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Respecting our safe place tug

Discussion in 'TUG Lounge' started by Panina, May 26, 2019.

  1. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Elite TUG Member

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    A long time tugger was reaching out asking for our prayers and ended her post with “So, please don't anyone turn this into a political debate”.

    I offered my prayers and left it at that. Unfortunately it did turn political and the thread was shut down thus sadly our friend lost the support she was reaching out for.

    I personally consider TUG a safe place for all of us to be able to go without dealing with political stuff. I love the policy that TUG does not allow political posts. Here on TUG our common interests bond us is a very special way.

    As tempting as it is, I will always respect the boundaries of TUG.
     
    mdurette, jackio, Glynda and 11 others like this.
  2. klpca

    klpca TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I agree completely.
     
    CanuckTravlr, TUGBrian and b2bailey like this.
  3. b2bailey

    b2bailey TUG Member

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    I want to say thank you to those who responded in a manner which provided the comfort I needed in the moment when I was writing and reaching out. It was almost like having someone hold my hand. Now I realize this is my first crisis I've had to face alone -- since my husband's passing -- and he wasn't here to hold my hand.
     
  4. dioxide45

    dioxide45 TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I am not sure that it turned political, but it was undoubtedly a contentious social issue that seems to be gripping the nation at this point. Ultimately it was always destined to be closed at some point given the topic that it was in reference to.
     
    Glynda and TUGBrian like this.
  5. pedro47

    pedro47 TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Panina, I agree with you completely. TUG should be a safe place to post.
     
  6. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Elite TUG Member

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    Many of us are here to hold your hand. I so understand your loss as I lost my husband too. You can always reach out privately to me. Hugs.
     
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  7. bbodb1

    bbodb1 TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I read this thread before I read the other.

    After reading the other, how do you accomplish this:
    What does it even mean, Pedro? (And I ask that seriously, not sarcastically or derisively..)
    Do we simply acknowledge the limits of our subjects and move on from there or do events in life sometimes force us to (re)examine our bounds here?

    As much as we are drawn here by our shared interest in TS, we are also all human beings who are, have, or will be subjected to life's events. For the most part, our little part of the internet here is frequented by a (somewhat) regular cast of folks - folks we get to know as time goes by. I like hearing about the good things that happen to our group here but at the same time I hope I'm here to help when things aren't so good in whatever way I can.

    I guess what I am trying to say here is I realize TUG (our little corner of the internet) wants to avoid the mention and discussion of some topics so this board does NOT turn into what so many other boards have become. But as we become more familiar with each other, it is only natural we will try and comfort our fellow TUG'gers through the hard times (most of the time that is TS related, but not always).
    These goals seem to be at conflict (at odds) with each other.

    Perhaps I am just overthinking this...I don't know.
     
  8. bbodb1

    bbodb1 TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    Let me offer a voice of support to you in a difficult time as well and here's hoping that whatever words we can offer will help you find comfort.
     
    CanuckTravlr likes this.
  9. DeniseM

    DeniseM Moderator

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    Suggestion: When you want to ask for prayers about a topic which may not be OK for TUG, post something like this:

    My granddaughter is facing a very serious and difficult decision. Here name is (first name) - please keep her in your prayers.
     
    jackio, presley, CanuckTravlr and 3 others like this.
  10. b2bailey

    b2bailey TUG Member

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    I was starting to write this just before I read your post. It has to do with intention. When I first posted, I was writing from a place of desperation, for myself as well as granddaughter. I remembered times in the past when others had shared a need and Tuggers responded in a manner that expressed loving concern. The irony is that it seems my request for prayer was actually what stirred the hornets nest. Perhaps I should have asked for expressions of loving concern. It seems as though that's what I needed most. And for those who responded with an appeal to a Higher Power, I thank each of them as well. I truly did experience relief from my distress.
     
  11. Chrispee

    Chrispee Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    My thoughts were with you b2bailey, but I abstained from posting in the thread for a number of reasons (including what you mentioned above).

    We certainly don’t have to all share the same opinion on complex and contentious social issues, but it just takes one overzealous poster to go over the top with an all-knowing self-righteous statement to set off a conflict (as is ultimately what happened in that thread).

    I hope that you and your family find clarity, peace, and unity during this difficult process.
     
    jackio, CanuckTravlr and klpca like this.
  12. dioxide45

    dioxide45 TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I suspect which post was overzealous and over the top is determined by which side of the debate you are on. At least based on the posts that are still present in the locked thread.
     
  13. Chrispee

    Chrispee Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    To me, there was only one post that went over the top. I suppose my judgment could be clouded by my personal beliefs, but there were many other posts that were not emphatic and confrontational that did not align with my opinion, and I did not find them inflammatory or objectionable. :shrug:
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
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  14. silentg

    silentg TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    I didn’t see it as political? Hope all is well b2 Bailey.
     
  15. rapmarks

    rapmarks TUG Review Crew: Elite TUG Member

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    I need a safe place to post this.
    I do not like driving on expressways by big cities. My husband’s sixtieth reunion is Labor Day weekend. Of course he wants to go, despite the fact that he has Alzheimer’s. I do not want to drive into the traffic mess around the Chicago suburbs. Last time the drive was four to five hours. If I go on non highway, it will be six or seven hours. Our car is twenty years old, and not in great shape. Fine for driving locally. Furthermore, my ipass expires end of July and will not work on the toll roads. His reunion is three days,and in the past,I could go back to the room to avoid terminal boredom. Now, I can’t leave him alone. He will be very confused as he is at every new situation. Of course my children think I need to take him. He even wants to golf with the guys. We played today, and he lost balls on every hole. He used to be a champion golfer.
     
  16. Talent312

    Talent312 Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    Can you not have the children take him?
    It sounds like you could use some respite, and if it's important to them... :rolleyes:
    Or say that you're not up to it, becuz frankly, you may not be.

    .
     
  17. rapmarks

    rapmarks TUG Review Crew: Elite TUG Member

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    Wouldn’t it be lovely if one of his children took him, or relieved me in any way.
    Twice I have ended up in Er and I tried calling him tell him I would be late. He couldn’t hear me. I asked my daughter to check on him. She sent her baby sitter one time and a boyfriend another time.
     
  18. DrQ

    DrQ TUG Member

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    We had that issue when I was getting back on my feet after a long stretch of being unemployed. We rented a car for the week of our son's wedding to drive from DFW to Charlotte. We had two "local" cars, but I would not trust them on cross country trips.

    Another option would be to find a location on the periphery of Chicago you could drive and park and take an Uber/Lyft to the function and back. I grew up in Chi-town, where is the reunion, it might help with some suggestions.

    And yes, I would also lay on the guilt to participate in the kids sharing some of the cost and/or responsibilities. You are a great DW to even consider it, we just got back from Galveston and I was driving through light Houston and Dallas expressway traffic and my DW said she could not do it.
     
  19. rapmarks

    rapmarks TUG Review Crew: Elite TUG Member

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    Schaumburg Arlington heights area for the reunion.
    It helps to have a navigator when going through unfamiliar areas, and I don’t have one. From years of driving around Chicago to the south suburbs, I know how congested the suburbs are. I don’t like them.
     
  20. b2bailey

    b2bailey TUG Member

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    The topic by its nature is not political. I mentioned that because the topic is currently in news, and is frequently aligned with affiliations in political arena.
     
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