- Joined
- Jul 13, 2015
- Messages
- 7,061
- Reaction score
- 10,612
- Location
- Florida
- Resorts Owned
- Hgvc Anderson
Have you planned what to do if you can't care for yourself as you age? CCRC is one option.
Taking care of my mom, who's in her 90s, has been quite a challenge. She's mobile but can be paranoid and stubborn, which complicates things. My sister doesn't help, she long ago distanced herself. There is no one else that would help my mom if I didn't because of her abusive nature. I often think who will help me when I get older as I have no biological children of my own. Even if I did I would not want to be a burden on them.
This past year brought some health scares for me, making me think about my future. I have a niece and a stepdaughter from my ex, and my fiancé has two kids. I really doubt any of them would be much help when I get older. Yes they would call, maybe visit occasionally but their generation (all in their 20's) is different then older generations. I am happy when they are self sufficient and thriving and worry about their future too. I’ve seen how their moms are, and I wouldn’t want them getting advice about me from them.
I trust my fiancé would take care of me, but what if he’s not around? Plus, if my sister is around, she might argue with him about everything as when we purchased a house together she said you should leave your half of the house to family, meaning hers plus I don't trust her decisions.
So, I'm wondering how to prepare if a time comes I can't take care of myself without being a burden on anyone else. I ultimately want to choose my potential path of growing older on my terms and where I want to be.
My curiosity sparked when my mom asked me to look into independent living communities. I visited a bunch and tried to share my findings with her, but she changed her mind after hearing from her sisters that they’re just places for old folks to wait to die.
Honestly, some of these places felt a bit sad, like a place you wait to die but a few, very few, were vibrant and active. I learned a lot! Some were rentals, while others were CCRCs (Continuing Care Retirement Communities that have an entrance fee) where you could get everything you need on one campus, like Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, and Long-Term Care.
Here's where it gets tricky, a bit like timeshares. CCRCs can be "A," "B," or "C." The "B" and "C" types often make claims that aren't quite accurate. You have to read the fine print in the contract to know the truth.
An "A" CCRC offers higher levels of care, if you ever need it, at the same monthly fee (plus incidentals) as Independent Living. You have to be even careful with this type too as one high end place claimed they were a pure "A" but after reading the contract if the second person in the household needed to go to long term care and you resided in the home alone you would be charged an addition $7800 over your monthly fee. This is way more than incidental charges. They also did not have assisted living on campus so if you needed this type of care and were not eligible for long term care you can hire help for yourself in your home from them that you pay for on top of your monthly fee.
A "B" CCRC gives a discount for higher levels of care, but it ends up being much more than the Independent Living monthly fee. For example one place had assisted living but if you needed long term care they chose the place for you and they only provided $2000 a month and you were responsible for the rest.
A "C" CCRC means you pay the regular rate for higher levels of care.
Salespeople for "B" and "C" types push the idea that you shouldn’t pay more for services you might not need. It reminds me of those sketchy timeshare sales tactics. Most of us over 65 will likely need more care at some point, plus, "A" CCRCs were often more affordable than "B" and "C" types, partly because of their not-for-profit status versus profit status. Every "A" I visited had a benevolent fund to ensure you'd still be cared for if you ran out of money out of no fault of your own.
For all types, the entrance fee $ return if you move out of the community or if you pass, ranges from your you/your estate receiving nothing back to up to 90% back. For those having an amount back many only went up to 50%. For those offering money back the entry fee was much higher sometimes almost double. Just putting the difference in the bank you can in many scenarios over the years accumulate more from investment. What the percentage money back option protects you from is if you are unhappy and want to move you will have equity. Usually the calculation is 5% is taken off the top as an administrative fee and than the % amount is calculated but,and this is a big but, most stipulate they have either have two years to give you the money or you have to wait until they found another person who wants your unit.
So far, I've seen just one community I’d consider moving to sooner than later. The average age there is in the early 70s. Other communities I checked out had average ages in the mid 80s. This one felt like living in a luxury resort, multiple pools, pickleball, an art center for shows, 7 restaurants, movie theatre, high end exercise room, fitness classes, learning classes, art studio, wood shop, stained glass studio, local trips, vacation trips, the list goes on and on, all renovated modernly.
