Possible relocation to Raleigh, NC - please offer Pros and Cons

[l2trade]

So, it sounds like the OP will be relocating from Long Island to NC, when the promotion offer comes through. I wish him and his family all the best with the relocation. It sounds like the move will be good for them. (back on topic)

 

[Ken555]

Damn, you hit the nail on the head of my biggest negative! I LOVE to ski and being in the mountains! We go skiing for 1 week each year at Park City and its my favorite trip of the year! If I didn't have little kids I'd go more then once a year.

Even NC is close enough to drive to ski! <back on topic>

 

[m61376]

Just read through this thread with interest. It's funny how different people view things differently. Admittedly, I'm prejudiced- I'm a die hard Long Islander. Love LI, love the suburban atmosphere, lifestyle, excellent schools, proximity to all that NYC- unarguably one of the best cities in the world- has to offer.

My kids are a little older, starting out on their own. True, some of their high school classmates have moved away, but many of them have returned and are living in the City- and I mean NYC, whether Manhattan, Brooklyn or Queens. Fast forward a few years when they start t have families, and many have returned to our hometown, while others have returned to LI and Westchester. So many twenty and thirty somethings can afford to live here.

Yes, it is more expensive. Housing is pricey, and maybe we have smaller homes than we could afford elsewhere. And our real estate taxes are high- but they pay for our excellent schools and they pay for our everyday services- no entry fees for parks, no fees for garbage pickup, etc. A lot of what our real estate taxes pays for people are nickel and dimed for elsewhere. So it's not all bleak here.

Maybe I have a different skew in things, but kids will grow up and become independent. Unless Joe's daughter has a problem with independence (which his posts have never alluded to) don't confuse interdependence with inability to be independent. Personally- and it's just my opinion- I wouldn't discourage a child from wanting to be close to her family. It lays the foundation for the future. There's something to be said for the proximity of family, and I sense from Joe's comments about his in-laws that's important to him as well.

My own Dad turned down a huge offer many years ago because my brother was in med school in the City (so not something he could just transfer from) and never looked back. Career wise not the best decision at the time, but life-wise it was. It set the bar, and after a fellowship out of town for a few years, my brother didn't consider beginning his career anyplace else. My guess is that had we made the move, ultimately the family would have been scattered all over.

Vacations create priceless memories, which is why we're all on Tug, but everyday proximity is even more priceless (again- imho). Of course, my opinion doesn't really matter here, but just adding another perspective to what some people may consider an important aspect of life not worth compromising for- and that's ok.

Tough decision, whatever you decide, and of course I wish you the best- good luck!

 

[momeason]

So much of a move depends on your attitude and how adaptable you are to change. Here in NC the cost of living is low and the weather is mild, and both the beach and the mountains are close by. We have GREAT colleges...Duke, UNC, Wake Forest. But we don't have Manhattan! And Raleigh/Durham is considered a major airport here In general, NC is a conservative state, so you might be in for some culture shock. I moved from NJ to KY to NC..I would go back to KY but not NJ..I'm too southern now!

I am a Native North Carolinian and I still live here.

The Research Triangle is the most liberal part of North Carolina. in fact,
all urban areas..Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh/ Durham/Chapel Hill are
more liberal than conservative. You will find a real mix of people from everywhere. There is definitely diversity in the Raleigh area because of the Research Triangle. We lived in the suburbs of Charlotte for 15 years. We had more yankee neighbors than North Carolinians.
Rural NC is conservative, Raleigh is definitely not.There are conservatives, but they are not the majority. They are just loud.
The Universities are among the best in the world. Duke, Wake Forest, UNC are great schools.
The cost of living is much lower, the climate is great, the people are friendly.
That raise will go a long way.
RDU and Charlotte Douglas have lots of International Flights. Traveling will not be a problem.
Charlotte is the nation's second largest banking center.
Really, the state is not backward. The education level in Raleigh and in Charlotte is extremely high.
I live on the coast now and I love my view from my home. I really miss the culture, education level and opportunities of urban NC.
Raleigh would be my number #1 pick of where to live and work in NC.
NC is known as the half-back state. Some northerners move to Florida and decide they do not like Florida. They move halfway back and settle in NC.
They love it here.
My son's girlfriend is from Long Island. She has been here 3 years. Her parents are considering moving here now. She lives in the Research Triangle.
Try it, you will love it!

