About To Lose My Job

[WinniWoman]

Well, here I am- almost 62 years old. In my 13th year and the worst job I have ever had. Finally got to a point where I could coast a little bit and the company gets acquired by a management company.

Not to get into all the gory details, but they stick a guy I have worked with and known here for years in the top mgmt. position. From day one- he blocks me from our friendship on Facebook. He begins to over - exert his authority, I presume to let it be known to me that he is now my boss and he is not going to be pliable in any way, shape or form. Every email he sends to me he CC's the COO of the new company. He uses everything he knows about my opinions of various things related to the job against me. His tone in his phone calls and emails is like a knife sticking into my gut. I get annoyed with him- he writes me up immediately. I have never been written up in my entire life, nor have I ever been fired. He has his "pet" employee in the office with us writing up our conversations. OMG- I can't take it...

I am now more than uncomfortable. He assigns me a task he knows is making me miserable and so very unhappy, with an unrealistic expectation and deadline. He also fires a 55 year old woman who has been there for 14 years- someone he never liked, but has been loyal to the company. He puts one of his "pets" into her position.

I start to get the picture. I decide there is age discrimination involved here. The new company probably wants a high energy, younger person with some of the latest marketing technology ideas. They want someone at their beckon call- ra ra and all that jazz. Wants to work 80 hours a week and no life.

I am convinced he is trying to make me quit or find grounds to fire me.

So- I decide it is time to be proactive when I told him he was harassing me and his back went up and he said he is contacting the owners. I demanded the contact info for the human resource person and spoke to her at length about age discrimination and harassment and also about this man's past- which I won;t get into here but you would not believe it if I told you it is so crazy. Two of the things show his perception regarding my age and also there is a witness I named to it.

Since then, he is being cordial to me at least.

So at this point, the COO has sent an email to us saying she wants to address my work flow and also high tech marketing ideas sometime next week in a meeting.

The past 6 weeks have been hell for me. I find myself crying. I am so unhappy. I had 3 years to go until I could get Medicare and retire- figured I could take SS at 66- but I am just not going to make it.

I was sure they would fire me this week and was actually looking forward to the relief, but it didn't happen.

So- I have contacted a lawyer and am going to have to work on a lengthy questionnaire tomorrow. I do not want to keep my job. I just can't do it anymore and work in this situation knowing what they are trying to do to me. The only point of me getting a lawyer is to maybe get me out of the job with some kind of severance and my PTO days. Someone to do the talking for me as I get emotional and start to cry. I am afraid to try to negotiate a resignation. The other woman that they fired and was there 14 years got 6 weeks severance- but she forgot to ask about PTO days and she mistakenly signed the papers before she thought it through. At least she will also get unemployment. If I am not fired I will not.

I am not sure if I should even continue with this stupid project he has me doing as I want to blow my brains out every day doing it - it is torture for me.

I want to be out by April 1st one way or another. Or at least give notice by then or get fired by then. I haven't slept in weeks and I am in a constant nervous state. I am so done.

 

[silentg]

This is awful. I too was working in a hostile environment. I talked to hr and they told me I could take early retirement. Since I was having a constant struggle with a co worker. I resigned as soon as they said I was eligible. I really liked my job and most everyone in my office. But I did not feel safe with my co worker. Who I could have had fired, but the possibility of retaliation was more of a concern for me.
I hope things work out for you. BTW my coworker stayed an extra two years after me and retired. Never had to be confronted about the hostle atmosphere that was caused. Crazy World!
Silentg

 

[VacationForever]

Oh, Mary Ann, I am so sorry to read this. Not much to offer except lots of virtual hugs. This really sucks and you are doing all the right things to support your position against what this guy and what the company are doing to you.

When things are down in my life, I tell myself ithat at least I am healthy and alive. Please keep your chin up. Do something nice for yourself. Nice hot bubble bath. Have some chocolates with strawberries etc, whatever you love.

 

[Passepartout]

I'm with the above TUGgers in supporting you. It's tough having to work in a hostile environment. Keep notes on anything and everything. Make a friend in HR. And, of course your TUG family will listen and send TUG hugs.

Best!

Jim

 

[Tank]

That's awful , so sorry anyone would have to go thru anything like this.
Lack of respect and only getting worse.
God bless you and keep you safe. Good luck !

As karma bites the ass of those in need.

 

[stmartinfan]

So sorry to hear about your crummy work environment. Good decision to hire an attorney. Most companies don't want the expense and visibility of fighting an age discrimination suit, so that should help you in getting a fair exit package.

 

[WinniWoman]

This is a very small company as companies go. The HR person evidently doubles as a project manager. She is out in another state- I am thinking she probably works from home. For all I know, she is the COO's sister.

When speaking to her she had no "affect". She was like a flat line in a cardiac unit.

