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Advice From a Retired Husband

MuranoJo

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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.




EDITOR'S NOTE:

Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-women jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

My DH (who took early retirement while I continue to slave away) forwarded this to me. He has such a sense of humor.
 

Passepartout

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Sure glad I don't play golf- and always look where I sit. Now if it had been a 9' G loomis 5 wt, this might hit a little close to home.

Jim
 

ace2000

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Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-women jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Sounds like she's available. Can anyone provide her contact info?
 

Talent312

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ht_sexist_label_dm_110306_wblog.jpg
 

MuranoJo

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Jim, good strategy, as I think the Loomis may have been a bit less painful.

Ace, sorry, I don't have her contact info. Last I heard, she took all his life insurance money and is mourning on a beach somewhere. Her friends say she's getting somewhat bored with the poolside service of 20-something men.

Talent--obviously that tag was sewn by ex-retired (and ex-married) men working in the garment industry?
 

ScoopKona

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I think it would be a dandy idea to halt semi-misogynistic jokes entirely. In fact, just ban jokes altogether. I haven't read one joke here, ever, that was funny. Not one.
 

pjrose

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I think it would be a dandy idea to halt semi-misogynistic jokes entirely. In fact, just ban jokes altogether. I haven't read one joke here, ever, that was funny. Not one.

I, too, would like to halt this type of joke, or those offensive to anyone or not PG-rated (I'd say PG-13, but what's considered PG-13 now would have been R awhile ago)

[edited to add: on further consideration, I don't think this was offensive; it is potentially offensive to men, but it's clearly a parody. I was grossed out by Ron's demise, as pointed out below, but that's my own squeamishness]

Actually it's not the joke itself that I didn't like - it's a pretty decent parody - but the graphic nature of Ron's demise.

I wouldn't ban jokes, though. I have read some really funny ones. Just can't remember them.......

Scoop, I've never laughed at any joke as hard as I laughed at your (presumably real) rant on Costco!
 
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Passepartout

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Better to just ban people without a sense of humor. What faction would be offended by the above? Retirees? Golfers? Working women? Juries?

Jim. Retiree who's DW works (her choice). Fisherman.
 

Ridewithme38

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Better to just ban people without a sense of humor. What faction would be offended by the above? Retirees? Golfers? Working women? Juries?

Jim. Retiree who's DW works (her choice). Fisherman.

Change the Main Character from a Women to a man and see if the joke still flies...i've had trouble in the past on this forum with doing just that
 

pedro47

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This is a thread I will not touch with a ten foot pole.
 

presley

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Hilarious!!!
 

Passepartout

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This is a thread I will not touch with a ten foot pole.

Shucks. And I only have a 9' rod. Being the stay-at-home house husband/cook/dog's doorman while my social butterfly DW comes and goes as she wishes, I had no trouble flipping the gender of the principals. Still funny.

Consider the subject dropped as far as I am concerned.

Jim
 

ampaholic

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This is a thread I will not touch with a ten foot pole.

Neither would I - oh crud, I just touched it. Eeeeeoooowwwweeee!
 
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