 

[momeason]

I was born and raised on LI in Suffolk County. I used to play PAL ice hockey close to where you live. I left when I was 18 to go to school in SC at Clemson.

My parents were both public school teachers. When they retired they relocated to the SC upstate actually not too far from Clemson. With their NY teachers pensions they're able to live like kings there where the cost of living is so much less. Since they moved literally four of our other neighbors on LI have moved down to their same city in SC. When they visited and saw what kind of a home they could get and what the property taxes were like they were sold. We went there for Thanksgiving this year and I literally hung out with 3 of my friends that I grew up with on LI as we were all visiting our parents.

We still have family on LI and we go there to visit. We just went there this summer and our whole family rented a large house and had a blast. Hawaiian actually has a direct flight now to JFK, but I digress.

Raleigh and the research triangle is a great area! There aren't many other areas in the country that would be better to relocate to. Your daughter can transfer to some really good universities and there's plenty of good public schools in that area for your son.

If it were me, I would make the move.

Hi,
My son graduated from Clemson in 2008. SC is a much bigger adjustment from NY than the Raleigh area. My son left home a fairly liberal Methodist and became a Southern Baptist while at Clemson. Your family is lucky to have some other LI families around them. Retirement areas can be like that. SC is very conservative..Raleigh, NC not so much.

 

[Laurie]

The Research Triangle is the most liberal part of North Carolina. in fact,
all urban areas..Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh/ Durham/Chapel Hill are
more liberal than conservative. You will find a real mix of people from everywhere. There is definitely diversity in the Raleigh area...

Rural NC is conservative, Raleigh is definitely not.

All true, and in fact you don't have to live right in Raleigh to work in Raleigh. The least conservative, most progressive parts of the Triangle Area are Durham and Chapel Hill, if this is a consideration for you, and have also become somewhat of a foodie capital, getting written up in places like NY Times and Bon Appetit. Durham would be the most diverse.

I was born on LI, raised just outside of NYC, and live here in the Triangle area now. I love to visit NYC, but wouldn't move back.

edited to add: Chapel Hill schools prob have the best reputation in the area.

 

[amycurl]

Don't forget about the People's Republic of Carrboro.

(Said with much love and affection.)

 

[MOXJO7282]

As we continue to discuss this with our loved ones the positives are far out numbering the negatives but the negatives if not converted to a positive carries alot of weight with our decision.

I'm referring to my in-laws and if I can get them to agree to make the move with us. They're such a big part of our lives and we're the only ones of the 6 kids that the parents want to be with. All the other kids have moved away and hardly see them but we've been sharing every special moment together for the last 20 years and we would be hard pressed to leave these wonderful people. If they agree to come it almost makes it a no-brainer.

They are definitely open to it but they are very set in their ways so I need more than just words I need a real commitment to do it. It would involve selling two homes so there will be challenging logistics to coordinate but if they agreed to come and we found a nice two family compound I could see this working out superbly.

I'm really getting ahead of things because there really is no guarantee MetLife will make the moves although all indications are they are going to.

Personally I'm pretty damn excited about it because as much as I love my siblings and LI my primary focus is my family's long term security and happiness and I can see the move being a real positive in that aspect if every thing falls into place.

It may be a few weeks to a month before an announcement is made but I'll keep reporting if any news does develop.

Ideally it's a slow process and my daughter can finish year 2 and then we can make the transition.

Thanks again for all the positive and not so positive feedback, its all part of the equation so I thank everyone for the honesty.

