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How Old Should Kids Be When They Get Their Own Digital Devices?

uaremymuse

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So the ap on my young grand daughter's Ipad that does virtual experiments is a waste of our time? Sitting there discussing what we know, what we want to know, and how to design an experiment to get that info is useless? Before you ask I have two children both with graduate degrees in Inorganic Chemistry or Engineering. My wife has worked in early childhood education for 40 yrs as both an academic and service provider. I also know that I have seen people I consider not to be the best parents raise beautiful human beings and the greatest parents in the world raise a monster. I thank God every day that my boys are what they are despite all the mistakes my wife and I made.

Not sure what your experience has to do with my comments or the original topic but regardless, happy to hear you’re having an enjoyable experience with your grandkids and that you did well with your children.


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uaremymuse

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"I have a plethora of statistics to back up my philosophy on this topic"

Reminds me of a quote attributed to Mark Twain: "There are lies, damn lies, and then statistics."

The statistics are my personal experiences with children and parents over 30 years. They aren’t someone else’s statistics. Regardless, I agree with Mr Clements.


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uaremymuse

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And yet again you stereotype whole groups of people and then use those stereotypes to prove your point.

If you climb down off that high horse you might realize that all of these issues are not so black and white and a lot of the people you judge are just doing the best they can given their situation.

I’m not judging anyone. I’m speaking from 30 years of counseling experience.


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uaremymuse

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Pretty harsh and attacking. Totally inappropriate. How come everyone else has kept from attacking personal comments but you.

I wasn’t attacking anyone so you’re wrong there. It’s called a conversation, a discussion.


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uaremymuse

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I’m also going to add there there is truly no way a teenager could have a social life in today’s age without a smart phone. It is how teens communicate and make plans. And providing teens access to their friends for an independent social life is absolutely developmentally appropriate and healthy.

Of course they can do all of that. They can call their friends on a telephone.


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bluehende

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Not sure what your experience has to do with my comments or the original topic but regardless, happy to hear you’re having an enjoyable experience with your grandkids and that you did well with your children.


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Well I used your words...soooooo
 

bluehende

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I’m not judging anyone. I’m speaking from 30 years of counseling experience.


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from your post

then the parents have the audacity

Parents always say they do it for security reasons as a cover story but that’s only a small part of their rationale.

Sounds pretty judgemental to me. And that is from only one of your posts.
 

bluehende

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What words were those?


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read the posts instead of just acting all high and mighty....they are there.

hint

There’s very little meaningful conversation to be had or useful use of one’s time.

Please use a bit of your time to verify that what you are asking was not answered a few posts above your question.
 

uaremymuse

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I know this has been primarily about children and electronic devices. But a sad commentary on today's societal norms. Shortly before I retired a few of us from work were out to lunch. Between ordering food and eating woderful Thai Food we had a table conversation about then current affairs family, etc. Two people come into the restaurant. They definitely appeared to be co-workers. As soon as they sat down out came the Smart Fones. Throughout their meal hardly a word passed between the two. Their noses were buried in their Smart Fones. Sad to see. What happened to face-to-face interaction? Can the youth of today successfully participate in face-to-face interaction. I hate it when people try and draw me into a long text exchanges. Why not just drop by or call?

Agree completely. It’s sad. Parents even text their own kids while both are in the same house to come to dinner. Sad. Really sad.


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Luanne

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Of course they can do all of that. They can call their friends on a telephone.


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Not when they are out and about. Have you tried to find a pay phone lately?
 

uaremymuse

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Not when they are out and about. Have you tried to find a pay phone lately?

Then they can borrow someone’s phone, wait until they arrive home or you can buy them a non smart phone as I originally suggested early on.


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Luanne

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One other thing. I guess some don’t read all of the comments.


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Yes, that's true. I will also admit that even if I read them all, I don't always remember them all. I think I'm done with this thread.
 

klpca

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No phones here. I have high school sophomores and an 8th grader. My 22 yr old got a phone when he went to college. They have tablets, and they have chromebooks at school. But no phones until they are driving. (*I* only have a pay as you go flip phone. And somehow I get through life fine.)

All of those apps or whatever they need for teams go through my husband's smart phone. We push back when coaches/teachers assume that kids have access to phones/internet. We live in a higher poverty district...and the truth is...some of these kids get their internet access at McDonalds or the library. Not cool to assume that everyone has internet at home.

Our middle school has a "no cell phone" policy starting this year. The phones will be locked up from arrival to departure. If the parent needs the kid, they can call the office.

In my opinion, phones give everyone such a false sense of security. In other words, people feel that because they CAN contact their child, their child will be safe. How I wish it were that simple.
I track my husband on my phone. Mostly to see if he has left work yet and if I should start the rice. :D If they had tracking apps when my kids were in school I would have installed it so fast their heads would spin.