I’ll take my time to learn everything I need to make a smart choice. Just like with timeshares, it’s important to know what you’re getting into, read the fine print—when it’s good, it’s great, and when it’s bad, you’ll wish you hadn’t signed up!
Taking care of my mom, who's in her 90s, has been quite a challenge. She's mobile but can be paranoid and stubborn, which complicates things. My sister doesn't help, she long ago distanced herself. There is no one else that would help my mom if I didn't because of her abusive nature. I often think who will help me when I get older as I have no biological children of my own. Even if I did I would not want to be a burden on them.
This past year brought some health scares for me, making me think about my future. I have a niece and a stepdaughter from my ex, and my fiancé has two kids. I really doubt any of them would be much help when I get older. Yes they would call, maybe visit occasionally but their generation (all in their 20's) is different then older generations. I am happy when they are self sufficient and thriving and worry about their future too. I’ve seen how their moms are, and I wouldn’t want them getting advice about me from them.
I trust my fiancé would take care of me, but what if he’s not around? Plus, if my sister is around, she might argue with him about everything as when we purchased a house together she said you should leave your half of the house to family, meaning hers plus I don't trust her decisions.
So, I'm wondering how to prepare if a time comes I can't take care of myself without being a burden on anyone else. I ultimately want to choose my potential path of growing older on my terms and where I want to be.
My curiosity sparked when my mom asked me to look into independent living communities. I visited a bunch and tried to share my findings with her, but she changed her mind after hearing from her sisters that they’re just places for old folks to wait to die.
Honestly, some of these places felt a bit sad, like a place you wait to die but a few, very few, were vibrant and active. I learned a lot! Some were rentals, while others were CCRCs (Continuing Care Retirement Communities that have an entrance fee) where you could get everything you need on one campus, like Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, and Long-Term Care.
Here's where it gets tricky, a bit like timeshares. CCRCs can be "A," "B," or "C." The "B" and "C" types often make claims that aren't quite accurate. You have to read the fine print in the contract to know the truth.
An "A" CCRC offers higher levels of care, if you ever need it, at the same monthly fee (plus incidentals) as Independent Living. You have to be even careful with this type too as one high end place claimed they were a pure "A" but after reading the contract if the second person in the household needed to go to long term care and you resided in the home alone you would be charged an addition $7800 over your monthly fee. This is way more than incidental charges. They also did not have assisted living on campus so if you needed this type of care and were not eligible for long term care you can hire help for yourself in your home from them that you pay for on top of your monthly fee.
A "B" CCRC gives a discount for higher levels of care, but it ends up being much more than the Independent Living monthly fee. For example one place had assisted living but if you needed long term care they chose the place for you and they only provided $2000 a month and you were responsible for the rest.
A "C" CCRC means you pay the regular rate for higher levels of care.
Salespeople for "B" and "C" types push the idea that you shouldn’t pay more for services you might not need. It reminds me of those sketchy timeshare sales tactics. Most of us over 65 will likely need more care at some point, plus, "A" CCRCs were often more affordable than "B" and "C" types, partly because of their not-for-profit status versus profit status. Every "A" I visited had a benevolent fund to ensure you'd still be cared for if you ran out of money out of no fault of your own.
For all types, the entrance fee $ return if you move out of the community or if you pass, ranges from your you/your estate receiving nothing back to up to 90% back. For those having an amount back many only went up to 50%. For those offering money back the entry fee was much higher sometimes almost double. Just putting the difference in the bank you can in many scenarios over the years accumulate more from investment. What the percentage money back option protects you from is if you are unhappy and want to move you will have equity. Usually the calculation is 5% is taken off the top as an administrative fee and than the % amount is calculated but,and this is a big but, most stipulate they have either have two years to give you the money or you have to wait until they found another person who wants your unit.
So far, I've seen just one community I’d consider moving to sooner than later. The average age there is in the early 70s. Other communities I checked out had average ages in the mid 80s. This one felt like living in a luxury resort, multiple pools, pickleball, an art center for shows, 7 restaurants, movie theatre, high end exercise room, fitness classes, learning classes, art studio, wood shop, stained glass studio, local trips, vacation trips, the list goes on and on, all renovated modernly.
I’ll take my time to learn everything I need to make a smart choice. Just like with timeshares, it’s important to know what you’re getting into, read the fine print—when it’s good, it’s great, and when it’s bad, you’ll wish you hadn’t signed up!