 

[DaveNV]

There are federal laws that protect people from discrimination in the workplace. Your lawyer should be able to provide help with that.

Hang in there. If you walk away, they win. Make them pay for it.

Dave

 

[pedro47]

This is not good news. Please document everything that this supervisor says to you (dates & time) do not share this information with HR or your co-workers; only with your lawyer . Please have this person to put their negative comments in an email form and you must print them out and saved every negative email comments. Take your negative emails home and do not discuss this problem with your fellow employees.
I am Wishing you peace of mind and good luck.

Do not quit, then you would be unable to collect unemployment benefits.

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Well, here I am- almost 62 years old. In my 13th year and the worst job I have ever had. Finally got to a point where I could coast a little bit and the company gets acquired by a management company.

Not to get into all the gory details, but they stick a guy I have worked with and known here for years in the top mgmt. position. From day one- he blocks me from our friendship on Facebook. He begins to over - exert his authority, I presume to let it be known to me that he is now my boss and he is not going to be pliable in any way, shape or form. Every email he sends to me he CC's the COO of the new company. He uses everything he knows about my opinions of various things related to the job against me. His tone in his phone calls and emails is like a knife sticking into my gut. I get annoyed with him- he writes me up immediately. I have never been written up in my entire life, nor have I ever been fired. He has his "pet" employee in the office with us writing up our conversations. OMG- I can't take it...

I am now more than uncomfortable. He assigns me a task he knows is making me miserable and so very unhappy, with an unrealistic expectation and deadline. He also fires a 55 year old woman who has been there for 14 years- someone he never liked, but has been loyal to the company. He puts one of his "pets" into her position.

I start to get the picture. I decide there is age discrimination involved here. The new company probably wants a high energy, younger person with some of the latest marketing technology ideas. They want someone at their beckon call- ra ra and all that jazz. Wants to work 80 hours a week and no life.

I am convinced he is trying to make me quit or find grounds to fire me.

So- I decide it is time to be proactive when I told him he was harassing me and his back went up and he said he is contacting the owners. I demanded the contact info for the human resource person and spoke to her at length about age discrimination and harassment and also about this man's past- which I won;t get into here but you would not believe it if I told you it is so crazy. Two of the things show his perception regarding my age and also there is a witness I named to it.

Since then, he is being cordial to me at least.

So at this point, the COO has sent an email to us saying she wants to address my work flow and also high tech marketing ideas sometime next week in a meeting.

The past 6 weeks have been hell for me. I find myself crying. I am so unhappy. I had 3 years to go until I could get Medicare and retire- figured I could take SS at 66- but I am just not going to make it.

I was sure they would fire me this week and was actually looking forward to the relief, but it didn't happen.

So- I have contacted a lawyer and am going to have to work on a lengthy questionnaire tomorrow. I do not want to keep my job. I just can't do it anymore and work in this situation knowing what they are trying to do to me. The only point of me getting a lawyer is to maybe get me out of the job with some kind of severance and my PTO days. Someone to do the talking for me as I get emotional and start to cry. I am afraid to try to negotiate a resignation. The other woman that they fired and was there 14 years got 6 weeks severance- but she forgot to ask about PTO days and she mistakenly signed the papers before she thought it through. At least she will also get unemployment. If I am not fired I will not.

I am not sure if I should even continue with this stupid project he has me doing as I want to blow my brains out every day doing it - it is torture for me.

I want to be out by April 1st one way or another. Or at least give notice by then or get fired by then. I haven't slept in weeks and I am in a constant nervous state. I am so done.

Maryanne, I'm so very sorry to hear this...This is my biggest worry, I need to work till I hit 65 for the medicare and to make retirement work... I'm going to be 57 this year and hope the company I work for does not sell out or change ownership... I wish you nothing but the best...Working in a hostile environment causes so much stress...much love

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Well, here I am- almost 62 years old. In my 13th year and the worst job I have ever had. Finally got to a point where I could coast a little bit and the company gets acquired by a management company.

Not to get into all the gory details, but they stick a guy I have worked with and known here for years in the top mgmt. position. From day one- he blocks me from our friendship on Facebook. He begins to over - exert his authority, I presume to let it be known to me that he is now my boss and he is not going to be pliable in any way, shape or form. Every email he sends to me he CC's the COO of the new company. He uses everything he knows about my opinions of various things related to the job against me. His tone in his phone calls and emails is like a knife sticking into my gut. I get annoyed with him- he writes me up immediately. I have never been written up in my entire life, nor have I ever been fired. He has his "pet" employee in the office with us writing up our conversations. OMG- I can't take it...