I have no issue with the schools collecting the phones from the kids during class. How that wasn't a thing from day one is beyond me.
 

missyrcrews

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I track my husband on my phone. Mostly to see if he has left work yet and if I should start the rice. :D If they had tracking apps when my kids were in school I would have installed it so fast their heads would spin.

I have no issue with the schools collecting the phones from the kids during class. How that wasn't a thing from day one is beyond me.
Oh, the after-lunch drama we have had to deal with....they all sit and get on those phones over lunch time, and the period right after lunch is HORRIBLE. So we are done with it. They will have to talk to each other. Such a concept. :)
 

Cornell

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A personal update: My daughter is now in Switzerland (she as an AFS exchange student) and has started her classes at the local high school. Yesterday we used her smartphone to FaceTime each other. Really was great for me to be able to see her and her surroundings. She gave me a little tour of her home. She also has been using her phone to navigate the public transportation system as she's riding that to school back and forth each way. She also has been purchasing things that she needs using Apple Pay via her phone. Oh, and she did some research about the history of her medieval-era town that she's living in on her phone, too. Yes, she's 16 and probably could have done this by writing letters, taking Polaroids, using printed bus timetables, going to a bank to exchange currency, and locating a public library.

And guess what? I think she's doing JUST FINE.
 
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missyrcrews

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A personal update: My daughter is now in Switzerland (she as an AFS exchange student) and has started her classes at the local high school. Yesterday we used her smartphone to FaceTime each other. Really was great for me to be able to see her and her surroundings. She gave me a little tour of her home. She also has been using her phone to navigate the public transportation system as she's riding that to school back and forth each way. She also has been purchasing things that she needs using Apple Pay via her phone. Oh, and she did some research about the history of her medieval-era town that she's living in on her phone, too. Yes, she's 16 and probably could have done this by writing letters, taking Polaroids, using printed bus timetables, going to a bank to exchange currency, and locating a public library.

And guess what? I think she's doing JUST FINE.

I don't think your daughter is who we're talking about. She is in an extraordinary situation, doing some amazing things, away from her family and her country. Yes, she needs a phone.

My children are home every night, do not drive yet, etc. They do sports, are social beings, etc. Do they need a phone? Nope. Not a chance until they are driving.

Different kids, different circumstances, different house rules. It's okay. I'm not going to convince you of anything other than what you're doing, nor will I try. :) And I'm going to hold firm on what works in my house.

Done. Can we get back to timesharing now?

[Quote code repaired - mg]
 
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klpca

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I don't think your daughter is who we're talking about. She is in an extraordinary situation, doing some amazing things, away from her family and her country. Yes, she needs a phone.

My children are home every night, do not drive yet, etc. They do sports, are social beings, etc. Do they need a phone? Nope. Not a chance until they are driving.

Different kids, different circumstances, different house rules. It's okay. I'm not going to convince you of anything other than what you're doing, nor will I try. :) And I'm going to hold firm on what works in my house.

Done. Can we get back to timesharing now?

[Quote code repaired - mg]
Personally, the one place I would not encourage phone use is in the car. We had the hardest time with that. So if you have waited that long, why not just wait until they have some driving hours under their belt before getting a phone? (btw, no judgement from me! Everyone has to do what is right for them. It was just the one place are that my kids and I had issues; they would definitely answer the phone while driving if I happened to call. Made me so mad! I would tell them, just let it go to vm, but they would always answer that phone).
 

SteelerGal

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The articles are often written to remind anyone who is parenting the necessity of diligence regarding technology. As a law enforcement family who fosters, we see ugliness that children should not be exposed to. So yes, we are old school and teaching our children about the responsibility needed regarding technology.
 
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missyrcrews

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Personally, the one place I would not encourage phone use is in the car. We had the hardest time with that. So if you have waited that long, why not just wait until they have some driving hours under their belt before getting a phone? (btw, no judgement from me! Everyone has to do what is right for them. It was just the one place are that my kids and I had issues; they would definitely answer the phone while driving if I happened to call. Made me so mad! I would tell them, just let it go to vm, but they would always answer that phone).
I agree. But once they drive, then I want them to be able to call AAA. Double-edged sword. Maine has a no-hand held devices law beginning next month. And they won't be driving for some time....we're still in driver's ed!
 

Luanne

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I agree. But once they drive, then I want them to be able to call AAA. Double-edged sword. Maine has a no-hand held devices law beginning next month. And they won't be driving for some time....we're still in driver's ed!
My younger dd just got a Subaru Crosstrek. If she is in any kind of accident the "car" will check to make sure she's okay and if she doesn't respond will send emergency help to her. However, I still want her to have a cell phone.
 

Sea Six

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When they're old enough to be away at school all day, they're old enough to have a phone. Not the latest and greatest expensive 4G phone, but at least an older phone, like a 4s 3G that can be had for around $100. The kids will at least be able to call for help and play games on Wifi, and not be using paid data. I wanted to give my 6 year old granddaughter my old 4s, but her Dad said no.
 
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