The Perfect Marriage

[OldGuy]

When you both realize that regardless of how many bad habits she has made you stop doing and how many good habits she has made you start doing in her never-ending effort to make you into the person she really wanted to marry, you have come to the point where you're as good as you're ever going to get and you both are pretty-much OK with it.

 

[Passepartout]

I have always said that women marry men that they think they can mold into the perfect husband. And men marry women that they want to never change from being the perfect, beautiful, sexy spouse. Both are disappointed.

Jim

 

[easyrider]

Our attraction to each other was we were both a bit wild and good looking when we got together 42 years ago. Not much has changed regarding us except our age.

Bill

 

[bbodb1]

Our attraction to each other was we were both a bit wild and good looking when we got together 42 years ago. Not much has changed regarding us except our age.

Bill

And the frequency and duration of wildness????????

 

[easyrider]

And the frequency and duration of wildness????????

As we age the definition of wild changes. Occasionally, my actions prove this wrong.

Bill

 

[Bucky]

For the first 20 years we butted heads quite a bit. That’s what two 20 yr olds do when they get married after only knowing ea other 3.5 months! But, then the porch light went on for this old man! I finally realized who the real boss was and life got so much easier for me and the boss. Now we are sitting here only a few months away from our 50th wondering where it all went so fast!

 

[AnnaS]

Almost 37 years and we still butt heads - we hardly agree on anything and argue/discuss quiet a lot . We still care enough to argue. We do have the same goals......just different opinions on how to get there sometimes.

Looking forward to spending the rest of our days together.

 

[Shankilicious]

I was the wild one but 6 months outside of college I realized how much I wanted a good, solid, life with a good understanding woman who understood my dreams. We're 32, married 7 years, and right now are about to have our second while building a custom house. Throughout the pregnancy and house building we've had one legit argument/disagreement about which wall the shower head should come out of.
I attribute this to my dealing with the scum of the earth on the daily and knowing how amazingly together my life is in comparison and the fact that my amazing wife is the most logical person when it comes to what she wants. Except for the fact that she wanted to marry me, that mad/kes no sense lol!

 

[pedro47]

Fifty two (52) years ago + some months we were young and in love. We were not wild, just young college students in love. After fifty two (52) years with a wonderful son and daughter in law. Plus, two (2) awesome Grandchildren all is well. Do we disagree. Yes. Do we argue. Yes. Do we make mistake, Yes. Who is smarter. She is. Who is the English and grammar perfectionist. She is.

Do we make up after we argue. Yes.

We never go to bed without making up after an argument or disagreement.

Is our marriage perfect. No. Do but we are still trying to improve our marriage.

Finally, we still Love One Another and praying to be together another Fifty Two (52) Years.

Folks, we have been Bless by God.

 

[Glynda]

For the first 20 years we butted heads quite a bit. That’s what two 20 yr olds do when they get married after only knowing ea other 3.5 months! But, then the porch light went on for this old man! I finally realized who the real boss was and life got so much easier for me and the boss. Now we are sitting here only a few months away from our 50th wondering where it all went so fast!

That's our story too! Met my husband on May 1st when I was 19. We were both in our second year of college, but at different schools in the same VA town. Mine was a very strict Baptist girl's college. We could only date on Friday and Saturday nights. We spoke on the phone when he was lucky enough to be able to get through on the pay phone booth that was in my dorm's student lounge. June 1st found me 3 hours away attending summer school at Virgina Commonwealth Univ., then called "Richmond Professional Institute". We corresponded by letter and spoke when he could get through on another pay phone. We saw each other on the few weekends when he could drive to Richmond. I didn't have a car. By August I was back home in Florida planning a wedding for August 31. Three months from meeting to marrying. I honestly didn't even know if he would show up for the wedding as his parents and sister were opposed. It was tough. We were kids and we were strangers. It will be 51 years this August. Time has flown!

Perfect? No. Not even close. I wouldn't do it again in the same manner. I regret that I didn't go on to finish my education and gotten a foothold into my career before marrying. I did eventually finish my undergraduate degree and we both went on to get graduate degrees. He is a good guy and taken very good care of me and we've had some great life adventures.

Congrats on your 50th!

 

[Timeshare Von]

Being second marriages for both of us (he had been single again for nearly 20 years . . . and I had come out of a long 18 year relationship that included 9 years of marriage); we were both realistic about changing anyone or trying to be someone we weren't.

We embraced our uniqueness and didn't do things just to please the other. It's been an amazing 19 years (2 dating + 17 married). I have the space to go and do as I wish (mostly travel related) . . . he's not forced to go along to get along. We do have some mutual interests, but all all all we live a great blended life!

I'm 62 this year; he just turned 58.

We've had challenges, both with jobs/careers and health, but we've endured and become better partners for having made it through the tough times.

I feel so very blessed!

 

[OldGuy]

For the first 20 years we butted heads quite a bit. That’s what two 20 yr olds do

Wow!!! You were 20 for a long time!!!

 

[Lydlady]

DH and I are quite different on so many levels that of course it does cause conflicts at times. But our major beliefs are the same and we tend to agree on major issues.

 

[bbodb1]

As we age the definition of wild changes. Occasionally, my actions prove this wrong.

Bill

So you (too) are in the camp of "I am not as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was?"

 

[pedro47]

easyrider and bbodb 1, you are like very rare wine as you age. You are getting better .

No marriage is 100 % percent IMO.

 

[slip]

It will be 35 years for us this October. Bumps along the way sure but I’ll go against the grain and say it is perfect because I couldn’t imagine life without my wife.

 

[OldGuy]

No marriage is 100 % percent IMO.

Ours is 100 % percent percent.

 

[OldGuy]

but I am as good once as I ever was?"

I hope to be there some day.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I always figured life wouldn't be complete until I was married. Afterward I knew I was finished.

 

[pedro47]

I always figured life wouldn't be complete until I was married. Afterward I knew I was finished.

I like that quote. Is this why. I have learned the word Yes and keep smiling.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I like that quote. Is this why. I have learned the word Yes and keep smiling.

I borrowed it from Zsa Zsa Gabor - "A man is not complete until he is married. After that he is finished."

also from Zsa Zsa - "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house."

*******

On a more serious note, one time I received an excellent piece of advice (regarding a work situation, but highly applicable to marriage). The advice was to take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. In one column put solutions that involve you taking an action or changing an attitude. In the other column pot solutions that required other people to change their actions or attitudes.

Then ask yourself, which of those solutions do you have the most ability to put into effect by your own efforts? Is it easier to change yourself and your actions, or to try to compel other people to change their actions.

Once I did that I realized the extent I had tied myself to changing her instead of simply accepting her and loving unconditionally. And that made all the difference. Another of the realizations that is part of being blessed. I am free from feeling that my peace and joy requires something from other people.

 

[easyrider]

So you (too) are in the camp of "I am not as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was?"

lol, I guess so, but no pharmaceutical help quite yet. I'm sure that day is going to happen.

Me and Dave are going out for a Razor vrs Wrangler show down on Thursday. The girls are going for the better judgement thing.

Bill

 

[OldGuy]

. . . pot solutions . . .

well, there ya go

 

[Bucky]

Wow!!! You were 20 for a long time!!!

Actually we are still only 20, in our minds!

 

[OldGuy]

20 was good for me. I believe that's about where I peaked.