of Ancestry. She signed on and did the research. It turned out that Named Person was a relative on my Mom's side of the Family and had married a woman that was 100% Native American. But they got a Divorce. He remarried to a Woman that was not a Native American and Mom's side of the Family descends from that Second Marriage.

 

[Passepartout]

I have a friend who was adopted. He found (and subsequently visited) his birth mother and some (?) half siblings. I recall that he got a notification through Ancestry.

Our daughter-in-law found that her birth father, who had abandoned her and her mother when she was very young, had subsequently fathered another family in another state. She and a half-sister have become a good bit closer. Perhaps closer than acquaintances, but not like sisters, if you catch my drift.

So, it happens. What one does with the information is up to them.

I can see some value, especially for adoptees, to get family health history as many illnesses 'run in families'.

Jim

 

[Sandy VDH]

According to my Mom's Oral Family History I was 1/8 Native American. 23andMe came back 100% Northern European. My Brother Mike believed 23andMe was wrong. He then had his DNA Test done through Ancestry. It came back 100% Northern European. When Members from both sides of the Family were gathered for Mike's Funeral my Mom's side of the Family provided the Name of the relative that supposedly was the ancestor that married a 100% Native American. At the time Patti was a Member of Ancestry. She signed on and did the research. It turned out that Named Person was a relative on my Mom's side of the Family and had married a woman that was 100% Native American. But they got a Divorce. He remarried to a Woman that was not a Native American and Mom's side of the Family descends from that Second Marriage.

If you watch any of the ancestry shows, they do find that there is a lot of claim of Native American, but in DNA analysis it rarely appears to be true.

 

[dougp26364]

So far, no, but then again I am likely the surprise or unknown person the birth family was ashamed happened.

I was adopted at birth. I’ve known the names of my birth parents since the ‘70’s but never really tried to find out anything about them. I recently took a DNA test through ancestry to find out where I came from region wise. A few of the sir names popped up and I reached out, just in case any of my birth family knew of my existence and might be curious about what happened to me. None of the closest matches have responded and the one who did respond, saying the closest match was her mother in law, hasn’t written back.

In some ways I suppose it’s a little strange, but then again I’ve never felt the urge to be a part of another family I’ve never known. Maybe someday a match will occur and……surprise, they’ll find the cousin, brother, half brother or uncle they never knew they had. If they ever want to know what became of me I’m an open book. As far as the what, where or why of my existence it doesn’t really matter to me.

 

[1Kflyerguy]

My wife and I both did 23andme, no big surprises for us. Though its been a long time since I logged in to check if anything new has been discovered.

We have some friends, and the husband did find a half sister that was completely unknown. Turns out hsi father had a child before he married our friends mother.

 

[dougp26364]

A few years ago, DW was contacted by someone claiming to be a distant relate who "discovered" her via Ancestry. She wanted to "verify" DW's identifying information. Yeah, right. We suggested that she provide hers. She subsequently disappeared.
---------------------
I like the late comedian Louie Anderson's take on Ancestry:
They sent me back a report saying I was 20% Norwegian, and 80% Lard.
.

I had something similar happen, but they were looking for information on a long lost relative and wanted to know if I had any information on that part of their tree. The connection was so slight that it would have been a very long shot that I’d have known anything, even if I hadn’t been adopted and know essentially nothing anyway.

 

[rickandcindy23]

My grandma didn't have Alzheimer's, but she was confused at the end of her life. She lived to 90. My father is around 90, and his granddaughter said he is fine.

I know his age because I have my birth certificates, both the original one and the adoptive one. Weird that they change birth certificates when you are adopted. Or is that even a birth certificate? I know his birthday is a few days after mine. I would have to go to the safety deposit box to get my birth certificate. I also have my mom's and real father's marriage license/ certificate.

 

[dougp26364]

My grandma didn't have Alzheimer's, but she was confused at the end of her life. She lived to 90. My father is around 90, and his granddaughter said he is fine.

I know his age because I have my birth certificates, both the original one and the adoptive one. Weird that they change birth certificates when you are adopted. Or is that even a birth certificate? I know his birthday is a few days after mine. I would have to go to the safety deposit box to get my birth certificate. I also have my mom's and real father's marriage license/ certificate.

I think this varies by state and date. For instance, you can’t get a census record until 72 years have passed. In states such as Missouri I don’t believe you can ever get the original birth certificate. My wife’s father was able to get his mother’s birth certificate in Kansas after her death. Her grandmother was one of a families children put up for adoption after a farming accident killed their father.

I was able to “accidentally” see mine when a family acquaintance was working in a state government building that held those records. Because mine was a private adoption, my parents had some information about why I was being put up for adoption.

Because I know the sir names of my birth parents, there really wasn’t any surprises as to the names that popped on my ancestry DNA test other than to confirm the stories and information I was given hold some truth.