 

[EileenL]

Moving to the South is like moving to another country

There are pluses and minus
Keep your old home so you can move back if you want to whereas if you sell it you could never afford to move back

Moving to the South is like moving to another country unless you only have northern friends. Without young kids it may be harder to meet people.

The colleges are good. Your daughter would have her pick of great colleges once you have resident status. The k-12 schools are not ranked as high as the North. There is a reason salaries and taxes are so high up north. North believes in putting money back into schools, parks, libraries, etc.

Lots of diversity.

Lots of green.

Yes you can buy a bigger house but doing so will make it hard to move back or anywhere else - buying the same size helps keep things in perspective. If you move inside the Beltway - you can pay a lot more for a house but it does have its charm - anywhere else will feel like LI sprawl.

The Beach is 3 hours away. There are a ton of jelly fish
The mountains are about 4 hours away

Being a college basketball fan is important

The pros and cons are not enough to decide. I read everyone's and the only ones that count are yours. Spending every vacation driving back north to visit family may or may not be fun - during the winter there is the snow and the Jersey Turnpike and it is expensive.

Your home is paid for. Your friends can not be found in the south. Yes people are very much friendlier but are the relationships as deep.

There are pockets of conservatives. The school board in Raleigh was taken over and their first decision was to segregate schools again. That has changed. Life is different there.

Good luck with your decision

As we continue to discuss this with our loved ones the positives are far out numbering the negatives but the negatives if not converted to a positive carries alot of weight with our decision.

I'm referring to my in-laws and if I can get them to agree to make the move with us. They're such a big part of our lives and we're the only ones of the 6 kids that the parents want to be with. All the other kids have moved away and hardly see them but we've been sharing every special moment together for the last 20 years and we would be hard pressed to leave these wonderful people. If they agree to come it almost makes it a no-brainer.

They are definitely open to it but they are very set in their ways so I need more than just words I need a real commitment to do it. It would involve selling two homes so there will be challenging logistics to coordinate but if they agreed to come and we found a nice two family compound I could see this working out superbly.

I'm really getting ahead of things because there really is no guarantee MetLife will make the moves although all indications are they are going to.

Personally I'm pretty damn excited about it because as much as I love my siblings and LI my primary focus is my family's long term security and happiness and I can see the move being a real positive in that aspect if every thing falls into place.

It may be a few weeks to a month before an announcement is made but I'll keep reporting if any news does develop.

Ideally it's a slow process and my daughter can finish year 2 and then we can make the transition.

Thanks again for all the positive and not so positive feedback, its all part of the equation so I thank everyone for the honesty.

 

[Clemson Fan]

There are pockets of conservatives. The school board in Raleigh was taken over and their first decision was to segregate schools again. That has changed. Life is different there.

Huh, segregation?

Please provide a reference because I think that statement is purely biased opinion not based on any facts.

 

[Clemson Fan]

The k-12 schools are not ranked as high as the North. There is a reason salaries and taxes are so high up north. North believes in putting money back into schools, parks, libraries, etc.

That used to be true, but as time goes on it's becoming less and less true. I don't confess to know the statistics, but I bet you there are far more northern schools on austerity budgets now compared to the south. My niece and nephew just recently finished public school down south and they had a great all around experience.

I'm a public school product from LI and I did receive a great education that prepared me immensely well for college. However, that was 20+ years ago now.

 

[Helene4]

Seriously, there are NO cons! If you have that opportunity, do not hesitate...it is an amazing opportunity! We should be so lucky!

WRONG!!! State tax on your pension!!! :annoyed:

 

[Bucky]

Huh, segregation?

Please provide a reference because I think that statement is purely biased opinion not based on any facts.

You're right. A totally untrue statement based on no supporting facts.

The Wake County school board is trying to nail down a redistricting plan and is being put through the wringer because they want to cut back on busing kids out of their own districts into more affluent districts! Shoot, we didn't have busing when I was a child. We went to what ever school was within walking distance to where we lived! Now the school boards are either considered segregationist or racists when they try and save money and reduce expenses because people won't stand for tax increases to bus their children! Go figure.