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Cannibal gives deli one-star rating

Discussion in 'TUG Lounge' started by T_R_Oglodyte, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. T_R_Oglodyte

    T_R_Oglodyte TUG Lifetime Member

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    He was disappointed because nobody put a thumb on the scale.
     
  2. AwayWeGo

    AwayWeGo TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    [triennial - points]
    Cannibal One: I don't like your brother-in-law.

    Cannibal Two: Then just eat the noodles.

    -- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​
     
  3. T_R_Oglodyte

    T_R_Oglodyte TUG Lifetime Member

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    Cannibal 1: Your husband makes a great soup.

    Cannibal 2: Yes. I'm going to miss him dearly.
     
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  4. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Cannibal 1's Child: I hate my brother's guts.

    Cannibal 1: Shut up and eat your dinner.
     
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  5. Jan M.

    Jan M. TUG Member

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    And here I thought my husband was the king of bad jokes! He could use some new material so I guess I'll have to show him these. I'll be remembering who specifically not to thank after the first half a dozen times I've heard him tell them.
     
  6. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    Cannibal wife: your mom left a bad taste in my mouth.
    Cannibal husband: you won’t see her anymore, but a part of her will always be inside us.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2019
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  7. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    Cannibal mother to her children: Your nourishing father gave us his heart, body, blood, sweat, and tears.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2019
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  8. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    cannibal male: sing your favorite song.
    Cannibal female: I was starving til I tasted you (by Hailee Steinfield)
     
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  9. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    deleted
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2019
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  10. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    AwayWeGo and DaveNW like this.
  11. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Clever. I think the last one is a shade too adult for this forum. You may want to rethink that one.

    Dave
     
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  12. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    Which one of my jokes is your favorite?
     
  13. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    deleted.
     
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  14. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Probably the "bad taste in my mouth" one. But Steve started this. I'll let him decide. :)

    Dave
     
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  15. RX8

    RX8 TUG Member

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    Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny to you?”
     
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  16. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Same reason sharks never eat clowns. They taste funny.

    Dave
     
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  17. T_R_Oglodyte

    T_R_Oglodyte TUG Lifetime Member

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    Grammarhero likes this.
  18. Jan M.

    Jan M. TUG Member

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    Why couldn't the cannibal put the missionary in the pot? Because he was a friar.

    My husband's contribution.
     
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  19. T_R_Oglodyte

    T_R_Oglodyte TUG Lifetime Member

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    Sharks also never eat attorneys. Professional courtesy.
     
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  20. Big Matt

    Big Matt TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    Did you here about the Cannibal who passed the missionary on the trail?
     
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  21. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    Why did TS resorts stop receiving MF payments? On sales presentations, TS salesmen would eat TS owners alive.
     
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  22. chapjim

    chapjim TUG Member

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    Well, this thread sure lowered the level!!
     
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  23. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Member

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    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019

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