What do you do with your parents' things?

[Patri]

Hubs has tons of tools (neighbors say better than Ace Hardware that you can borrow) - kids & grandson get first choice, then the guys in the cul-de-sac get what they want and the rest goes to a thrift store.
We have this all written down and attached to the specific items in our Will(s). I do not want my kids to have to spend a month to clean out my place someday and feel guilty that they do not want our stuff. They have their own stuff!

Your neighbors must love you. We just updated our wills, but I did not list anything specific to go to each child. They can work that out among themselves. They have nicer furniture than I do, and plenty of stuff too, so I imagine they will donate or sell most of our household items. I should have given them most of their childhood memorabilia by the time I kick the bucket. I wait until they buy their first house, so they will stay put for a while, and have the room to put the BOXES of stuff I assumed they would want to keep. I hope they at least go through it before throwing it.

 

[DaveNV]

We have this all written down and attached to the specific items in our Will(s). I do not want my kids to have to spend a month to clean out my place someday and feel guilty that they do not want our stuff. They have their own stuff!

You need to come live at my house for a few months. I could use the help!

Dave

 

[bluehende]

Did anyone else have a mother that would come back from yard sales and thrift stores with a ton of stuff she bought for a quarter. She would then turn to me and say whatever you do when I'm gone don't sell this stuff at a yard sale for a quarter. She always thought her junk was valuable. Technically I did what she said as I donated it for nothing. Of course when I see her in the after life I imagine I will be in my usual doghouse.

 

[DaveNV]

Did anyone else have a mother that would come back from yard sales and thrift stores with a ton of stuff she bought for a quarter. She would then turn to me and say whatever you do when I'm gone don't sell this stuff at a yard sale for a quarter. She always thought her junk was valuable. Technically I did what she said as I donated it for nothing. Of course when I see her in the after life I imagine I will be in my usual doghouse.

My Mom loved garage sales, both buying and selling. She'd go "garagin' " on the weekends with my Aunt, and come home with a carload of crap she couldn't live without. Stuff would accumulate until she decided she needed to have a garage sale of her own. Then she'd spend days setting up a sale, washing and folding clothing, cleaning up knickknacks and whatever, then labeling every item with a sales price. She had no idea what she had, or whether things were worth anything. On the day of the sale she'd throw caution to the wind, made crazy deals with people ("I'll let you take this entire box of clothes for 50 cents!") and at the end of the exhausting day, might make twenty or thirty dollars.

I never saw the point of it. I dislike buying second hand (except timeshares.) Once I'm done with something I don't want, I'll give it away. Come to think of it, I do that with timeshares, too.

Dave

 

[mdurette]

Dave,

One thing I'd suggest - take some photos of the stuff. Especially those items you are not sure about. If in doubt, discard it BUT at least with photos (or scans of papers) you'd still have some way to view these items. It is hard to know today what might be valuable tomorrow to you from the standpoint of personal meaning. Photos (or scans) at least allow your to still view these items.

This was my thought also.....

 

[Jan M.]

My Mom loved garage sales, both buying and selling. She'd go "garagin' " on the weekends with my Aunt, and come home with a carload of crap she couldn't live without. Stuff would accumulate until she decided she needed to have a garage sale of her own. Then she'd spend days setting up a sale, washing and folding clothing, cleaning up knickknacks and whatever, then labeling every item with a sales price. She had no idea what she had, or whether things were worth anything. On the day of the sale she'd throw caution to the wind, made crazy deals with people ("I'll let you take this entire box of clothes for 50 cents!") and at the end of the exhausting day, might make twenty or thirty dollars.

I never saw the point of it. I dislike buying second hand (except timeshares.) Once I'm done with something I don't want, I'll give it away. Come to think of it, I do that with timeshares, too.

Dave

It was a cheap enough and entertaining hobby for her. Got her out of the house and talking to people. All things considered not that bad.

A couple who are friends of ours told us that they and his sister have been helping their father get rid of their mother's stuff after she died in May. Over 60 big garbage bags of stuff so far and they aren't done. A lot of it was years worth of buying clothes and purses that she never wore or used and still had the price tags on. And she didn't have cheap taste either. They've found over $2k in bills she left in her pockets of the clothes and purses she did wear/use.

 

[DaveNV]

It was a cheap enough and entertaining hobby for her. Got her out of the house and talking to people. All things considered not that bad.

Not criticizing my Mom at all. And I agree - it was cheap entertainment for her. But it turned me off to buying second hand. Between her garage sales and my older brother outgrowing his clothes, I rarely had anything brand new until I left home. I never considered how much it affected me until one time someone asked me if I wanted to go to a Swap Meet with them, and I asked "Why?" He looked at me like I had two heads. I guess I didn't inherit the garage sale gene.

Dave

 

[bbodb1]

.... I guess I didn't inherit the garage sale gene.

Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
No....thank....you!

 

[DaveNV]

Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
No....thank....you!

You need to come sit by me. LOL!

Dave

 

[Panina]

Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
No....thank....you!

I look at garage sales the way I look at timeshares. I am looking for an exceptional buy, a needle in the hay stack. I don’t go often but enjoy when I do.

 

[bbodb1]

You need to come sit by me. LOL!

Dave

I look at garage sales the way I look at timeshares. I am looking for an exceptional buy, a needle in the hay stack. I don’t go often but enjoy when I do.

Dave!

I don't think Panina will be joining us!

 

[DaveNV]

Dave!

I don't think Panina will be joining us!

Just means there are more goodies for her to buy. I'm good with that.

Dave

 

[Panina]

Dave!

I don't think Panina will be joining us!

Just means there are more goodies for her to buy. I'm good with that.

