What do you do with your parents' things?

[WinniWoman]

I kept 1 or 2 very small momentos and some practical items like some mixing bowls and glasses I could use and had a liquidator come and empty my parents' entire house. Tried selling a few things-estate sale, ebay, facebook, etc.-but wasn't worth it- got nothing.

As it is we have thrown out plenty of stuff from our own house in anticipation of moving someday and also because most of it is unnecessary crap that I don't want our son to deal with when we pass. Just need to get hubby on board with his stuff in the garage, but he has made some progress.

I am into a simple lifestyle and almost a shaker like home. Easier to keep clean. Less tiring to look at.

 

[WinniWoman]

In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
-----------------------
I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
Ever since I sold my DW's ancient waffle iron for $1, I'm forbidden.
Even though I replaced it with a new one.

.

When we put stuff out it disappears within an hour where we live!

 

[SmithOp]

I live in the area where they film Storage Wars, I see Dave Hesters Yuuuuuuup truck in the neighborhood all the time, never been in his store.

You could put it all in storage then stop paying, like a timeshare viking ship...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

 

[DaveNV]

I live in the area where they film Storage Wars, I see Dave Hesters Yuuuuuuup truck in the neighborhood all the time, never been in his store.

You could put it all in storage then stop paying, like a timeshare viking ship...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

HAHAHAHA! I like that idea!!

Dave

 

[AnnaS]

Last year hubby's mom passed (dad passed 7 years prior). We had a ton of things to go through. We saved most of the pictures. Any pictures of the kids, grandkids - we toss them out. We have our own/same pictures given to them. She had a ton of religious items/pictures, etc. I kissed them all and tossed them. There was no way I could keep all she had. I did keep one or two statues/in my garden. Some furniture stayed with the new owners. Donated some and tossed out the rest. Clothing donated. knick knacks, dishes, etc. Some donated, some tossed and some in boxes for a possible future yard sale. We did keep an item here and there but we really have no room/space in our own home. We also kept some papers - birth certificate/army papers, etc.

My mom passed three years ago (dad passed 7 years ago too). We are now selling the house - we had a tenant in for the last three years but the basement is full of her things. We are doing the same thing. Saving all pictures from many years ago. All of us siblings want to share/divide some old pictures of them and my sister (also passed). Saving significant papers again. Donated, tossed and kept some things. Just way, way too much to keep. Siblings made one trip after she passed to see if they wanted anything. So much new/good stuff. We are hoping to split some either to keep or also future yard sale........just no room to put it all...........it's so sad

I told hubby one day our kids will do the same and toss it all out. We buy, save, don't use, buy and it all adds up.........

 

[DaveNV]

We buy, save, don't use, buy and it all adds up.........

That's the story at my house. Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff. But I still have the old stuff. I'm not sure what to do with it all. For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems. I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them. I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices. First world problem, most certainly.

Dave

 

[Panina]

That's the story at my house. Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff. But I still have the old stuff. I'm not sure what to do with it all. For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems. I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them. I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices. First world problem, most certainly.

Dave

Laptop, try Goodwill, we have donated our old computer stuff to them.

 

[klpca]

In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
-----------------------
I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
Ever since I sold my DW's ancient waffle iron for $1, I'm forbidden.
Even though I replaced it with a new one.

.

That's what I would have expected but I've had great luck getting rid of odds and ends this way. I recently put some leftover ceramic tile on the curb for free. It had been in our garage for over 20 years. We were on the way to take friends on a brewery tour and everyone laughed about my optimism in getting rid of it but it was gone when we returned. It was probably 6 tiles - can't believe anyone wanted it but I'm happy that it's in their garage, not mine.

 

[Glynda]

When we put stuff out it disappears within an hour where we live!

Here too. It's a tradition for some to ride around checking out the streets the late afternoon/evening before trash pick-up day.

 

[bluehende]

That's the story at my house. Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff. But I still have the old stuff. I'm not sure what to do with it all. For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems. I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them. I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices. First world problem, most certainly.

