T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
What is it with the Chicago Bears and their lackluster (at best) ability to draft or sign QBs? With a franchise as storied as the Bears, the list of best QBs starts with Sid Luckman (certainly worthy), but then drops to McMahon, Blanda, and Cutler.
Chicago gets it's drinking water from Lake Michigan. Could there possibly be something that accumulates in that stagnant south end of the lake during the summer, and then wreaks quarterback havoc in the fall and winter, decimating the QB evaluation capabilities of otherwise capable GMs, head coaches, and offensive coordinators? Or perhaps there's some encephalopathic worm that transits the water treatment plant, survives disinfection, enters the ear canal during showering, migrates from there to the brain, and then, Alzheimer's like, drapes plaque across the neurons that are needed to read defenses, call audibles, do play-action fakes, avoid the rush, check down receivers, deliver passes on target, and manage the game clock?
Think about it - Stanford, the Northwestern University of the West Coast - has an illustrious history of producing top-flight QBs. But Northwestern University itself? - nary a one.
The water supply at Stanford comes from the City of San Francisco Hetch Hetchy system, which is snowmelt from Yosemite National Park, renowned for it's inherent purity. Northwestern University - that's Chicago municipal water from Lake Michigan. Chicago, the city, that in desperation, reversed the flow of the Chicago River to flow to the west, away from the lake, to minimize the amount stockyard and city wastewater getting into the city water supply.
Could this all be coincidence? Has anybody done statistically significant postmortem comparative autopsies of Chicago Bears QBs and non-Chicago Bears QBs? You be the judge.
Chicago gets it's drinking water from Lake Michigan. Could there possibly be something that accumulates in that stagnant south end of the lake during the summer, and then wreaks quarterback havoc in the fall and winter, decimating the QB evaluation capabilities of otherwise capable GMs, head coaches, and offensive coordinators? Or perhaps there's some encephalopathic worm that transits the water treatment plant, survives disinfection, enters the ear canal during showering, migrates from there to the brain, and then, Alzheimer's like, drapes plaque across the neurons that are needed to read defenses, call audibles, do play-action fakes, avoid the rush, check down receivers, deliver passes on target, and manage the game clock?
Think about it - Stanford, the Northwestern University of the West Coast - has an illustrious history of producing top-flight QBs. But Northwestern University itself? - nary a one.
The water supply at Stanford comes from the City of San Francisco Hetch Hetchy system, which is snowmelt from Yosemite National Park, renowned for it's inherent purity. Northwestern University - that's Chicago municipal water from Lake Michigan. Chicago, the city, that in desperation, reversed the flow of the Chicago River to flow to the west, away from the lake, to minimize the amount stockyard and city wastewater getting into the city water supply.
Could this all be coincidence? Has anybody done statistically significant postmortem comparative autopsies of Chicago Bears QBs and non-Chicago Bears QBs? You be the judge.
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