[2011] Who else has the personality type that can't get rid of guilt on vacation?

[dmharris]

Maybe I'm the only one, but I have a heck of a time getting rid of the guilt when I'm relaxing on vacation. Maybe it's my childhood Catholic upbringing. Maybe it's my personality type. I just struggle feeling I should be DOING something productive. My husband thinks I'm crazy. Anyone else struggle or have overcome this struggle? What have you found that helps? Thanks!

From the Grande Ocean resort,

 

[BocaBum99]

Don't worry. After the first week, the guilt subsides. After 3 weeks, it's completely gone.

 

[dmharris]

But I only have one week!! I need the speed-demon version! Is that an oxymoron? Speed-demon vacation guilt-reliever?

 

[wptamo]

My issue is to get rid of work!! I leave my cell number and often have to do support work... uggghhhhhhhhhh

 

[rickandcindy23]

I feel guilty!

-About our grown kids not being able to be with us, when we go anywhere.
-Leaving the cats behind. This is my biggest concern.
-If I don't get the house spotless before I leave. That puts a lot of pressure on me to practically spring clean before leaving. I apparently worry that my stepdad, who takes care of our cats, will think I am a slob.
-Leaving my stepdad to answer our business phone, which is very busy during the fall (we are leaving on Friday). He is a saint, truly he is.
-Our neighbor shovels our walks, even though he does it without asking and it's not expected.
-I shouldn't even plan this many vacations. It's a burden for Rick to get the time off of work, which means double shifts at the firehouse. He likes the time off, but he doesn't like the payback of working double shifts.

 

[Numismatist]

I feel guilty about the amount of money I'm spending...especially when I get back home

 

[DeniseM]

You will NEVER seen this on a Tomb Stone:

I wish I had worked more

 

[Chrisky]

Maybe I'm the only one, I just struggle feeling I should be DOING something productive.

From the Grande Ocean resort,

You are doing something productive. You're giving your mind and body a break from the stresses of work.
We've learned over the years that we have to take care of our well-being before we can take of anyone else. I'm sure we've all heard stories of people saying,"oh, I just can't leave work, who'll do it" or "I'll travel and do things when I retire" and then something tragic happens and there go all the travel plans. You know, everyone is replaceable, even a CEO or President.
So, no, we didn't feel guilty about taking vacations when we were working, never left a cell phone number or contact number at work, only family members had a number to call in case of family emergencies. Now that both DH & I are retired, we travel as much as we can.

 

[rickandcindy23]

Leaving pets is so difficult, which is why we never got another dog.

The cats are hard enough to leave, especially our little gray tabby cat, who has to have canned food every day. He won't eat anything but one kind of Fancy Feast, and he eats two of those per day, so my stepdad has to come over twice, morning and night, to feed that critter.

 

[AwayWeGo]

I Resemble That Remark.

I feel guilty!

I have the kind of conscience that declares me Guilty till proven Innocent.

Shux, I still have guilt feelings over stuff I did when I was 5 years old.

The only redeeming feature is that over the years my character has generally been on an improving trend -- never mind that there is still loads of room for more improvement.

That's lots better then if I had been a man of all-round sterling character when I was young, only to have worsened over time into a case-hardened, industrial-strength S.O.B.

So it goes.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​

 

[Big Matt]

I feel guilty every day that I work because I'm not spending enough time at home.

Work is a means to an end with me. I love my work and own my own company, but wouldn't do it if I could afford not to.

 

[BocaBum99]

You will NEVER seen this on a Tomb Stone:

I wish I had worked more

For that reason, I think I will order one that says that.

 

[rosebud5]

Are you kidding? I feel guilty when I'm not on vacation.

 

[neash]

I understand the OP's feelings because I feeel that way myself. The guilt may not be just about work, because I am thankful to get a few days off work, but all sorts of other guilt
- guilty about not using the opportunity to experience the place if I just sit and read or watch movies, the need to do something constructive, even if it means just driving around the sights, or cooking a meal. I feel guilty that my precious time off was wasted and I could have done better with my time.

It has taken me a lot of self training to get over that feeling, just let go, and just be.

 

[dmharris]

No I'm not kidding, Rosebud. You're lucky. I think this is a real problem I'm dealing with. I see I'm not the only one. Chrisky you offer some realistic thinking that I need to focus on and not the guilt.

 

[rickandcindy23]

Having a boss that makes you feel guilty is tough, too. My old boss at Metrolist (MLS for Denver Realtors) gave me a major guilt trip for taking a few days off to take my kids and their friends to a marching band competition out of state.

She scolded me before I went, then when I got back, and again when I quit that job.

I guess it's because I told her what I was taking the two days off to do. Had I said I was sick, perhaps she wouldn't have been so offended.