I am now more than uncomfortable. He assigns me a task he knows is making me miserable and so very unhappy, with an unrealistic expectation and deadline. He also fires a 55 year old woman who has been there for 14 years- someone he never liked, but has been loyal to the company. He puts one of his "pets" into her position.

I start to get the picture. I decide there is age discrimination involved here. The new company probably wants a high energy, younger person with some of the latest marketing technology ideas. They want someone at their beckon call- ra ra and all that jazz. Wants to work 80 hours a week and no life.

I am convinced he is trying to make me quit or find grounds to fire me.

So- I decide it is time to be proactive when I told him he was harassing me and his back went up and he said he is contacting the owners. I demanded the contact info for the human resource person and spoke to her at length about age discrimination and harassment and also about this man's past- which I won;t get into here but you would not believe it if I told you it is so crazy. Two of the things show his perception regarding my age and also there is a witness I named to it.

Since then, he is being cordial to me at least.

So at this point, the COO has sent an email to us saying she wants to address my work flow and also high tech marketing ideas sometime next week in a meeting.

The past 6 weeks have been hell for me. I find myself crying. I am so unhappy. I had 3 years to go until I could get Medicare and retire- figured I could take SS at 66- but I am just not going to make it.

I was sure they would fire me this week and was actually looking forward to the relief, but it didn't happen.

So- I have contacted a lawyer and am going to have to work on a lengthy questionnaire tomorrow. I do not want to keep my job. I just can't do it anymore and work in this situation knowing what they are trying to do to me. The only point of me getting a lawyer is to maybe get me out of the job with some kind of severance and my PTO days. Someone to do the talking for me as I get emotional and start to cry. I am afraid to try to negotiate a resignation. The other woman that they fired and was there 14 years got 6 weeks severance- but she forgot to ask about PTO days and she mistakenly signed the papers before she thought it through. At least she will also get unemployment. If I am not fired I will not.

I am not sure if I should even continue with this stupid project he has me doing as I want to blow my brains out every day doing it - it is torture for me.

I want to be out by April 1st one way or another. Or at least give notice by then or get fired by then. I haven't slept in weeks and I am in a constant nervous state. I am so done.

Print Out or email to yourself all emails that are hostile or show that you are being treated unfairly. My friend had this happen to her at her company. She had been there 20 years and a new company came in and started doing everthing possible to make her quit, she documented and printed everthing out and when it went to court she won and in addition to the nice settlement the former company also had to pay all of her attorneys fees...document everthing...

 

[Iggyearl]

Mary Ann - not to be facetious, but your age may work to your benefit in this case. No company wants to get hauled to court for age discrimination. If you can keep your cool, and try and take the emotion out of this, it can work to your advantage. As recommended, keep good records. If you don't have a BFF at work - don't look for one now. Vent with your husband. Or vent here on Tug.

Every company that changes hands wants to "improve performance." That means thinking differently and cutting the "dead wood." In many cases, "heads need to roll." But in may cases THAT is not legal. If you've made it this far, you can make it further. If they don't want you - let them buy you out. That is, get them to give you something for your years of service. Maybe up to and including paying for your health insurance until you can get Medicare.

By the way, I do know where you are coming from. I got fired in 1988. After 13 years of being VP of a manufacturing company. Threw up every morning for over two months. Survived. Prospered. You will too...... Best wishes.

 

[Talent312]

For those contemplating early retirement (even if involuntary):
DW whines about how much my age-62 retirement cost us for health insurance.
I remind her that a partial lump-sum from my pension paid off our mortgage, so...
And besides, the value of one's mental health is priceless.

 

[WalnutBaron]

Mary Ann, I own a business where we love to show appreciation for all of our team members. We're tough when we have to be, but that occurs for non-performance or being late to work. Our CFO just turned 65 today, and we hope he stays on the job for at least another five years. Our Plant Manager is 64. I echo DaveNW's advice: Hang in there. Don't quit. Do your best to keep a stiff upper lip and do all you can to do the work assigned to you. You've given management notice that you're aware of age discrimination laws, and apparently the word has gone out to your boss. As tough as this is, make them fire you and then let your lawyer take it from there.

I'll give you one more piece of what I hope will be encouraging news: the economy is so good right now that companies are looking for people in their 60's to get work done. People in their 60's are more loyal, have experience, and seek to please.

 

[vacationhopeful]

I was laid off in the late 1982 ... months away from qualifying for a DEFINED PENSION .. just months short of a 10 year vested pension. I was ANGRY but took a subsided offered to ALL laid off people. I was 1 of 2 people, out of a thousand or more laid off former employees, who took that plan.... go back to any qualified college program based on length of former employment.

