FB (Facebook) advice

[Ironwood]

Is there anyway I can continue to 'friend' a distant relative so we can exchange posts, but restrict him from making comments to other family and friends who have commented on my postings? My brother's middle aged oldest son lives on the other side of the country. He has an assortment of issues, lives on social assistance and has no family himself. I haven't seen him in 20 years, and my brother doesn't want the rest of us to isolate him. He is family and I wish to keep in touch. But, again this morning he has piped in on a post I made yesterday, making a sarcastic, wholly inappropriate comment to a comment a friend made on my post. Friends would know he is not part of my family, but obviously a relative as our last names are the same. I now need to message my friend to apologize for the remark made to his comment.

 

[klpca]

Is there anyway I can continue to 'friend' a distant relative so we can exchange posts, but restrict him from making comments to other family and friends who have commented on my postings? My brother's middle aged oldest son lives on the other side of the country. He has an assortment of issues, lives on social assistance and has no family himself. I haven't seen him in 20 years, and my brother doesn't want the rest of us to isolate him. He is family and I wish to keep in touch. But, again this morning he has piped in on a post I made yesterday, making a sarcastic, wholly inappropriate comment to a comment a friend made on my post. Friends would know he is not part of my family, but obviously a relative as our last names are the same. I now need to message my friend to apologize for the remark made to his comment.

I know that you can turn off commenting, but I think that is a global setting. I had the same issue with my dad. I just had to keep deleting his posts. So annoying! He thinks that everyone younger than him is lazy and entitled, so he made a hobby of making rude comments on other's posts, especially my kids posts. He started full-on arguments with my kids and their friends. It was very embarrassing. Eventually my kids (and their friends) just stopped using facebook so now it is no longer an issue.

I deactivated my facebook for the holidays. I may never go back. I haven't missed it at all. It used to be fun but it turned into a very negative environment with the political posts, the constant fundraising, and the business promotion. I really just wanted to see vacation photos and pictures of grandkids and pets. Instagram works much better for that.

 

[SmithOp]

You cannot restrict a friend from making a comment on a post. All you can do is create a post and restrict him from seeing it at all. When you create it, set the privacy level to Friends except...

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[moonstone]

I don't know about fb on a phone (because I refuse to use the app) but on a computer click on the little triangle in the dark blue stripe at the top of the page - in the drop down you'll see 'settings'. In the settings click on 'timeline and tagging' section on the left side. In the timeline area you can edit who can post on your timeline, as well as who can see what you post - I think you can choose 'friends except...' and type the offenders name in. That may solve your problem.

~Diane

 

[Ironwood]

I don't know about fb on a phone (because I refuse to use the app) but on a computer click on the little triangle in the dark blue stripe at the top of the page - in the drop down you'll see 'settings'. In the settings click on 'timeline and tagging' section on the left side. In the timeline area you can edit who can post on your timeline, as well as who can see what you post - I think you can choose 'friends except...' and type the offenders name in. That may solve your problem.

~Diane

Thanks Diane...I was poking around FB settings this morning on my iPhone and ipad mini, but small format devices don't show you all the settings you can work with. Will go on my lap top later and figure it out.

 

[SmithOp]

That will only stop them from creating a post on your timeline, it won't stop commenting on posts.

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[Cornell]

I have put all of my FB connections into 2 categories "friends" and "Acquaintances" (there is a FB setting which allows for this).

Sometimes when I post on FB I share things to Friends & acquaintances, sometimes just my friends.

This limits who sees which posts.

Sometimes I'm even sneakier. I will post to a "custom list". For instance, I exclude specific people from seeing certain posts.

By doing this sort of thing, you remain friends with someone on FB but you can control which posts they see , hence restricting their ability to comment on what you post.

Hope this helps.

By the way, I understand your predicament, but my philosophy is to never apologize for OTHER people's bad behavior. I can explain, clarify it, but I won't apologize for things I didn't do !

 

[b2bailey]

This is a difficult and touchy problem. Is this (difficult but related) person unable to respond to your personal message asking him to be gentler with his comments? On the other hand, most people on FB are mature enough to recognize the people who are a bit off and just accept it. I have a couple of nieces who post borderline bad taste items. I still have them as friends, but I don't see their posts in my daily feed. If I want to check up on them, I can go directly to their page.

 

[geekette]

the worst part of this is feeling like you have to go around apologizing for what someone else writes. that would get exhausting.

never used fb, never will, but it has been an interesting experiment in human behavior.

 

[Patri]

When a childhood friend made inappropriate comments to MY friends' comments (people she did not know), I had to unfriend her entirely.

 

[moonstone]

That will only stop them from creating a post on your timeline, it won't stop commenting on posts.

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But you can change the settings to prevent somebody (or a few people) from seeing your posts. So if they cant see the post they cant comment on it.

~Diane

 

[moonstone]

I have put all of my FB connections into 2 categories "friends" and "Acquaintances" (there is a FB setting which allows for this).

All 3 of our kids have been doing that sort of thing since they started using fb, but they have 'family' and 'friends', then within the friends, they can post things for 'friends except...' They said there are things their friends post (party photos?) that they don't want family (especially Mom & Dad I think) to see!

I have a friend who is a college teacher/professor. He has 2 Facebook profile pages with slightly different names. One has just family and close friends as 'friends' and the security (who can see/post) is very tight, the other page/profile is for everybody else (co-workers, other friends & acquaintances). He said if one of his students were to search for him they could only find his 'public' page and his other family page wont even show up, so they cant see any personal photos or see any of his family members' posts.


~Diane

 

[VacationForever]

I don't post anything on my Facebook. With FB, you can turn off the ability of having others post on your timeline.