 

[geekette]

I have a bigger problem with guilt if I am home and avoiding chores.

Sunday football is a good example. I think I heard weeds growing taller and leaves mocking me on their fall from the trees yesterday. I wasn't working and I wasn't outside.

But on vacation? no guilt. not with work. not with family. not with house/chores.

I EARN vacation time while I'm in the workforce; I am entitled to it, and I am entitled to enjoy it. which I do a lot more now that vacation doesn't mean cleaning out the garage or helping a friend move. I would still have crappo vacations were it not for timeshares. I feel that I'm worth it.

It's a time to really recharge, even if that means sleeping late and not moving off the balcony all day.

It will probably be even sweeter when I'm retired because I likely won't be so run down to need to catch up on sleep.

I would feel only a little guilty if I didn't see/do/etc all I planned to in a foreign country, but I'm not a big scheduler, not interested in filling every day, every hour, having an agenda, so my list is usually attainable. I go with hazy plans of seeing this and doing that. It comes together or it doesn't, no stress, no guilt. I hit as much as is reasonable and don't beat myself up for not running myself ragged. If I'm not relaxed and enjoying it, then it isn't worth it.

I travel domestically most of the time, so, No Problem!

I do miss my dog a lot when I'm gone, but I always make sure she is with someone that she and I both trust, so it's kind of like "camp" for her. No guilt!

Guilt leads to drama, and I don't need that in my life.

 

[BevL]

But I only have one week!! I need the speed-demon version! Is that an oxymoron? Speed-demon vacation guilt-reliever?

You will NEVER seen this on a Tomb Stone:

I wish I had worked more

Basically you're making your vacation worse than work.

I work a lot, work at home so am never "away from work" unless I am "away from my home." I absolutely feel guilty if I am doing anything but work when I am home, even chores, frankly.

But the minute I get in the car to head off the airport, I feel great.

Also, to me, feeling guilty about work is different than worrying about work. When I had a professional practice, I always worried when I went away because whether I was there or not, the buck stopped on my desk if there was a problem. Now that I don't have those type of work issues, I don't worry OR feel guilty.

 

[dioxide45]

Leaving pets is so difficult, which is why we never got another dog.

The cats are hard enough to leave, especially our little gray tabby cat, who has to have canned food every day. He won't eat anything but one kind of Fancy Feast, and he eats two of those per day, so my stepdad has to come over twice, morning and night, to feed that critter.

We have a cat, but thankfully he isn't hooked on wet cat food. Only dry for him, so he can go a couple days between visits. We still feel bad because he is a cat that likes a lot of attention, he is waiting at the door for us every day when my wife and I return home from work. And he follows us everywhere when we return from a vacation. He is a very needy kitty.

People at work always complain that I am always away on vacation and we always get the "you're going on vacation again?" line. We don't get any more time off than anyone else, we just opt to use it to get away instead of spending our time off sitting at home.

 

[Chrisky]

Are you kidding? I feel guilty when I'm not on vacation.

Absolutely!

 

[heathpack]

No guilt. Zero zip nada.

I get called from work almost every day of my life. The only time I don't get called (usually) is if I'm away. It is bliss.

I do keep up with emails, texts, and the like, otherwise I will be completely buried when I get back. But unless its something that can't wait, the email reply will just say, "I am away, solve your problem in some other manner, or get back in touch after X date."

H

 

[AwayWeGo]

I Resemble That Remark.

Also, to me, feeling guilty about work is different than worrying about work.

Back when I used to work for a living, I would worry (a little) that if I was away on vacation too long, they might catch on that they could get along OK without me.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​

 

[rickandcindy23]

Back when I used to work for a living, I would worry (a little) that if I was away on vacation too long, they might catch on that they could get along OK without me.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​

Yes, that is the biggest worry. :rofl:

 

[dmharris]

I'm self-employed so I think this plays into it. (no paid vacation). I also think women are more prone to guilt than men, so it is interesting to see some men come forward admitting they deal with guilt. But it goes beyond work. I just can't stop. I feel guilty by sleeping in, walking on the beach because it's not productive. Chrisky's words needs to be in my head as I deal with this. Also Neash has nailed what I'm dealing with exactly.

 

[glypnirsgirl]

I used to feel so guilty that I just went ahead and worked while I was on vacation. Some days I would put in a full 8 hour day.

Once I got cancer, I was off of work for 4 months and my office only called me occasionally. I realized that I was not essential to taking care of my clients - as long as my clients are being taken care of, I am happy.

I have been taking off one week every other month now for a little over a year. Yep, went from 2 weeks of vacation that I worked during to 6 weeks a year that I really take off.

It is better for me physically, emotionally ... not so hot financially.

elaine