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A TUG Fairy Tale

T_R_Oglodyte

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One day longtime TUGger (and moderator extraordinaire) DeniseM dies of an overdose of happiness and bliss while sitting on her lanai at Kauai Beach Villas. The overdose occurs as Denise has by now accumulated ownership of 17 ocean front weeks at Kauai Beach Villas; she was pushing the limits of happiness and she pays the price, expiring with the most gorgeous smile on her face.

In her will, though, she leaves instructions that those 17 weeks are to be divided among three other loyal KBV-owning TUGgers as follows:

- half to BMWguynw
- one-third to jacknjara
- one-ninth to nygiants11991

The three of them, however, cannot figure out how to divide up the deeds among themselves, and the thread where they are trying to figure it out turns all nasty and cranky.

Finally AlanCole can't take the crankiness and bickering any longer, so he offers to settle things, and the others take him up on that. So Alan adds one of his el cheapo RCI points eBay specials to the pool to make 18 timeshares in total, and tells them each to take their share, and he'll just take whatever is leftover. BMWguynw takes nine ocean front KBV weeks and is happy. And jacknsara takes six ocean front KBV weeks and is happy. Finally nygiants11991 takes 2 ocean front KBV weeks and is happy.

Alan smiles and keeps the el cheapo RCI points week he had in the first place, but some thought they heard him muttering something into the mouthpiece of the horn he just bought on eBay, under his breath, about those silly young TUGgers.
 

DeniseM

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OH MY! When the heroine dies at the beginning of the fairy tale, that's NOT what I call a happy ending! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Can't I turn into a Hawaiian mermaid, or Menehune, and live happily ever after in my Hawaiian fairy tale and never return to reality? :D
 

heathpack

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Wait? DeniseM died?! I thought it was Whitney Houston. Or are you saying DeniseM was Whitney Houston? I had no idea. No one ever tells me anything.

Should this post be moved to the sightings board?

H
 

Talent312

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I dunno what drugs you'all been takin', but I'd sure like some of those.
 

pjrose

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Of course each of the lucky heirs will have to pay real estate taxes, inheritance taxes, income taxes, transfer fees, title search fees, and, of course maintenance fees, making the final value of each interval about $1.00 on eBay :wave:
 

ampaholic

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The reports of the demise of Denise are premature - she was actually taken up in an alien ship with 4 whales cruising off of Kauai. The aliens are the ones from Cocoon and set Denise and the whales up in luxury on their home planet where all the homes overlook a great whale watching spot.

:cool: :cool: :cool:
 

artringwald

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DRI: The Point at Poipu, 3 deeded weeks, 1 of which is in The Club.
The reports of the demise of Denise are premature - she was actually taken up in an alien ship with 4 whales cruising off of Kauai. The aliens are the ones from Cocoon and set Denise and the whales up in luxury on their home planet where all the homes overlook a great whale watching spot.

:cool: :cool: :cool:

So, you've been reading Fluke by Christopher Moore?
 

MuranoJo

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OK, so the KBV oceanfront is pretty much taken, what does it say in her will about who will get the Starwood oceanfront ownership? Enquiring Vultures want to know.

(And I thought I heard a horn blowing sadly into the ocean breezes, somewhere in the distance, but I reckon it was my imagination.)
 
Last edited:

DaveNV

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Wait, wait! Let's go back to the part where I get nine weeks at KBV... :clap: :clap: :clap: Cool! (Sorry, Denise. Sucks that you had to expire so I could get these. Is there any part of your Will that also pays the maintenance fees? Yikes!)

Dave, blown away at Steve's, er, Denise's generosity...
 

scrapngen

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Don't you know that the Starwood properties are rented in perpetuity to pay the MF's on the KBV villas. The leftover is used by Alan to buy yet another horn or to refurbish. And breville mini-pie makers for all TUG loungers..:p
 

pjrose

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Don't you know that the Starwood properties are rented in perpetuity to pay the MF's on the KBV villas. The leftover is used by Alan to buy yet another horn or to refurbish. And breville mini-pie makers for all TUG loungers..:p

I assume the rentals are at least double, if not triple or quadruple the MFs :p

Every timeshare kitchen should come equipped with a Breville mini-pie maker AND a Zoku popsicle maker, along with the needed ingredients!
 

scrapngen

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I assume the rentals are at least double, if not triple or quadruple the MFs :p

Every timeshare kitchen should come equipped with a Breville mini-pie maker AND a Zoku popsicle maker, along with the needed ingredients!

Exactly...The Starwood rentals cover Starwood MF's, AND the KBC MF's with the extra suitably spread around. Denise is very generous in her will..:rofl: (and I am so sorry you were offed in this thread, but as you know, in all the stories, the "Mom" dies...)

I think the boiled pizza ingredients are carefully hidden inside the villas - secret handshake unlocks the safe...

There might also be a storage closet onsite with the proper mattresses and linens from Vancouver...not to mention that the bathrooms are accessorized beautifully with a bamboo/green collection..it's the little touches that only Denise would add to make it special.. :)
 

T_R_Oglodyte

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I assume the rentals are at least double, if not triple or quadruple the MFs :p

Every timeshare kitchen should come equipped with a Breville mini-pie maker AND a Zoku popsicle maker, along with the needed ingredients!

Don't forget the Keurigs!!!
 
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