 

[Sandy VDH]

I have my family tree "on Paper". Someone has done the research, and that is the children and families that we "know" about. Not sure I want to delve into what we don't know.

My dad's family tree goes back to 1422 and my mom's goes back to 1701.

 

[rickandcindy23]

I have my family tree "on Paper". Someone has done the research, and that is the children and families that we "know" about. Not sure I want to delve into what we don't know.

My dad's family tree goes back to 1422 and my mom's goes back to 1701.

My grandma had ours pretty far back. I assume my uncle has the information because I have not seen it. She noted that some of her great, great uncles were horse thieves in a passing comment to my sisters and me. My sisters and I still laugh about it.

 

[Laurie]

On a related topic, I saw this headline recently. It may be behind a paywall, but you get the gist from the title. No huge surprise to me; I've often suspected that since paternity is mis-reported so often, and rapes under-reported, many geneology records are suspect or downright false.

DNA Tests Are Uncovering the True Prevalence of Incest

People are discovering the truth about their biological parents with DNA—and learning that incest is far more common than many think.

www.theatlantic.com

 

[stmartinfan]

Our daughters are adopted from India. When we finalized their adoptions, they were issued new birth records from the state.

Minnesota just changed the law about birth records. The new law allows adult adoptees access to original birth records and affidavits of nondisclosure signed by birth parents will become invalid. It’s a pretty big step in opening up information to adoptees.

 

[SusanRN]

My sister and I did DNA testing 3 years ago through 23and me. She and her husband also did it through Ancestry.com, whose resources she now prefers. Our family can trace its lineage on both sides back to the 1500's in northwestern Europe. We were curious if DNA testing would verify where we thought our various branches came from. It seemed to.
But there can definitely be some surprises.
I was contacted through 23andme by a DNA second cousin whose father had been adopted and was seeking info about her bio parentage. We were able to provide that, as well as family photos. My generation had not known of the out-of-wedlock birth by the great aunt who lived across the country, but I imagine my grandmother did.
More shockingly, my BIL found out that his father was not his biofather, which was a surprise and quite disconcerting, since it meant that his mother had had an affair (with her boss) and he and the brother he was raised with were actually half siblings. He did say to my sister, however, that he had never quite felt he "fit in" in his family. Imagine finding that out when you are over 60 and both parents are deceased -- but maybe that part was for the better.
He tracked down and contacted three half siblings on his biofather's side. Two did not want to communicate with him, supposedly because they blamed his mother for breaking up their parents' marriage. [He thinks his father did not know; his parents were married at the time he was conceived and stayed married.] He has had cordial email conversations with the third new sibling. BTW, he and the three half siblings (actually, all four) are all very bright and highly accomplished in their respective fields. Of course, it helps that all were raised in high-income households.

 

[billymach4]

My Mother is half Chinese. We always knew that. But she never knew her biological father since she was placed in foster homes soon after birth.

This is what my 23andMe report indicates. "You most likely had a parent, grandparent, or great-grandparent who was 100% South Chinese. This person was likely born between 1870 and 1930."

Not really 100% sure but I don't get any hits on my maternal grandfather's side from South Chinese ancestry?
I get plenty of of hits on the other grandparent sides. Plenty from my father's side as well?

Not sure why there is a wide GAP on the South Chinese side of the DNA map? There is no shortage of population from that region of the world? I can understand that the DNA ancestry marketing companies may not have penetrated that market in China? However there have to be many immigrants in the west that would want to know their ancestral cousins?

Anyone have any other theories as to why I don't get any info from my paternal South Chinese side of the Tree?

 

[Limace]

My daughter’s BFF was adopted from China; her mom has shared that there is very little dna info uploaded into the databases we access here in the states.

My husband was adopted at birth-he had met his birth mom before she died but had never met a paternal relative until he did ancestry. During pandemic, he met his first paternal relative, a first cousin in his 80s. He’s a wonderful man who lives surprisingly close to us and he’s been able to share family pictures, including of DH’s dad.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[SusanRN]

On a related topic, I saw this headline recently. It may be behind a paywall, but you get the gist from the title. No huge surprise to me; I've often suspected that since paternity is mis-reported so often, and rapes under-reported, many geneology records are suspect or downright false.

DNA Tests Are Uncovering the True Prevalence of Incest

People are discovering the truth about their biological parents with DNA—and learning that incest is far more common than many think.

www.theatlantic.com

I subscribe. The article says that a DNA researcher in the U.K. found that about 1 in 7,000 people there are a product of a first-degree (parent-child, sister-brother) or second-degree (uncle-niece, grandfather-granddaughter) relationship. I can't imagine the U.S. is much different...pretty discouraging.

 

[WaikikiFirst]

If your wife took the test and sent it in, she would have a list of people who have some DNA matching

wait, wait, wait, they do this? Well, my interest in any of those services just went from zero to deeply negative.
Is it optional to let them send your name around if you pay for the test?