Dave

Your both making assumptions. Maybe I would find both of you more interesting then a garage sale. Tuggers vs garage sale, that is an easy one

 

[bluehende]

Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
No....thank....you!

Here it is usually May which is actually some of the nicest weather. We go occasionally because my wife enjoys it and I use the opportunity for a nice walk. I enjoy looking but have all the junk I need so rarely buy anything other than hardware to have on hand or a tool that I do not have. Like others it was one of the few times I could get my mother out of the house the last few years. She would fill up the car for a few bucks and had fun doing it. I know she enjoyed buying things for me that I tossed as soon as I got home. Quality time with mom.

 

[DaveNV]

Your both making assumptions. Maybe I would find both of you more interesting then a garage sale. Tuggers vs garage sale, that is an easy one

Thank you. I'd like to think I'd be more interesting than a garage sale. But if you (or anyone else) wanted to drop by one, I'd have no objections. I'd wait in the car.

Dave

 

[nkldavy]

For the "just stuff" that's left ... why not burn and put the ashes on mom's grave rather than into the garbage? She'll have her stuff again.

 

[bbodb1]

Somehow, as I call it a night here and think back to this thread, this just feels appropriate:

Good night all.

 

[slip]

Dave, you need to do a poll on here to see if your more interesting than a garage sale.

I think you have this down. Get rid of what you don’t want and then you are done. Then remember, if someone asks about something years later, Your standard answer is, no, I never saw that.

 

[klpca]

Dave re: your mom's cutting board. "Things" like those are the best. My grandparents gave us their old camping coffee pot...probably 25+ years ago. It is easily 60 years old. It has gone on every camping trip since they gave it to us, and we talk about them every time we use it. It's probably made of tin and looks worthless, but it is beyond valuable to us. We think of how many camping trips it's seen...both their trips and ours. It's traveled all over the western US and has been to many of the national parks, helping all of us start our days in the forest. It's a little link from them to us, from the past to the present.

I love that you have your mom's cutting board. What a special gift.

 

[DaveNV]

For the "just stuff" that's left ... why not burn and put the ashes on mom's grave rather than into the garbage? She'll have her stuff again.

Interesting idea. Not sure how the cemetery would feel about that. But I like the idea.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave, you need to do a poll on here to see if your more interesting than a garage sale.

Umm, nah. Don't think so. I might not like the answer. As it stands, I can do my Sally Field impression: "You like me! You really like me!"

I think you have this down. Get rid of what you don’t want and then you are done. Then remember, if someone asks about something years later, Your standard answer is, no, I never saw that.

Or my other favorite response: "Oh, that was YOURS?"

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave re: your mom's cutting board. "Things" like those are the best. My grandparents gave us their old camping coffee pot...probably 25+ years ago. It is easily 60 years old. It has gone on every camping trip since they gave it to us, and we talk about them every time we use it. It's probably made of tin and looks worthless, but it is beyond valuable to us. We think of how many camping trips it's seen...both their trips and ours. It's traveled all over the western US and has been to many of the national parks, helping all of us start our days in the forest. It's a little link from them to us, from the past to the present.

I love that you have your mom's cutting board. What a special gift.

Just exactly that. Thank you. It's nothing much, but it was hers. And now it's mine.

I have a few things that are not worth a nickel but that mean so much to me. My Grandfather had a stone quarry on leased State land up in the mountains east of where I live. It produced a very interesting kind of igneous rock he always called "Shuksan Greenstone." It was used as a decorative rock on the outside of buildings, and later as the stones they used in dry saunas, since it wouldn't explode from the heat or when water was splashed on it. The more it weathers, the greener it gets. I have no idea of the real name for it, but it's very neat to see. I helped Grandpa split stone many times up there over the years, working to load the back of his old 1950s-era Ford pickup with a half-ton or more of the split stone. We'd haul it down the mountain and unload it at a local building materials yard. I built a lot of muscles loading and unloading that stone for him. He died in 1987 when I was still in the Navy in San Diego, and there was nobody to work the quarry any longer, so it reverted back to the State.

When I bought my house fifteen years ago, one of the first things I did was go up to the quarry, or what remains of it, and loaded the back of my own truck with a dozen pieces of the stone. They sit along the sidewalk near the front porch of my home. Every time I see it, I think of my Grandpa. He was one of a kind, and I loved him dearly. This stone is nothing, really, but to me, it's everything.

Sometimes I think the true value of something is what it means to the person who has it, and not necessarily what it might sell for.

Dave

 

[jehb2]

To make it easy on yourself, take the stuff out of the original trunk. Put the items in a cardboard box. The kind of box you use to move your belongings. Tape the box shut (as if you were moving). Put the box in your garage for six months. After six months throw out the entire box (don’t open it of course).

 

[Talent312]

In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
-----------------------
I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
Ever since I sold my DW's ancient waffle iron for $1, I'm forbidden.
Even though I replaced it with a new one.

.

 

[lockewong]

We are somewhat struggling from this in the reverse - with three kids, over the years we kept stuff we thought they might want. Of course, that turns out NOT to be the case....
Every time we try to address this, none of the kids are in a position to take very much so we just hold on to stuff for another year.
As time goes by, I can also see the possibilities of them not wanting some of the stuff they said they would want coming to fruition.....
Oh well....

What do you do with a bunch of stuff animals anyway?
And (now older but still functions) electronics?
And.....

We live in an area that has workshops to repair electronics or schools that use electronics to take apart and teach how these items work. Maybe a school or trade school would have use. As for the stuffed animals, I am hoarding a bunch and wonder if a shelter or an agency that helps foster children might appreciate the newer and cleaner ones. As for the items from the parents...may be have everyone over for a final sort and "Goodbye" and then, make it clear that it will go to Goodwill or any thrift shop that is nearby.