Dave

Here we do have electronics recycling. We take it to our local landfill where is it located.

 

[bbodb1]

Laptop, try Goodwill, we have donated our old computer stuff to them.

Be very careful to erase, reformat and thoroughly wipe the hard drive before doing this!

 

[Panina]

Be very careful to erase, reformat and thoroughly wipe the hard drive before doing this!

Yes, always have, a must

 

[vacationhopeful]

Anyone want to bet what is in the family house bult in 1702 ... one room on the 3rd floor is call "The Chair Room". It has always been the room where any broken wood chair was taken to await repair. Even my 93yo aunt has no name atteched to WHOEVER had slept there. Even she .. born in the house, knew of NO ONE who slept in that room (with 10' ceilings and at least 16x16 room size). And then there is all the relatives who slept in which room and who passed in which room.

But then there are the funerals held at the house. The living room where the deceased would be laid out for the both the evening viewing and the service the next day. I was in 3rd grade for my first at-home funeral (great-grandmother) and a college freshman, when my grandmother passed, etc.

 

[stmartinfan]

I think there is an organizing guru who advises asking a couple of basic questions about your “stuff” when cleaning...something like..Is it used? And Does it bring you joy? She then advises expressing your thanks to the items that get a no and ridding yourself of them.

It sounded odd to me when I first read a summary of it, but I think it's useful in dealing with items like your mother's. You've already discovered what brings you joy...like her old cutting board...and the rest of the stuff doesn't rate a yes to the questions. So you should have no guilt it letting it go.

I'm getting to that point with many items I brought from my mother's home. A few bring me joy in my memories of her using them, but for many, time has dimmed the memories and they are just things that I have no use for or any remaining sentimental attachment. I do think allowing yourself time to discover what will be meaningful long term is helpful and you appear to have already done that.

 

[bbodb1]

Jumanji?

Seriously though, if those walls could talk imagine the stories they could tell. It's in situations like this where some written history of a house would be a worthwhile treasure.

 

[DaveNV]

Anyone want to bet what is in the family house bult in 1702 ... one room on the 3rd floor is call "The Chair Room". It has always been the room where any broken wood chair was taken to await repair. Even my 93yo aunt has no name atteched to WHOEVER had slept there. Even she .. born in the house, knew of NO ONE who slept in that room (with 10' ceilings and at least 16x16 room size). And then there is all the relatives who slept in which room and who passed in which room.

But then there are the funerals held at the house. The living room where the deceased would be laid out for the both the evening viewing and the service the next day. I was in 3rd grade for my first at-home funeral (great-grandmother) and a college freshman, when my grandmother passed, etc.

I can't imagine having that sort of family history in one place. Would be amazing to try and figure out all the relatives who had come and gone there.

Dave

 

[klpca]

I think there is an organizing guru who advises asking a couple of basic questions about your “stuff” when cleaning...something like..Is it used? And Does it bring you joy? She then advises expressing your thanks to the items that get a no and ridding yourself of them.

This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it. Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!

 

[DaveNV]

This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it. Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!

I've heard of the technique, and I may have to try it. In the case of my Mom's things, I think my hesitation is coming from a place of "what if?" it has significant meaning to someone else. But as I say, it's been 22 years since Mom passed, I'd expect if there was anything in great demand from others, they'd have said something by now.

We'll see how it goes. My sister came yesterday and brought a dozen boxes of Mom's things I didn't know were even still around. I thought these things were long gone. Collectibles and family heirloom things and such. Turns out Sis has been hanging on to them, so we siblings could go through them later on. Yikes! It's all sorts of things. And she didn't bring the trunk with her, which is too full to move by herself. Makes me wonder what has been put back into the trunk I don't know about. This is turning into something much bigger than I'd expected.

Dave

 

[Jan M.]

I've heard of the technique, and I may have to try it. In the case of my Mom's things, I think my hesitation is coming from a place of "what if?" it has significant meaning to someone else. But as I say, it's been 22 years since Mom passed, I'd expect if there was anything in great demand from others, they'd have said something by now.