I got my MBA ... where the separation package was "90% tuition and books paid for plus 50% of my former salary with health care included for 1 year". Had no student loans and had enough time to CHILL, adjust my attitude and redirect my energy. Next job I got, was a corporate contract consultant ... a percentage rate consultant at a top 20 company where I counted my hourly rate as ALL PROFIT for 3.5 years. Invested the money ... and have NOT worked in 'structure job' for anyone but myself since 1988. Yes, 30 years ago. I brought real estate.

Am I happy? Yes... most days. I know I sleep well at night. I enjoy life.

Best thing that ever happened to me? Who knows ... I know I made it worked for me. I go to work everyday ... out of bed before 6AM ... because my work day has me leaving the house by 6:45AM. A schedule is always needed .. selfemployed or punching a time clock.

My best advice to you ... cry ONLY at home. Practice that smile ... a full grin is good. Even a quiet laugh & chuckle. Never frown ... causes wrinkes. Set a self-inprovement goal(s) ... lose weight, take a language, learn to cook French food, to to Europe, volunteer for a "Habitat for Humanity" project ... make a MUST DO list ... do not sit home watching TV or surfing the internet.

 

[heathpack]

Aw this sounds terrible. I hope when it all shakes out you’ll find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe you can move on with a better QOL.

But I agree with others posting above- listen to your lawyer. The company I’m sure is somewhat afraid of a lawsuit, so leverage that as best you can.

 

[Panina]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you.

I know the feeling. I had a terrible co worker at one of my jobs that wanted me out. It was a terrible environment but I stuck it out just doing my best. Fast forward, I stood until I retired. In time things got better and the co worker was gone.

Maybe you can take a medical leave of absence, stress related to distance yourself for awhile.

 

[jackio]

I have no further words of wisdom, but am sending my best wishes for a positive solution when you part ways.

 

[dsmrp]

Very sorry for your job situation. I agree with the others to give mgmt as little cause as possible to fire you. Don't resign. Document what you're working on: time spent, status, issues preventing progress, risks etc.

If he tells you things, decisions and other important items verbally, but never in email, then write him an email stating what you heard him say and ask him to clarify if you mis-stated. Be factual; try to keep reactions, emotions and assumptions out of it. I know it's hard, but if you can't, then don't email.

I had a director who was very well known for never sending any decisions in email, always coming by someone's cube to talk to them. A co-worker who had worked with this mgr for several years would email him his verbal decisions so she would have a record of what she thought he said. It wasn't that the director was doing this to get rid of us; he just didn't want anything in writing coming from him

There may be a bit of age discrimination where I work, but it is very hard to prove.

 

[easyrider]

Good Luck Marry Ann !!! You should ask for a raise and an extra paid week off before you go.

Bill

 

[TUGBrian]

so very sorry you are in that position i hope it works out!

 

[Bwolf]

Talk to your lawyer about unemployment. Document the hostile work environment. I've heard that if you are forced to quit you may still be able to collect unemployment. Your lawyer should be able to guide you in that direction.

Also, you should ask for more than the pittance severance your coworker got. Develop a strategy with your lawyer. Asking for one year is not unreasonable. Settling for a 6 months severance is ok. Again, your lawyer will know what is a reasonable strategy and settlement.

And, Maryanne, good luck.

 

[pedro47]

Also, if you are terminated for causes. Please file for Unemployment Insurance asap. If you are denied Unemployment Insurance (and I am praying this will never happen if you are terminated & I am praying things can be resolved peaceful on your job). Please file an Appeal, if you are denied Unemployment Insurance . This will cause an Unemployment Hearing Officer to review your case and to make an UIS determination. There is a third step in the appeal process in most states and I will explain later.

I am wishing you peace of mind and please do not discuss your problems with co-workers.

 

[loosefeet]

I have done all kinds of things (scrubbing toilets, cleaning floors, working in an iron mine, etc) as jobs. Many jobs were not nice places to work. But, I have a mantrum when I'm not happy with the work--I am doing good by doing work, and I am getting paid! I try not to invest so emotionally in a job--only if the environment allows me to also be supported emotionally do I open up. So, do your project, sing a song in your head, go home and be grateful for the money. On the other hand, if you run into difficult people, don't engage beyond what you need to--and document if they are making your job difficult. Good you have a lawyer. However, slow and steady (and unemotionally) to make your case. If you want a job where you are liked and appreciated, cut ties when you can and move on. Otherwise, you may be practicing your mantrum until you retire. You may not have the power to change the current work environment--you may only have the power to make choices in how you respond.

 

[GrayFal]

There are federal laws that protect people from discrimination in the workplace. Your lawyer should be able to provide help with that.

Hang in there. If you walk away, they win. Make them pay for it.

Dave

I am with Dave.
Do what your lawyer says.
Do your job even if it is difficult.
The fact that you have a stellar record with this company prior to the takeover is greatly in your favor and your lawyer will negotiate a deal for you.

Stay strong and hugs