We'll see how it goes. My sister came yesterday and brought a dozen boxes of Mom's things I didn't know were even still around. I thought these things were long gone. Collectibles and family heirloom things and such. Turns out Sis has been hanging on to them, so we siblings could go through them later on. Yikes! It's all sorts of things. And she didn't bring the trunk with her, which is too full to move by herself. Makes me wonder what has been put back into the trunk I don't know about. This is turning into something much bigger than I'd expected.

Dave

Whoa, didn't see that coming! Sneak drop off. And the pink trunk is still to come. Time to take those pictures and email them to anyone even remotely related to you even if it isn't their parent. At this point I would only give them 6 months. You don't need the clutter in your life or the stress it brings from having to look at it. You might not identify what you feel regarding all this stuff as stress but on some level it is.

 

[DaveNV]

Whoa, didn't see that coming! Sneak drop off. And the pink trunk is still to come. Time to take those pictures and email them to anyone even remotely related to you even if it isn't their parent. At this point I would only give them 6 months. You don't need the clutter in your life or the stress it brings from having to look at it. You might not identify what you feel regarding all this stuff as stress but on some level it is.

I know, right? All these years I thought I had it figured out. Turns out I was very wrong. I think stuff that was pulled out to send to other relatives never quite made it out the door, and as my Sis moved, she repacked stuff. No wonder she wants it out of her house now.

I've taken everyone's advice, and already scheduled a weekend next month for my Sister and my daughter to come help me sort through this stuff. I told my daughter whatever doesn't go that weekend will be donated, one way or the other. My daughter's response was, "We don't have a big house, but we'll do what we can." She's a good daughter, who loved her grandmother a lot. I think this may work out okay.

Dave

 

[vacationhopeful]

The county historical society printed a book on the family linage. I am listed as 10th generation New Jersey-ite.

 

[DaveNV]

The county historical society printed a book on the family linage. I am listed as 10th generation New Jersey-ite.

I think that's great! I have a book my great-something-or-other uncle put together back in the 1920s, tracing my paternal grandfather's lines back a long ways. Through his mother's line, I think it stops in the 1500's in London. There are lots of anecdotal stories along the way, containing snippets of folklore about the family. (e.g. Fairmount Park in Philadelphia is supposedly on land an ancestor leased to the City, but the lease was never recorded, [conveniently], so when the lease expired, the City kept the land.) My daughter has been doing a lot of genealogy research on Ancestry, and has taken those lines even further back. It's crazy to think of that amount of continued lineage. Pretty interesting, actually.

Dave

 

[Karen G]

My daughter has been doing a lot of genealogy research on Ancestry, and has taken those lines even further back. It's crazy to think of that amount of continued lineage. Pretty interesting, actually.

Dave

It is amazing to think of all the ancestors each of us had. Consider the following, and I'm talking just about biological ancestors:
Each of us has two biological parents. Each of them had two parents so we have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents etc. If you keep multiplying the number by two and you figure an average of about 25 years between each generation, then in just 500 years there would have been 1,048,576 people beginning the production of YOU!

 

[sun starved Gayle]

This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it. Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!

I read the Japanese book. She says you should throw out everything that does not "bring you joy". My toilet plunger does not "bring me joy", but when you need it, you need it ! I liked "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" better. She makes a lot more sense to me. She refers to herself as "somewhere between 80 (I think) and 100". She was both sensible and amusing.

 

[DaveNV]

It is amazing to think of all the ancestors each of us had. Consider the following, and I'm talking just about biological ancestors:
Each of us has two biological parents. Each of them had two parents so we have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents etc. If you keep multiplying the number by two and you figure an average of about 25 years between each generation, then in just 500 years there would have been 1,048,576 people beginning the production of YOU!

Whoa! I had never thought of it that way. That's one big family reunion!

And that's just biologics. Factor in adoptees, remarriages, "raised by" and whatever else, and the numbers are off the charts.

Dave